Female Authors

[Pookie]

Re: Thanks for the warm welcome

Pookie

Thank you very much for ur warm welcome. Hopefully ill find some one to help me out .

thanks once again
cheers

Sorry if I ran you over with the welcome wagon before.


Pookie

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

Re: Re: Re: i didnt post this to play cyber grab ass

The last time this lot started off on a newbie he got in a right piss & threw his toys out of the pram

This is going to have me giggling for weeks. I love this! I can almost hear Vinny Jones spouting it out. Ah, such a beautifual language.

May I quote you?

Muffie wants to quote little old me? Well, erm, of course you can, KM!

(can I put quoted by KillerMuffin in my sigline?)

ax

 

[MathGirl]

I told you so!

But i would like to get to know u as an aquantance at first cuz im fairly new around here may be u could show the the ropes and in's and outs ???

"Ropes and in's and out's?" If that's not a blatant request for cyber perversion, my name isn't Du... um .... Mat ...... Buffie.

 

[Guest]

english please

DG-

MG-

Please translate for this OLD lady.

b

 

[gauchecritic]

Fuck the cyber grab-arse I say we all meet up somewhere and erm... stand around looking embarrassed knowing exactly what goes through everyone's mind who has the imagination and/or temerity to post on Lit.

Gauche

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Fuck the cyber grab-arse I say we all meet up somewhere and erm... stand around looking embarrassed knowing exactly what goes through everyone's mind who has the imagination and/or temerity to post on Lit.

Gauche

Oxygene???

Svenskaflicka
Official Lit Blonde

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: Re: Re: Re: i didnt post this to play cyber grab ass

This is going to have me giggling for weeks. I love this! I can almost hear Vinny Jones spouting it out. Ah, such a beautifual language.

May I quote you?

Muffie wants to quote little old me? Well, erm, of course you can, KM!

(can I put quoted by KillerMuffin in my sigline?)

ax [/QUOTE]

Of course! If you really want to.

 

[MathGirl]

KM's avathingie

Dear KM,
Your new AV looks like an electroencephalogram. It also looks like the patient received a blow to the head or had an orgasm.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

It's called "blowjob" or "giving head", MG. Not "blow to the head".

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: KM's avathingie

Dear KM,
Your new AV looks like an electroencephalogram. It also looks like the patient received a blow to the head or had an orgasm.
MG

Well, you're half right. It's my electroencephalogram and the patient was having a mild abcense seizure. Technicians reported the patient asked them if she were in Pennsylvania. She was in Sandy Eggo at the moment. The resulting neurological interview was conducted in Korean.

I thought I might go with a picture of myself for a change. Sexy, huh?

 

[MathGirl]

Huh?

Originally posted by KillerMuffin The resulting neurological interview was conducted in Korean.

Dear Muffie,
I stuck with it until the above sentence. That flang me off into outer space. Could you possibly clarify that?
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Huh?

Dear Muffie,
I stuck with it until the above sentence. That flang me off into outer space. Could you possibly clarify that?
MG

It's a spelling error, MG. I think she means Cowrean. You know, the language cows speak.

You have heard that R.E.M. - song "Mooh Mooh Land", haven't you?

 

[MathGirl]

100 proof

It's a spelling error, MG. I think she means Cowrean. You know, the language cows speak.

Have you been at the Aquavit again, Svenska?
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't underschtand wayou're talkinabout there..?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: Huh?

Dear Muffie,
I stuck with it until the above sentence. That flang me off into outer space. Could you possibly clarify that?
MG

The visit with the neurologist was done in Korean. He was married to a Korean woman and I was in Korean language class.

I liked him.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Huh?

The visit with the neurologist was done in Korean. He was married to a Korean woman and I was in Korean language class.

Dear Muffie,
This may sound stupid, but umm.... wouldn't a neuro exam be more useful if you totally and completely understood what the neurologist was saying? I mean, like in English? Or are you as good at Korean as Svenska is at English?
MG

Let's see....... absence seizures ....... Dilantin? Valproate? Depakote?

 

[sweetnpetite]

Are male authors somehow less qualified as writers because they lack the ability to ovulate? I never truly understood the whole notion. Some of the best writers around here have a penis. Real ones even, not the store-bought kind.

MystifiedMuffie

Yes.

But wheather you agree with that or not, I think that male or female authors of sex stories consulting with an author of the opposite sex produces the best stories. Even if the story isn't told from the authors oposing gender, it still usually involves both male and female characters.

 

[Just-Legal]

Re: Re: i didnt post this to play cyber grab ass

As we say in da UK, nuff respek ;-) Enjoy your stay here.

Oi! You forgot the t!

Anyway, I live in Yorkshire, we don't say that here *grins*

((Anyone caught basing their opinion of Yorkshire folk on Emmerdale will be taken out into the street and shot by a pissed off farmer...))

 

[MathGirl]

Hmmmm.........

it still usually involves both male and female characters.

What a daring, novel concept!
mG

 

[gauchecritic]

Re: Re: Re: i didnt post this to play cyber grab ass

((Anyone caught basing their opinion of Yorkshire folk on Emmerdale will be taken out into the street and shot by a pissed off farmer...))

