Guidance (closed for ericrodman101) [M/M]

[tamgreen]

Toby tried to ignore him, but there was no ignoring those arms that were suddenly wrapped around him; that firm, solid chest that he was being pressed against; and that throbbing heartbeat that reminded him how viscerally satisfying it had been to have this man inside him. He sniffled and cried for a minute or two.

Why? Why not get in the car? Wasn't the answer abundantly obvious?

Reluctant but stubborn, he squirmed out of Gerry's grasp and took a step back, once more glaring at the sidewalk.

"And then what?" he muttered. "I'm not going back there. How can you ask me to go back to that?"

He looked up, suddenly full of anger, despite his teary eyes: "How can you go back there, every fucking day?" he exclaimed. "My whole life I've had people bullying me and bossing me, but what can a kid do about that? You're a grown-ass adult, and you're still being bullied and bossed around. She thinks she's got your balls in a jar, and you just take it! I'm not letting her treat me like trash. I'm done - I'm done with everyone treating me like trash. You know what, Gerry? You know what I've learned? You don't have to take it. You can just fucking walk away. It's that simple. Fucking watch me."

He pushed past Gerry and tried to continue on his way.

 

[ericrodman101]

Toby pushed past Gerry and continued along the street.

“Get in the car Toby,” Gerry called, surprised at how loud he sounded amongst the empty gardens. And maybe a little cross.

But why not? The stupid brat was behaving ridiculously. And after all Gerry had done for him. And after….what they’d done to each other. And had still to do.

Toby was halfway down the block, struggling to keep going with his freshly butt-fucked gait. Where the fuck did he think he was going? Home? Really? After what Gerry had seen. And more to the point, after what Toby had told him.

No. Home was no option. Which left Gerry’s place. Gerry and Andrea’s place. Andrea….

Fucking Jesus! Is this a mess or what? Gerry hesitated. Follow Toby on foot or in the car? Just avoid a scene...

Up ahead, Toby limped across the street. Gerry could see him intermittently between the street trees and the parked cars. He turned back to the car, driver's door open into the street, engine running.

Wait till I catch the little prick, he thought. Little prick….

 

[tamgreen]

Toby could barely walk in a straight line, but he kept up halting along. Not only was his ass hurting, but his vision was blurring now. He was supposed to be pissed off, not sad - he bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to force himself not to get all emotional. All he wanted was to numb over. He wasn't sure he could achieve it without drugs or booze.

He heard Gerry call after him, angrily, and raised both hands with his middle fingers up in the air. Gerry, pissed off - what the hell did he have to be pissed off about? He could find some other boy cherry to pop if he wanted to. What did Toby need with this drama? Fucking drama.

He heard as much as sensed the car following him and tried to ignore it, but soon it became impossible to ignore. Was the man just going to keep driving after him until he exhausted himself, like a lioness after a bleeding zebra?

He heard Gerry call to him again from the open window and finally stopped walking, looking caught between rage and despair.

"What do you want from me? What, Gerry? Are you going to hide me in a closet, or a corner of your garage? Or am I just supposed to go back there with you and let The Bitch sic the police on me and look at me like I'm something stuck to the bottom of her shoe? Is that what you want for me?"

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry swung the car onto the wrong side of the road and pulled up alongside Toby. He called out the boy's name again. Toby stopped walking, turned and yelled back at him.

"What do you want....the bitch...the police...."

Jesus. For a moment Gerry considered putting his foot on the gas and getting the hell outta there as quick as he could. All those other crazy deluded school counsellors who'd fucked their students came back to him. And the grubby jail cells he imagined them occupying until they were paroled and looked for work in warehouses or call centres or sweeping streets. Fucking Jesus.

But then Andrea didn't say anything about fucking. She just thought he was a stray who'd abused Gerry's good nature, spent the night in the day room, and pissed all over her bathroom. That was all. The idea upset Andrea for sure, but as Gerry assessed the problem rationally a smile came to his lips. He switched off the engine.

"Hey Toby," he said as calmly as he could. "Andrea doesn't know what happened. You're not in trouble. So there's piss all over the bathroom. You should see what it's like when her demented father stays with us. Piss. And shit. Everywhere."

Gerry laughed, hoping that Toby might laugh along.

"Piss and shit," he said again. "So get in the car and we can drive somewhere, have breakfast and sort out what we're gonna do. Yeah?"

Toby just stared at Gerry through the window, the teen's face dark and troubled.

