Has pron become de facto sex education?

[Lizzie_Borden]

you may be surprised by how many people would be unable to answer that question. they just don't know.

I probably wouldn't be. It's often hard to put into words.

I just remember having to ask that question of Mr, due to my lack of sexual experience. He was the first person who made it *ok* to ask.

My standard answer was (and is): do what you want and I'll stop if I don't like it.

I'm referring to vanilla sex, of course.

Mmmmm, I tend to try and just give a broad answer, and then do stop them if something's not working right. And usually that's just when they're being a little rough down there, and have moved my piercing the wrong way or something.

 

[where]

And the other way around

Or even the guy or the girl asking 'What do you like?'

true, true...

you may be surprised by how many people would be unable to answer that question. they just don't know.

well I put my hand up to this. I'm only ~now~ learning to be vocal about what I like and what works. Oddly enough I seemed to know intuitively before about what worked for him. Or maybe he's just easier to please.

The instance is way too low to be anal sex in general, though. It's more likely one or more kinds of STDs that causes damage, because there's no evidence I've seen that frequency of anal affects anything. Afterall, they found out a couple years ago, that a strain of HPV is the major cause for cervical, vulva, vagina, penis, and anal cancer. I'd say the answer is more wearing a condom when you get fucked in the ass, rather than not doing it. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are a major cause of infertility in women.

I think condom use is definitely advisable in terms of preventing HPV infection and other infections, obviously, but in terms of ~physical~ damage there is, for me, enough evidence to make me keep anal to something I do on an irregular basis.

I probably wouldn't be. It's often hard to put into words.

I just remember having to ask that question of Mr, due to my lack of sexual experience. He was the first person who made it *ok* to ask.

it's nice when you get someone like that, isn't it?

 

[ownedsubgal]

well I put my hand up to this. I'm only ~now~ learning to be vocal about what I like and what works. Oddly enough I seemed to know intuitively before about what worked for him. Or maybe he's just easier to please.

ha, maybe. i seem to be pretty intuitive about the needs and desires of any partner i have as well. but if someone asks me, "what do you like?" the most specific answer i can give is, "for you to be totally utterly selfish." i think it's because i don't have any specific turn-ons, no specific actions that arouse me or drive me crazy. a satisfying sexual experience for me means pleasing my partner...and well, that's IT. that seems difficult for most men to comprehend tho.

 

[Netzach]

Vito is my putative 60 year old uncle-of-Vinny. Modeled loosely on a mother's ex bf.

He's much less liable to use google to find out anything about sexual technique in an effort to improve his game. He gets laid, it's good. Thinking for yourself is what you worry about when you're in business, not in the sack -if you're thinking you're doing it wrong.

 

[JMohegan]

Thanks. That's not a phenomenally blinkered generalisation.

I think he's talking about himself, a few years ago. Click on his profile and then on his homepage link.

As the thread goes on, it seems increasingly clear that people who struggled with inexperience and/or unsatisfactory sexuality when they were teens are much more likely to assume that teens today struggle with issues similar to whatever frustrated them.

Extrapolating from personal experience is understandable, if not necessarily indicative of the reality for the population overall.

 

[Seurat]

What do I want in the sack? Speak up. Tell me what you want me to do, or don't want me to do, or what you like or don't like. Don't be frigid. Take the lead on occasion, even if it is as a submissive.

I want (and will be) the cook in the kitchen, the maid in the drawing room, and the mistress in the boudoir. Leave that shy girl/guy stuff at the door, and get into the leather, please.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I probably wouldn't be. It's often hard to put into words.

I just remember having to ask that question of Mr, due to my lack of sexual experience. He was the first person who made it *ok* to ask.

it's nice when you get someone like that, isn't it?

It is! And I didn't/don't feel silly at all. He's patient with me, and lets me explore and early on didn't growl too much when I stopped in the middle of something to ask a question.

 

[kaycee217]

I think he's talking about himself, a few years ago. Click on his profile and then on his homepage link.

As the thread goes on, it seems increasingly clear that people who struggled with inexperience and/or unsatisfactory sexuality when they were teens are much more likely to assume that teens today struggle with issues similar to whatever frustrated them.

Extrapolating from personal experience is understandable, if not necessarily indicative of the reality for the population overall.

Wait, what?

 

[MisterSir]

He's suggesting the comment you made about teenagers was based on yourself as a younger man. Which would make it less stupid, admittedly, but still stupid.

 

[Keroin]

He's suggesting the comment you made about teenagers was based on yourself as a younger man. Which would make it less stupid, admittedly, but still stupid.

Hm, yeah, come to think of it, most of the times I make comments which could be read as insulting or ageist to the younger crowd, they're based on how I, (and most of the people I knew), was as a young person.

It's not that I was a complete idiot when I was younger it's just that I was a complete idiot when I was younger.

 

[satindesire]

Hm, yeah, come to think of it, most of the times I make comments which could be read as insulting or ageist to the younger crowd, they're based on how I, (and most of the people I knew), was as a young person.

It's not that I was a complete idiot when I was younger it's just that I was a complete idiot when I was younger.

I don't think I was a complete idiot, but I certainly feel differently about some things than I did. Like illegal drugs, college, marriage and other controversial subjects. My opinions have changed through experience, which I find is pretty universal amongst people as they grow up.

