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Feedback circle

Updated list.

Welcome Saharra!

Still catching up on my reading, in the meantime my last two feedbacks have been a bit harsh on the stories, please remember that its only by picking out the faults that feedback can be of help plus they were only MY opinion. Nothing personal against any of you, but we all have to try and improve :)

Bye for now

Cactiphile



Heres an updated list so everyone can keep track:---

Cactiphile - Humour/Satire
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=15768

vgrey - BDSM/Nonconsent
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5715

circe - Non consent
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=8876

Sateema - Allsorts :)
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=21693

SpectreT - Lesbian
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=18914

nitengale - Erotic Couplings
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5765

Ray Dario - L Wives, ECoupling, BDSM
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=7223

MrWizard67 - Group sex, ECoupling, Celebs
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=11298

SpecialK - Romance, Group, ECoupling
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=196

Ask For More - Voyeour/Exb, Group, E Coupling
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=6640

Kat Val-Kyrie - Romance
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=201

CrystallineTears - Non Human
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=22229

Satyn - ECoupling
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=24941

SylviaRockOn - Non consent, Ecoupling
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=12554

cymbidia - BDSM
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=20123

SensitiveSuccubus - Most things :)
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=15559

jadedpast76 - Non Human,Romance, group, Incest
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=4138

Kymberley - Ecoupling, Non consent, Lesbian
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=729

1musicman - BDSM, Ecoupling
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=24705

saharrah - Exh. & Voy.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=25223
 
Hi. I've been dealing with a personal crisis of epic proportions (at least to my small life) and haven't so much as thought of anything approaching erotica for over a week. Though my own creative impulses are still MIA, i'll begin to again read down the list and offer feedback where and how it's appropriate. Sorry for my silence.
cym
 
Hi guys!

The new chapter of Safe from harm should be up tomorrow for those interested.....it's a biggie and i'm hoping for a decent response!

Just a note to sylviarockon: thanks for writing to me but i haven't written back because literotica mail is down so i dont want it to get lost. Have you got another email that i could write to? Same goes to all those who have literotica mail....

And lastly i hope to get back into this soon, hope everyone's benefitting from this so far!

[Edited by Ask For More on 04-17-2001 at 06:22 PM]
 
Thanks for the feedback so far....

I just wanted to say that a few of them were my first tries so to speak :) and hopefully I have improved over time.. ;)


but thanks :)
 
I would really like to thank Cactiphile for generating this thread and for the critique of my story! I have enjoyed the thread a lot so far and your criticisms were well taken and really to the point. When I read your comments and went back to the story, I could immediately see what you were talking about. Now I want to re-work it with some of that in mind. When I get into a story that feels hot to me, I get more into it as it unfolds under my fingers, then I start to lose it on things like run-ons and sentence structure since I am deeply into the movie, you have been there I am sure! So a big thanks on both counts!
 
Alone

I was just scanning the list for someone else to give feedback to when it hit me like a wet catfish across the forehead.

I'm the only writer here who writes in the "Loving Wives" catagory. What's up with that? Doesn't everyone find the idea of a cute little nubial bride sneaking off for some extramarital calisthenics as erotic as I do? Oh yeah, of course not, but still ...

Oh well, just doing a little midnight ranting as my mind searches madly for any reason not to finish the story I'm supposed to be working on.

Ray
 
One is the lonliest number...

Ray, maybe we're all so in awe of your proven talents in this category that we can't bear to timidly push our little efforts into your limelight? Or, maybe we find these stories erotic but just can't write it like the pros (you) do. Oh. Gee. That's the same thing, isn't it?

You're just too good in that category, Big Guy. You own it!
thumb.gif
 
Re: feedback,new writer

saharrah said:
as it is i read alot of other people's stories and would not mind at all posting what i think of them.
Click to expand...
Hi and welcome saharrah and you don't have to post your feedback.

Most of the feedback goes from one person to another via email, no public posting necessary. Just so you know, there's a little hitch in the Lit email sys at the moment, so there's more public posting going on than usual.
 