It's much worse than that J-L they're basing their opinions of Yorkshire folk on me.

Miserable, sarcastic, big-headed and most of all

gauche.

As I've said before and will repeat here "Tha can allus tell a Yorkshireman... but not much"

 

[gauchecritic]

On this and another thread about dialects try this:
`YORKSHIRE' AS IT IS SPOKE: AN INTRODUCTORY EXERCISE.

1. Intitot?
2. Shizeer!
3. Summatsupeer.
4. Thamungerritettn!
5. Gerrimteld
6. Supwithee?
7. Smarraweeim?
8. Ianpgorritonme!
9. Azeeginiter?
10. Geeituz mester ey?
II. Eez. gooinoam
12. Ahsthimum?
13. Worartyevin?
14. Asta gorrit withy?
15. Purremineer.
16. Ayampt eared nowt.
17. Thalafta gerra noowun.
18. Eesesitintinit burraberritiz.
19. Lerrus gerrus andzwesht!
20. Sumonems gorragerroffnah
21. Gizzitngerrahtvit.
22. Shintin thanose.
23. Shtthigob thee!
24. Owzeeno eb?
25. Aberritinters
26. Nahthenthee, wothadooin?
27. Asta seenim onttelly?
28. Corferus ahfpastate intmornen
29. It dunt marrer areight lot.
30. Lerrus gurret pichers.
31. Astagorratanner?
32. Eenose naht abartit.
33. Eez gunnagerra lorra lolly ferit
34. Letter gerroftbus!
35. Eedursant purrized underwatter!
36. Eesesee antaddit.
37. Oowurriwee? Wurriwiweeiszen?
38. Ateldim burreewunt lissn.
39. Lerrim puttizaton.
40. Assl clowtthee ifthadunt gioer!
41. Tintintin,
42. Gerarry tergithi andweeit.
43. Eez gorrum atooam.
44. Weers gaffer gonta?
45. Midads gorrajag.
46. Thakkan eftha wantsta.
47, Cantha cumtowerows tuneet?
48. Thwanster weshthi earoils aht!
49. Tantad nowt dunnatit asanose on.
50. Weev gorragerrus imbux.

You may wish to score yourself on how many of the phrases you can work out:

No phrases understood: you're probably a martian
1-10 phrases understood: get back to the soft south
22-25 phrases understood: thinking of settling are you?
26-40 phrases understood: tha's frum rahnd ear inttha?
41-50 phrases understood: time thawarofta yorkshire cock!!

Gauche

 

[Octavian]

English, but not as we know it.

I have had a go at the first 25, Gauche, but I can't get number 19.

1 It is rather hot. It is at times like this one wishes one wasn’t wearing a collar and tie.
2 The lady in question has graced us by her presence.
3 Something has happened, quite what I know not.
4 You have to clear that plate before you can have any more tripe and onions.
5 Kindly inform him what has transpired.
6 Are you inviting me to have lunch with you?
7 What is irking that gentleman?
8 Bother and Damnation! I have forgotten it!
9 Is that gentleman going to hit that lady?
10 I quite agree, my man, what!
11 He is returning to his dwelling.
12 Interrogate Mater.
13 From whence have you come?
14 Is the aforementioned article on your person?
15 Place them in this receptacle
16 I have heard nothing
17 You will have to spend some of what you call your 'brass' and purchase a new appliance.
18 He says it isn’t in it. But I believe otherwise. I would even go so far as to lay a wager!
19
20 Some of the passengers alight at this stop.
21 Kindly hand it over and then bugger off.
22 The lady of the house is not at home.
23 Kindly desist from any form of communication.
24 On what basis does Ebenezer make that deduction?
25 I’ll wager those articles do not belong to the lady.

Octavian

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

Re: Re: Re: i didnt post this to play cyber grab ass

Oi! You forgot the t!

Anyway, I live in Yorkshire, we don't say that here *grins*

((Anyone caught basing their opinion of Yorkshire folk on Emmerdale will be taken out into the street and shot by a pissed off farmer...))

Sorry J-L, allow me to clarify. What I should have said was:

Originally posted whilst under the influence of alcohol and mind-altering chemicals
As we say in Bristol, Alroit moi luverr!

And in response to the 'soft south' comment - us bristolians are nuff hard. Shame about the rest of the south, admittedly, but us doozers definately make up for it.

ax

 

[CharleyH]

Help response

Love to help - and understand. I, myself am working on a story from two different character perspectives. Males and females have different perspectives on sex. I am trying to write my story through two female perspectives, one slightly more butch than the other. Being neither completely masculine, nor completely feminine, I find it a challenge. If I needed help from a male perspective, I would want it - to lend credibility to what men feel, think about sex. Being bi-natured, I can transcend on multi-levels - I am best at semiotics, metaphors, symbols, etc. - ask what you will!

 

[MathGirl]

Good Grief!

Males and females have different perspectives on sex.

Dear Charley,
Sorry to take that out of context, but it's such a novel concept that I had to take it out and play with it a little. Wait 'til the girls at my tea club hear about this!!
MG