First Experiences

[JenJ]

Oh, you wicked girl!

Of course I did. LOL

just wait it will happen again

 

[DustyWolfe]

just wait it will happen again

*snickers*

 

[DustyWolfe]

Wow... Last night we went to PEP again and I got thrashed in public. I was stripped to the cross and bound to it with restraints. Then spanked as a warm up and flogged. Then I was turned and a finger flogger was used on my breasts. Then was laid out on a table of sorts and got the quirt used me on. Wow... 5 strokes with the quirt. That was awesome. I found that playing in public adds a bit of excitement to things.

 

[KestralWolfe]

*wefg* This is why you need to join us at GWNN, Dusty. The parties are excellent, and the people are great. Can't wait to take ya to Mojo's again, or perhaps Spider House next time. GWNN meets the second saturday of next month, I'm going, to get back into it, will ya be available to go? BW will be there, and Hans (whom you haven't met yet) will be there as well. Well, have fun, lil friend. Come back to us when it's safe.


Be well, be safe, be happy,

Kes

 

[lasavane]

Glad to hear it went well.

 

[JenJ]

*wefg* This is why you need to join us at GWNN, Dusty. The parties are excellent, and the people are great. Can't wait to take ya to Mojo's again, or perhaps Spider House next time. GWNN meets the second saturday of next month, I'm going, to get back into it, will ya be available to go? BW will be there, and Hans (whom you haven't met yet) will be there as well. Well, have fun, lil friend. Come back to us when it's safe.


Be well, be safe, be happy,

Kes

Hm intersting this stuff will of course have to be discussed before hand.

 

[bisarah]

first experience

i guess my first experience with bdsm was bondage. it felt so wonderful to be tied tight ...

 

[iamaddog]

1st experience

should I just say the only one I'm gonna get??????

tried out 3 weeks live in 24/7.....
only seen the dungeon once for about maybe......10 minutes?
I never moved the whole time She was using Her whips...
stood there like a stone wall. She couldn't believe I never flinched.
seemed to me......in MY head.....hell it wasn't any damned different than when the ole' man used to beat the shit outta me as a kid. same feelings. same stinging. only it wasn't as long and She didn't leave welts from my ass to my heels like he did then.

what else can I tell you? ain't like there was much else going on. ain't got no one to talk to about this stuff. no one around to explain stuff to me. .......but hell-----like I told Her,....
don't ANYONE ---EVER-- get the idea I like to get the shit beat outta me coz i don't!! had enough as a kid. guess i'm more into just servitude than anything else. I enjoy bringing Her coffee to Her and etc etc.....rub down Her feet/brush out Her hair.....

don't spose' i'm making much damned sense am I???????
sorry....thought maybe somone would get the idea here...

see ya all later on down the road......
"happy trails to you...."

mad dog

 

[SpectreT]

Uhm, dog?

Dude, have you been reading the same damn forum I have? The same threads? The descriptor of this huge variety of experiences, likes, and dislikes that we collect under the heading 'BDSM'? There are lots of folks for whom this lifestyle doesn't ever involve a beating. Not my idea of "playtime", but that's just me.

Everyone's tastes are different.

We hear ya, 'dog.

Plan for another day. This one didn't work, turned out damn dangerous. It just wasn't your time yet! Yes, it sucks.

I got two words for ya:

Shit happens.

I know it looks bleak, but my advice: think about what you're headed to, instead of what you're coming from. And think about how you're going to get there. You've had an experience; learn from it, use what you've gained from it to move forward!

I'm hoping for the best for you, man. But it is your life, your journey. None of us can make the trip for you, we can just offer little hints from what we've picked up on our own lives.

 

[DustyWolfe]

iamaddog....
To each his or her own I guess.
I was abused as a child and an adult in both physical and sexual ways. But that doesn't mean that pain or the lack thereof does something or nothing for me.

Then again, if I am in deep enough subspace things that should hurt are very pleasurable. Yeah.. I like to be beat, but that's my thing. I also enjoy serving as well. I've been serving my special Domme friend for several weeks and I thoroughly enjoy it. Just the way her face lights up when I bring her a fresh cup of coffee or light a cigarette for her. It's the little things in life that bring people joy I am finding.

No, not everyone likes to be beat or anything close to it. But some of us do.

