Feeling sad

[Farawyn]

I'm immature. I like that kind of stuff.

But if you ask me to, Elle, I'll stop.

Love you.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

I have checked all posts from DVS from the year 2016. There have been two threads from other regulars - this one here and Marquis' thread - where it was about how they and this place changed. He didn't start those threads. You "Year 2016" people started asking questions and requesting opinions and DVS gave them. Outside of these two threads I can't find a single posting from 2016 where DVS said anything bad about a newcomer or this place. I challenge you to prove me wrong.

Well hi there. I'm not entirely sure I understand your point in all of this. I was speaking specifically about the things said in this thread, more specifically, the attitude taken towards the current community and invalidation/ignoring/back pedaling I've observed. I don't care if this is the first, or hundred first time he did or didn't say anything, the fact remains that this little pity party keeps finding it's way back up to the top of the board, which means it IS how he feels right now. Past comments, good or bad, mean nothing. So again, what exactly is it you are challenging me about?

So what is actually YOUR problem? You are whining like he would prance around and spew bile all over this place. Can't stand the heat of three or four people talking about the past in two threads specifically about the past? Are you crying because you didn't read the opinion you liked? Then get the fuck out of the kitchen.

Lol, you're silly. Are you not up on your phonics and comprehension? I never said he was spewing bile all over, merely that loudly talking about how much better this place used to be is insulting to those that currently occupy it, regardless of intent, and continuing to do so only drives that point home. The heat? There's no heat here, I see nothing other than the chill of some misplaced bitterness over " The way we were ", cue Streisand.

Oh yes, I'm ever so tore up inside because faceless people on the internet were being big meanies with differing opinions. Again, put on your glasses and sound out the words if you have to, I wasn't talking about opinions ( everyone is entitled ), I was sick of clicking on this and seeing people try and reason or offer different opinions ( including yours ) in a place that was being presided over by a wall that only seems to want to be coddled and begged to stay for the benefit of its own ego. That's my opinion. Did it make YOU cry?

" Get the fuck out of the kitchen."
That's good, I've got one of those too.
" People in glass houses who paraphrase clichéd sayings then marvel at what they perceive as their own wit, may feel free to shampoo my dog's crotch, because that's about all the consideration they're worth."

I can ante up any game.

Bwahahaha! You're adorable!
Big blind, small blind, Domino, Canasta, Blackjack, Bingo, Yahtzee!
Words are fun.

Elle is right though, and I don't come here to waste my time doing this, nor do I wish others to view me as always spoiling. This ship needs to sink, fast. Hopefully it does. I'm all done in here, all yours now. Do as you like.

 

[cascadiabound]

I would argue that posts in this thread are an object lesson in 3 things

1) there is something still happening on this board that is open enough to prompt MrT to make a post regarding his wonderings and new explorations.

2) posters (DVS and Elle) both took his posts seriously and engaged him in serious ways that are exactly the way I hope we would treat newcomers and anyone who is seeking information and knowledge about BDSM.

3) It doesn't take much to derail a thread. For posters to get a bit crosswise with each other or have a comment feel more whiny or more snarky than was probably intended by the author.


To the extent I can encourage anyone around here... because I believe that points one and two are the best of us... I would suggest we all try to tamp down on the things that push us around in the world of point #3.

These boards are my Lit home... some of my favorite people in the world are here. Sometimes some of you make me crazy and make me roll my eyes... but on balance... because we are all human and a community, I trust that we will make each other better by our interactions.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I used to love coming here and talking to everyone about everything kinky. I felt as if we were a family of sorts.
I look at the names these days and don't really know anyone... even the ones I used to know.
My life is flying these days, I work 7 days a week in two different jobs. One requires me to work 10 hour shifts.
I want to belong here, maybe even need to, but I don't feel like I do anymore. Does anyone else ever have these feelings of not belonging someplace that used to feel like home?

Do I ever feel like an outsider? Yeah. I do sometimes. In my mind however, it is easier to troll the waters (as in check things out) than to wait for things to happen.

I don't share things easily. I prefer to keep as private as I can. It is only when I am in an environment where I feel accepted enough that I let my guard down, but a little bit. I have been burned before when I was too open and those scars still remain.

Fara has only been my friend for a short time. It was her that led me here because I consider her one of my girls. This means she is one of my friends and I was coming in here to see what she liked about here and I met some really cool people. That's how Lit should be. You step out of your comfort zone and people accept you for who you are.

Many of the old faces are gone. I left for three years for personal reasons. I came back to see new faces. It was a decision whether to leave Lit behind or see who was around and make friends. I made new friends and some old ones caught up with me.

You need to make the decision that is best for you. I cannot sway your opinion because your opinion is a valid one. Maybe you feel like you don't belong. That's okay because we were all there at one time or another. The big thing is maybe you need to venture out a bit. Check out some different places you never went to before. You may be surprised. If you still feel that way, you need to do what is best for you.

