Do you hide your sexual needs from your significant other?

[Strixaluco]

Well, you have to be 100% comfortable with yourself before you can begin the process of being comfortable with someone else.

I am. He seems to be. Just I have experience in living with someone, he doesn't.

As strange as this may sound, if staying appart keeps you closer, why not let things the way they are, at least for the time being.

We have different views about which option would keep or bring us closer.

Nothing is happening any time soon, though. I still have a cat, and he's mildly allergic. (Though he's becoming a cat person very quickly!)

 

[Vitriolhack]

reading through these responses is real sobering.

For those of y’all in “broken” marriages and just feel stuck by finances or kids, do you feel like there’s something you could have done differently if you could go back in time, or does the failure feel inevitable?

Obviously, there’s the “I wouldn’t have gotten married” answer, but I mean after that.

Very tough question to answer.

Personally, I will blame myself, I wanted to conform to the religious upbringing I got, I refused to accept myself as I was.

That’s the past, I have made peace with it, I wouldn’t be where I am today without my past, all of it that is.

Am I happy? Yes, more happy than unhappy, am I fulfilled? Oh, another tough question, in many regards, more difficult to answer.

V.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I am. He seems to be. Just I have experience in living with someone, he doesn't.


We have different views about which option would keep or bring us closer.

Nothing is happening any time soon, though. I still have a cat, and he's mildly allergic. (Though he's becoming a cat person very quickly!)

Best line I ever heard; it goes something like,
“experience is the name we give to our failures!” Oscar Wilde.

 

[HornyBiCrossdresser]

Yes, I hide some of my sexual needs. The parts in my user name became pretty obvious, were tolerated, now accepted in private settings. But my other kinks go way beyond that, and I choose to pursue them when I’m alone, rather than forcing my partner into uncomfortable situations.

 

[Rm3452]

Unfortunately yes

 

[inadequate]

I recently opened up about a lot of it and felt like I was accepted for having them, but getting them met is a non-starter. I almost wish I had never opened up at all.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I recently opened up about a lot of it and felt like I was accepted for having them, but getting them met is a non-starter. I almost wish I had never opened up at all.

Well, give it some time, ultimately, if your partner chose to listen to you and stay with you, I think you are both better for it.

Why do you feel you shouldn’t have spoken to her?

 

[inadequate]

Well, give it some time, ultimately, if your partner chose to listen to you and stay with you, I think you are both better for it.

Why do you feel you shouldn’t have spoken to her?

It's hard to share fantasies with someone who doesn't have any. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

 

[Vitriolhack]

It's hard to share fantasies with someone who doesn't have any. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

There is NOTHING wrong with you, fantasies are normal.

In fact the opposite is true, rare are those that have no fantasies.

 

[SymoreButtz]

My partner and I are kinky but his sex drive is alot less. Its frustrating and chat here has led to new needs and kinks i don't share with him

Well I'm in about the same saturation as you, and what looks to be a lot others on here in the same boat. Wife and I sex drive has taken 2 different roads in the last 10 years. Hers has been going down hill, while mine has been like a rocket. Going straight up at the speed of light. I can't even talk about sex or make offhanded comments thats sexually in nature without getting that look of "really" But trust me, you will find someway or person to fill your needs with or without your partner./wife/husband. If they don't want to come along for the ride, then so be it.
So it's easier to find someone or someplace (lit among others) that you can talk with about or act on your likes, fantasies, and kinks....

 

[Vitriolhack]

Well I'm in about the same saturation as you, and what looks to be a lot others on here in the same boat. Wife and I sex drive has taken 2 different roads in the last 10 years. Hers has been going down hill, while mine has been like a rocket. Going straight up at the speed of light. I can't even talk about sex or make offhanded comments thats sexually in nature without getting that look of "really" But trust me, you will find someway or person to fill your needs with or without your partner./wife/husband. If they don't want to come along for the ride, then so be it.
So it's easier to find someone or someplace (lit among others) that you can talk with about or act on your likes, fantasies, and kinks....

Sexual indifference is often a manifestation of other issues.

Wishing you well.

 

[Elle4u2use2]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

 

[Loves2lick4u]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

Will you tell him or just your LIT pals? At some time you will get to the point of wanting to take it past the watching others in a porn show and want to try some out in person. Right?

 

[Yarglenurp]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

porn addiction isn’t a good thing per se. But I think the rest is probably something he’d be up for if he’s already willing to try ddlg, victim/burglar role play, and choking. Just let it come out at a rate he’s comfortable with.

 

[Strixaluco]

porn addiction isn’t a good thing per se. But I think the rest is probably something he’d be up for if he’s already willing to try ddlg, victim/burglar role play, and choking. Just let it come out at a rate he’s comfortable with.

Ermm... No. At least incest role play is something that is not predicted by what he's already comfortable with, there's nothing similar in the first list.

 

[SmoothAndSweet]

Nope. I let them know on the first date

 

[Yarglenurp]

Ermm... No. At least incest role play is something that is not predicted by what he's already comfortable with, there's nothing similar in the first list.

Isn’t daddy/ddlg play incest? Or am I misunderstanding something?

 

[Strixaluco]

Isn’t daddy/ddlg play incest? Or am I misunderstanding something?

DD/lg is definitely NOT about incest. Not in the least.
Those playing with just daddy-kink are also often not into the DD/lg lifestyle.

 

[fredrock]

It is more like she ignores me...than i have to hide it.

 

[Yarglenurp]

DD/lg is definitely NOT about incest. Not in the least.
Those playing with just daddy-kink are also often not into the DD/lg lifestyle.

Well, clearly there’s a lot about that class of fetishes I don’t know about. I just assumed ddlg was literally role playing being a daddy’s daughter. The more I know, I suppose…

 

[Strixaluco]

Well, clearly there’s a lot about that class of fetishes I don’t know about. I just assumed ddlg was literally role playing being a daddy’s daughter. The more I know, I suppose…

One other name for it is caregiver/little. It's about caring and needing to be cared for and the possibility to let the childish side out.

Addition: it's more about a dynamic than a roleplay. Just like D/s. Some lucky ones live it 24/7/365.

 

[johnnyampleed]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

Keep some sex secrets from your SO. But, feel free to share with your fellow perverts here. This allows your Secret Self to breath and grow and gives the rest of us a sense of community that shares.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Keep some sex secrets from your SO. But, feel free to share with your fellow perverts here. This allows your Secret Self to breath and grow and gives the rest of us a sense of community that shares.

Are you saying we are a community of perverts?

And proud of it!

 

[Series 6]

I did when I was married. We were not sexually compatible and basically had a sexless marriage. I have a friend that I hook up with (albeit infrequently) that I feel I can openly tell her what I want to try/experience.

 

[Series 6]

Are you saying we are a community of perverts?

And proud of it!

Hey, if you can't reveal your perversions to your significant other, share it with us! We definitely want to hear about your depraved desires.