Haiku

[wildsweetone]

had it for one and half years...

Lone Star the One legged Mockingbird <grin
I found the poem I wrote about it and posted it on the last post of
"Chasin Chickens"

lol what a wonderful tale! one and a half years. that's a mighty long time i would think. wonderful. i want to read more about him/her.

~

btw i asked my daughter to translate some japanese haiku of Basho's this morning. very interesting exercise. the japanese she has learnt is very formal and there are characters within Basho's haiku that are chinese characters. she managed to pick out a few focus words but was unable to 'fill in the gaps'. it took me a leap of logic to see how the focus words could be strung together to make the translations that i have in this library book.

i don't know anything about japanese language and find it interesting to wonder about Basho and his more 'informal' language. *smile*

i have also been tempted into writing Haiku with only two lines - the translations from this book seem to be most two lines of english.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

lol what a wonderful tale! one and a half years. that's a mighty long time i would think. wonderful. i want to read more about him/her.

~

btw i asked my daughter to translate some japanese haiku of Basho's this morning. very interesting exercise. the japanese she has learnt is very formal and there are characters within Basho's haiku that are chinese characters. she managed to pick out a few focus words but was unable to 'fill in the gaps'. it took me a leap of logic to see how the focus words could be strung together to make the translations that i have in this library book.

i don't know anything about japanese language and find it interesting to wonder about Basho and his more 'informal' language. *smile*

i have also been tempted into writing Haiku with only two lines - the translations from this book seem to be most two lines of english.

'Lone Star'
The lone legged Mocking Bird!

The founder scene was the drive thru, Dairy Queen

A baby bird hobbled and wobbled across the hot pavement
out the car door I went!

The State didn't want their State Bird
they said to say, "it's final words."

For a wing was broke and a leg too,
there was nothing any one could do.

The leg was hanging by a thread of dead skin
the vet said, "do some snipping."

Wrapped the wing and made it a home, open to
the whole living room.

My wife bought crickets from the bait shop
my son caught grasshoppers from around our lot.
I knew where the best fishing worms lived,
to the Mockingbird, supper was fed.

To much surprise, the Mockingbird survived
it found balance with one and a half legs.
It hopped every where till it's wing healed.

Now a name we must give!
The State bird of the Lone Star state
our minds state could relate
call it fate and to this date, my wife named him,

"Lone Star"
the lone legged mockingbird.

He sang to our lives for quite awhile.
He like to land on the black labs back
or in a soft crash land into a baseball cap.

We finally built a cage the size of a wall
the door was left open unless company called.
For Mockingbirds are fearless and territorial.

A part of the family he became
I still think about him to this day

Lone Star
The Lone Legged Mockingbird


(I should polish this and submit, any ideas?)

I was born in Japan so I took Japanesse as an elective and barely speak it to the point of conversation understanding. Sort of like spanish, took it also ...went to mexico and had a lot of "Que" (what?) grin... My father was in the service, so I was born on Tachikawa Air Force base, long time ago <grin

 

[anonamouse]

lol what a wonderful tale! one and a half years. that's a mighty long time i would think. wonderful. i want to read more about him/her.

~

btw i asked my daughter to translate some japanese haiku of Basho's this morning. very interesting exercise. the japanese she has learnt is very formal and there are characters within Basho's haiku that are chinese characters. she managed to pick out a few focus words but was unable to 'fill in the gaps'. it took me a leap of logic to see how the focus words could be strung together to make the translations that i have in this library book.

i don't know anything about japanese language and find it interesting to wonder about Basho and his more 'informal' language. *smile*

i have also been tempted into writing Haiku with only two lines - the translations from this book seem to be most two lines of english.

80% of written Japanese are Chinese characters. Most have very close to the same meaning.
Although a chinese friend saw a sign in Japan that he interpreted as "soup" (it had the water character as the first part of a compound character). It was a public bath.

The reference to Basho's informal langauge were Haiku terms are very codified, i.e. one could write about certain birds, but not others.

 

[wildsweetone]

80% of written Japanese are Chinese characters. Most have very close to the same meaning.
Although a chinese friend saw a sign in Japan that he interpreted as "soup" (it had the water character as the first part of a compound character). It was a public bath.

The reference to Basho's informal langauge were Haiku terms are very codified, i.e. one could write about certain birds, but not others.

please explain your last sentence more, i'm interested... why could one not write of ALL things?

 

[anonamouse]

please explain your last sentence more, i'm interested... why could one not write of ALL things?

