Has pron become de facto sex education?

[Netzach]

You think that's because of sexism?

I think its because of worries about a young person's abilities to take care of himself-- or herself-- not to mention taking care of a sub. If I were to entrust myself to someone's authority they had damn well better have authority over themselves.

I think the latter valid conceren is used to justify hardcore ageist beliefs.There's a difference between "I need evidence of maturity to hand over all control" and a belief that a 22 yo guy can't even tie his shoes and certainly can't spank me and the assumption that a guy in this age range can't possibly absorb information.

Let me reiterate, a guy we're perfectly happy to send to get his ass shot off.

I think there's a sexist/ageist aspect to that, yeah. Ageism intersects sexism in this case, to me.

 

[midwestyankee]

I think the latter valid conceren is used to justify hardcore ageist beliefs.There's a difference between "I need evidence of maturity to hand over all control" and a belief that a 22 yo guy can't even tie his shoes and certainly can't spank me and the assumption that a guy in this age range can't possibly absorb information.

Let me reiterate, a guy we're perfectly happy to send to get his ass shot off.

I think there's a sexist/ageist aspect to that, yeah. Ageism intersects sexism in this case, to me.

And at the same time, young women from the very same age group seem to be highly prized targets of male obsession -- domly or otherwise.

 

[Netzach]

And at the same time, young women from the very same age group seem to be highly prized targets of male obsession -- domly wouotherwise.

Not necessarily for the best either. I'm not downplaying how it sucks for young women, but I definitely would verge on sociopath if I was treated with the dismissals that young men are. The whole idea of "you need remedial sexual help young man" instead of intimacy - is kinda fucked.

 

[infinity706]

There are a few younger guys I'd consider submitting to. It does happen to be that the majority of younger guys have seriously been incompetent. Expecting anal without lube or condoms doesn't exactly win points with me. The majority have also expected that their entire contribution should be to show up and let me wow them with my skills, like I'm some kind of professional whore.

 

[infinity706]

And at the same time, young women from the very same age group seem to be highly prized targets of male obsession -- domly or otherwise.

I don't know. Most of my female partners have been older than I am. 20something women usually drive me crazy since they're mostly too shy to ask for what they want and expect me to do all the work, just like the guys. Of course, part of it could be that they've heard the rumors.

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't know. Most of my female partners have been older than I am. 20something women usually drive me crazy since they're mostly too shy to ask for what they want and expect me to do all the work, just like the guys. Of course, part of it could be that they've heard the rumors.

I would submit that you are hardly the average male over 35.

 

[MisterSir]

And the debate about young dominant men has bubbled up once again. My views on it are quite obvious, so I won't go into them unless somebody pushes that berserk button. For now, I'll be up in the belltower. Just me, my rifle and that little voice in my head that says everybody's a sinner and must be punished. Toodles!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think the latter valid conceren is used to justify hardcore ageist beliefs.There's a difference between "I need evidence of maturity to hand over all control" and a belief that a 22 yo guy can't even tie his shoes and certainly can't spank me and the assumption that a guy in this age range can't possibly absorb information.

Let me reiterate, a guy we're perfectly happy to send to get his ass shot off.

I think there's a sexist/ageist aspect to that, yeah. Ageism intersects sexism in this case, to me.

I do not think young men should get their asses shot off, either. So watch it with the "we."

As for a spanking, hellyeah, there's nothing like youthful enthusiasm and endurance!

 

[infinity706]

I would submit that you are hardly the average male over 35.

I probably won't be average in 11 years, either. Of course, I'm working on the 30-80 women (and men) now, so I'll probably still be fucking that age range unless the new crop of 20somethings are better than the current ones. The sex surveys indicate it's a possiblity, though.

 

[satindesire]

You think that's because of sexism?

I think its because of worries about a young person's abilities to take care of himself-- or herself-- not to mention taking care of a sub. If I were to entrust myself to someone's authority they had damn well better have authority over themselves.

Well, here's the deal. I've never heard of a Dom refusing to own/play with a young female sub.

Yet, many times in BDSM relationships, female subs are put to task, doing things that require great responsibility such as balancing checkbooks, cooking, cleaning the house, maintaining a budget, staying healthy/thin, whatever.

All of those things require self-motivation, discipline and maturity, yet it seems the only people that get a "hell no" in the BDSM relationship question are young male Doms.

And at the same time, young women from the very same age group seem to be highly prized targets of male obsession -- domly or otherwise.

Ed Zachery!

And the debate about young dominant men has bubbled up once again. My views on it are quite obvious, so I won't go into them unless somebody pushes that berserk button. For now, I'll be up in the belltower. Just me, my rifle and that little voice in my head that says everybody's a sinner and must be punished. Toodles!

*glomps and smooches* Nooooo! Don't gooo!

I probably won't be average in 11 years, either.