 

[kaycee217]

He's suggesting the comment you made about teenagers was based on yourself as a younger man. Which would make it less stupid, admittedly, but still stupid.

Oh, ok. JMohegan is wrong, but ok.

 

[rida]

I probably wouldn't be. It's often hard to put into words.

I just remember having to ask that question of Mr, due to my lack of sexual experience. He was the first person who made it *ok* to ask.

Mmmmm, I tend to try and just give a broad answer, and then do stop them if something's not working right. And usually that's just when they're being a little rough down there, and have moved my piercing the wrong way or something.

My thing is that I'm pretty much like OSG as I cannot tell you exactly what I like in term of actions, type of stimulation, movements and so forth. It depends too much from the person I'm with. I'm such that I honestly get off (figuratively speaking and at time even mentally if not physically) in tapping into the men's enjoyment and pleasure: pleasing the man pleases me. So if he was to do something just for me, even in vanilla sex, I just could not get into it.

It is slightly easier with the one-time guys as the connection is such that more often than not I cannot tap into their pleasure and as such I can be more "egotistical" with the sex. Still I put a higher priority in their "orgasm" than mine. (And there is no way I'm going to masturbate in front of them.).

 

[where]

It is! And I didn't/don't feel silly at all. He's patient with me, and lets me explore and early on didn't growl too much when I stopped in the middle of something to ask a question.

I still remember him looking up and saying, "If you don't tell me it's good, how do I know to keep doing it?"

I find it incredibly difficult to articulate my desires and feelings. It's a skill I never ever had and learning to do it now at age 45... well does that make me like a gauche teen? or just one of those people who aren't good at saying what they want? Maybe we just ascribe lack of articulation to younger people because it took some of us inarticulates so bloody long to find our voice, we assume it's the same for everyone.

 

[Netzach]

OT

I'm pretty consistent with teenaged me. A little more rational and a lot more independent but not wildly off.

Which either means I'm still a complete idiot or that I wasn't really that much of an idiot.

I guess I ascribe a lot of *pressure* and *inexperience* and *misery* to that crowd, but not innate dumbness.

I still think high school sucked worse than the worst of my adulthood.

 

[satindesire]

OT

I'm pretty consistent with teenaged me. A little more rational and a lot more independent but not wildly off.

Which either means I'm still a complete idiot or that I wasn't really that much of an idiot.

I guess I ascribe a lot of *pressure* and *inexperience* and *misery* to that crowd, but not innate dumbness.

I still think high school sucked worse than the worst of my adulthood.

Oh, absolutely.

But, I've noticed that people who had an easy time in high school (I.E. parents were wealthy, they were "popular", fit in easily, etc) rarely develop character, self-motivation and a good personality.

 

[Netzach]

Oh, absolutely.

But, I've noticed that people who had an easy time in high school (I.E. parents were wealthy, they were "popular", fit in easily, etc) rarely develop character, self-motivation and a good personality.

What I've found is that those people seldom actually had a good time either.

 

[midwestyankee]

What I've found is that those people seldom actually had a good time either.

This seems to be the dirty little secret of high school: very, very few people actually had a great time. No doubt this is why all those teen-age angst movies made for such good box office.

"I can't believe I just gave my panties to a geek."

 

[satindesire]

What I've found is that those people seldom actually had a good time either.

I've heard way too many of those people say "I LOVED high school!"

I'm torn between wanting Brooklyn to grow up with good character and the ability to resist unhealthy peer pressure...and WANTING her to fit in. *sigh*

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I still remember him looking up and saying, "If you don't tell me it's good, how do I know to keep doing it?"

I find it incredibly difficult to articulate my desires and feelings. It's a skill I never ever had and learning to do it now at age 45... well does that make me like a gauche teen? or just one of those people who aren't good at saying what they want? Maybe we just ascribe lack of articulation to younger people because it took some of us inarticulates so bloody long to find our voice, we assume it's the same for everyone.

Physical feelings, I'm good with.

Desires, not so much. I turn bright red and clam up.

 

[where]

Physical feelings, I'm good with.

Desires, not so much. I turn bright red and clam up.

I'm both. repression has been a good friend to me over the years and I ain't about to break up with him.

 

[WriterDom]

This seems to be the dirty little secret of high school: very, very few people actually had a great time. No doubt this is why all those teen-age angst movies made for such good box office.

"I can't believe I just gave my panties to a geek."

Cheap gas. Cheap marijuana. Drive through beer sold to anyone old enough to drive. Free golf during the season. Got my first hand job simultaneously with my first real kiss. My girlfriend was a bit of a bitch, but she was cute, hot and almost always horny. Good friends. School and police generally tended to look the other way when we acted up. No shortage of fun, that's for sure.

 

[kaycee217]

Cheap gas. Cheap marijuana. Drive through beer sold to anyone old enough to drive. Free golf during the season. Got my first hand job simultaneously with my first real kiss. My girlfriend was a bit of a bitch, but she was cute, hot and almost always horny. Good friends. School and police generally tended to look the other way when we acted up. No shortage of fun, that's for sure.

Where did you go to high school?!

 

[WriterDom]

Where did you go to high school?!

Just a typical small town in the south. Pre-AIDS, Post-war, Pre-Disco. Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top on the 8 track.

 

[kaycee217]

Just a typical small town in the south. Pre-AIDS, Post-war, Pre-Disco. Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top on the 8 track.

*sigh*

Such a simple life.