I am working from memory, so this should be checked. Japanese literature was influenced by Tale of Genji and Japanese society was also very rigid. All writing mirrored this, very formal. Strict. One could write mentioning cranes, but not crows- too vulgar. They use a set of referents that was understood by all who could write. Fuji a mountain, refers also to Japan, nature meeting heaven.
The cherry blossom; the beauty of the transient moment and the sadness of knowing it will pass.

I suppose that the art of calligraphy may also have played a part. Some characters are more beautiful than others. Compound characters may have imbedded characters that may have had base (pun) connotations.

A good book to pick up is Japanese Death Poems compiled by Yod Hoffmann. These composed outside the normal restraint of the formal settings.
example

Fuyugomori
tsui karazake to
narinikeri

Translated as:
Encased by winter:
before long I'll
become dried salmon.

The word play around "karazake"(dried salmon) would not be normal haiku, or the joke is the reading of I am tired of eating winter food but also meaning I am old (and dying, fuyugomori means hibernation)and wrinkled. (soon I'll be desiccated)
You as a young modern New Zealander would not grasp this as fully as a northern Japanese would.


This type of density (without codes, or established connatations) is tough to do in English.

 

[anonamouse]

Basho was a lonely boy who wrote about bugs, if my memory holds.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

couldron of death
a bowl outside in the hot sun
doodle bugs trapped

 

[wildsweetone]

I am working from memory, so this should be checked. Japanese literature was influenced by Tale of Genji and Japanese society was also very rigid. All writing mirrored this, very formal. Strict. One could write mentioning cranes, but not crows- too vulgar. They use a set of referents that was understood by all who could write. Fuji a mountain, refers also to Japan, nature meeting heaven.
The cherry blossom; the beauty of the transient moment and the sadness of knowing it will pass.

I suppose that the art of calligraphy may also have played a part. Some characters are more beautiful than others. Compound characters may have imbedded characters that may have had base (pun) connotations.

A good book to pick up is Japanese Death Poems compiled by Yod Hoffmann. These composed outside the normal restraint of the formal settings.
example

Fuyugomori
tsui karazake to
narinikeri

Translated as:
Encased by winter:
before long I'll
become dried salmon.

The word play around "karazake"(dried salmon) would not be normal haiku, or the joke is the reading of I am tired of eating winter food but also meaning I am old (and dying, fuyugomori means hibernation)and wrinkled. (soon I'll be desiccated)
You as a young modern New Zealander would not grasp this as fully as a northern Japanese would.


This type of density (without codes, or established connatations) is tough to do in English.

Basho began writing Haiku at 23 and he died when he was 50 in 1694 (perhaps that was considered a 'ripe old age' back then, I don't know).

So you're saying it is more of a 'formal' way of writing with regard to the choices made on subjects. My understanding is that subjects were chosen and written with more positive connotations. Anything with a negativity (or joke) was not considered 'good form' for Haiku and was frowned upon.

Crows to me have a connotation indicating a death or omen of some description, is that what you meant by being too vulgar?

I'm not so sure the density you refer to is tough to do in English (the humour is not particularly my own preference to write), I am certain there are many poets who could write in such a manner. I also think there are expected meanings with many english phrases/words... it would be harder to find words that don't have codes.

And the density is likely to be picked up by other more experienced readers of poetry - I liken the double meaning to some of the poetry the experienced poets on Lit share (maybe that is what you meant by my 'youth' and if it is, I agree).

From what I understood, writing like that is not considered Haiku. But then, if I look at some of Basho's Haiku I get the feeling it's pretty close to borderline acceptable from the 'rules' I've read...

Basho

Basho uete
Masu nikumu ogi no
Futaba kana

The Banana

I have planted a banana, and forthwith
Do hate young shoots of reed.

I would have expected the word meaning 'hate' to ring bells in every temple.


I will see what I can find about the Tale of Genji and will also see if I can hunt down the Hoffmann compilation, thank you for mentioning them.

My own preference is to write what I see, what I feel. I understand that Haiku refers only to the natural world, but something Senna has written has made me think a lot. My natural world includes manmade things i.e. planes, concrete, buildings... It goes against my instincts to marry up Haiku with such things, but perhaps that is progression.

Thank you for giving me food for thought.

 

[wildsweetone]

Basho was a lonely boy who wrote about bugs, if my memory holds.

From the Haiku I have read, he wrote about all of nature - sunsets, flowers, plants, bugs, birds, moon, sun, the wind lol etc.

 

[wildsweetone]

couldron of death
a bowl outside in the hot sun
doodle bugs trapped

What is a doodle bug?