"Get in the car, Toby. Please get in the car. I know you're sore and hungry and upset, and I know how to make it better. We can eat and talk and work things out. Together. You...and Uncle Gerry...."

Gerry looked to see if he'd broken the mood. Uncle Gerry. Shit! In deep. Breakfast. Soothing words. Keeping Toby quiet. Then what?

 

[tamgreen]

Toby's frown deepened when the older man laughed. He didn't see what was funny. Gerry's incontinent father-in-law? That was a joke?

Uncle Gerry. Last night, he'd melted at Uncle Gerry, but saying that in a moment like this, with the older man trying so hard to coax him into a vehicle, just seemed to cheapen the whole thing.

"Don't blow smoke up my ass, Gerry," Toby growled through clenched teeth.

Had it always been cheap? Had Metzler played him like a fiddle yesterday, softening him with a show of empathy and a big meal and Hey, kiddo, let's watch some porn together? Was any of it real? Toby had felt special. Maybe he never was. Maybe he was just desperate and easily manipulated.

"Do you know what a fucking predator you sound like right now?" he muttered, keeping his eyes tightly on Gerry's expression. Instinctively he knew that would bother the man.

He wanted to bother Gerry, to needle at him until his true colors showed. Was Gerry just a horny coward who was a doormat to his cheating, domineering harpy of a wife and was now panicking at the idea of his own little affair coming out into the open? Was he a phony who just sat in his office parroting psychological platitudes and whiled away his hours until he could retire and not have to pretend to give a fuck about anyone? Or was there something real here, something that mattered? Could this man offer any of the stability Toby was missing in his life?

"You don't know how to make it better. If you did, you'd tell me right now. Right now."

 

[ericrodman101]

"...make it better...right now..."

And then 'predator'.

Gerry felt the boy's frustration, the pent up sadness and fear of all those years of neglect and torment. It wounded him. Predator wounded him. It stung. Did Toby mean it? Was it true?

Sure he felt sad, but Gerry felt irritated at the same time. So Toby was just a kid. He didn't have Gerry's experience of the world, of analysing and weighing up and making the right choices so that things worked for you. But by God he had experience. There was no denying it. And Gerry already knew how Toby could make things happen, could manipulate an older, more experienced man to get what he wanted. Or what he thought he wanted. Was that what Toby was doing now?

Gerry started to speak, then stopped, slumping over the wheel. Talking like this, Toby on the street and he in the car, wasn't working. Gerry leaned over and opened the rear door behind him, then looked back to Toby.

"Come on, Toby. We can't work things out here on the street. Just get in the car. In the back, see? Where you can sit quietly and comfortably on your own. I'll just drive. Yeah? Just drive while you rest and settle and have a think about....about things."

Gerry so wanted to say 'about us' but somehow that felt like a bridge too far.

"So get in the car Toby. And we'll just drive."

 

[tamgreen]

Toby clenched his jaw tightly. Gerry had nothing - he had no plan, no idea how to fix any of this. He just didn't want Toby limping around his neighborhood potentially embarrassing him. He wanted to yell that at Gerry, to call him on it, but he didn't. He also wanted to demand that Gerry leave his wife or he'd never talk to him again. But he didn't say that either - he knew it wasn't fair. He couldn't possibly rouse the necessary self-esteem to suggest out loud that he should be more important to a man than his own family. He also didn't want to be mean to Gerry anymore. He just didn't want all of this to be so painful.

"Maybe you're the one who needs to think," he finally replied, sounding much less sure of himself than when he'd been yelling at Gerry. "If I get in your car... maybe you'll just drag me back to the dragon's lair. I don't want anything to do with that woman, and if you do, I... I just... it's hard for me to respect you, honestly. But maybe it shouldn't be any of my business. Maybe... this was all a big fat mistake and I never should have butted into your problems in the first place. I guess there's a reason why so many people just don't give a shit about anyone else. You clearly have your life, and I don't fit in it."

He took a cautious step further away from Gerry's car, but he clearly didn't entirely want to leave. He really did just want to sit down, maybe even lay down, and the backseat of Gerry's car was right there, inviting him.

Sighing, despite his words, Toby reluctantly stepped forward again, and this time got into the car, pulling the door shut behind him. He didn't put on his seatbelt - he just stretched out across the seat and turned over, facing the back.

"You can take me back downtown. I'll... figure myself out from there."

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry let Toby rant. It made his heartache, if he was honest with himself. Toby was a pain in the neck, for sure, but the poor kid had good reason. And getting involved with his school counsellor was not going to make anything better.

