Dom/me "Thought of the Day" calendar

[catalina_francisco]

December 7

Drugs are a No for me (in general as I have no interest in the hard stuff and dope doesn't do anything for me so I can't be bothered)

Drinks is another issue. I do not drink while playing, nor in "preparation" for play time, but I will not rule out play after a drink either, meaning:

If I go out for a nice dinner and have a glass or two of wine with it and later in the evening the occassion presents itself for some fun time I will not NOT play because I had a glass of wine earlier in the evening. But just as well will I not hit the afterdinner drinks big time if I know we will be playing later.

Drinking for me is a question of taste and joy, not of getting blasted... no matter if it is in relation to play time or not.

Hecate

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 8

I agree that part of my power comes from my eroticism, but part of my power comes from my college education, my skills, and my willingness to throw punches to the body without landing a guy in the ER.

Netzach

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 9

There is nothing more exciting than the mental rush I get when my slave is helpless before me. Especially since he's 6'5" tall and 230 lbs. and I'm a 5'3" petite little Mistress.

Miss Oatlash

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 10

Looking at this from the Domme perspective, we actually had a scare where I thought I was pregnant with one of our potentials that didn't work out ...

We were open to taking care of the baby, if I had been (which, looking back, I'm very very glad that I wasn't). The sub in question did not want children, did not want to be involved in the life of the potential child at all ... which was actually ok with us, as we had ghosst already, and were looking for another boy (and really didn't want this boy to be involved with us at all, in any way, after getting to know him better ... too bad he didn't show that side of himself until after we started scening/playing with him *sigh*).

With other boys that we have talked to, they have said that they did/did not want to be involved in the lives of any potential children if we didn't work out (we do talk to them about this, because I would like to have a child/children some day). And at this point, we don't have to worry about it, because we only play with our boys - no one else.

And on the flip side - of one of our boys getting someone else pregnant ... not going to happen, because we don't share with anyone but each other.

This is a huge issue, that is life-altering in multiple ways ... but as with anything else, it's mostly a matter of communication.


Miss Karen & Miss Holly

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 11

I don't fear death. I am just not thrilled with the prospect of transitioning to it.

Lilith

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 12

When my boy fails me or disappoints me, we do something that I know he does not like. Panties and eyeliner work wonders with my boy. If he really disappoints me, I bring out the glitter body lotion.
Works everytime.

Goddess Helena

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 13

I could manage ok without them, sure. And I've had some of the best deranged sex/ SM scenes without a single one.

But I'd get really mean and nasty without my Wahl coil vibrator.

Netzach

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 14

As others have said, be polite, be respectful (as much as you would towards any person ... Dom/mes don't deserve extra consideration, no matter what some of them may say - we are all still human), be yourself. And don't fall into the trap of believing when one Dom/me says "all subs must do XX at all times" or "if you want to be taken seriously, you must do/be willing to do XX" - that's bunk, totally and completely, and usually spouted by posers, fakes and HNGs who haven't a clue.

Miss Karen & Miss Holly

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 15

Incidentally I can get fucked and go down and maintain a feeling of control. When someone doesn't have to reconcile control and penetrability, they tend to think no one else is able to make that leap....uh, guess again.

Fair is fair. I look at male Dominants and have to beat back the tendency to paint that whole world with the brush of little boys who need to enforce to feel securely loved, and I know that's not the case.

Always.

Netzach

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 16

Sorry it took me a while to find this, was battling with my desktop puter and its apprently dead power supply.

Anyway- closest I can compare to is a patient that's been roughly intubated during surgury. So its normal for them to cough up minimal amoungs of blood.
That said- the tissue of the throat is very sensitive and very tender. So you don't want to be dumping harsh chemicals on it while its wounded. I'd avoid the chloroseptic sprays for right now untill you're sure its completely healed.
Gargling with salt water may help keep it from becoming infected but don't swallow the saltwater. Not good for you.
Would recommend avoid scratchy things for a few days, like french bread or anything that's very spicy. Don't want to irritate it.

If you're coughing up large clots (chunks) of blood or more then a teaspoon an hour, go see your doctor.
If you start vomiting and there's bright red streaks inside or what looks like coffee grounds, get to Dr now. The coffee ground stuff is dried blood.
Blood in one's stomach normaly makes for a very upset stomach with vomiting and nauesa to follow. Can lead to dehydration as well as running acid over a wound that needs to heal. Not good.