The attached pict is my newest toy... *G*

 

[iamaddog]

damn forum

yeah I guess I see the same damn forum you did duuuuuuude!!!!

what's the matter duuuuude?????/ don't like MY way of interpreting (?) it my way??????? don't like life as seen through MY eyes?????
can't handle the truth as "I" see it?????
what ya wanna do,...DUUUUUDE????????
ya wanna go outside and f...g rumble now? huh duuuude???

how about maybe,....just maybe mister....try talking to me in a civilized tone with a little bit of respect and maybe...just maybe ...I'll see if you have any merit to what you say...
but don't hold your breath.....

I ain't in the mood for any lip off of anyone that can't handle real life as I have to deal with it.....okay duuuuuude??????

I don't recall EVER attacking you personally.....have I duuude???
like totally duuuude......

================
enough already.....get out of my face and give me some space...
I call it as "I" see it...thought it was MY civil right to do that.
tell me we are in red china now......huh????/
I do NOT recall EVER on purpose hurting ANYONE....did I??????
why the hell you attacking ME?????? what I do to YOU?????
you got a problem with me?????? ya wanna do it outside?????
is that your gig????? mister macho man huh??????
don't do it around me okay???? I don't want any part of it.
all I did was add something from MY point of view and I get attacked for it??????
excuse me all to f....g hell!!!!!!!!
so much for we can all be friends here huh?????
looks like one more time it's all one big smoke screen huh????
only friends until you don't like someone's life and their own personal truth......huh????/ talk about two faced son of a .....
hey yo dude........bite me......!!!!!!!
don't remember being told I was your nigger this month.
get off my case already.....
mad dog
aka
garylee

 

[cymbidia]

maddog, back off.

No one in the whole history of this forum, and the thread that preceeded it, has reacted so harshly toward anyone else here. Congrats, you're the first to break the civility barrier.

Everyone in this place has tried to help you, tried to offer you advice, tried to listen, tried to be of assistance - and some of us are getting tired of it, too.

In any event, you were way out of line attacking T in this manner.

Personally, i think you need to do some serious thinking about who you are and what you need and want with regard to your sexuality. You react, maddog, instead of acting. You run away from bad stuff instead of taking measured steps toward what you need and want. I don't think you have clue who you are or what you want - and i don't think you care. You just want to suck up however much sympathy people are willing to toss your way. Personally, it makes me really sad to see people like you, maddog, who won't help themselves be better, won't work toward inner strength, and seem to be determined to stay stuck forever in the mudhole of thier life.

This is a place where we talk out our differences.
We don't do that kinda bullshit blasting crap here.
You're out of line with it.

 

[iamaddog]

cymbidia

that's why they call me the mad dog.....I don't play nice with other boys and girls.......
I have an anger problem from day 1......when it comes to other males telling me what I can / cannot do......
don't expect YOU to understand it.......but then few people do.
for YOU personally......
if it seems out of line......
I will extend an apology.to YOU.
but I see it as a personal attack.....
YOU say everyone has a probelm with ME????
okaaaaaaayyyyy finnnnnnne!!!!!!!!!!!!
works for me......
this is my last post here.....period!!!!!!!!

didn't figure it'd last much longer here....knew it was all a smoke screen. so much for being able to defend myself with my own civil rights in free speech.......
must be red china here.......

mad dog

goodbye to one and all......


BITE ME!!!!!!!!!

 

[willfulbrat]

.

 

[SpectreT]

Well, guess I can add shit-stirrer to my resume.

'dog? if you're still reading this, sorry you took my post the wrong way. I wasn't attacking, and I don't live and die by the word "dude". My post was intended to point out that you're still alive, so there's still a chance for you to be happy. I wasn't "telling you what to do", or attacking you, by any stretch of the imagination.

You want to know "what's the matter"? I'll tell you:

Someone (you) was (were) suffering, being very negative. I thought, apparently incorrectly, that you wanted something better out of life than what you were getting. I offered what I know, from twenty years of depression and anxiety, works to shake negative feelings and move forward with your life. I also pointed out it's your life, your choices. I was offering what little help I could.

cym saw that, but then again, she's seen me posting for a little over a year, she's seen me turn myself around in that time, and she read what I wrote, without injecting any venom into it. That's whay she spoke up in my defense (I think).