If Toby was unhappy, this morning or since they met, or tomorrow for that matter, it was now Gerry's responsibility. Well partly, at least. And the longer they were together or involved, Gerry was the responsible adult in the relationship. He couldn't deny it. Couldn't absolve himself of being the one with the foremost obligation to fix whatever was wrong.

Fix. Jesus Gerry. How can you fix what's wrong with Toby?

Eventually Toby's rant subsided, like air from a deflating balloon. Maybe that was the lesson with Toby, Gerry thought. Don't interrupt, don't try to fix things with discourse. Just let the kid talk himself out. One way or another his words run out of puff, slowing to a resigned silence. Just be here, solid, reliable Gerry. Or at least the guy with the wallet who can buy food and a room for the night.

Gerry watched Toby hover by the open car door, never quite resolving to climb inside or walk away. And when the talking stopped and Toby eventually chose to climb aboard, Gerry realised that's how it was always going to end. He just had to be patient and like he said to himself, let Toby talk it out.

He watched Toby stretch himself out on the back seat. It was for the best. Rest awhile, and be unseen by passers by.

"You can take me downtown..."

Gerry started the car. He had no intention of taking Toby downtown.

"We're not going back to the dragon's lair," he said, hoping he sounded reassuring and not as funny as the words felt dropping out of his mouth. The dragon's lair. Not very original, but that must be how Toby felt with Andrea. It's how Gerry felt a lot of the time. The dragon...

Gerry pulled into the road. There was no traffic. He drove on without commentary. The downtown buildings appeared on the right, but he continued towards the river. Glancing in the mirror, Gerry could see the back of Toby's head. Facing away from all the crap he'd encountered up to now, Gerry thought.

Before the river, they crossed the old canal. It ran through the city in its own reservation, once a hive of industry, but now a thickly vegetated strip of wasteland. Gerry paused at a stoplight, then turned onto the old canal path. There were plenty of stopping places here, quiet and secluded where they could rest quietly, or talk things through without interruption.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby kept his eyes tightly shut and pressed his forehead against the upholstery, blocking out the world for a while as Gerry drove. He wasn't paying much attention to the drive, but after several minutes, he gradually became aware that if they were going downtown, they ought to have been there by now. And he didn't hear the usual traffic noises that had been the backdrop of his life until last night.

He squirmed over and pushed himself up just enough to see out the back window. They were on a very secluded looking road, with plenty of scrubby vegetation, remains of broken down fences, gravel, and debris.

It looked like a place someone would go to dump a dead body.

Toby shivered at his own morbid thought. He slowly turned to look at the back of Gerry's head. Would Gerry do something bad to him? Was that why they were here? He'd never had anyone he could trust before, so doubt was natural for him. He came from a world where people dealt with their problems in easy ways, and destructive ways. Was it a terrible thing, to think Gerry Metzler would hurt him, or even kill him? Maybe, but already the small amount of trust he'd given had been broken - they clearly were not going downtown.

"Why... are we here?" he forced out in a weak voice barely above a whisper. "If you just want me to go away... I'll go. I'll go far, far away and I won't get you in trouble, ever."

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry was pleased to have found such a quiet and secluded place so quickly. Toby was obviously distraught and, irritated as Gerry was by Toby's tantrum, he felt for the boy. They would be able to sit quietly in the car here, or even find a grassy place to lie in the sun together and listen to birdsong. It was perfect.

He switched off the engine, closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the serenity. Just the sound of Toby's breathing arose from the back seat. Gerry wondered if he should wake the teen or just let him sleep. The sleep would do him good. He felt the sun on his arm and closed his eyes again. There was no need to hurry anything. All would be well.

"Why are we here...?"

Gerry heard Toby stir and then the faint whisper. 'Why are we here?' He set about composing a soothing response when Toby spoke again.

"If you want me to go away..."

Pardon. Gerry checked in the mirror. Toby was sitting up, apparently staring at the back of Gerry's head, a look on his young face as grim and fearful as any Gerry had seen him sport.

"I won't get you into trouble..."

What the fuck...Gerry turned. Their eyes were close.

"Trouble? I don't....what is wrong with you Toby?"

Gerry sensed he was speaking without thinking.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I care for you, I feed you, I give you a place to stay...I...I wanna do what we've been doing...."

Why be coy, Gerry thought.

"I want us to fuck."

The boy just looked back as if Gerry was speaking another language. It made no sense. Gerry went to speak again, but hesitated. Just get out of the car, he thought. Out in the open where they could speak properly, face to face, away from anyone who might hear them on the street.

