From Computer to RL (Personal)

[seXieleXie]

shit... i was told it was like a 30 minute walk....
well, at least i found out before i left....
back to the drawing board on that plan...
god i miss the bay area...

 

[Merelan]

When are you coming through... no, not asking you to post that here. Pm me if you like. Maybe we can rig up a ride. it is not a nice walk and a taxi is way to expensive.

I know Spectre, but I understand the invite thing. Yes, the cops raid them. Infiltrate and try to protect society from itself. Silly yes?

 

[Rambling Rose]

This is like a crop-and-clamp version of a Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland vehicle!

It's time to put on a show in the barn! Get together and start your own group if there is not one available. I'll give you all an A+ for effort on this...and maybe even a spanking that will leave you flushed and smarting!

 

[MissTaken]

I am game!

I could even go to Syracuse this weekend if anyone wants to talk about it !





Miss T *grabbing the bull*

 

[SpectreT]

When are you coming through... no, not asking you to post that here. Pm me if you like. Maybe we can rig up a ride. it is not a nice walk and a taxi is way to expensive.

I know Spectre, but I understand the invite thing. Yes, the cops raid them. Infiltrate and try to protect society from itself. Silly yes?

The security thing hit me today while I was at work. That phrase "by invitation only" just twanged my "rail against the elitist snob bastards" button, without letting me think there might be a reason for it. IMHO, nobody who lives in Syracuse has any reason to act like an elitist snob bastard.

<sigh> Heinlein was right. dye a monkey pink, shove him in a cage full of brown monkeys, and they'll tear the pink one apart.

why do people persist in being brown monkeys?

 

[SpectreT]

I am game!

I could even go to Syracuse this weekend if anyone wants to talk about it !





Miss T *grabbing the bull*

looking at Miss T oddly

Uhm, I'm a bull.

As in, Taurus.

Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful crowd, I'll be here all week! Be good to your waitresses!

......

Funny... the guy on the hook must be asleep.

Seriously, Miss T. PM me, and let's see if it can be worked into the weekend schedule. I have to work both days, but I should have quite a bit of free time, too....

 

[MissTaken]

looking at Miss T oddly

Uhm, I'm a bull.

As in, Taurus.

Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful crowd, I'll be here all week! Be good to your waitresses!

......

Funny... the guy on the hook must be asleep.

And I am really a fish! So, fish takes bull,

the cat takes the mouse

the mouse takes the cheese!

Will be messaging your shortly!

 

[SpectreT]

Like I said in a PM not too long ago..

It's all gotta start someplace.

MissT and I met, face to face, sat down, and had a decent meal (Mind you, the appetizers in this place were enough to fill you up, but somehow we got through a burger each as well.) and made some small talk. Looking back on it with the perspective a few hours brings, the small talk seemed kind of like a verification, a validation. We esablished that we're whole people, not simply a bundle of kinks.

I cannot express quite how cool this afternoon was. Yes, it's odd, being "out" to somone and trying to talk in a surprisingly busy restaurant, but it's also indispensible.

Funny thing, we never did get around to discussing ideas on how we were going to get our own little group started.

Well, everything's got to start somewhere, and there's always another time.

 

[SpectreT]

I nearly forgot.....

An Item that Miss T and I discussed, and one that I think is very germane to this sort of situation:

Real Life isn't a Bulletin Board System. The BBS is great for slow thinkers, like me, who want to say whay they mean, have their wit carefully calculated, and let parts of themselves shine that don't in faster-paced face to face communications. That's fine, and it's a way to hone one's writing skills, assuming one is an author, but you've got to actually interact with real people at some point, and that can take a little work.

So no, in Real Life I'm not quite as erudite and loquacious as I am here, and certainly not in the habit of using such large, frustrating words!

But that's okay, as long as you find something to contribute, and by all means, do so.

In short, don't worry about having to dazzle everyone with your wit and brilliance. Just be yourself, wherever you are. It'll work out fine.

 

[MissTaken]

As T knows, I tend to be a bit loquacious and somewhat animated in my expression!


