~~Haiku River~~

[wildsweetone]

three rivers collide
in harmony
trinity

a hawk

hawk on the wing
three rivers at twilight -
a snail path

 

[bluerains]

bird on a wire
tripping on twilight spiders
path moon reflected

 

[bluerains]

rain drenches serenity
twilight Possesses river
we ingest its beauty

 

[wildsweetone]

i'm going to add different Haiku into this thread if nobody minds too much. please feel free to ignore or bounce off them if you like. i'm just enjoying learning the form and am inundated with images - not all relate to the river theme, kind of free and easy thinking.



wind blown waves
...gulls in flight
shimmer

 

[wildsweetone]

sun
...on a dandelion
...among the ruins

 

[My Erotic Trail]

i'm going to add different Haiku into this thread if nobody minds too much. please feel free to ignore or bounce off them if you like. i'm just enjoying learning the form and am inundated with images - not all relate to the river theme, kind of free and easy thinking.



wind blown waves
...gulls in flight
shimmer

nice poem... haiku is haiku if it moves one from the inside out from reading outside in.

 

[wildsweetone]

nice poem... haiku is haiku if it moves one from the inside out from reading outside in.

i think i understand what you're saying, but can you explain it a little plainer for me please? i just want to make sure i know what you're saying.

 

[bluerains]

i'm going to add different Haiku into this thread if nobody minds too much. please feel free to ignore or bounce off them if you like. i'm just enjoying learning the form and am inundated with images - not all relate to the river theme, kind of free and easy thinking.



wind blown waves
...gulls in flight
shimmer

sea of glass reflects
dinner for a hungry gull
his dive so graceful...

 

[wildsweetone]

i saw this idea on another website so am fiddling with my own to see what happens. (please feel free to ignore it, i just needed somewhere to think out loud).


1. oak tree bark
rocky alp river
an unwalked path



or

2. oak bark
rocky river
an unwalked path

or

3. tree skin (bet i can't have the word skin)
rocky river
an unwalked path

or

4. tree bark
rocky river
an overgrown path


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. oak tree bark
rocky alp river
an unwalked path


2. oak bark
rocky river
an unwalked path

i don't like the word 'bark' it reminds me too much of dog, but the word is in both so i need more. 1 is more specific, but to me seems 'wordy', if the word 'alp' was 'alpine' it might 1 might seem to 'sound' better. but i like the stark effect of 2.

~~~~~

3. tree skin (bet i can't have the word skin)
rocky river
an unwalked path

4. tree bark
rocky river
an overgrown path

i don't know about 'skin' - it is defined in the dictionary as relating to an animal therefore a tree cannot have skin in Haiku (in my opinion). so 4 goes through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. oak bark
rocky river
an unwalked path

4. tree bark
rocky river
an overgrown path

two words different in each of these ku - oak/tree and unwalked/overgrown. hmm

oak specifies the tree type. is this easier to imagine? in prose it is better to be specific, it gives a more concrete image. the same in poetry? *thinking* okay i like it because not all trees have the same type or 'feel' to their bark, oak fits what i want to say.

now unwalked/overgrown. i like 'unwalked' but my instinct tells me 'overgrown'. walked has an element of human action about it. overgrown infers no human contact at all.

i have to keep the word 'bark' because i can't think of another that refers to that part of the tree. 'trunk' smacks of elephant. saying 'oak tree' doesn't give me a specific image of the bark of the tree. at this point, bark stays.


so it looks like a mixture...

oak bark
rocky river -
an overgrown path


well, that was fun. lol

 

[My Erotic Trail]

a river
still

moves me

 

[wildsweetone]

now that's a trick one.


from a mountain
to a mountain -
haru no umi (spring sea)

 

[bluerains]

a river
still

moves me

still water reflects
its oaken evanescence
roots of a sapling

 

[My Erotic Trail]

still water reflects
its oaken evanescence
roots of a sapling

exposed roots
an oak tree's feet
toes in the river

 

[My Erotic Trail]

Ghost river
of mud and sand
a brown ribbon

 

[wildsweetone]

snow melts -
flake by flake
a river

 

[My Erotic Trail]

snow melts -
flake by flake
a river

cold water rapid
a mountain top falls
mirror river

 

[wildsweetone]

cold water rapid
a mountain top falls
mirror river

grief! i agonise over these things for hours and it seems like you splurt them out the end of your fingertips just like that! i'm jealous!



white water rapids
avalanche -
spring clouds

 

[My Erotic Trail]

grief! i agonise over these things for hours and it seems like you splurt them out the end of your fingertips just like that! i'm jealous!



white water rapids
avalanche -
spring clouds

Hours? Hours? hunni, I aint got too many more hours left in my day, <grin>

soft clouds kiss
the river's lapping shore
water's rippled sky

 

[My Erotic Trail]

exposed roots
an oak tree's feet
toes in the river

three rivers collide
in harmony
trinity


The River
still

moves me

Ghost river
of mud and sand
a brown ribbon

(in retro contemplation)

 

[My Erotic Trail]

a silent cove
sacturary to the river's current
tranquility passing

 

[wildsweetone]

a silent cove
sacturary to the river's current
tranquility passing

oh that's interesting... i never thought of the river's current being tranquil.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

liquid stars
zig zags the moon
on a rippled river

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.
cherry blossom -
a kayak on the river
floats
.
.
.

 

[DiversePuppets]

Women blossoms
into wonderful ladies
then there's war

 

[bluerains]

buried in time silt
means of mass destruction
translates her war dance