"Come on, Toby. Out of the car. Come on," he said, opening the rear door and reaching inside.

 

[tamgreen]

What the fuck was wrong with him? What the fuck wasn't wrong with him? There was nothing Toby could say that wouldn't be wrong. Aggressive mistrust and a naturally defensive, if not combative, instinct was what life had taught him would keep him alive, even if it had also gotten him into extra trouble in situations where that instinct wasn't useful. The problem was, he didn't know the difference between one situation and another. Was Gerry his salvation, or his doom? Could be either, could be both, he didn't fucking know. He didn't know a goddamn thing.

Now Gerry was going on about how he'd cared for him, fed him, given him a place to say - yeah, just like mom. Good old mom, who he was supposed to have thanked for every minute of his precious existence even if she'd turn around the day after feeding him to tell him, all sloppy drunk, that he was a worthless sack of shit who needed to get out of her life and quit hassling her. Did Gerry want a medal for giving him one night of solace? It was only a matter of time before Gerry would want him the hell out of his life, but for now, he apparently wanted to fuck. Of course he did, because Toby's ass wasn't sore enough.

He made a weak, whiny noise of protest when Gerry took his arm and pulled him out into the sunlight. It looked like there was no one around for miles - Gerry really could strangle him to death right here if he wanted to, and leave him in the bushes, but no. They were here to fuck. To fuck!

Toby squirmed and frowned and turned away from him, like a bratty toddler refusing a spoonful of food.

"You wanna fuck?" he exclaimed. "Go home and fuck your stupid wife. Your stupid, horrible bitch wife who's probably crawling with STDs. Go home and fuck and I hope you get the clap, Gerry! Or just go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself, Gerry, you fucking loser! You don't get to own my ass because you bought me a steak. I'm a goddamn human being - I'm not your toy to keep in a drawer for when you're horny. Does it make you feel like a big man to use a kid? Does it make up for every time your wife barks at you and makes your balls shrink, and every time you roll over for her like a dumb dog? I fucking hate you, Gerry!"

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry gripped Toby's arm and dragged him out of the car. The kid squirmed and struggled. A wave of power swept through Gerry, followed immediately by fear. He felt light headed, the sun in his eyes, the scent of bushes and fresh earth mixing with car fumes. He wanted Toby to look into his eyes, but the teen turned away.

And then came the rant. Just Toby venting like every other time. But vicious. '...fuck your stupid wife...crawling with STDs...' Gerry shook Toby, trying to make him turn around, to face him, say it directly. Whatever he had to say. Get it out of his system.

"Go fuck yourself, Gerry, you fucking loser...I fucking hate you, Gerry!"

And then a silence. The older man sensed the teen had finished. Toby seemed spent, limp, still facing away, but dangling on Gerry's arm rather than fighting him.

'I fucking hate you, Gerry....'

It was more than fear and power which Gerry felt now. He didn't really have a name for it. Euphoria? It was way more negative than that. He wanted oblivion. Annihilation. To have everything and nothing, to dominate, and be dominated. At the same time...

Gerry shook Toby again, the way a child might shake a dead bird to see if it's still alive. He went to speak, more than once, but nothing came. And then, as Toby seemed to swing round on the end of Gerry's hand, rage.

"You fucking prick, Toby. You fucking, little prick. You asshole. You think it's all about....I don't know what to fucking say, you fucking prick! Stand up when I talk to you. Fucking grow up and look me in the fucking face, Toby. So you think I'm using you. Fucking some dumb kid's ass because it makes me a big man. Jesus fucking Christ, Toby. You're on your own here. It's me or no one. What are you gonna do? Run home to mother. Run home and bury your sad little bruised body in her arms and suckle like a baby. She's not here for you, Toby. I saw your place. I saw the crack den. You want that? Then go, you stupid fucking cunt. Cause that's all there is....."

Still holding tight to Toby's arm, with his free hand he lifted the boy's head up by the chin, the sun in his eyes.

"Or there's me, Toby. There's me. Not your crack whore mother, not fucking Andrea, no one else. Just sad old fucking Gerry. That asshole loser..."

He heard his voice cracking.

"...Gerry. Just a man who...."

 

[tamgreen]

Toby glowered and squirmed and stubbornly resisted looking at him. His stomach was clenching up with hate at everything Gerry said. He stayed clenched up, embracing the rage, so he wouldn't have to face the pain. Nonetheless, there were tears streaming down his cheeks. Mocking him for wanting to be with his mother - that was a low blow. Really low. Toby could dish anything out, but he definitely wasn't taking it well in return.