To everyone else on the thread; sorry about this mess. I should know better than to try and help a mad dog. You just get bitten for your trouble.

 

[cymbidia]

I understand if you don't want to come back, MadDog. But I hope you'll come back for this unsolicited advice: Leave the Domme you're with. She's not good for you.

Be well, and best wishes for a fulfilling and happy future.

Stop, willful.

Last week or earlier this week he posted and told us he'd had to sell everything he owned for a fraction of what it was worth (including his $1400 compouter for $100) so he could afford to leave the Domme in LA and move back to Iowa.

It's done.
He's gone.
(If he was ever there to begin with, that is.)

And i'm done pouring words into the black hole of need he creates with every post, too. I'm done trying to help him understand the difference between pleasure and just enduring something. I don't think he's evolved enough to "get" our lifestyle the way most of us live it. Sorry to be harsh, willfull - and the rest of you looking on - but there's been a lot going on behind the scenes with regard to maddog that simply isn't public knowledge - and cannot be.

I think maddog needs help but i'm certain it's help none of us are qualified to give him. It's certainly not info that might, at some point, end up with him standing like a stone while being whipped and while flashing back to how his father did that to him (again) or, more horrible to contemplate, taking a flogger to someone else and maybe flashing into rage while using that flogger on a bound sub.

I think maddog is dangerously unstable. From a BDSM standpoint, i think he's probably a danger to himself because he refuses to search for the self-knowledge we know is so essential in all this. I think he's probably a danger to others, too, because as a bottom, he simply gets angry or silent or whiny - and as a top is (the gods forbid) he ever went there, who knows what could set him off into a wild anger while he's holding a flogger or a tawse or a whip.

I certainly would not let him get close to me.

I'm laying my cards on the line here.

We certainly do not have to ignore him but to keep feeding "you're a wonderful person just as you are, maddog" messages to him about our shared sexual style is irresponsible of every single one of us. He is not okay just as he is, not from the standpoint of engaging in BDSM sexuality. He needs a lot of thinking time, a lot of soul searching, and needs to spend a hell of a lot of deciding what the FUCK he wants from all this. Then he needs to take steps toward those goals instead of constantly, continually running away from where ever he is - which is always someplace he doesn't want to be.

One more thing.
I've had it with pouring sympathy and caring and understanding down the black hole of maddog's need. It's never enough and it never matters at all. I have seen no changes, no pauses for reflection, no growth in his spirit or in his understanding of himslef since he arrived here.

He's here for our sympathy.
He's like a vampire that way.

I've seen them before on boards and i'm done feeding into his insatiable need for our sympathy and care.

Anyone here remember Hardkorbj from the GB last summer?
I think maddog is another one just like that.
Whatever we give him will never be enough - and he'll never do any changing - and he'll never be happy, either.

He needs help far beyond what we can offer.
maddog needs professional help.

This isn't about his sexuality, it's about his need for strokes and complaining and being heard and being in the center.

We're not here for that. We're not a forum of psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists just sitting her waiting for the crazies to show up. We're BDSM'ers, here to help and guide those who come seeking such.

I'm done playing maddog's game.
Y'all go right along if you wish - but i'm done. None of us can possibly pour enough sympathy and tender care into maddog's black hole of crazed need, and i'm done trying. He's hurting others here now, or trying to, in an unthinking and childishly petulent manner. His action in that crossed my line of acceptable behavior. Who's next? Do we simply allow maddog to foam at the mouth whenever he wants because he has an anger management problem and, so, it's okay?

I'm gonna call him on it when he posts, too.

 

[SpectreT]

Thanks, cym. I had to try, once, to wake him up, assuming he was the real deal and needed it. I've done my duty there. I couldn't take the chance of leaving someone like that loose in the community without just once showing a little compassion, for everyone he might run into, if not for his own sake.

That said, my compassion has run out. I "turned the other cheek" in my second post, but I'm not hanging out waiting for him to slap it.

To everyone else, again, sorry for dragging this out here, in a thread that's supposed to be about better things.

 

[willfulbrat]

Re: maddog, back off.

.

 

[cymbidia]

I do.

 

[DustyWolfe]

ANYWAYS...


