get some conversation going on the HT.

[silverwhisper]

hey, don't you have some reading to be doing? jenn 2 and beth 2?

ed

 

[Guest]

 

[KarenDee]

Yup, turkey tommorrow. I'm the masturbaster so I'll be helping my wife at least a little with the cooking tommorrow. I'll probably be in charge of cleanup though.

And my wife is already making all my favorite pies. cherry, blueberry, chocolate cream, and banana cream. I'll weigh 5 pounds more by sunday and my LDL will probably go up too. Oh well.

You having turkey or something else?

Turkey here too. I'm the "dark meat eater" (don't take that the wrong way ) and please, NO GRAVY ON MY MEAT! I made 2 apples pies this morning. I'm having my "special guest" over for dinner as well as the kids, so it'll just be the four of us. Maybe with a little luck I'll get in some exercise later in the day to burn a few calories off!

They're talking about snow...good day for indoor stuff.

 

[M's girl]

Turkey here too. I'm the "dark meat eater" (don't take that the wrong way ) and please, NO GRAVY ON MY MEAT! I made 2 apples pies this morning. I'm having my "special guest" over for dinner as well as the kids, so it'll just be the four of us. Maybe with a little luck I'll get in some exercise later in the day to burn a few calories off!

They're talking about snow...good day for indoor stuff.

Yeah.... Happy Thanksgiving to you all. No turkey for us here.... we don't have Thanksgiving and it's not a tradition at Christmas either. Maybe I'll start one this year...

Was wondering how you and your "special guest" are doing...? Anyway, have a nice time.

All of you!

 

[KarenDee]

Was wondering how you and your "special guest" are doing...? Anyway, have a nice time.

All of you!

Oh we are getting along great! Having a lot of fun together, so much so that I've not been on the web as much, so what does that tell you? Taking things slow and enjoying the new discoveries that we are each making. He's definitely "hang onto" material!

 

[TBKahuna123]

Happy Thanksgiving to you silly Americans.

What, you Torontonians-ites-whatevertheproperabreviation is don't celebrate thanksgiving? What are you gonna do with your thursday then, go watch a hockey game or something like that?

You know, come to think of it, I can't think of anything I'd rather do more on a thursday than watch a hockey game. It would sure beat having to listen to my mother-in-law all day.

Maybe I'll move to Canada! Got room for a 30 year old goalie with bad knees?

 

[TBKahuna123]

And my wife is already making all my favorite pies. cherry, blueberry, chocolate cream, and banana cream.

Well my favorite pie isn't listed, if you know what I mean.

Not that I'll be getting any of that, staying at the mother-in-law's place.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Oh we are getting along great! Having a lot of fun together, so much so that I've not been on the web as much, so what does that tell you? Taking things slow and enjoying the new discoveries that we are each making. He's definitely "hang onto" material!

That's nice.

 

[bisexplicit]

What, you Torontonians-ites-whatevertheproperabreviation is don't celebrate thanksgiving? What are you gonna do with your thursday then, go watch a hockey game or something like that?

You know, come to think of it, I can't think of anything I'd rather do more on a thursday than watch a hockey game. It would sure beat having to listen to my mother-in-law all day.

Maybe I'll move to Canada! Got room for a 30 year old goalie with bad knees?

Canadians have Thanksgiving - it just takes place on the American Columbus Day. (It seems like an awfully silly time to have it, if you ask me.) I'm not celebrating either Thanksgiving this year. Poor me. hehe.

And, thankfully, I think I am dating the only male Canadian not into hockey. Unfortunately, instead, I have to watch bad Canadian sci-fi.

 

[KarenDee]

Well my favorite pie isn't listed, if you know what I mean.

LMFAO.....we could always cook one of those babies up for you!

 

[M's girl]

That's nice.

Seconded! Best reason I can think of for not being on Lit so often...

 

[TBKahuna123]

And, thankfully, I think I am dating the only male Canadian not into hockey.

I didn't know they made those! That's got to be blashpemous, somehow.

 

[TBKahuna123]

LMFAO.....we could always cook one of those babies up for you!

You know the funniest thing was my wife's mom trying to find out what kind of pie to bake. She was on the phone and my wife asks me what my favorite kind of pie is. So I shout out form the other room: Hair Pie!

Yeah, apparently she was on speaker phone at the time and luckily the TV drowned out my reply. Now THAT would have made for an interesting Thanksgiving, especially when my wife woudl ahve had to explain what I meant!

 

[KarenDee]

You know the funniest thing was my wife's mom trying to find out what kind of pie to bake. She was on the phone and my wife asks me what my favorite kind of pie is. So I shout out form the other room: Hair Pie!

Yeah, apparently she was on speaker phone at the time and luckily the TV drowned out my reply. Now THAT would have made for an interesting Thanksgiving, especially when my wife woudl ahve had to explain what I meant!

Or better yet....cream pie!

 

[TBKahuna123]

Or better yet....cream pie!

I'm alright serving that up, but I'm still a little squeamish about diving into a big ole slice of that variety myself. Maybe with a little whipped topping though.

 

[KarenDee]

I'm alright serving that up, but I'm still a little squeamish about diving into a big ole slice of that variety myself. Maybe with a little whipped topping though.

LOL...I'm going to keep replying so you can't go home early!

 

[Quoll]

I don't have time for a real conversation so here is on I prepared earlier.


