Freakin' good titles!

Never trust an agent

Maybe acting as one's own public relations officer is necessary in these lightning quicksand times.

Use a title that fits, and promote the eff out of it.

The Huntsman
 
Sometimes the title comes to me first and I feel it is like cheating to craft something from it.
Here are 3 examples:
"Rockets To Nowhere"
"Gray Swirled Cardboard Tube"
"Poem That Will Kick Your Fucking Ass"
 
I don't feel the first two...

...but that last one's a keeper!

Have you written a poem, or diatribe, from it?
If so, I'd like to have my ass kicked.

Ihmara
 
Sometimes the title comes to me first and I feel it is like cheating to craft something from it.

Oh, come on, mr. smithpeter, don't say that! I've already promised karmadog I'd bring something called «Tele-Parablized HyperKarma» and «Under a fusillade of popping kernels» and I don't think of it as cheating... where is it writen that we've got to name the poem in the end? it's just a different aproach, an exercise, if you will...
 
Some titles are important. I think only cause it can catch an eye to someone. I find myself hard at times to find the right title to use. If it don't look eye catching I try again to make it eye catching as long as it goes with what I am writting.
 
I'm with huntsman on that... While outrageous catch phrases are fun with titles for a poem, sometimes they won't do. Public relations and a reputation for excellent poetry are what is truely needed. I don't like the idea of altering my ideas for the need to be publicly reckognized and read dozens of times. I write poems for myself and if people like them, that is an added bonus. I tend to view poetry by who I like to read, more than crazy titles. If I notice certain people consistantly write absolute crap, I move on to greener pastures.
 
The heart of the matter.

Titles are extremely important, they need not be obscure or racy. They should speak to a point in the poem or offer some insight into its soul. The title is part of the poem and not a billboard. Craft it for irony and insight and as a key. I’m with smithpeter often titles come first. The last two a wonderful. Both would require a strong poem. The middle one begs for something insightful and thus will be the hardest to write.

U.P.
 
Of Course!

I don't think that a title should be written expressly to shock or to be eye-catching. However, it seems to me that if a title sounds good, shows a certain playfulness with language, and fits the poem, that can't be a bad thing. I admit I started this thread mainly to goof around, but isn't the title the first line of your poem? As such it is extremely important. It is the first thing that your reader will see and likely the thing that they will remember best.

Now, on to some new titles.

You might remember that Lauren mentioned a title that she wanted to use-- here it is!

Under a Fusillade of Popping Kernel Drops by Lauren.Hynde
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47675

Now that she added "drops" it sounds more like the Tailhook scenario.

I Pooed by extra virgin http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47466

No joke, this is there. I think extra virgin might have seen some of my comments and wrote down to my level.

Mocking Cock by extra virgin
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47589

Now I'm sure of it. I hate when this happens. Ah well, mock it, just don't block it.

Pick up lines that rock by debbiexxx
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47269

I checked this one out hoping to find some new material, only to find that she gives me no help. These are only lines that DON'T work. debbiexxx is such a tease. BTW you left off my favorite line: "Baby, you're so fine. I'd drink a tub of your bathwater." Or maybe that actually works. I'll let you know Monday.

The Master’s miss by Ancient117331
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47363

Karnak places the envelope to his turbaned head and intones, "The Master's miss".

Karnak passes the envelope to Ed McMahon, who opens the it and says, "What made the sub sound like a dolphin."

Not Chinese Fortune Cookie by WickedEve
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47333

I've only had chinese fortune cookie, but I'm told by reliable sources to never, ever, under any circumstances open an Iraqi fortune cookie.
 
:D karmadog, best wishes for Monday. :p
I hadn't heard that pick up line before you
mentioned it! Sounds like a great title for
a poem. *grin*

"Baby, you're so fine. I'd drink a tub of your bathwater."

I am a tease? More a flirty, fluffy tease. Especially on
Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays. Any other day I am a
wench. :D

Wednesdays Wench lol I feel a poem coming on.

Do not titles of a book catch our eye?
Headlines on a newspaper or magazine?

Titles of poems do the same for me.
Are they interesting sounding?
Grab at my curious mind and reel me into
read the poem attached to the title?


That doesn't mean I only read the poems
with catchy titles. But I am a curious person. :)
 
Re: Of Course!

karmadog said:
Now I'm sure of it. I hate when this happens. Ah well, mock it, just don't block it.

