lizard_lix
Pan Pervert
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2012
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- 7
Because they know that they are going up some guy's ass!
What is that in your shirt pocket?
What is that in your shirt pocket?
Filthy answers to innocent questions.
- Thread starter MargotPayge
- Start date
Lilianna23
Virgin
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- Aug 19, 2023
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- 6,020
BlueEyes1969
Blue Eyes 1969
- Joined
- May 8, 2023
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- 1,400
No. I like the speedos at the pool!
Why do people eat broccoli?
Why do people eat broccoli?
Lilianna23
Virgin
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- Aug 19, 2023
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- 6,020
bbcbarry9033
Perv
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2014
- Posts
- 591
nerdboy1000
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2022
- Posts
- 48
Every year is the year of the dragon for me. I've measured.
Why can't penguins fly?
InCNCestBangPie
BDSM Metamorphosis
- Joined
- May 14, 2023
- Posts
- 568
Common misconception. They can fly, initially. During mating season, the male penguins absolutely blow the backs out of the females, creating a strain on the muscles needed to flap. So, the females remain land bound & their mates do too out of solidarity.
How to fix foot pain?
How to fix foot pain?
Tio_Narratore
Studies
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- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 74,848
Fix it? C'mon! Pain is the whole idea of bastinado!
Why did Zeus cover Danaë with a shower of gold?
Biggalute
Goldilocks
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2018
- Posts
- 8,407
He was an ancient relative of DT and we all know about little Donny and his golden showers.
What makes some people blue?
Seadog777
American Man
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2021
- Posts
- 4,956
When your wife or girlfriend, comes out wearing a FMD with CFMH, and you gotta sit through dinner and pretend to be normal in public.
Why is a walk in the park, so relaxing???
nerdboy1000
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2022
- Posts
- 48
When your wife or girlfriend, comes out wearing a FMD with CFMH, and you gotta sit through dinner and pretend to be normal in public.
Why is a walk in the park, so relaxing???
Because everyone loves being nude in the glorious sunlight.
Where did I live my spike-heeled shoes?
bbcbarry9033
Perv
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2014
- Posts
- 591
Oh man, this happened to me and fairly recently too. I used to do it decades ago when I was younger and less foolish but the oppertunity presented and I couldn't resist. It was near dusk but not cold at all. I left my car, not thinking straight but knowing full well what I was going to do. I got to an area of deep shadows and a slight dip in the ground, shucked my clothes and had a nice slow wank right there. Then I just stood there hperventilating like a fiend. I never went soft. I could not only feel but hear the blood pounding in my dick! I felt breezy tickle fingers on every important part of my body. It was good.When your wife or girlfriend, comes out wearing a FMD with CFMH, and you gotta sit through dinner and pretend to be normal in public.
Why is a walk in the park, so relaxing???
I stood there for as long as I could then stepped out. It was almost fully dark by then and I started walking. I was still painfully hard and it felt like my dick was pre-cumming with every fucking step I took! I had trouble staying upright my knees were tempting to buckle, I was so light headed. I made it all the way to a giant tree with some kind of plaque in front of it and lights. Still heaving, trembling slightly, cum and precum all over the underside of my dick and balls and upper thighs, I put my forehead against the tree and stood there. My arms didn't exist. Just my hand squeezing my dick forcing all of my feelings and my soul into the nerve endings at the base of my dickhead. For some reason, I don't know how or why, the tip of my cock was now on the rough tree, angled slightly up. That little knot of skin, the man-clit below my pee slit scraped on the tree once (I think it was only once). I came hard, really, really hard and I passed the fuck out!
If that's not a hell of a relaxing wan...
Wait, you said walk?
What is a park and ride?
Last edited:
bbcbarry9033
Perv
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- Oct 29, 2014
- Posts
- 591
Dangit nerdboy!!! You beat me to it. Good onya!
nerdboy1000
Experienced
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- Jun 6, 2022
- Posts
- 48
If it makes you feel better, I misspelled "leave"...
Why did nerdboy beat bbcbarry?
luv2custrip
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2021
- Posts
- 1,884
His own meat was unreachable.
sallysparrow23
Don't blink
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2023
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- 5,942
And then he was knocked unconscious by the massive meat before he could ask a question. Sad.
Why are there never any paper towels in this restroom?
Why are there never any paper towels in this restroom?
bbcbarry9033
Perv
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- Oct 29, 2014
- Posts
- 591
Lilianna23
Virgin
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- Aug 19, 2023
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Tio_Narratore
Studies
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- Dec 2, 2008
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- 74,848
Hard to tell. Sometimes Rose feels like it, other times it's the last thing on her mind. But that's her problem; no one cares if she feels like it - they do it anyway.
What does a gamekeeper do?
Biggalute
Goldilocks
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- Apr 5, 2018
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Tio_Narratore
Studies
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- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 74,848
Mostly to show if she was a virgin, but there are other more ironic answers.
What is synecdoche?
bbcbarry9033
Perv
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2014
- Posts
- 591
A phonetic contraction: a cynical douche is a person (a man) who tries to bring everyone down with his bullshit toxic world view. Fuck that guy!
How far is the moon?
Tio_Narratore
Studies
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- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 74,848
nerdboy1000
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2022
- Posts
- 48
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