Waiter: Good evening... would you care for something to talk about?

[He hands them each a menu card with a list of subjects
on.]

Mr Hendy: Oh that would be wonderful.

Waiter: Our special tonight is minorities...

Mr Hendy: Oh that sounds interesting...

Mrs Hendy: What's this conversation here...?

Waiter: Oh that's football... you can talk about the Steelers-Bears
game, Saturday... or you could reminisce about really great
World Series -

Mrs Hendy: No... no, no.

Mr Hendy: What's this one here?

Waiter: That's philosophy.

Mrs Hendy: Is that a sport?

Waiter: No it's more of an attempt to construct a viable hypothesis
to explain the Meaning of Life.

Mr Hendy: Oh that sounds wonderful... Would you like to talk about
the Meaning of Life, darling...?

Mrs Hendy: Sure, why not?

Waiter: Philosophy for two?

Mr Hendy: Right...

Waiter: You folks want me to start you off?

Mr Hendy: Oh really we'd appreciate that...

Waiter: OK. Well er... look, have you ever wondered just why you're
here?

Mr Hendy: Well... we went to Miami last year and California the
year before that, and we've...

Waiter: No, no... I mean why *we're* here. On this planet?

Mr Hendy: [guardedly]... N... n... nope.

Waiter: Right! Have you ever *wanted* to know what it's all about?

Mr Hendy: [emphatically] No!

Waiter: Right ho! Well, see, throughout history there have been
certain men and women who have tried to find the solution to
the mysteries of existence.

Mrs Hendy: Great.

Waiter: And we call these guys 'philosophers'.

Mrs Hendy: And that's what we're talking about!

Waiter: Right!

Mrs Hendy: That's neat!

Waiter: Well you look like you're getting the idea, so why don't I
give you these conversation cards - they'll tell you a little
about philosophical method, names of famous philosophers...
there y'are. Have a nice conversation!

Mr Hendy: Thank you! Thank you very much.

[He leaves.]

Mrs Hendy: He's cute.

Mr Hendy: Yeah, real understanding.

[They sit and look at the cards, then rather formally and
uncertainly Mrs Hendy opens the conversation.]

Mrs Hendy: Oh! I never knew that *Schopenhauer* was a
*philosopher*...

Mr Hendy: Oh yeah... He's the one that begins with an S.

Mrs Hendy: Oh...

Mr Hendy: ... Um [pause]... like Nietzsche...

Mrs Hendy: Does Nietzsche begin with an S?

Mr Hendy: There's an S in Nietzsche...

Mrs Hendy: Oh wow! Yes there is. Do all philosophers have an S in
them?

Mr Hendy: Yeah I think most of them do.

Mrs Hendy: Oh!... Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher?

Mr Hendy: Yeah... Right, she could be... she sings about the
Meaning of Life.

Mrs Hendy: Yeah, that's right, but I don't think she writes her own
material.

Mr Hendy: No. Maybe Schopenhauer writes her material?

Mrs Hendy: No... Burt Bacharach writes is.

Mr Hendy: There's no 'S' in Burt Bacharach...

Mrs Hendy: ... Or in Hal David...

Mr Hendy: Who's Hal David?

Mrs Hendy: He writes the lyrics, Burt just writes the tunes... only
now he's married to Carole Bayer Sager...

Mr Hendy: Oh... Waiter... this conversation isn't very good.

Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sir... We *do* have one today that's not on
the menu. It's a sort of... er... speciality of the house.
Live Organ Transplants.

 

[Quoll]

Feeling feisty? In the mood for an argument?

A man walks into an office.

Man: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment.
Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No.
Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.
Man: Thank you.

He enters room 12.

Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED EVIL PAN OF DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS
STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
M: Oh! Oh I see!
A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
A: Not at all!
A: (under his breath) stupid git.

The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Manpause) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You didn't!
O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.
O: Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(pause)

O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

(pause)

M: It's just contradiction!
O: No it isn't!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn't!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!
(pause)
M: I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
O: Well! it CAN be!
M: No it can't!
M: An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a
proposition.
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just
the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!

The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.

O: Thank you, that's it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That's it. Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!!
O: I'm afraid it was.
M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five
minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
Oh Come on!
Oh this is...
This is ridiculous!
O: I told you...
I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well...
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I-dbct-fd-tq! I don't want to argue about it!
O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH!
Gotcha!
O: No you haven't!
M: Yes I have!
If you're arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily.
I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
M: I've had enough of this!
O: No you haven't.
(door slam)

 

[silverwhisper]

[dubs quoll lit's minister of silly walks]

:>

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

*is bumping this thread to the top to get rid of the horrible sports*

 

[Guest]

 

[bisexplicit]

wait a minute, silver started the sports thread cuz you were complainging about it here.

Apparently, you don't understand.

You're not allowed to talk about things that I don't like talking about, 'cause it bores me. Got it?

 

[silverwhisper]

so scalywag, are you in a fantasy league?

[pokes bi's tummy to see if she makes little pillsbury doughboy noises]



ed

 

[bisexplicit]

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

*squeaks*

 

[silverwhisper]

hey, it's right here in the big brother manual.

[shows bi page 4 of the abridged, 764 page version]

see, right here. it says

the big brother manual sayeth
thou shalt torment younger siblings yea until the ending of days.

ed