Haiku

[wildsweetone]

Thank you, WSO

I have read jim's haiku essays. They are excellent, very informative. I understand the "rules" per say, I just have trouble deciding how to place the lines, which should come first, what order. The nuances, I guess cannot be taught, must be learned, must be felt,. I have also read of another style of haiku, not so strict in the oriental roots of the art. i thought that is where you were going with this thread....oh well, I will keep trying. and of course, I will ask you for info, you are very good! That day you were describing the events in your yard and through the fence, well, that was poetic!!

I havent seen any new dogwood sprouts yet, it will be a month or so before the all of the spring things begin their climb from the soil to sun, but the daffodils have emerged, they are 4 inches tall so far and have the little flower buds encases in the papery skin that holds them until they finally burst free. I cant wait!! February is usually our wettest, coldest month, glad it is the shortest as well .



maria

anyone can post any Haiku they like in here. i know lots are not learning writing ku as i have been and that's perfectly fine with me i don't mind at all. so, please post here because i learn from you too.

there are other sites online that might help you further. Jane Reichhold has some really excellent essays too.

what is the other, not so strict, style of haiku you've read? i'd love to read about it.

you know, when you describe what you can see around you, all i can do is sit dumbfounded and enjoy the images you conjure up in my mind. i live in a subdivision (houses all around. yuck!) and miss my wild bush property more than i can say. you bring it back for me. thank you



with this haiku form, i often sit and fiddle with the words and lines until i get a feeling of 'oneness'. it's when everything seems to slip together like a correctly placed jigsaw puzzle. i've got that feeling with 'a shadow' and with a few others sprinkled here and in the river haiku thread. it's like when you tell a story and you know you have the order right because the story flows from beginning to end (no flashbacks) and it makes sense and answers many questions.

i have an instinct that's telling me that what i want to see you write is not going to be possible in a haiku because you do it so excellently in longer forms. watching your haiku is going to be absolutely fascinating.


sorry, i'm waffling again.

 

[Maria2394]

anyone can post any Haiku they like in here. i know lots are not learning writing ku as i have been and that's perfectly fine with me i don't mind at all. so, please post here because i learn from you too.

there are other sites online that might help you further. Jane Reichhold has some really excellent essays too.

what is the other, not so strict, style of haiku you've read? i'd love to read about it.

you know, when you describe what you can see around you, all i can do is sit dumbfounded and enjoy the images you conjure up in my mind. i live in a subdivision (houses all around. yuck!) and miss my wild bush property more than i can say. you bring it back for me. thank you



with this haiku form, i often sit and fiddle with the words and lines until i get a feeling of 'oneness'. it's when everything seems to slip together like a correctly placed jigsaw puzzle. i've got that feeling with 'a shadow' and with a few others sprinkled here and in the river haiku thread. it's like when you tell a story and you know you have the order right because the story flows from beginning to end (no flashbacks) and it makes sense and answers many questions.

i have an instinct that's telling me that what i want to see you write is not going to be possible in a haiku because you do it so excellently in longer forms. watching your haiku is going to be absolutely fascinating.


sorry, i'm waffling again.

the part of yoru quote I put in bold, that is the part I am still waiting for!! Thank you for helping me and for being so sweet, sweetie

youre probably right about it coming out in a lonegr form, I just want to be able to do a ku!! whaa whaa

I was just refering to an Americanized version, not so strict on syllable count because the translation is not exact with the languages involved. I have a site i visit on occasion I will look for the link. Maybe a senryu would be better for me, maybe...

 

[wildsweetone]

the part of yoru quote I put in bold, that is the part I am still waiting for!! Thank you for helping me and for being so sweet, sweetie

youre probably right about it coming out in a lonegr form, I just want to be able to do a ku!! whaa whaa

I was just refering to an Americanized version, not so strict on syllable count because the translation is not exact with the languages involved. I have a site i visit on occasion I will look for the link. Maybe a senryu would be better for me, maybe...

i have just decided to spoil myself and have printed out Basho's Haiku from the Jane Reichhold site. 10 pages of blissful reading coming up over several days.

if anyone can do a ku you can. and you'll do it way better than anything i've ever managed, i know that much.

i think... maybe part of the 'feeling' thing is also in knowing that i've met the criteria that i wanted to meet in writing the ku. it's not just portraying an image, but also in doing it the right way... maybe. i don't know for sure... i'll think about that some more. *smile*

senryu - now i haven't even peeked at senryu. i think that senryu is based on humour and/or human nature, and that my dear lady, is the limit of my knowledge on the form. lol

and based on that little bit of knowledge, i'd say it's definately haiku you should be trying. does that cheer you up?

 

[wildsweetone]

the part of yoru quote I put in bold, that is the part I am still waiting for!! Thank you for helping me and for being so sweet, sweetie

youre probably right about it coming out in a lonegr form, I just want to be able to do a ku!! whaa whaa

I was just refering to an Americanized version, not so strict on syllable count because the translation is not exact with the languages involved. I have a site i visit on occasion I will look for the link. Maybe a senryu would be better for me, maybe...

hey! that's what i've been doing with mine. aiming for 17 syllables as a maximum and often falling way short of that count which is mostly the only fiddling with the haiku boundaries i've been doing. i do so like stretching the boundaries just a little.