"...Gerry. Just a man who..."

Toby cut him off with a sharp swat - it was meant to be a solid punch, but although he was scrappy, he wasn't built for fighting. Just a fairly pathetic swat to the old man's gut with his one free hand. He followed up by spitting in the direction of Gerry's face, since the man wouldn't let go of his arm or his chin.

"Shut up!" Toby hollered between angry sobs. "Some fucking good-guy counsellor you are! Tell kids at school they're worth something and can be anything, but once you get your dick in them, they're nothing... and have nothing... but you and your sad old cock! You think you're better than a crack whore or a pimp? You're not! You're worse, because you pretend to be better, with your perfect house and your perfect lawn and your... your job, and your... shirts with buttons!"

He was running out of steam now, shaking with sobs, and tried hitting Gerry again, pounding his small fist against the older man's chest, more like it was a door he was demanding entrance to than a man he intended to hurt.

 

[ericrodman101]

When he began the sentence 'just a man who...', Gerry had no idea how he intended to end it. One idea after another flashed through his head, all of them sounding crazy for a man of his age wanting to be with a youth. But Toby solved the problem by punching him in the gut. Softly, for sure, but followed by spitting in his face. Gerry dropped his hand from under Toby's chin.

Gerry was moved by Toby's anger and enraged at the same time. It was all so pointless and yet expressive. As a school counsellor he'd come across kids like Toby before, with the same sad records and detachment and hatred for authority. Hatred for anyone or anything who might be able to help.

Is that what Gerry wanted to do? Help Toby? In his head 'help' sounded almost like a sick euphemism. If he'd heard it from some other older guy with an interest in someone Toby's age, Gerry would have been skeptical. 'Help' indeed. With that problem in your pants...

Toby was sobbing and hitting out, but without any strength, deflating and weakening with every strike. Gerry held the kid tight and just let him punch away. It might wear him out, Gerry thought, or do him some good.

Helping, Gerry thought. That's what I'm doing. Helping Toby work things through. Helping...

Jesus. Who am I kidding? I've fucked a student. In my charge, Gerry thought. And Toby's words came fast and furious. The punches might be weakening, but the words - whore, pimp, get your dick inside...Jesus. And something about Gerry's perfect life. The older man wasn't listening closely. He realised he was erect. Turned on by the exchange. The rawness and the physicality. So why shouldn't he fuck Toby? Why should I even try to rationalise it? It's done. In the past. This is who I am now. A 53 year old man who fucks his male students. There's no going back.

"So..." Gerry began when it seemed Toby had run out of things to yell at him. "Got that out of your system?" The disdain was unintentional, but it came out all the same. "Have you?" He shook Toby to elicit a response. Any response. Anger. Fear. Cry or laugh. Gerry didn't care. All the rage had subsided as quickly as it had spewed forth. Toby hung at the end of his hand like a ragdoll. Gerry glanced down. His erection was seriously tenting his trousers. Funny how it had come out of nowhere. He looked at Toby. Maybe the kid was erect too. Maybe...

Without taking his eyes from Toby, Gerry reached down with his other hand and undid his zip.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby heard the subtle sound of the zip and looked down, his wet eyes growing wide. Was Gerry going to fuck him - here and now? He didn't know how to feel about this. There was some part of him that was beginning to accept that he belonged to this man, was basically his property now, and he could even find something unexpectedly comforting about that - there was only so much owned property needed to worry about. But wouldn't this mean Gerry truly was some kind of monster? Toby didn't want that to be true. He wanted to hate Gerry for being this person, when Gerry had been the one person he could really be vulnerable with.

And his ass was sore - didn't the man even care about hurting him?

A few more tears streamed down his face before he pushed himself back to anger.

"Don't you fucking dare!" he hollered, his voice cracking. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

But what the fuck was wrong with Toby? He was aroused, too, he quickly realized, especially when he was mad - he couldn't hide it. Something about the catharsis of this whole blow-up had unleashed a lot more than emotion, and throwing anger at Gerry turned him on even more. It was like they wanted to destroy each other and cum all over each other, all at once.

 

[ericrodman101]

"Don't you fucking dare!"

If anything, Gerry realised Toby was as angry as he'd been since running away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Gerry pulled the zip down, loosened his trousers and let his cock flop out. He wasn't quite as hard as he wanted to be if they were going to fuck.