*teasing* Are we talking penis size...or...? /:-l

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, here's the deal. I've never heard of a Dom refusing to own/play with a young female sub.

Yet, many times in BDSM relationships, female subs are put to task, doing things that require great responsibility such as balancing checkbooks, cooking, cleaning the house, maintaining a budget, staying healthy/thin, whatever.

All of those things require self-motivation, discipline and maturity, yet it seems the only people that get a "hell no" in the BDSM relationship question are young male Doms.

If you ask me that says a lot about how women's skills are rated-- should be easy, right? After all it's women's work.

And none of those things involve someone else's potential mental health, in the ways that a Dom's activities potentially might. Presumably, he holds his partner's self respect in the palm of his hand.

 

[satindesire]

If you ask me that says a lot about how women's skills are rated-- should be easy, right? After all it's women's work.

And none of those things involve someone else's potential mental health, in the ways that a Dom's activities potentially might. Presumably, he holds his partner's self respect in the palm of his hand.

I don't agree with the whole "women's work" thing.

And I don't agree that a sub doesn't affect her Dom's mental health. The submissive is involved with her Dom in a very intrinsic way, and like a screw, you can't easily disengage without losing pieces of yourself. Subs affect Doms just as much as Doms affect subs, mentally, emotionally, physically, et all.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't agree with the whole "women's work" thing.

And I don't agree that a sub doesn't affect her Dom's mental health. The submissive is involved with her Dom in a very intrinsic way, and like a screw, you can't easily disengage without losing pieces of yourself. Subs affect Doms just as much as Doms affect subs, mentally, emotionally, physically, et all.

Well yeah, and I would not particularly look for a young sub for those reasons.

But then I'm not quite a man.

 

[satindesire]

Well yeah, and I would not particularly look for a young sub for those reasons.

But then I'm not quite a man.

True, you're not born a man, but for all intents and purposes, I consider you one and so do you. Really, isn't that what counts the most?

I wouldn't mind submitting to a young Dom/me, personally. I feel most attracted to older men and women because I think wrinkles and greying hair is sexy, but honestly, my Mister isn't much older than me at all, I'm still very young. I've found that age doesn't always breed maturity and responsibility.

 

[infinity706]

*teasing* Are we talking penis size...or...? /:-l

Well, I'm actually pretty average in the penis size department. 6 inches and a 1.8 diameter certainly wouldn't win any contests. I don't even have to take off my pants to do my best work, though.

I don't agree with the whole "women's work" thing.

And I don't agree that a sub doesn't affect her Dom's mental health. The submissive is involved with her Dom in a very intrinsic way, and like a screw, you can't easily disengage without losing pieces of yourself. Subs affect Doms just as much as Doms affect subs, mentally, emotionally, physically, et all.

Well, "women's work" is important, but even if you fuck up a checkbook, it might cost you $30 because you bounced a check. If you fuck up some of the more dangerous things doms tend to do, you could land someone in the hospital or kill them. Of course, that could be the issue, right there. So, how many younger women have we had wanting to dominate older guys?

Well yeah, and I would not particularly look for a young sub for those reasons.

But then I'm not quite a man.

You're definately a guy. It doesn't really matter what's in your pants.

True, you're not born a man, but for all intents and purposes, I consider you one and so do you. Really, isn't that what counts the most?

I wouldn't mind submitting to a young Dom/me, personally. I feel most attracted to older men and women because I think wrinkles and greying hair is sexy, but honestly, my Mister isn't much older than me at all, I'm still very young. I've found that age doesn't always breed maturity and responsibility.

I like older guys because they're less likely to get a blowjob, throw their clothes on and leave in the span of 2 minutes.

 

[satindesire]

Well, "women's work" is important, but even if you fuck up a checkbook, it might cost you $30 because you bounced a check. If you fuck up some of the more dangerous things doms tend to do, you could land someone in the hospital or kill them. Of course, that could be the issue, right there. So, how many younger women have we had wanting to dominate older guys?

True, some things Dom/mes do to their subs are dangerous, however, not all Dom/mes are into dangerous play. So what might you assume is the sub's reason for not liking older Dom/mes in that case?

 

[ownedsubgal]

True, some things Dom/mes do to their subs are dangerous, however, not all Dom/mes are into dangerous play. So what might you assume is the sub's reason for not liking older Dom/mes in that case?

well a lot of women, submissive and otherwise, simply prefer older men because of the increased likelihood for financial stability, emotional and intellectual maturity, life experience, responsibility...you know all that good grown-up stuff. then when you factor in submissive women who need their Dominant to be very much an authority figure in their lives, someone to lead and guide them as opposed to treating them like an equal partner.

though i have submitted to men my own age and even slightly younger, it is only because it is my nature to submit. i would never in a million years wish to be in a relationship with a younger Dominant...not because i assume younger men are clueless nincompoops, but because it would be impossible for them to provide the kind of relationship and way of life that i need in order to thrive.

