From maturity to youth

[SweetErika]

Two weeks ago, a friend of mine went into the hospital. He had a bad heart at the age of 36, and he was not doing well. I told another friend that I really wanted to go see visit with him. It wasn't that I was too busy, just too lazy actually. I figured I would go see him maybe on the weekend. He passed away last Monday and was creamated on Tues. I never got to see him. If someone you know is ill, or lonely, oron your mind, go see them. It may be the last chance you have. We always assume there will be tomorrow. What else would you be doing, sitting around watching tv? Make the time, and go. Sure as hell beats what I am feeling now.

How true, and I'm sorry you're feeling bad, Seo. In addition to seeing someone, this year I learned how important it is to say what you need to say, even if it's uncomfortable or downright painful. It's easy to leave words unspoken on the pretense of not wanting to make the person who is ill or dying feel bad, yet it's far easier to speak from the heart than live with the regret.

 

[pplwatching]

It's easy to leave words unspoken on the pretense of not wanting to make the person who is ill or dying feel bad, yet it's far easier to speak from the heart than live with the regret.

If you are only saying it to relieve some guilt that you are carrying around, then keep it to yourself and let the person die in peace. It's your burdon, you take it to your own grave.

 

[seohdwm46]

Sweet,
It is more than feeling sad. I am saddened at the loss of my friend. I feel tremendous guilt for not going to see him in the hospital. Part of me thought he had been in there numerous times and would be home again soon, part of me thought I was just too tired after work to take the time to go. He knew I cared about him, so it's not like there were things left unsaid. Just made me reflect on how we all say we are too busy to do something, yet really, we are not THAT busy. Time can be made to do the important things.

 

[SweetErika]

If you are only saying it to relieve some guilt that you are carrying around, then keep it to yourself and let the person die in peace. It's your burdon, you take it to your own grave.

No, I didn't mean saying it to relieve your guilt at all. I meant it can be really difficult to tell someone how you feel...that you love them, that you're sorry for something, that you forgive them for something in the past, to thank them for making your life better, etc. ... but it's easier on them and you than leaving those words unsaid. I think that applies to nearly every situation, and it's good for the soul.

 

[SweetErika]

Sweet,
It is more than feeling sad. I am saddened at the loss of my friend. I feel tremendous guilt for not going to see him in the hospital. Part of me thought he had been in there numerous times and would be home again soon, part of me thought I was just too tired after work to take the time to go. He knew I cared about him, so it's not like there were things left unsaid. Just made me reflect on how we all say we are too busy to do something, yet really, we are not THAT busy. Time can be made to do the important things.

Well said, and I couldn't agree more. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[seohdwm46]

Well said, and I couldn't agree more. I'm very sorry for your loss.

thank you sweet, you are very kind

hopefully, someone who hasn't yet experienced such a thing can learn from my mistake

 

[Missingmeds]

Don't ever think that someone won't see thru you when you try to avoid certain subjects for whatever the reason.

In my particular case it is someone that is talking behind my back and thinking that I won't find out about it. The problem is that I have learned from bitter experience what to watch for. Don't say anything behind someone's back that you won't say to their face.

 

[seohdwm46]

A person who looks down and to the right when talking to you, is usually lying
A person who looks up and left is very shy

 

[LukkyKnight]

But the best teacher is experience...

That's no reason to piss on an electric fence. Intelligence includes the ability to learn from watching others, and extrapolation.

 

[seohdwm46]

Everything kinda fizzled out in here lately didn't it?

 

[JRaven]

Monogamy is hard. Sometimes a SO will stray not because of you, but because of a desire for the other person. Forgive them and forgive yourself.

 

[Cathleen]

I just added this to the 'quotes' thread but as I think more on it, it sure is great advice for all, regardless of age...

Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?

-Sai Baba

 

[seohdwm46]

I don't recall if I have mentioned this before, forgive me if I have. One can tell a great deal about a person's true character by the way they treat their waitress. Another lesson re-learned just the other day.

 

[Little Bird]

Even with my few 21 years I've allready learned some things,that most people seem never to:

"You learn by faults (as a german saying). But they need not to be done by yourself." - Hold open your eyes an look at the things you see, it may prevent you from repeating a mistake, another one has done before.

Maybe most important: "Listen to the advices of others!" You don't have to agree with them but at least listen what they have to say and think about it. Even though old people may have no knowlwdge of todays life, they don't have to be wrong anytime...

And one thing I have allready learned myself: "If something really has to be done, you can do it!"