"So your tight little ass is sore, big man?" He wanted to rile Toby. Wanted him to strike out. Lose control. Give Gerry an excuse to....to what?

His cock hardened a little more as he contemplated how he might take Toby, even as contrary thoughts flashed through his head. What the fuck was he thinking? He'd already taken the kid's ass and he was hurting. The awkward gait was enough to show that, however inexperienced Gerry was in such things. Mouth fuck? Hand job? Mutual....? Jesus Christ! Cock out. Erect. The kid spewing hate. Parked in the woods by the canal with no one else about.

Gerry held tight to Toby, letting the kid's vulnerability sink in. And waiting for his conscience to kick in while willing it not to.

Too late. Fuck! Is this who I am now? Jesus! I want this kid and I want him to want me and...what the fuck?

"Fuck me Toby," Gerry heard himself say, almost doubting who was speaking. Yes. The kid was sore, but they were both aroused. Gerry could see Toby's cock swelling in his pants.

"Fuck me." It sounded almost like pleading now. "Fuck me..."

 

[tamgreen]

Toby's eyes grew wide. Fuck Gerry?

Yeah. Fuck Gerry. Fuck him. He can dish it out, but can he take it?

Toby was growing hard, so painfully hard. He was raring for something; there was no denying that. He wasn't about to give up his ass again, not now, but if Gerry was offering his, he would sure as hell take advantage. Make sure the old guy knew how it felt. And Gerry sounded so pathetic now, practically begging - when had Toby ever felt like he had any kind of power? He seized hold of it immediately.

"Yeah, I'll fuck you!" he hollered back. "Get your goddamn clothes off, and I'll show you how it feels. I mean everything - every single bit. I want you naked right here, outside, so if anyone comes by they'll see right away what a little bitch you are!"

Toby was a little afraid of himself now, of the words that were coming out of his mouth. But they were both committed now - there was no coming back from this road they'd gone down.

 

[ericrodman101]

Sure, Gerry had asked to be fucked. But Toby's agreeing to do it threw him. Oh how he wanted to be fucked, in the ass. It had been so long. And Toby, well, seeing this kid standing there almost meekly with a hard on, offering to fuck him. It was an old man's wet dream.

But meek Toby wasn't. He was seething with anger. It rose and fell like waves at sea, one minute red hot, eyes dark, spitting hate words. The next deep down into a trough of silent regret before the next crest foamed up.

"Get your goddam clothes off..."

Gerry was scared and thrilled. This was the point of no return. Toby might have been his fucktoy, but the tables would be turned.

"...and I'll show you how it feels."

Please Toby, please. Show me how it feels...

Gerry loosened his belt and stepped out of his trousers, then his underwear. All the clothes, Toby had said. Gerry fixed his gaze on the kid as he unbuttoned his shirt, then slipped it off. Gerry, 53 year old, married school counsellor stood in the open, naked and erect. They eyed each other. The excitement made Gerry drip with precum. What was Toby thinking behind those fierce eyes?

I am your bitch....

 

[tamgreen]

There were bright spots rising in Toby's smooth cheeks and stormclouds in his eyes. His breath was coming in short, furious huffs. He was at a loss to understand what was happening inside him - it was a thundering inferno roiling out of control, sending blood rushing like lava all over his body, and especially into his groin. The only solution seemed to be to fuck it out.

Undressing had forced Gerry to let go of Toby, and he took a step back to watch, hands on his narrow hips. Seeing the guidance counsellor's nude, vulnerable dad bod out in the open, with his hungry cock straining for release just stoked up the flames inside Toby. Surely the man knew this could be a life-ruining moment for Gerry, should anyone witness it, but here he was, barely hesitating to get naked right here in the open air just because Toby had demanded it. He was salivating.

The teen strutted over to the car, standing taller and more square-shouldered than he normally would. Standing on the verge of fucking another man's ass had that effect, apparently. It didn't feel like a natural role for him, but for the moment, it was taking over, and he was not going to stop now.

He slammed a palm down on the hood of the car, which was still warm from the engine.

"Bend over and spread!" he growled.

The memories of Gerry fucking him roughly in the shower and yelling at him while he did so were returning to Toby in force. The way Gerry had called him a little whore, boy cunt, fuck meat, all sorts of other degrading things. Gerry had kissed and cuddled him and carefully pleasured him and then turned around and treated him like fuck meat the moment he gave up his ass, barked at him about what a slut he was while he took the pounding and sobbed. That was all going to come around on Gerry, oh yes - it was coming around.