 

[Rybka]

Haiku line length

hey! that's what i've been doing with mine. aiming for 17 syllables as a maximum and often falling way short of that count which is mostly the only fiddling with the haiku boundaries i've been doing. i do so like stretching the boundaries just a little.

While most writers of "Western Haiku" are aware that the form does not require the common "5-7-5", the majority write in a balanced form with the first and third lines being the same length (syllable count/metre) and both of them being shorter than the middle line.

 

[wildsweetone]

well heck, i sure mess up that balance don't i?

more to learn.




*thinking about writing sonnets*

 

[Maria2394]

what Rybka said, is what I was trying to articulate... the balance, I wasnt sure how to implement that ...

I once wrote a tanka, it was funny, but just to me, no one at all got it, I called it

"aseptic tanka" and it was about an overflow problem i had in my backyard, I laughed my butt of for days, everytime I read it, and the disdain it was met with on this forum amazed me. It was actually pretty good, I thought

I will keep trying!!

thanks!!



maria

 

[Maria2394]

well heck, i sure mess up that balance don't i?

more to learn.




*thinking about writing sonnets*

trying to write a sonnet makes me feel mentally ill. I dont even care anymore about a sonnett. and thats why fool doesnt think Im sexy, he only likes chicks that can write sonnets

 

[wildsweetone]

trust you to pick up on the invisible writing.

don't worry. i like you and think you're sexy.

write some haiku, i want to see what you do with it.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

Honey suckle bulb
internet of vines blooming
a wild sweet one

 

[wildsweetone]

Honey suckle bulb
internet of vines blooming
a wild sweet one

is this where i tell you i love the scent of honey suckle?

 

[wildsweetone]

pre-sleep thoughts...

.
.
.

sun rays

sun rays
between cumulus nimbus clouds -
a path
.
.
.
.

quarter moon

quarter moon
in the red sky
holds the rain
.
.
.
.

a star

a lone star
beside the full moon
girds the sea
.
.
.
.

still thinking about 'holds' and 'girds'

 

[My Erotic Trail]

.
.
.

sun rays

sun rays
between cumulus nimbus clouds -
a path
.
.
.
.

quarter moon

quarter moon
in the red sky
holds the rain
.
.
.
.

a star

a lone star
beside the full moon
girds the sea
.
.
.
.

still thinking about 'holds' and 'girds'

excellent <grin, inspirational

a lone star
peers through a cloudy sky
clarity shines

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.
six foot wood fence
penitentary...
ants climb hourly.
.
.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

.
.
.
six foot wood fence
penitentary...
ants climb hourly.
.
.

now aint that clever <Grin


a busy mole
penitentary...
digging day and night

 

[wildsweetone]

now aint that clever <Grin


a busy mole
penitentary...
digging day and night

a glass window
penitentary...
badger



not sure that's haiku, or anything for that matter lol

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.
leaf fall
on the ground
...a moth
.
.
.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

.
.
.
leaf fall
on the ground
...a moth
.
.
.

cute...


squirrel climbs
on a high branch
snap

 

[wildsweetone]

cute...


squirrel climbs
on a high branch
snap

cute??? you said cute???

do you see the moth is one of those cleverly disguised leaves?

rats i so need to work on my Haiku *sigh*


...poor squirrel.

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.
squirrel
eagle -
one hole in the snow
.
.
.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

.
.
.
squirrel
eagle -
one hole in the snow
.
.
.

actually I thought the leaf was covering the moth from falling <grin

moth sits in grass
a leaf falls aimlessly drifting
moth's blanket

 

[wildsweetone]

actually I thought the leaf was covering the moth from falling <grin

moth sits in grass
a leaf falls aimlessly drifting
moth's blanket

you know i'm going to think about this one.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

birds in the rain
still chirp and sing
bathing in flight

 

[The Huntsman]

Greetings, fellow poets!

Here's one of my all-time favorites from Basho:

On a one-ton temple bell a moonmoth, folded into sleep, sits still

_______________________________________________________________

One of my older poems:

Hip high grass on fire:
rice-field burn, salted tan skin -
plum tongue sucking soft.


The Huntsman

 

[wildsweetone]

Greetings, fellow poets!

Here's one of my all-time favorites from Basho:



_______________________________________________________________

One of my older poems:

Hip high grass on fire:
rice-field burn, salted tan skin -
plum tongue sucking soft.


The Huntsman

Hi Huntsman and welcome

i picked up a haiku anthology from the library this very morning and have just read three different versions of your Basho quote.

of the ones i've read so far i like:

Upon the temple bell
A butterfly is sleeping well.

i think the simplicity zones the mind in to the two specific images perfectly. compare it to:

The butterfly sleeps well
Perched upon the temple bell....
..Until it rings! (Dr Curtis Page's translation of Buson's butterfly haiku.

i'm not sure who originally wrote the haiku or if there were several poets who wrote about butterflies on temple bells, but it certainly makes for interesting variations - in my opinion.


and i like your haiku! i hope you post more.