«Mock it, don't block it»??? Now, that's a title!!! You shouldn't let that go to waist!
xxrotflmao.gif


Thankx for the mention, btw!
 
karmadog

I saw the I Pooed title, and I'm ashamed to admit that it was more than I could pass up. The poem wasn't all that cool, but the title sure makes you look.

Honey :heart: Dipped
 
First of all, I'm sorry I couldn't answer the question about whether the bathwater line worked or not. It did. Sort of. I've been hospitalized. Apparently, she used some sort of toxic bath beads. (Wish I had a poem to go with that title. "Toxic Bath Beads") The worst part was that after saying she was hot enough for me to drink a full tub of her bathwater, it turns out I couldn't drink an entire tub. Humiliating. Perhaps if I hadn't already had so much beer...

A Bowel Cleansing by SexplorN
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48230

A double bill with "I Pooed" might be nice. Makes me think of that Seinfeld when Kramer was blocked.

From A Secret Admirer by WickedEve
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48402

At first I though Eve had written me a poem, but after reading it (very nice, BTW) I have to say, "It wasn't me!"

Like a Bug On My Windshield by WickedEve
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48122

Another good one, but not one reference to a bug's ass being the last thing going through his mind. How can that be?

‘round the bed and under the walls by Senna Jawa
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48344

I had things doing this at my house, but the exterminator took care of it. Actually, I have no idea what this poem was about. I'm getting so old that I think I need reading glasses and this guy apparently has a very small computer. He might be writing on a PalmPilot. Look at it, you'll see.

picture of your tits! by gracias holmes
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48307

This could have been used as one of the pickup lines that rock this one actually works on Bourbon Street.

You’ve Just Cum? by JUDO http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48275

I thought this one was a paean to the premature ejaculator. For once, I didn't think the poem was directed at me.

If a premature ejaculator takes Viagra, how many orgasms do you suppose he'd have in four hours? Would he just be a constant cummer? Makes me wish I was a premature ejaculator. On the other hand, imagine the wet spot.
 
karmadog said:
Another good one, but not one reference to a bug's ass being the last thing going through his mind. How can that be?
Hm, I hope that your comment will not affect eventual reading of my poem by a participant/witness of this thread.
‘round the bed and under the walls   by Senna Jawa

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=48344
Check my profile for more titles. I don't feel obliged to have poems titled, but if there is a title it should be a good one.
I had things doing this at my house, but the exterminator took care of it.
Gentle reader, please disregard, clean yourself from and forget the above comment if and before U read my 'round....
Actually, I have no idea what this poem was about. I'm getting so old that I think I need reading glasses and this guy apparently has a very small computer. He might be writing on a PalmPilot. Look at it, you'll see.
This issue of small font in my posts was already raised by another person. I think I have resolved the mystery. I have my Internet explorer set up to the largest font. I think this results in the following: when I use the default Literotica editing window font, I get standard size (in pixels) on my screen, which translates into smaller size on the screens which have their browsers set to the standard viewing font size.

Some time in future I may re-edit my posts. In the meantime, if U'r bothered by the small viewing font size but still care to read my poems U may (temporarily) set your viewing font to the largest (and back afterwards). I apologize for all that.

Regards,
 
Is

           angel of neutrality


such a poor title? But in one day (less than two) it has scored only one "view". Also

            san jose blues   and   San Jose,

posted at the same time, have scored but meager two "views". Of my four poems posted yesterday only

            life is a private party

has scored decent 15 views. Sure, the title is not half bad, but some of my other poems, with less flashy titles, have scored over 20 views on each of their first two days. Conclusion? There is some correlation between the title and popularity but it's not strong. Other factors may have more influence. Judo has mentioned being at the top of the list. However "angel..." starts with "a" and still is not atracting any clicks.

It's all trivia. I am just musing. I am curious about the first two day scores of your poems. Let us know :) (it would take an effort to know it about the poems posted earlier since U would have to keep daily track of the "views", the system doesn't do it for U, what a pity for someone who likes numbers, progressions, statistics, trivia :)

(If U'r interested in kennings then check San Jose).