"Who's the cunt now, huh?" he snapped, finally unzipping his jeans. "Who's the fuck meat? Who's the whore?"

 

[ericrodman101]

Fuck meat. Whore. Who's the cunt now? A thousand jumbled voices clanged in Gerry's head. He knew he was in charge. He knew he was the man here, and Toby the boy. It was that way when they'd first met, first cuddled, first time Gerry had impaled the kid on his cock and satisfied his demons. He could turn and push Toby away, or down to the ground. Beat him to a pulp. Discard him like a used tissue. Scrape the kid off like dog shit on his shoes.

But something else was happening. In the face of Toby's rage and his own moments of indecision, Gerry felt mute and powerless. Standing naked in a public place, even if they were alone, made him the vulnerable one, the one about to be discovered, identified, shamed and ruined.

Yet breaking out through all the doubts, all the feelings of defeat and annihilation was something else. Gerry tried to name it, but the breeze on his bare ass, and the ache in his cock which wanted to burst, made the name elude him. Euphoria he might have called. Or submission. Or something like lust...

"Bend over and spread," Toby ordered. Gerry did as he was told. The hood of the car was warm from the engine and the sun. The older man felt the metal against his chest, and the edge of the hood folding into his waist.

I will bend over and spread for you Toby. Like you want. There didn't seem any need to vocalise. His instructions were clear. What did he look like bent over the hood, his hairy legs wide apart, his white ass on display? What did it feel like to be fucked up the ass? Fucked up the ass by an angry kid. An angry, sore, used and abused kid whom he'd called fuckmeat and whore and boyslut, and was now calling him the same things.

Fuck. He felt great. Fabulous. Beyond description. It would hurt. It had last time he'd been fucked up the ass so many years ago on that wonderful weekend with Dowoon. But Gerry didn't care. Pain would be part of the experience, the liberation, the freedom to fuck and be fucked, to be used by this cute little bratty kid who'd come into his life by chance.

Gerry replanted his feet in the gravel, adjusted his hands, palms flat on the hood, and prepared to be fucked.

 

[tamgreen]

Good god - he was actually doing it. Gerry was bending over for him, priming to be penetrated. Toby's entire body was throbbing, as if possessed by his cock. He knew he was going to do this, and he was going to do it hard.

At the same time, a part of him was afraid. He was afraid of the world, of Gerry, and of himself. He was afraid of what he might do, and what it might mean, and what would happen on the other side. But maybe this was why he needed this so much. He needed to feel like a man, and feel in charge for a while. In charge of himself, and someone else, to take life by the horns and not be afraid.

He was horny, excited, nervous, furious, and kind of in love all at once. It was as intoxicating as any drug he'd tried.

Without warning, he smacked Gerry's ass sharply with an open palm. It just felt right in that moment, and he was fascinated by the red hand-shaped print that appeared on the tender white flesh. Shortly thereafter, he spread those soft cheeks wide, worked up plenty of saliva, and spat on his hole several times. It was all the lube they had right now, and Gerry would have to deal with it. Spit, and no ceremony. This was what it was gonna be. Fuck, he was hard as steel.

He grabbed Gerry by the hair and pulled his head up a few inches to place his open palm beneath the man's mouth.

"Spit!" he ordered, and waited for Gerry to oblige.

He lubed himself up with the older man's saliva and stepped into position, mouth open, fascinated and exhilarated, pressing the head of his cock against the tight pink hole that waited to be violated.

He growled and dug his fingers into Gerry's flanks as he pushed, finding it hard to get inside at first. He gave another hard thrust and felt himself pop through the ring of muscle. Crying out as if he was the one in pain, Toby raked his fingernails down Gerry's back and started to thrust, too charged up to take anything easy. And he knew this was what the man needed - what he deserved. He wasn't bending over the hood of his car to be made love to - he was here to be fucked.

"Fucking... whore... bitch!" Toby cried out.

 

[ericrodman101]

It was like all those guys in porn films, bending over, offering their buttholes, knowing that behind them unseen the other guy was sizing him up, lubricating, flexing maybe, preparing to claim his prize. That's how Gerry felt. He braced himself, staring dead ahead, focused on a point on the windscreen. It might have been a camera if they were being filmed, and he felt regret that he hadn't been more organised, hadn't talked to Toby earlier and arranged to film the kid's first topping.