RE: One is the lonliest number

Cymbidia;

Was that sarcasm? I am far from a Pro, I just write my little stories in hopes that they will provide a little, ahem, excitement, into the lives of others and I far from own the category. If anyone holds that illustrious position it would have to be English Bob. He is a true master and I just a small and trivial grasshopper in his shadow.

You, on the other hand, understand the Dom/sub relationship so well and write about it with such clarity that I quiver in insignificance before you. No sarcasm here, just the naked truth.

Oh well back to writing. I have another story to finish and maybe this time I'll make it into the top ten on the top lists. :)

Ray
 
Re: RE: One is the lonliest number

Ray Dario said:
Was that sarcasm? I am far from a Pro, I just write my little stories in hopes that they will provide a little, ahem, excitement, into the lives of others and I far from own the category. If anyone holds that illustrious position it would have to be English Bob. He is a true master and I just a small and trivial grasshopper in his shadow.
Click to expand...
No Ray, no! No sarcasm at all. Honestly. I try to avoid sarcasm on the BB except with people i KNOW will get it as sarcasm. Even then i often sorta quiver and quake and procrastinate about posting it. This faceless BB type of place doesn't really lend itself to the sort of dry biting sarcastic humor i employ so successfully in my day-to-day life, damn it, so i most often simply play it straight. (Here. Only here will i admit to straightness.)

I honestly feel great admiration for your writing skills and for the warm professionalism you offer the reader in the crafting of your stories. You sure sound(ed) like a pro to me! However, now that i know differently, i'll not saddle you with the term ever again, okay? ;)
 
Re: RE: One is the lonliest number

Ray Dario said:
No sarcasm here, just the naked truth.
Click to expand...
Naked?
~quivering with... ahem... curiosity~
 
Drat, I didn't even notice this thread, now don't I feel like a blithering idiot? What a wonderful idea cactiphile!

I will join, if there is no problem, but I must add a caveat. I do editing here and I know for a fact that I'm sometimes considered rather, er, mean in my phrasing sometimes. I don't couch constructive criticism with platitudes. Some people cannot seperate themselves from their creations and I don't want this to lead to hurt feelings.

I also have a suggestion for cactiphile. Edit your first post and put the updated list in it. Everytime someone adds themselves to the thread you can just update that list, it's very easy.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1832

If you wanna, you can put [url="http://www.literotica.com/the rest of the link]Author's name[ /url] if you wanna make more work for yourself. Just leave out that space between [ / ;)
 
Hold the feedback for just a day or so please

I don't know if anyone is sending me feedback or not right now. I have made a tragic error. I got involved in a very hot debate over abortion and apparently was not gentle enough in posting my opinion. right now I have over a thousand unread emails in my inbox (I am deleting them as quickly as I can but they keep rolling in) I can no longer take the time to read them so I am just deleting them a page at a time. It takes time to clear them out though, so please don't send me feedback for the day or so, I will post a note here when I get it cleared out.

Thanks

Ray
 
KillerMuffin said:
Drat, I didn't even notice this thread, now don't I feel like a blithering idiot? What a wonderful idea cactiphile!

I will join, if there is no problem, but I must add a caveat. I do editing here and I know for a fact that I'm sometimes considered rather, er, mean in my phrasing sometimes. I don't couch constructive criticism with platitudes. Some people cannot seperate themselves from their creations and I don't want this to lead to hurt feelings.
Click to expand...

KM, although you have never reviewed any of my stories personally, I have read your reviews of others writers works in places here, and have the reviews to be insightful and very helpful. I think you'd be a welcome addition to this circle :)
 
KillerMuffin said:
I will join, if there is no problem, but I must add a caveat. I do editing here and I know for a fact that I'm sometimes considered rather, er, mean in my phrasing sometimes. I don't couch constructive criticism with platitudes. Some people cannot seperate themselves from their creations and I don't want this to lead to hurt feelings.
Click to expand...

Oh this is such a load of pure unadulterated bullshit!!!!!!!!

KM is a great editor. She's honest and particular and *very* thorough. She's got an eye for what rings true and an ear for what will be understood by the average Lit reader. She *never* gets bent if you refuse her advice but always gives it wholeheartedly and with the utmost professionalism.

I'm never gonna have anyone else but her edit my kinky bent stuff. (Bet that just warms the cockles of your heart, hmm. KM?)
 