Might want to take it a bit easier in the future, avoiding such trauma to the throat.

Note- I am NOT a doctor, I'm an EMT and AF Medic (yadda yadda yadda to cover myself). So this is my opinion, not medical "must do fact."

Vixandra

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 17

What is it that you REALLY want? And I suggest you step naked in front of a mirror when answering these questions as utter honesty is what is needed here!

Is it admiration you seek?
Is it the wish to be pampered and catered for?
Is it control you want?
Is it the wish to have "the say" in your relation?
Is it the wish to dispose of unwanted tasks and responsibilities?
Is it the exciting sexual stimulation you want?
Is it some "position of power" he holds in your relation that you want to be breached?
Is it ...... ?

As you probably can tell, I am trying to point out the many many many motivations for our desires to take on a dominant role - and I am not declaring any of them wrong or right ... but not for all of them a 24/7 Mistress/slave solution is the answer.

Hecate

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 18

What I admire most about my slave is his untiring dedication to my pleasure. He will do anything I ask, without question and without hesitation. He makes me feel like a Goddess (which, of course, I am!)

Miss Oatlash

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 19

Yes butt plugs do help enormously...even after wearing a plug for 15 to 20 minutes there is a definate advantage in a relaxed spincter muscle.
Enema first...15-20 minute buttplug training...sexual stimulation before being taken anally and the possiblity of a good experience increases ten fold.
you will be amazed at the difference in size from small to medium...it is huge if you are buying the better plugs. Many people never do attain the ability to use the large plugs.

Shadowsdream

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 20

“breaking a sub”

In case you are reading this and don’t know me – I am a Domme (mostly anyway), and a bisexual one as well. (Talk about options here *winks*)

My submissive is more than my pet (oh yes, she is that too but ...) she is my lover and my friend. She is a most precious jewel that I wear in my “crown” - she sparkles and shines from deep within her, has that special glow that I adore about her. Why am I telling you all this?

Because the moment I would “break” her all that would be gone. There is no sparkle in a shattered and chipped diamond!

Breaking a sub – doesn’t it sound horrible (I can kinda hear the bones crack as I imagine a broken spine)?

Hecate

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 21

Personally. I am a dominant Woman...a Domme... but I am not domineering.

I am a combination of cruelty, coldness, decadence, firmess, control, meaness, and sadistic, yes I balance it with caring and nurturing.

I am more Ice than Sun though only those I own feel the Ice and taste the misery that keeps them balancing precariously between heaven and hell.

Role play? Not a chance!

Shadowsdream

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 22

Some Dommes are mean and cruel. Some subs could give them a run for their money in that regard. Some Dommes are so nice and solicitous and kind you can't fathom them ordering anyone around and they have subs who would walk on hot coals for them. Some Dommes drink tea, some eat peanut butter, some are black, some are white, some are fans of the Simpsons and some prefer the color green to pink.

Netzach

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 23

1 - The blindfold is pretty much a must ...
2 - Have your sub draw a bath with scented oils, light candles in the bathroom, and then bathe you by candle-light (assuming, of course, that the bathroom has the space for this ... ours, sadly, does not).
3 - If you are into fetishwear, then go for it - but keep in mind that it's expensive *sigh*
4 - for the mental aspect, buy the biggest, scariest buttplug/dildo the toystore has ... and make sure that your sub sees you getting it out and set up before you put the blindfold on ... but have a smaller one out of sight to use (unless your sub is used to large ... )

um ... out of ideas for the moment ...
Miss Karen & Miss Holly

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 24

I have known Dominants who felt certain acts where "top" acts and others were "bottom" acts.

I have never understood this. If the Dom is in control and desires a raw arse fucking, He or She is still the Dominant.

MissTaken

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 25

I think that since the computer is a poor communicator, there is a tendency to misinterpret meanings. The tendency to to sense an attack, and that means a person will either stay and fight or run and hide. Stronger benign personalities will ask for clarification, while others who are not as secure will feel attacked and get defensive. Then there are the people who are not interested in the forum at all who will jump in to see the fight expand.

That is the nature of free speech. It is up to each individual to look within to examine why they are here in the first place.

I for one, will defend myself if I need to. However, most of the time I will ignore someone if I think they are just trying to jerk my chain. I post my opinions, and I reserve to right to disagree with any and all posters, friends or foe. I am here not to be popular, but to share information about my flavor of D/s.