Toby smacked his ass. Open palm. It stung, but in a good way. Still, Gerry jumped. He felt hands on his butt cheeks, pulling him open, not gently, but with a modicum of caution. He imagined Toby looking down, eyes darting about Gerry's body, thinking about what was to cum next. Then he heard Toby spit, the warm goo dripping onto his asshole and running down the crack. Lube! Fuck! There was a tube of sunscreen in the glove compartment. Should I mention it, he thought, and kill the moment? The moment....

Gerry's thoughts were broken by Toby grabbing his hair and pulling his head to one side. This was rough, but it's what Gerry would have done in the circumstances. He spat into Toby's palm as directed. So spit was all the lube he was gonna get. Spit and his own ass juices. Was he clean? Did it matter now that the point of no return approached?

Long seconds ticked by. He could heard birdsong and traffic somewhere not too far away. Gerry wanted to say something. Urge Toby on. Tell him to fuck him hard. He didn't really want to be fucked too hard, but he felt for the little guy. He wanted this to be perfect, for Toby anyway. It would be a big moment in the kid's life, remembering bending Uncle Gerry over the car hood and violating him.

Uncle Gerry....Jesus! Toby pushed his cock hard against the target and grabbed Gerry at the same time. It took a second thrust for Toby to break the pressure of Gerry's sphincter and pop inside. The older man cried out even as he heard the boy crying. And then the thrusting. Hard. Deep. Determined. The breath caught in Gerry's throat and he couldn't seem to recover it again. Jesus! Fuck!

"Fucking...whore...bitch," Toby cried out. Gerry vocalised in response, the smart words forming in his head but coming out as "Fuck, errgh, fuck" instead. This was no gentle exploratory fuck. Toby might be a novice, but he was making the most of what had come his way this morning. And what could Gerry do but make the most of it too. Make...the...most...of...ITTTT....FUCK!

 

[tamgreen]

Toby growled back at him like an animal. He was all animal for a while, rutting, ready to sink his teeth into the back of the older man's neck like a lion in heat if he could have reached it. Gerry was hot and so tight around his pulsing cock - it was an intensely pleasurable physical experience, and he tried to focus one hundred percent of his attention on that, but there was so much going on inside him.

All the fury and resentment and hurt he'd been carrying throughout his terrible eighteen years of life was churning and screaming in him. It was rising to the surface. Every authority figure who'd let him down, every asshole who'd pushed him around, every creep who hung around his mom and then grabbed him instead when her back was turned....

"Fuck!" Toby screamed out between heavy, raging sobs. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck... you, FUCK!"

He grabbed Gerry's hair again and held onto it while he slammed into the older man, pouring it all out. He was close to cumming now, so close, and it felt like venom rising in him.

 

[ericrodman101]

This was no act of love. Toby was growling and thrusting, scratching Gerry's skin, punishing his asshole and the tender passage inside. Every time Gerry thought of something to say, Toby would pump him, and he'd cry out in pain. It was painful. Seriously so. But compelling. He wanted it to stop and he wanted it to last forever. He wanted the boy to cement their bond, realise that fucking an older man was more than just an emotional release, but something for a longer time. Special. Fulfilling....UGH!

It was too much to ask. Gerry knew even as he craved hearing something more poetic from Toby than 'fuck you'. But then, it's what he would have done. Had done. It's what he'd said fucking Toby. And what he'd felt. Fuck you Toby, you little shit!

Toby grabbed Gerry's hair, pulling tight, tearing at his scalp, paying no regard to his partner's comfort and wellbeing. It was just a fuck, an emotional release. Gerry understood it was all he could expect, all he deserved. He'd had his fun and now he was paying.

The older man struggled to breathe, struggled to keep his feet planted on the ground. Only the edge of the hood and the pressure Toby was exerting from behind kept him upright. It would stop soon, it would stop. Don't stop....

 

[tamgreen]

Toby didn't stop. Nothing would have stopped him now. But as he fucked his way closer to orgasm, his movements became a little less violent, and his growls, grunts, and curses eased down into whimpers and sighs. His savagery was nearly spent, having boiled off and left a layer of vulnerability beneath.

"Oh... oh... ohhh..."

His hips jerked forward and then stilled for several moments as the intensity of his climax took over his body, freezing him in place as his mouth hung open in a silent scream. His body was following its primal animal instinct, ensuring his sperm got where it needed to go and stayed there.

When it finally let go, Toby let out a long groan of relief and collapsed down over Gerry's body, softly sobbing as his warm hands clumsily petted the old man's shoulders, as if to soothe him.

"Oh god, I'm sorry," he blubbered, feeling like he'd done a terrible thing. "I'm sorry..."