Regards,
 
SJ, without yet reading those poems, I like the title "Angel of Neutrality" best. One thing that seems to affect readership is whether the poem is posted in "Erotic" or "Non-Erotic". "Erotic" gets many more reads. Another issue is forum participation and reputation. I've read several of your poems, so I would guess that your reputation is excellent and will only get better, and you participate regularly on the forums. I would expect that your readership will be quite good, given a little time.

The more experienced writers on the site could probably tell you more than I can.

karmadog

PS I really did enjoy " 'round the bed...". Many's the time I wish I left before the morning light!
 
karmadog said:
"Erotic" gets many more reads.
Really? :) I better submit my 2 from "Sexually explicit" thread and 1 from "Speak now or...".
Another issue is forum participation and reputation.
Is this board active and read enough to be a significant factor? Well, never mind the "views", the board is important for its own sake. I am thinking about starting threads with original and any translations, and with oriental poetry. Going back to our own poetry, it'd be nice to organize titles into themes. The reading of the poems would gain since poems exist not one at the time but in cycles. Even a chronological subdivision has a value. Then poems with similar style and topics tend to cluster together.

It'd be good to have much more control over editing our own profiles.
I would expect that your readership will be quite good, given a little time.
Thank U, KD, for good words. Some poets are strong and popular. My poetry never had mass appeal. Those who are on the same wavelength with me, and the strongest Internet poets and refined readers enjoy my poems, but altogether not that many people. Which is fine with me. I am happy when someone likes my poem but I would never change anything in my poems just to get it more popular. Of course a high number of "views" doesn't necessarily mean that readers like the poem. They click before they have read it :).
The more experienced writers on the site could probably tell you more than I can.

karmadog
There r so many factors that to some extent "popularity" must be random. Until now my poem * * * was never mentioned on this board, it has as unassuming "title" as possible, and nevertheless among my submissions it has the second highest view-score. True, in my profile it was positioned at the top, and now it's just after 'round the bed and under the walls. Yes, Judo, some characters precede "a"! :) My simple remark should now revolutionize your title creativity! :)
PS I really did enjoy " 'round the bed...". Many's the time I wish I left before the morning light!
Thank U, Karmadog, for your kind words. I still have to resolve my font problem. I've submitted a few poems again via the Literotica editing window but for the last time. I set font in my window to middle size. Possibly I overreacted in the case of "willow girl (5 poems)", when I also had <font size=+1>. Now the font may be too large, like in the books for kindergarten. That would be awful :-( We will see soon, I hope.

Best regards,
 
here we go again

Somebody mentioned earlier that the reader of this thread should cleanse their mind of whatever image I create to go with the title. That goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, Wash your mind out with soap after reading this thread and I promise to wash my hands of it.

I haven't done this for a while, so there are surely some that I've missed. I apologize to anyone I missed. I mean if they are actually upset. I suspect many of you are glad! Here we go.

Moogala Mediocrious Fecalishious by Smaugfire
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49568

Smaugfire is back with another good one (although "Fecalishious" kind of scared me. Reminded me of this one time, at band camp, we were in the cafeteria...). Lewis Carrol Lives!!!

Puckered Rosebud Tips by debbiexxx
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49208

OOh debbiexxx, such a tasty image. Makes you wonder where the thorns are though.

my habit by smithpeter http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49371

I've never met him, but I'm sure smithpeter makes a wonderful nun. Wait a minute. What are you doing with that ruler.

Mowing Diaries by smithpeter
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49574

I think this is about a gifted landscaper who gets in trouble with heroin and fantasizes about going into the offices at Scott's Lawn Products with a machinegun. But I'm not sure.

Punk 5.7.5 by XicotencatlSmith
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49515

I'm too old to be a punk now, so I had to relive it through this poem. Did you know that Smith was also the most common surname among the Aztecs. Gotta love PBS.

Public Transport by Laced http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49385

Last time I took public transportation, a drunk guy peed all over his seat. He didn't even stand up. The urine would flow to the front when the bus slowed, then to the back when it sped up. Then the guy tried to shake the bus driver's hand to apologize. Bus drivers should get hazard pay. Wait a minute, that says "Transport". That's very different. Never mind.

towel by Senna Jawa http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49345

I'm not sure why this caught my eye, but it did. The terrible towel in Pitt. Rat-tailed towels in the locker room (maybe there should be a horror section in poetry). The wet spot. Maybe the ambiguity of the title is what got me.