I topped for the last time last night, it was fun but really strange. I had trouble spanking hard enough so a slapper and flogger were the way to go. Once I finished topping I immediately slipped back into my sub mode. I really had always thought that I was switch, but I'm really not. I can only top because I knew it would greatly please the Domme I was doing it for and because I wanted to make her feel better. It's quite funny... I'm more submissive with men than I am women but I think I could be switch with men (don't really care much to be touched by men) and be able to top a guy, but I don't think they would want that. My very ideas of topping a guy are very sadistic and any man I topped would have to be a major masochist.

 

[DRxBlue]

Actually Dusty, that sounds pretty interesting...

Your ideas may be sadistic, (why don't you tell us some of them *leer*) but you would abide by the SSC guidelines don't you think?

i have no experience in this area, and i envy you the wonders you've been exploring lately, and appreciate your sharing your experiences. i have to confess when you said "any man I topped would have to be a major masochist" i actually felt a chill of excitement.

That's kind of a new experience for me. A friend of mine recently diagnosed me as a SAM type, but i don't know.

i have a feeling i'd be pretty switchable, not unlike my hero Spectre T, but you really sounded like a challenge.

Could i take it? Would your newness and mine put me in real danger? Ooo..goosebumpy questions.

i just wonder, i know i could ask the experts, but have you tried spanking with a glove? Is it your pain that limits your spanking power, or just leverage, hence the use of paddles and floggers?

WOW! i cannot believe how much i've learned in the past 2 months! i hope someday soon to get a chance for some RT lessons like you, but for now i'll soak up what i can vicariously from you.

You keep having fun, and keep sharing it, please Mistress.

 

[JenJ]

ANYWAYS...


I topped for the last time last night, it was fun but really strange. I had trouble spanking hard enough so a slapper and flogger were the way to go. Once I finished topping I immediately slipped back into my sub mode. I really had always thought that I was switch, but I'm really not. I can only top because I knew it would greatly please the Domme I was doing it for and because I wanted to make her feel better. It's quite funny... I'm more submissive with men than I am women but I think I could be switch with men (don't really care much to be touched by men) and be able to top a guy, but I don't think they would want that. My very ideas of topping a guy are very sadistic and any man I topped would have to be a major masochist.

Yes indeed and you did just fine topping. Yes indeed you are more submissive then you thought but that's okay because you can Top those who wish you too so it will work out just fine.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Dusty, hon, I really *am* glad for you that you're getting to explore and figure out what roles work best for you and everything, so please forgive that I'm about to comment on something which has little to do with your posts and their intended purpose.

************
I just read through the whole Spectre, maddog, cymbidia, willfulbrat mess and just Oh my gawd. You turn your back to deal with real life for a DAY and people get all screwy.

I'm fascinated that maddog's typing on a computer he sold a week or more ago, but let that pass.

I'm annoyed that he so consistently chooses to read hostility where none is intended, but let that pass.

I'm saddened that Spectre's finally started coming out of his shell, offering bits of his considerable intellect and heart, only to be slapped in the face for the effort, but let that pass as well.

I'm in agreement with cymbidia that maddog's needs, if he's telling the truth, are well beyond the scope of what we can provide, though many of us have tried, over the last several months, to help him. Again, let it pass.

I'm irritated that willfulbrat jumped in at the end, apparently just to stir shit, without posting anything helpful, thoughtful, or at all relevant, but let that pass without further elaboration.

But more than anything, I'm amazed that this doesn't happen every day, given all the personalities here, all the differences between them in every conceivable way, and all the anonymity the 'net affords those who wish to hide behind a smoke screen for whatever reason. That such spats don't develop all the time is a testament to the positivity a little honesty shared between people can create.

And for that, I'm very grateful.
***********
Back to the regularly scheduled thread:

I gotta say, Dusty's stories sure do give a new meaning to the "blow by blow" telling.

 

[HotXBunz]

DrRxBlue, brilliant idea spanking with a glove. I tried spanking with my hand for the first a week or so ago and liked it except for the fact I had to stop because my hand hurt. My muscles ached for a few days later too. (not to be read as a complaint). I usually use a paddle or something. I will be on the lookout for some nice gloves now. We hope to go to New Orleans next month for a little vacation, maybe I will find something there. Thanks again for the tip.

Dustygrrl, I am so very excited for you and appreciate your sharing.

 

[willfulbrat]

.