I worked at a home for old people the last eight months and worked with stongly dement people. It's the thing most people think they could never do, and are afraid of it, if they see them from far. But when your standing before them and talk to them, even when no sentence makes any sense, than all hesitiation is gone.
Every young man in germany has to do nine month of military service or working in hospitals and the like. As the first started to refuse military service they where called lazy and cowards, but today most recruits admit that they admire the other ones for their courage, they do not have themself...
I think everyone should do it and even young women should choose to do such work for a year voluntary.

 

[seohdwm46]

Even with my few 21 years I've allready learned some things,that most people seem never to:

"You learn by faults (as a german saying). But they need not to be done by yourself." - Hold open your eyes an look at the things you see, it may prevent you from repeating a mistake, another one has done before.

Maybe most important: "Listen to the advices of others!" You don't have to agree with them but at least listen what they have to say and think about it. Even though old people may have no knowlwdge of todays life, they don't have to be wrong anytime...

And one thing I have allready learned myself: "If something really has to be done, you can do it!"

I worked at a home for old people the last eight months and worked with stongly dement people. It's the thing most people think they could never do, and are afraid of it, if they see them from far. But when your standing before them and talk to them, even when no sentence makes any sense, than all hesitiation is gone.
Every young man in germany has to do nine month of military service or working in hospitals and the like. As the first started to refuse military service they where called lazy and cowards, but today most recruits admit that they admire the other ones for their courage, they do not have themself...
I think everyone should do it and even young women should choose to do such work for a year voluntary.

You have learned much in so few years my friend.

 

[RedIntense]

IT IS ALWAYS OKAY TO SAY NO.

This is the concept I am just finally coming to embrace, and I feel so much less stressed already. No matter what the situation, you always have the right to say no. Be it in sex, to a boss demanding more hours, to a sibling who is abusing the family bond, or a guest overstaying their welcome... it is always okay to say no. And anyone who ever tries to make you feel guilty for saying no is not worth your time. Do not let people pressure you into things that you do not want to do.

 

[silverwhisper]

i've lurked in this thread for some time and have never felt i had anything to add but can now think of a few:

do not make important decisions when tired, drunk or angry if at all possible.
do make time for the important things. if time is currency, spend it wisely.
do not sacrifice the future for the now.
pay off your credit cards in full, immediately. if you can't afford to, spend less. if you can't afford it now, save up.

ed

 

[seohdwm46]

i've lurked in this thread for some time and have never felt i had anything to add but can now think of a few:

do not make important decisions when tired, drunk or angry if at all possible.
do make time for the important things. if time is currency, spend it wisely.
do not sacrifice the future for the now.
pay off your credit cards in full, immediately. if you can't afford to, spend less. if you can't afford it now, save up.

ed

Ed, thank you so much for adding to our contributions. Please don't feel you have nothing to add. We have all had things occur in our lives we have learned from that are worthy of passing on to others. Hope to hear more from you soon. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge. Very wise messages you posted.

 

[seohdwm46]

IT IS ALWAYS OKAY TO SAY NO.

This is the concept I am just finally coming to embrace, and I feel so much less stressed already. No matter what the situation, you always have the right to say no. Be it in sex, to a boss demanding more hours, to a sibling who is abusing the family bond, or a guest overstaying their welcome... it is always okay to say no. And anyone who ever tries to make you feel guilty for saying no is not worth your time. Do not let people pressure you into things that you do not want to do.

Absolutely. The world is full of people who will take advantage of the generosity and kindness of people who for whatever reason, don't say no. By not saying no, we are subjecting ourselves to the whims of others. By saying no, you will not only avoid doing things you don't want to do, but will most likely gain respect from those around you. Who knows, you may even give someone else the strength to do the same.
Congratulations on being able to stand up for yourself. That is one of life's most difficult feats.

 

[seohdwm46]

I forget exactly who coined this phrase, perhaps was Charles Stanley, but I was reminded of it due to a previous post.

We spend money we don't have, to buy things we don't really need, to impress people we don't even know.

 

[seohdwm46]

Some people are with others who are a bad influence on them, are disrespectful to them, abuse them, or don't actually love them, simply because they are more afraid of being alone than being in that particualar situation. I hope, those people can muster the courage to break free and no longer settle for crumbs in life....seek the entire loaf of bread.

 

[seohdwm46]

Differences in men and women. Women warm up like a crock pot. Men warm up like a microwave. Be patient.

 

[seohdwm46]

Every day we spend with those we love should be cherished. You never know when it will come to an end. When you are having feelings that you love them, tell them then and there. There may be no tomorrow in which to put it off to. If someone makes you angry or upset, talk about, don't fight. It's all small stuff that needs a bit of tweaking anyway. Seroiusly, how many times does someone tick us off that it is really serious??

 

[Ricwilly]

Only lie in bed, only steal in baseball.

 

[owterspace]

Never

Never let anything come before your family....in the end they are all ya got.