Ebonyfire

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 26

No one here or in the recent past has engaged in purely chat room like behavior. I think those that try, realize in a short time to confine their fun to one or two threads, or take it somewhere else. Flirting is cool. Fluff is cool. Serious discussion is way cool. Everything is cool in moderation. (Semantics, perhaps?)

Free speech is compatible with BDSM with

a) basic courtesy
b) tolerance for other's differences
c) self control and self discipline

Hmm sounds liek we are heading to a PTA meeting?

MissTaken

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 27

The penis pull

Strong men from all over the world would line up at the starting line on their hands in knees. There would be a chain attached to their genitals. At the other end of the chain, would be a cart with a significant amount of wait. Their Dominants would stand beside them, striking their bottoms to urge them forward. (Riding crops?)

That first one to the finish line, with their weighted cart and their balls in tact, wins.

MissTaken

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 28

Ok, I'm going to be the lone renegade here, but dressing and presentation are very important to me, and I find they become more and more important the more I indulge in these things.

As my bondage becomes more and more sculptural and aesthetic, the whole picture becomes important to me and the visual image a location for pleasure as much as the exchange of power, the sadism, the sexuality.

So what I am wearing DOES matter. What the sub is wearing DOES matter to me. Dressing in femme attire is a masturbatory activity for me. Sometimes my partner and I will dress up and dress one another and that IS the destination, that is the scene, the lacing and layering and the squeezing of feet into high heeled shoes.

Netzach

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 29

In our opinion, honesty is of the utmost importance. We only want unattached submissives, as we want them to live with us, however, we are not opposed to an occational "fling" with a married friend ... BUT the wife must know, we have to have talked with her about it to varify that she understands what is going on and is ok with it, and (as stated before) this must be someone who is already a friend of ours. We aren't interested in random married guys who want to serve us for a day once a month without their wives knowing about it (and yes, we get those idiots all the time).

A D/s relationship is built upon trust, even if it is only a part time relationship - and if you want to find a non-ProDomme who will accept you, you will most likely have to let your wife know about it. First, as heckle said, maybe your wife would be interested in at least trying to dominate you, and second - at least for us - if you are hiding it from your wife, we would always wonder what you were hiding from us ... and we would not be able to trust you.


Miss Karen & Miss Holly

 

[catalina_francisco]

December 30

Lust to play the BDSM games with a curious passion to experiment can be the destruction of the reality that could have been Yours. Soften those eyes for just a moment and be fooled into declaring Your love as Dominance. Give up Your power to compensate anothers view of who they will recreate You to be will undermine your honesty in who You thought You were.
Then ask Yourself why any submissive should or could over time believe in Your control. The power struggle would never end. The strength that was the attraction now becomes no more than what could be found in sex chat or role play. Tie me up...tie me down....roll over... i own You now.
Didn't the submissive/slave choose this lifestyle because he or she NEEDED to give up that control. Now through Your submission to Dominate at their convenience and how they dictate You single handedly have taken their comfort and thrown the control back into their faces...for what? A moment of D/s play couched in the language of love?
Think about it. How can You have it both ways?

Shadowsdream

 

[catalina_francisco]

DECEMBER 31

. when you have the av's turned off.

I used to have them on a while back, in the beginning, when they started to appear. It was fun, and entertaining.

I didn't have one for quite a while, never felt the need or appeal to have one, then changed the design and layout of my web page incorporating the blinking eyes as a part of the color scheme and one of the "identification" points.

I had those since I first started having an av, and will keep them. I have a few little pics sitting on my computer that I contemplated to be avs at some stage, but reduce my av changes now to just a few odd times a year to put up"seasonal greetings", then the eyes return. They are me (not mine though).

Why am I happy with my eyes? they are NOT influencing the way my posts are read (I think). They aren't making me "funny", or "sexy" or "Dominant", they are just eyes that will go with every topic, with every mood. I use them "wherever I go" on the internet, so they are well suited for Hecate to express erotic thoughts as well as anything political, educational or just a little chit-chat about your neighbour's kids and the cat.

This is one of the reasons why I turned the avs off. They did (wanting it or not) change my feel and view about the people and the words in the posts. They influenced my way of "picturing" everyone and their approach to life. And I didn't want that.

I like the internet for the break-up of visual appearance and mental content. So by allowing another "visual" to instill another type of prejudice about a poster's personality doesn't make much sense I figured.

I shall turn the avs back on for a little I guess, just to see "who's who" ... but I am fairly positive I will be back to "non-fancy" quickly.

Hecate