Well, that is to say....I talk with my hands!


And I talk alot!



SpectreT: Your wit and brilliance shines through even without a keyboards and pc screen protecting you

*hugs*

 

[SpectreT]

I don't know about wit and brilliance, exactly. I am honest enough with myself to recognize that I have some sort of gift when it comes to meeting with people. I don't know what it is, but I've seen it work too often to doubt it. It made me four friends back in High School that are still friends to this day, some twelve to fifteen (I met a couple of 'em in Jr. High) years ago.

And they can't tell me what it is, either.

It's not earth shaking, and thank God it doesn't give me an inflated ego.

wait.

Eureka!

I don't have an inflated ego!!

That's the whole thing, right there!

maybe....

<shrug>

Nevermind.

 

[Merelan]

Hmmm I missed it. I hate work.... hate it.

Darn you two. So very glad you met, and chatted, and ate.

Miss T talk alot? Never. Thought she was the shy, silent type.

How duid you know each other? Did he have a rose between his teeth? Or did she carry her whip?

 

[SpectreT]

Gah! Bitten by the double post Bug!

.

 

[SpectreT]

Nah, I gave her some identifying characteristics; a couple articles of clothing I'm rarely without. Figured that would give her the opportunity to back out of a meeting if she changed her mind.

And we've got opposite polarities from our Lit personas; She does talk quite a bit, which was fine with me. Gave me time to gather my thoughts and express them in a (relatively) organized manner. Me, I'm the shy, quiet type, at least until I really get to know someone.

So, It worked out great.

 

[SpectreT]

It's me again, reporting that there's nothing to report. Haven't even had a second meeting with MissT to work out some ideas for the Munch Group. (that, to my knowledge, hasn't been started yet.)

In the progress of me becoming a whole person, though, I'm working on a process that will, if all goes well, have me out of this godforsaken armpit of a home town. Then again, I suppose anyplace where you're living in your parents' house seems like a godforsaken armpit.

Well, off to do some PM's and read a bit, polish up my resume, and get some shut-eye. Early day tomorrow.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Yeah and...

(Good god... did he just say "typical 30-year-old-guy, midlife crisis crap"?)


Fuck!
That must make me, like, on death's door or something!


Hey T! You can't have a mid-life crises until you get to mid-life! Do you only plan to live until you're 60? I'm telling you, big guy, it's not all that far away when you're sitting where i'm sitting, and it's not an age when one wants to be giving it all up, either.



Geeze... 30... mid-life crises... kids today... what're they learning in schools anyway?... man... why i had to walk to school 20 miles barefoot in the snow... mid-life crises, my ass...

I am even older than you are!

Eb

 

[DRxBlue]

Wow...did i need this thread!

There isn't a "smiley" that would accompany my emotional state at the moment. Fascinated, empathetic, sympathetic, encouraging...hard to fit any of those in a 1/4th inch disc.

So i'll just "turn on my light". This whole thread hits me precisely where i live. (No ... not Syracuse) i'm kinda cut off from the BDSM community too, and very much want to make some RT connections.

Finding a "playmate" isn't even my goal yet. Just, as cymbidia and Miss T were describing, being able to meet face to face with people you can be open with would be SO nice.

Thanks Spectre (and you too, Eb) for bumping this thread up where i could see it. i may end up "grabbing the bull" myself and yanking some of the locals (which statistically MUST be there) out of thier closets, and into their living rooms at least.

Thanks cym, for the "internet group" idea. That could make a good cover, and let's face it, cover is important in smaller communities.

Interesting that the day you, Spectre T, and the effervescent Miss T (hi darlin') were having lunch was the very day that i was first realizing that i had an "interest" in BDSM.

It's become a minor obsession, but that's how i got into music too. That turned out well. i gotta check out that whole "Starting a Munch" thread now.

You guys...it's a conspiracy isn't it?
You just had to be so INTERESTING!
hmmmph!

i love you all

Blue

 

[SpectreT]

Thank you, Doc!

