Gender Bending

[Netzach]

My head hurts. We have some people ranting about the consequences of being identifiable, and now about not being identifiable.

We need IFF Transponders for sexuality.

Why is it confusing? The consequences for visibility should not suck so hard. I think that's a pretty consistent message here.

 

[Shankara20]

Shank... am I not suposed to ask a gender bending question on here... I am still new... just jet me know... thanx...

Ask away - I'm glad to see an active gender bending discussion going on.

My post earlier about race was just take care of my fear that we would get off track - and my fear that we could slide into personal confrontations.

Sorry I am not active right now, but I am following the discussion.

 

[Homburg]

Why is it confusing? The consequences for visibility should not suck so hard. I think that's a pretty consistent message here.

Confused because it seems to be a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. I didn't get the feeling that Etoile was trying to reinforce the idea that visibility was the issue. It sounded like she was just ranting (understandably) about invisibility. So I'll agree with the theme being consistent, but the specific message was not.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Confused because it seems to be a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. I didn't get the feeling that Etoile was trying to reinforce the idea that visibility was the issue. It sounded like she was just ranting (understandably) about invisibility. So I'll agree with the theme being consistent, but the specific message was not.

Well, that's kind of the point. As in, someone's performing butch is probably not going to be mistaken for 'straight', but she's going to get shit for being a butch/dyke. Whereas someone like Etoile or me, who are performing femme are constantly mistaken for straight, by both het and queer people alike, and we get shit by both side for not being what we 'should' be, ie, straight like we 'look like', or 'dyke enough'.

And it all comes down to het being the default, 'normal', taken for granted status.

 

[Netzach]

Confused because it seems to be a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. I didn't get the feeling that Etoile was trying to reinforce the idea that visibility was the issue. It sounded like she was just ranting (understandably) about invisibility. So I'll agree with the theme being consistent, but the specific message was not.

Etoile was talking about being invisible among other queer people for not being interested in certain markers or not feeling like certain markers are for you.

Other people have talked about the negative impacts of being visible to people outside the community, marked obviously and read.

I don't think that's contradictory or wanting your cake and eating it too. I think it still boils down to the readiness of the world to shit on queer people and the need for queer people to check for markers in order to feel safe being a semi-sensible reaction to an insane situation. The upshot of which is it sucks that way to be femme, or a butch and unmarked gay dude, but I can certainly see WHY it works that way.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I don't think that's contradictory or wanting your cake and eating it too. I think it still boils down to the readiness of the world to shit on queer people and the need for queer people to check for markers in order to feel safe being a semi-sensible reaction to an insane situation.

Exactly.

 

[Homburg]

I get it. I even agreed to it. I just didn't get it immediately. I got some priviledge in my eye or something =P

 

[Shankara20]

I get it. I even agreed to it. I just didn't get it immediately. I got some priviledge in my eye or something =P

Funny little line, may I use it in my sexual harassment/assault presentations?

 

[Homburg]

Funny little line, may I use it in my sexual harassment/assault presentations?

My dear Shanks, you are welcome to use anything I might say in any presentation you give. You do good work, sir, and if I can help even in being an example of a fat sexist pig-dog, I will happily do so.