‘haiku’ & haiku by Senna Jawa
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49341

I was picturing 17 syllable poems trying to blow each other up. I bet Senna Jawa has no idea what I'm talking about. It's payback for "kennings"!

Blue Boy’s Opera by WickedEve
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49264

Hard to believe Gainsborough's little boy grew up to write operas. I thought he and his brothers had a gig in Vegas playing strange percussion instruments.

Quick Love In The Domestic Jungle by WickedEve
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49377

Nice use of the double oxymoron... Well, maybe "Quick Love" is only half an oxymoron. It's not my fault, I think about baseball so much during sex, now words like "RBI" or "shortstop" get me hot. Don't even say the words "home run".

Rum Rush by WickedEve http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=31131

This really happens. I used to work in a bar. You have no idea how brutal those beachcombers can be if you're just a few minutes late opening the door. You sort of have to stand to the side when you open the gates, or you'll be trampled. I think I need to write a book called "Advice For The Young Bartender".

The Second Semi-Occasional Award For Excellency in Titling goes to... Duh duh duh Dahhhh!

WickedEve!!!

WE has a way with titles that few can equal. She comes up with so many great images, and strange juxtapositions that it is simply amazing (Her poems are great too.). Such a gift with words should be recognized.

PS I liked almost every one of these poems. I won't be singling any one of them out for praise or ridicule. You'll have to read them for yourself. But don't forget that brainwashing before you go.
 
Last edited:
karmadog

Yup, I'm a landscaping nun on heroin.
How did you ever figure that out?
:D
 
The title to that one is actually a bit longer, but there are a few unfortunate limitations to the submissions form.

*adds "antidrivel #1" to the end of the title.*

Fecalishious just struck me as something that went with Mediocrious and the popular music industry's ploy to sell the unsuspecting public pure unadulterated crap. My frame of mind while writing that was a language to portray the absurdity and inteligence level of people who buy into whatever they're told.

~Smaug would like to thank~
Lewis Carol
The Power Puff girls
Les Claypool
Meryl Streep's Skeleton
Ted Kopel's hair piece
and Karmadog for the mention
 
WE has a way with titles that few can equal. She comes up with so many great images, and strange juxtapositions that it is simply amazing (Her poems are great too.). Such a gift with words should be recognized.
Oh, Kdog, you sweet puppy. I could kiss your little furry face. :kiss:
 
Re: here we go again

karmadog said:
towel by Senna Jawa http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=49345

I'm not sure why this caught my eye, but it did. The terrible towel in Pitt. Rat-tailed towels in the locker room (maybe there should be a horror section in poetry). The wet spot. Maybe the ambiguity of the title is what got me.
Title "towel" sounds somewhat exciting only around a place like Literotica. If housekeepers formed a literary club, my title would sound plain to them, no?
I was picturing 17 syllable poems trying to blow each other up. I bet Senna Jawa has no idea what I'm talking about. It's payback for "kennings"!
What have I done? (I am sure I did). I was both serious and joking when selecting this title.

Do I have any idea? In the poetry context my understanding is guided by three rules:
  • if the text is sexual then it is not about sex.
  • if the text is not sexual then it is definitely about sex.
  • if there is something I don't understand then that something is about sex.
(I just worked on my board signature. Let's see if it works. Yes, it does :)).

Best regards
 
Re: Re: here we go again

Senna Jawa said:
Title "towel" sounds somewhat exciting only around a place like Literotica. If housekeepers formed a literary club, my title would sound plain to them, no?
I saw "towel" and I was immediately curious. I thought, "Is that a metaphor for something?" and "He used such a simple title. What a bold move!" and "Is that French for something?"
 
WE and KD, I am glad that this simple title "towel" made an impression.

Now I'd like to ask about something a little off topic. I have submitted   [the main light...]   but just now it got admitted but under a slightly different title(!):

    the main light...

The brackets surrounding the phrase r missing. I enclose the title in such brackets to indicate that actually my poem has no title, that the phrase is but a part of the first line (or the total first line if there are no dots "...").

On a couple of occasions I forgot to include those brackets but this time I could see them in my view submissions window, until poem got accepted.

Now, do you know that we don't have a simple way to modify the title of a poem?! Or do we? Of course one can delete a poem and then to submit a "new" poem with the modified title. But then U'd lose continuity of all these fun games, views and votes.