 

[infinity706]

True, some things Dom/mes do to their subs are dangerous, however, not all Dom/mes are into dangerous play. So what might you assume is the sub's reason for not liking older Dom/mes in that case?

I'd assume that would probably change things. Unfortunately, I've never seen any of the mentioned threads, so I don't know whether the particular pyls would want dangerous play. I do know that many members of this forum do some really kinky shit that's pretty dangerous, though.

Of course, part of the issue could also be that a lot of female pyls I know have a thing for older guys in general (old enough to be their dad in many cases), regardless of whether it ends up being a D/s relationship or not.

 

[satindesire]

Intriguing thoughts.

 

[JMohegan]

It's understandable because we live in a prude and gullible society. Young people aren't always given that much information and what information they're getting is not always being presented in a way that can counteract the influence of movies, music, and gossip.


Hypothetical:

I'm a virgin and my parents won't talk to me about sex, my friends have never had sex so I'm wary of any advice they're giving. My sex ed class consists of primarily abstinence education and a condom being placed on a banana. Now my partner wants to have sex. I watch porn online, but mostly the commercial stuff. I don't know about sites like this one because let's face it, I don't like to read for pleasure. So the only access to information about sex is commercial pornography and a few snippets of advice/experience from my equally inexperienced friends. Can you blame me for using commercial porn as my "default" approach to having sex?

Are you too stupid to google "how to arouse a woman" or "female orgasm" or something like that?

Not "you" as in you, kaycee. I'm just asking for clarification on the hypothetical.

Because it seems to me that the wealth of information available, to any human with computer access plus a sincere desire for said information, should make this the most well informed generation of virgins in the history of the earth.

 

[satindesire]

Are you too stupid to google "how to arouse a woman" or "female orgasm" or something like that?

Not "you" as in you, kaycee. I'm just asking for clarification on the hypothetical.

Because it seems to me that the wealth of information available, to any human with computer access plus a sincere desire for said information, should make this the most well informed generation of virgins in the history of the earth.

Unfortunately, they DON'T know they're under/wrongly educated. That's why they're not googling "clitoris" and "female orgasm" and things like that.

ETA: Some really interesting websites came up when I googled "female orgasm". Really good info!!

 

[ownedsubgal]

just tried googling "female orgasm," and a bunch of articles came up explaining how every woman wants her clitoris played with and pussy licked....grrrr.

that type of generalization about female sexuality frustrates me to no end. too many men view women as this monolithic entity..."women like this," "women don't like that," etc. the immense range of female sexual response, desires, needs, etc. is completely disregarded.

 

[BiBunny]

just tried googling "female orgasm," and a bunch of articles came up explaining how every woman wants her clitoris played with and pussy licked....grrrr.

that type of generalization about female sexuality frustrates me to no end. too many men view women as this monolithic entity..."women like this," "women don't like that," etc. the immense range of female sexual response, desires, needs, etc. is completely disregarded.

That's actually what I think is more the problem than porn, though I do think that porn contributes to that mentality. The "all women" stuff is so annoying. I'm not "all women," thank you very much. So, in some ways, I can see why someone might want to get advice from a forum, so he/she can get a broader base of opinions. All that "how to make her cum" stuff basically says the same thing.

Yes, it's ultimately better to ASK one's partner what to do, but I can see how you'd at least like to have a general idea of what might work before you ever start. I don't know about everyone else, but I like to be prepared.

 

[infinity706]

Unfortunately, they DON'T know they're under/wrongly educated. That's why they're not googling "clitoris" and "female orgasm" and things like that.

ETA: Some really interesting websites came up when I googled "female orgasm". Really good info!!

Well, they could be like me. I once assumed women got orgasms from getting fucked. Afterall, it that would make a lot of sense until you get into the anatomy and physiology. If people were built in any kind of sensible way the vagina would have genital corpuscles and the clit wouldn't exist. For some weird reason, though, they're only found in erectile tissue. (clit/dick and nipples)

 

[JMohegan]

Unfortunately, they DON'T know they're under/wrongly educated. That's why they're not googling "clitoris" and "female orgasm" and things like that.

That assertion seems tough to prove, and debatable at best. But for the moment, lets assume it's true.

So Vinny the Virgin finally gets some skirt and, taking his cue from porn, whips out his dick and goes for the gold.... with minimal or no foreplay.

SD, you just gave a very realistic description of what happens when dick meets dry hole, so we both know what lesson Vinny learns there and then.

And? What happens next?

Maybe the female in question explains the problem, and they eventually try again. He learned the hard way, but he learned, yes?

Or maybe she kicks him out and refuses to see him again. You don't think Vinny would be googling after that?