~~Haiku River~~

[My Erotic Trail]

swells against swells
rippled raging white water
tranquil turmoil wars

 

[wildsweetone]

two clouds pass
...white water

 

[bluerains]

two clouds pass
...white water

*******************************

as doves perch upon
branches leaning into winds
of a peaceful day

 

[wildsweetone]

white doves
..in the sky
..on an endless path




(that word 'endless' still fascinates me)

 

[My Erotic Trail]

(sparked on bluerain's SM thread...)


Post, 'No Swimming'
'Sharks' along the ocean's shore
timber has no fear

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.
.
river mist
...no shadows

.
.
.
.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

fixed wings soar
in repeated circles
I lay still, watching

 

[bluerains]

fixed wings soar
in repeated circles
I lay still, watching

wings in slow flight stall
glowing circles plucking wind
watching butterflies

 

[My Erotic Trail]

wings in slow flight stall
glowing circles plucking wind
watching butterflies

the mind's chime
reality in clear vision
thoughts silence

 

[LeBroz]

Here's a sneak peek at my first haiku attempt that I just submitted......

~ Love ~

A moment in time
filled with love lasts forever,
but lust comes and goes.

An interesting minimalist structure with so many rules for just 17 syllables...

 

[bluerains]

Here's a sneak peek at my first haiku attempt that I just submitted......

~ Love ~

A moment in time
filled with love lasts forever,
but lust comes and goes.

An interesting minimalist structure with so many rules for just 17 syllables...

in is out and in
filling vortex of our love
love is push and pull

 

[LeBroz]

in is out and in
filling vortex of our love
love is push and pull

So much said with so few words...

I grok
.
.

 

[wildsweetone]

Here's a sneak peek at my first haiku attempt that I just submitted......

~ Love ~

A moment in time
filled with love lasts forever,
but lust comes and goes.

An interesting minimalist structure with so many rules for just 17 syllables...

so many rules is right. but it's amazing seeing the end result.

 

[LeBroz]

so many rules is right. but it's amazing seeing the end result.

Oh, I don't know about this one. I guess it'll show up Monday and we'll see how it's welcomed. But the way I see it, it's not enough to just adhere to the 'rules' but to also be clear enough for the reader to be able to apprehend what the writer's trying to convey.

.

 

[bluerains]

so many rules is right. but it's amazing seeing the end result.

I think the main thing to watch for is the line between senryu and haiku...

"Human haiku (more often called senryu) include only references to some aspect of human nature (physical or psychological) or to human artifacts. They possess no references to the natural world and thus have no season words. (Human haiku) comprise about 20-25% of published work."

"Nature haiku have no reference to humans or human artifacts and often have season words or kigo. They are what people typically assume haiku to be and comprise only around 20% of published work (in the best periodicals and anthologies)."
*

 

[My Erotic Trail]

Here's a sneak peek at my first haiku attempt that I just submitted......

~ Love ~

A moment in time
filled with love lasts forever,
but lust comes and goes.

An interesting minimalist structure with so many rules for just 17 syllables...

I like it, it is filled with truths
I will be sure to look for it Leon, thanks for the sneek peek.

 

[LeBroz]

I like it, it is filled with truths
I will be sure to look for it Leon, thanks for the sneek peek.

Glad you liked it. Putting together a coherent thought in 17 syllables is not as easy as it at first looks. And blue's distinction between haiku and senryu should make engaging in such writes all that more --- interesting.

.

 

[wildsweetone]

Leon, I don't know if I've asked you... have you read jthserra's Haiku essays?
I've put them on the Haiku thread (thanks to mouse's prompting), they make interesting reading.

 

[bluerains]

Glad you liked it. Putting together a coherent thought in 17 syllables is not as easy as it at first looks. And blue's distinction between haiku and senryu should make engaging in such writes all that more --- interesting.

.

ty Leon ..I tend to flow with the senryu as the rules are bent toward my foibles


Literary Characteristics of Senry? – Senry? verse deals primarily with everyday people in everyday situations. One need not be a specialist to compose it. In fact, one notable characteristic of the Yanagidaru collections was that the poets remained anonymous; the tastes shown by the selector gave the collection its only touch of personal identity. In presenting historical legends it gives them a popular twist, and it tends to treat nature and living things from a distinctly human perspective. The qualities that give literary value to senry? are the light, witty realism of its expression and its penetrating, intuitive observation of human foibles and events generally overlooked by poets in other genres. At its best, the keen insights of senry? into social mores and daily life make for superior satire, but its inclination toward sharpness sometimes causes it to take an irresponsibly negative view of mankind and society, falling to the level of mere sarcasm and scandal-mongering.

Article Reference: Kodansha Encyclopedia of Japan

 

[LeBroz]

Leon, I don't know if I've asked you... have you read jthserra's Haiku essays?
I've put them on the Haiku thread (thanks to mouse's prompting), they make interesting reading.

Thanks for the info; I've bookmarked your post with the links so I can turn to it when I'm in "reading mode."

Looking again at my first public try, I notice I have that break that is supposed to be an element of haiku ~ and I wasn't even aware that I'd done it! Talk about stumbling correctly! I think of it as a variant of 'compare & contrast.'

One thing I read about haiku is that there are so many rules, you must pick and choose; some rules even contradict others. In one school of haiku thought you may be thought a master; in another school, a fool. Whatever you do, be consistent.

.

 

[wildsweetone]

Thanks for the info; I've bookmarked your post with the links so I can turn to it when I'm in "reading mode."

Looking again at my first public try, I notice I have that break that is supposed to be an element of haiku ~ and I wasn't even aware that I'd done it! Talk about stumbling correctly! I think of it as a variant of 'compare & contrast.'

One thing I read about haiku is that there are so many rules, you must pick and choose; some rules even contradict others. In one school of haiku thought you may be thought a master; in another school, a fool. Whatever you do, be consistent.

.

what you say is interesting. i think it in some way relates to form poetry of any kind. learn the rules and grow from there. there do seem to be a massive amount of haiku rules. and whilst i was learning them and following them to the 't' i'd discover haiku written by famous poets and it would break near every rule every time.

i don't know if that's because of the difference between the japanese language and the english language (if i can hold my daughter down long enough in the next couple of days, i'll ask her - she has studied japanese for seven years and might have an inkling of an idea).

what i'm doing is learning the rules, and giving myself time to get the 'feel' of them - i.e. writing LOTS to see what fits 'me' best and then... i'll figure out which rules i don't wish to apply to my ku.

i can feel the difference now compared to when i started writing them. i just need to learn how fine the line is in minimalism - i think i overstep it too often still.

so... it's also interesting that the first ku you've written for the public is not haiku but more senryu - relating to humans. maybe that's the direction your preference, your vein of gold, lies. *smile*

i hope you share lots more!

 

[My Erotic Trail]

snow white world
birds in flight collide
with snowflakes

 

[wildsweetone]

snow white world
birds in flight collide
with snowflakes

wow you really got me there! i didn't see that coming at all! lol excellent!

 

[denis hale]

very kewl thread




"she put the giddy up in rummy's gitmo"

Lyndie England sez:
"Kabuki at Abu Ghraib"...
Flies on your brainpan.



the river rolls. i commend thee, thread starter!

 

[My Erotic Trail]

"she put the giddy up in rummy's gitmo"

Lyndie England sez:
"Kabuki at Abu Ghraib"...
Flies on your brainpan.



the river rolls. i commend thee, thread starter!

interesting...ty


I shall not feel
the fish that over take me
yet feel the river forever