Another aspect. I wouldn't change a thing in my poem just to affect the views or votes. Nevertheless, as Judo has observed, the position of the title among all titles on Literotica (and even among your own titles) is the factor which has the greatest influence on the number of views. A poem very near the beginning of the list will be viewed much more than one buried somewhere inside the list. The next factor is the one stressed by Karmadog, the attractiveness of the title. So, when two poems are near the top, then one with the more attractive title has a chance to overun in "popularity" the one in front of it. But it has to be very close to the top too, to get a lot of "attention".

After a little more than two weeks on Literotica I can already tell you that the second best place on the list is at the very end. It is much poorer than at the beginning, but clearly "better" than somewhere inside the list.

(Of course I am simplifying things a bit).

Just musing :)
 
Senna Jawa

Senna Jawa said:
WE and KD, I am glad that this simple title "towel" made an impression.

Now I'd like to ask about something a little off topic. I have submitted   [the main light...]   but just now it got admitted but under a slightly different title(!):

    the main light...

The brackets surrounding the phrase r missing. I enclose the title in such brackets to indicate that actually my poem has no title, that the phrase is but a part of the first line (or the total first line if there are no dots "...").

On a couple of occasions I forgot to include those brackets but this time I could see them in my view submissions window, until poem got accepted.

Now, do you know that we don't have a simple way to modify the title of a poem?! Or do we? Of course one can delete a poem and then to submit a "new" poem with the modified title. But then U'd lose continuity of all these fun games, views and votes.

Another aspect. I wouldn't change a thing in my poem just to affect the views or votes. Nevertheless, as Judo has observed, the position of the title among all titles on Literotica (and even among your own titles) is the factor which has the greatest influence on the number of views. A poem very near the beginning of the list will be viewed much more than one buried somewhere inside the list. The next factor is the one stressed by Karmadog, the attractiveness of the title. So, when two poems are near the top, then one with the more attractive title has a chance to overun in "popularity" the one in front of it. But it has to be very close to the top too, to get a lot of "attention".

After a little more than two weeks on Literotica I can already tell you that the second best place on the list is at the very end. It is much poorer than at the beginning, but clearly "better" than somewhere inside the list.

(Of course I am simplifying things a bit).

Just musing :)
Last night I submitted a poem titled "60 seconds" and this morning I could not find it. I finally found it under "sixty seconds." I know that's not a big deal, but I like the way "60 seconds" looked, and I thought using a number in the title would draw more attention. I never title my poems to purposely get them at the top. I have many that start with "W" lol But I liked my number! Anyway, I simply submitted an edited version. If you do that you don't lose any views or votes, Senna Jawa.
 
Re: Senna Jawa

WickedEve said:

Last night I submitted a poem titled "60 seconds" and this morning I could not find it. I finally found it under "sixty seconds." I know that's not a big deal, but I like the way "60 seconds" looked, and I thought using a number in the title would draw more attention. I never title my poems to purposely get them at the top. I have many that start with "W" lol But I liked my number! Anyway, I simply submitted an edited version. If you do that you don't lose any views or votes, Senna Jawa.

This is is serious. Number "60" has five millenia old significance! It stands out. To replace it with "sixty" is to change the poem. Title is an integral part of the poem. I often have no title because of it. If a poem is better off without a title then I don't want any. And if there should be a title, it has to be very good as a part of the poem (not necessarily as a phrase on its own; if that happens that's nice too).

Whom should we object to about the unacceptable title interference by the system? I'd like to protest in general (but I would be perfectly happy if others did it :), then I don't have to).

Some poems rely on their graphics design and layout. There might be a text which is decorated with *** or ..., and it may be important that title is   "*** stars ***"   or   "... dots ...",   while replacing it with   "stars"   or respectively   "dots"   would harm such a poem seriously.

U know, it occurred to me only now that on those other occasions I didn't forget braces, that Literotica was already removing them. I don't forget such things, it is my long established habit of writing titles in the form [phrase...]. But I am not sure. Hm, I was sure that I had three "4 seasons (...)" titles, not as it is "four seasons (...)". It's rather established by now that Literotica editors resist titles which do not start with a letter. They don't want the index looking like a messed up reversed phone book.

One can leave a "keep my title as is" note in the small submission window meant for notes to the editor.

Best regards,
 
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