I offer hugs just in case, but hope the OP of this thread finds her happiness. And the same goes for anyone else reading this post.

 

[Farawyn]

Do I ever feel like an outsider? Yeah. I do sometimes. In my mind however, it is easier to troll the waters (as in check things out) than to wait for things to happen.

I don't share things easily. I prefer to keep as private as I can. It is only when I am in an environment where I feel accepted enough that I let my guard down, but a little bit. I have been burned before when I was too open and those scars still remain.

Fara has only been my friend for a short time. It was her that led me here because I consider her one of my girls. This means she is one of my friends and I was coming in here to see what she liked about here and I met some really cool people. That's how Lit should be. You step out of your comfort zone and people accept you for who you are.

Many of the old faces are gone. I left for three years for personal reasons. I came back to see new faces. It was a decision whether to leave Lit behind or see who was around and make friends. I made new friends and some old ones caught up with me.

You need to make the decision that is best for you. I cannot sway your opinion because your opinion is a valid one. Maybe you feel like you don't belong. That's okay because we were all there at one time or another. The big thing is maybe you need to venture out a bit. Check out some different places you never went to before. You may be surprised. If you still feel that way, you need to do what is best for you.

I offer hugs just in case, but hope the OP of this thread finds her happiness. And the same goes for anyone else reading this post.

*pets your scaly blue wings*
Love ya, Dragon.
So glad you ventured back here.

 

[Azuldrgon]

*pets your scaly blue wings*
Love ya, Dragon.
So glad you ventured back here.

That's what I do.

 

[Azuldrgon]

sorry... KC hasn't posted in half a year. I hope she finds her happiness too.

I think I remember you, but my memory remains notoriously unreliable. Welcome back.

I agree that to attribute one time as having been better is insulting to the present.

but I do appreciate the need to memorialize those posters we miss.

Thank you, sir.

 

[Farawyn]

Love to you, Staggy.

I love my girls, and the "batch" who started with me, but it was you guys who have been here and embraced us that made me comfy.

I have so many questions on my journey, and I love the love here, so I'm not going anywhere.
We talk, us newbs. We are close. I know I can speak for us when I say how much you oldbies that opened the door and handed us a beer meant to us.
Thanks, friend.

 

[Blue]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Blue]

...

I guess it bears saying again that I am always sincere. Sometimes I change my mind, but I fluff, but I fluff sincerely. I diverse group of people means getting people who approach life differently. I cannot pin waves upon the sand and most of the time have accepted the redundancy of trying to. Instead I listen to seashells or beachcomb and swim too far from th shore . I understand this can be frustrating to those who actually want to fish or play volleyball and swim where we are meant to or something. But the beach is a big place. I cannot even talk in straight lines usually.

I get how Primalex feels now!
While he's just trying to play volleyball on the beach, this thing comes barging through:

I can see why beachgoers might be a little peeved.

 

[seela]

I get how Primalex feels now!
While he's just trying to play volleyball on the beach, this thing comes barging through:

I can see why beachgoers might be a little peeved.

It's not just Primalex who feels that way. I feel the same, and I've been posting less and less, and especially less and less anything meaningful.

And even in the cafe I think I feel uncomfortable posting a lot of the time, because the conversations and jokes from the most prolific posters cross threads and go on for a long time and I don't feel comfortable posting in the middle of all that. Especially when there are lots of references to stuff that's been discussed off Lit, over the phone and such, and it becomes clear that it really is a group of friends talking like in a cafe, posting my stuff in between all that feels pointless and a bit rude.

That's my issue entirely, because I realize it's possible to have several discussions going on at once and me posting my stuff isn't really rude at all but rather exactly how the board works.

Lit hasn't felt like my place for quite a while now, but I keep trying because of the nostalgia I guess.

 

[seth6138]

All things change to remain the same.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[StrangeView]

Purleeze, that's the local bdsm club.

This is me:

Hi Elle, had to chime in; what a bizarrely erotic image!!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[seela]

Between old lit friends old jokes resurface that probably mean little to newbies, is it so different? I know some of them are Facebook friends and so on, and I think that's WONDERFUL. It's networking and interconnectedness and I am happy for them. I am not on facebook and have not spoken on the phone with ANYONE, oh, I almost did with butters from GB, but my phone was switched off. I do email some litsters, would with some more, and one litster and I have recently started exchanging recorded messages .....like email or voicemails. Mine mainly consist of me giggling and saying um.

I remember collar explaining one old joke to me. And it slotted into place but didn't change my life, and I have never worried about others. It's part of what bonds the 'oldies' .


I miss People too, bibunny, so different to me but one of the best inspirations in the world, who cannot be inspired by her? ( plus she is beautiful in face and spirit) Irisalthea I mourn for quietly. I am sad MWY posts less. Furry and grace, Cumference never posts enough, and desert slave started slipping away after her arm break. but while I might miss them, like I will not say to Far, stop it, but I can say...I don't like it to everyone, I cannot keep them here.