I used to put the cat bowl in a tray of water so the ants wouldn't get his dinner. The trick was to make sure the tray was of the right size because the cat didn't like getting his paws wet.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

leaves over leafs
tree limbs branch and sprout
songs of birds and bugs

 

[wildsweetone]

leaves over leafs
tree limbs branch and sprout
songs of birds and bugs

actually now, that's very clever.

showoff.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

actually now, that's very clever.

showoff.

You want the moon?
I bend over and show you
a bright show off

 

[wildsweetone]

You want the moon?
I bend over and show you
a bright show off

bent rays
between a mountain range
sunrise

 

[anonamouse]

Basho began writing Haiku at 23 and he died when he was 50 in 1694 (perhaps that was considered a 'ripe old age' back then, I don't know).

So you're saying it is more of a 'formal' way of writing with regard to the choices made on subjects. My understanding is that subjects were chosen and written with more positive connotations. Anything with a negativity (or joke) was not considered 'good form' for Haiku and was frowned upon.

Crows to me have a connotation indicating a death or omen of some description, is that what you meant by being too vulgar?

I'm not so sure the density you refer to is tough to do in English (the humour is not particularly my own preference to write), I am certain there are many poets who could write in such a manner. I also think there are expected meanings with many english phrases/words... it would be harder to find words that don't have codes.

And the density is likely to be picked up by other more experienced readers of poetry - I liken the double meaning to some of the poetry the experienced poets on Lit share (maybe that is what you meant by my 'youth' and if it is, I agree).

From what I understood, writing like that is not considered Haiku. But then, if I look at some of Basho's Haiku I get the feeling it's pretty close to borderline acceptable from the 'rules' I've read...

Basho

Basho uete
Masu nikumu ogi no
Futaba kana

The Banana

I have planted a banana, and forthwith
Do hate young shoots of reed.

I would have expected the word meaning 'hate' to ring bells in every temple.


I will see what I can find about the Tale of Genji and will also see if I can hunt down the Hoffmann compilation, thank you for mentioning them.

My own preference is to write what I see, what I feel. I understand that Haiku refers only to the natural world, but something Senna has written has made me think a lot. My natural world includes manmade things i.e. planes, concrete, buildings... It goes against my instincts to marry up Haiku with such things, but perhaps that is progression.

Thank you for giving me food for thought.

Not quite saying that. Japanese society had a pretty uniform set of connotations, you were expected to play with those. Basho was pretty revolutionary.

This type of established sensibility was attempted in English poetry once, but America being America (but speaking English) changed it. You still can see it in certain "schools".

As for you not getting the full impact, I meant I don't think you were ever buried in snow, eating the dried fish you caught in the summer.

BTW, I am impressed with your growth, thought. Keep it up.

 

[wildsweetone]

Not quite saying that. Japanese society had a pretty uniform set of connotations, you were expected to play with those. Basho was pretty revolutionary.

This type of established sensibility was attempted in English poetry once, but America being America (but speaking English) changed it. You still can see it in certain "schools".

As for you not getting the full impact, I meant I don't think you were ever buried in snow, eating the dried fish you caught in the summer.

BTW, I am impressed with your growth, thought. Keep it up.

Ah, I haven't read much prior to Basho. I should do that.

And I understand about the full impact now, thanks, you're right... in some ways, I've not experienced many things. The funny thing is, I prefer to write non-fiction for Haiku, non-fiction based on my own experience. It would be degrading to the form to write otherwise, in my opinion.

As for your last thought, thanks. I am a life learner and it'll take me beyond this lifetime to learn what I wish to know. *smile*



Do you know how Chinese characters came to be among Japanese characters in Haiku?

 

[tungtied2u]

the future beckons
offers a hand of promise
surprise! a clenched fist

 

[BooMerengue]

dirty Bowery street
head down, fists clenched frozen
a shiny coin, a life change!​

 

[My Erotic Trail]

noisey hustle of the city
to the sound of a coin dropped
everyone everywhere looks

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.

the mynah sits
on the flax
....a flower
.
.
.



i think my kireji is not quite right

 

[My Erotic Trail]

.
.
.

the mynah sits
on the flax
....a flower
.
.
.



i think my kireji is not quite right

in my computer
an excercise wheel I hear
Gerbals running

 

[wildsweetone]

in my computer
an excercise wheel I hear
Gerbals running

Gerbals? *shudder* I am so not writing about gerbals!

 

[My Erotic Trail]

Gerbals? *shudder* I am so not writing about gerbals!

<laughing...>

a bull frog bellows
another replys
it responds

 

[wildsweetone]

...sounds like you wouldn't get much sleep


.
.
.

swallow
..under the eaves
..in the air
.
.
.

 

[Remec]

beneath eaves,
paper-protected
~wasps