I can't tell you how gratifying it is to have it proven that my little "Community Service" effort was worthwhile to someone, that my little "online journal" is doing its job.

Gives me a nice warm fuzzy.

"Be Excellent to each other." - William S. Preston, Esq.

 

[SpectreT]

Oh, and the lunch thing? It's synergy, man. Pure synergy.

odd personal question, Doc? What kind(s) of music do you like?

I'm a great listener of Classical, Blues, Classic Rock, Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, "Hair Bands", Beth Orton (doesn't really fit a category), Techno, Electronic, and Dance. I guess I like my music to have an energy and emotion, to be motion. I like themes and stories in my music.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Wow...did i need this thread!

closets, and into their living rooms at least.



You guys...it's a conspiracy isn't it?
You just had to be so INTERESTING!
hmmmph!

i love you all

Blue

No, sweetie! We are just pervs!

As for T, after his warm accolade of a few hours in my paltry presence, I feel the need to say that he is everything I would have expected. I feel a friendship budding and am very happy for that.

Of course, running into my dear old mom's oldest friend at the restaurant was a bit jarring! And when she told me, I would meet someone nice someday, I nearly choked. The obvious pun being I wouldn't want him to be TOO nice!

Hey T! I forgot to tell you....my mother was at the mall that day as well! Phew! Close call!

 

[SpectreT]

You MOM was there?


manoman!

That would've been too much, if you'd run into her....

(yes, I'm chuckling.)

 

[cellis]

You know when I first came to Lit, I had yet to move into a real time relationship. I had met my current Dom, had met a few others before him, and had play some online.

There is absolutely nothing like the real thing. I mean you cannot imagine the difference it makes in your life when you get out from behind that computer screen and into reality.

For those of you who are wanting to make the move, place an ad on alt.com or bondage.com.

Be concise about what you are looking for, or ask cym to share one of hers (the one I saw was the best personal ad I have ever seen). Get someone to read it and make suggestions for you.

Be willing to meet someone new even if it is just for coffee. Remember, coffee is not a commitment.

Follow the rules for safety but be willing to put yourself out there. Also be willing to wait for the right person to come along.

These are just a few of the things that I did when I was looking to make the move to real time.

I hope this is helpful for those of you wanting to make that move.

Be safe and have fun...

 

[MissTaken]

I have had an ad at bondage since October. I have become involved with two Dom's as a result.

The real time interaction and play was incredible.

Sadly, both relationships dissolved for reasons that would have prevented a long term relationship regardless of where I met them.

Even to have a coffee with a friend and feel that comfort of them knowing who you really are has it's own merits. I look forward to more of that.

Meeting T was exhilerating. No secrets. No worries. No disappointments. He is a great guy and anyone who has a chance to do lunch with him, should go for it .

 

[DRxBlue]

Thanks cellis...Miss T too! <kiss>

It really might help get things started to put up a personal. Perhaps you could PM me some of the details of the process you used. i impose upon cym often enough, and cellis, i'm really getting to like you.

i sincerely hope that i might find someone as sweet, adventurous and understanding as you in my search. That might be the end of the search.

Miss Taken i believe i've expressed my feelings for YOU before. If i STOP loving you, i'll let you know.

i'm also considering putting up a website for our area. (i have the technology) and putting some carefully worded ads in the local papers.

If i get any results on this line of thinking i'll invite you all to help edit my site. It's so crazy, it might work!

Thanks, you people,
You know how i feel. <blush>

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Wow...did i need this thread!

No, sweetie! We are just pervs!

As for T, after his warm accolade of a few hours in my paltry presence, I feel the need to say that he is everything I would have expected. I feel a friendship budding and am very happy for that.

Of course, running into my dear old mom's oldest friend at the restaurant was a bit jarring! And when she told me, I would meet someone nice someday, I nearly choked. The obvious pun being I wouldn't want him to be TOO nice!

Hey T! I forgot to tell you....my mother was at the mall that day as well! Phew! Close call!

Who moi? A perv? Speak for yourself Miss T, I am the soul of propriety! LOL

Eb