The transience is natural I guess, but also says to me that there is a romance attached to the steadfastness of bdsm community that is....just as romance as much other misconception.

I missed you while you were away seela. I care for you.

I did not come here to find friends I loved. But I did.

Yes, jokes happen and it's natural. Making friends happens and it's natural and kinda the point of a site like this.

I was just explaining why I don't feel so comfortable posting even on cafe anymore. I'm not a part of that group of friends and I could never be, because I'm much too serious and such rapid posting and joking is exhausting to me. So, because I'm not a part of that group, I often feel like I'm somehow intruding if I post in the middle of their thread crossing conversations, so I post less and in only a very few threads. Even though logically I know that is not true, it often does feel that way.

Change is natural and I'm not at all complaining or saying others must post per my guidelines or comfort levels or whatever. I post when and what I feel comfortable and when I no longer do so, I'll disappear like many others before me. That's the normal life cycle of all discussion boards I've ever been a part of. Incidentally, conversations like this also seem to be a part of the normal life cycle of all discussion boards I've ever been a part of.

I've never really been a PMing kind of person, so there's only very few people who I've really connected with here on any other level than just posting on threads. I'm glad I still have contact with a few of the people who have moved on.

I think Iris won't mind me telling that she's doing good and we're gonna finally meet. Plane tickets have been booked and all. Bunny is busy but doing ok as well.

 

[StrangeView]

And you are a reason I hate making lists. I know I have missed people off a list. Lists are potentially hurtful.

Fata found it for me once. she suggested it as an AV.

Never worry about me Elle, I'm like a bad penny; I always show up eventually . I am guilty of not being around as much lately and neglecting my old haunts, I just got wrapped up in some other stuff, and the time seemed to disappear .

I promise to make more effort

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[seela]

No, I know you are far from a whiner.

I am glad I have had pm contact with you, I feel a little special now
But you have contact with people I consider dear, in a way these 'young' uns' have together. . I am glad for all of you, I just ....not sure I see a difference, apart from how it feels to you which I accept is different and I don't belittle that feeling. Please know I smile with joy when after our aside you were more present here. I would love if you left we could stay in touch a little. I accept it with no guilt for you it if you do do not want though.



Please give them both my love! I am excited you and iris will finally meet! have a wonderful time!

Actually even with the old timers I've often felt uncomfortable posting when a group that knows each other well have had their conversations. I've never really had a group like that here, because I'm not really a social butterfly, I take a very long time to form an attachment to people and like I mentioned, I am kinda serious. I have always had friends here, but not really a group as such.

And that's fine by me, I don't really have a group of friends even IRL. They're all separate entities and very few of them know each other. I just don't do group dynamics very well.

So in a way nothing has changed, except the pool here has gotten significantly smaller, so there is less chatter kind of around the most prolific posters, which probably is why I feel a bit more uncomfortable posting amidst it all sometimes.

Once again, I want to say that these are my issues and not something that others need to worry about. Like you pointed out, it's not that much different from how it's always been in that respect.

I get PM notifications on email so even when I'm on a hiatus from Lit, PMs find their way to me and I do come by to read and reply to them. I just don't read the board.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Azuldrgon]

I never know who knows each other especially from different boards. .

I find the strict board tribe thing a little...not me. These boards are certainly my home here, but I know I am an oddity here for enjoying some aspects of GB. I like that there is some crossover, mission and deep gets everywhere . And Pete is posting here a little and I think of as a GBer, poet was both. There are more Pete who seem to be BDSMers in GB than there are here as regulars really. A couple of very good picture threads , oh skinny skinner is posting on some of those, so he is straddling the two. And there are often ( derogatory ) references to people 'bruising titties' or some such. I am not sure how much is real and how much is GB bluster, but it's a shame some of those posters aren't contributers here.

I think it's true, our smallness, while cosy, is not to our benefit.

When I first came to Lit, I was on the GB only. I perused the Ampics a little, but never strayed until a friend led me to the PG. I have been a PG'er ever since, especially since I loved the environment there more. Now I almost never go to the GB. I came to this forum here because of Fara. I do like it here as well even if I do not post here as much.

It's just the nature of Lit really. I am happy of the folks I have met here and love seeing your interactions with each other even if I feel a bit outside sometimes.

 

[Misshotndeep]

I travel all over. Damn near every part of the thread has some post from me. The cliqueish thing that has been mentioned here is normal human behavior. People want to belong. They form groups with people they perceive as being like them or they want to be like.
You guys think you feel like an outsider? I don't have a clique or an board affiliation. I don't want them either! I am literally, the site tumbleweed. lol No rest for the wicked I guess. Try not to over think your time here and just enjoy what is on offer.