Wow, we have the excellent Killer Muffin in our circle now as well. Now we're going places :)

I feel so humble now!
 
Back in business

Okay, I have my mailbox cleaned out. It turns out that it was just one person sending the same email over and over and over again. Made it much easier for me to clean out. I do wonder how he/she sent them so fast?

Oh well I have learned my lesson. I will continue to give feedback to the wonderful people in this group but never again will I be involved in "issue" posting. No sir, keeping my hated conservative opinion to myself from now on.

Anyway I am back in business so anyone wishing to send me feedback can now do so.

Thanks to everyone here, and a special thanks to Cactiphile for starting this circle. I nominate him for the Literotica Person of the Year prize!!!

Ray
 
feedback

First off, I want to thank everyone who has sent me feedback on my story. They were all very helpful. However, they were all on the same story. :-(
" The Encounter"

So if another circle member decides to give me feedback, please, please, please pick another story. :)
 
Um. My keyboard isn't golden and I have to boot up by pressing the on button just like everyone else.

The reason you're probably having the Encounter done so often is that it's the only 1 part story you have Mr. Wizard. It's easier.
 
Thanks KM
That thought had crossed my mind. Perhaps I should have mentioned that each part of the two parters can stand alone. You can read either part two without having read part one, without any significant loss. As I said before, I truly appreciate everyones help. If what I said came off as a complaint, I'm sorry. It was unintentional.

Oh, and as of today, there is another one part story here.

One last thing KM, My last post was NOT directed at or because of you.

[Edited by mrwizard67 on 04-23-2001 at 09:25 PM]
 
:) No problem Mr. Wizard, the first part of my post wasn't directed at you either. The last was, just trying to be helpful!
 
long thread at odds with short attention span!

Whew, A girl goes away for a few days and misses all the fun. Welcome to the new additions to the circle. I've been trying to catch up with my reading and feedback. Email being down was a pain... some of us started another thread with some public posting which was fun. Thanks for those of you who've sent me feedback via email or on the BB. I really appreciate it.

Ray Dario
SpectreT
You Have Mail...

Also, Ask For More, I noticed you had asked me about an alternate email, but I think since email is up we've conversed, just wanted to check...
Sylvia
 
Re: my storys

saharrah said:
Hi, I am new here, but very interested in getting a little feed back on my stories.I would really like to hear anything I could improve on.I did get one e mail of posative feed back on the series, and i would like to say thankyou very much for responding.

Saharrah
Click to expand...

You have no email, so I will post feedback here for you...
---------


Just a note or two on your story "Trying New things Ch. 1"

You show good potential as a writer! I would however like to point out that you should make attempts to combine some of your sentences. Some are too short and combining them would make for a smoothier read. Watch your spelling errors and how you use the quotation marks.

Your work:

Friday morning had finally rolled around, the day of there departure, Mike called Angel at home, 'hey sweety, i'll be there in 20 min ok?

And can I put in a request? Sure " Angel replied.

Well, I want you to wear a short skirt, with no panties and black stockings, thigh highs, .. I want to be able to touch your soft naked pussy when ever I want too he told her. God baby! Just hearing you say that makes me sooo wet, of course I well do that for you! Ok lover, see you in 20 min.

Corrections:

Friday morning had finally rolled around, the day of their departure, and Mike called Angel at home. "Hey Sweety, I'll be there in 20 min, okay? And can I put in a request?" (You might try rewording this differently) And I have a request."

"Sure." Angel replied. (You don't even have to identify that this is Angel talking as we know that)

"Well, I want you to wear a short skirt, with no panties and black stockings, the thigh highs, I love. I want to be able to touch your soft naked pussy when ever I want to." He told her.

"God baby! Just hearing you say that makes me sooo wet. Of course I will do that for you! Okay lover, see you in 20 min."

The dialog gets quotes and pulled away to stand on it's own.

I hope this helps! Keep up the good work! I'm going to read the remaining chapters when I get time :) YOu might also consider using one of the volunteer editors here :) They are extremely helpful!! :)


[Edited by nitengale on 04-25-2001 at 01:49 PM]
 
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