Holy Sh*t They're NAKED in Here!

[Anschul]

What musical group would you let gang bang you, and why?

Pink Floyd. The music will be loud and the Ganja and the 25 will be everywhere. How could I not?


I don't know why I did this. I hate when I get these things in emails. lol

Wow, Boo...You're a Floydian? How cool. I didn't think there were many of us left who would actually admit to it. Ask me some time to tell you some David Gilmour stories...I've got a million...

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'm thinking about something.

There are many things in here already that I think would be stellar inspiration for other writers to respond to. Just to be cautious about this, I suggest that anyone who contributes to this thread who is alright with their work being used in some fashion just say so, and I'll begin a list on the first post to that effect.

I'm pretty inspired by a lot of this already, and while it's true that by the time I finish with something it would be unrecognizable anyway, I like to be cautious about these things.

Imagine a portrait series of the people you see portrayed, or the stories you imagine, based on all these amazing little vignettes and confessions.

Names changed to protect the pure, of course.

bj

 

[Angeline]

I'm thinking about something.

There are many things in here already that I think would be stellar inspiration for other writers to respond to. Just to be cautious about this, I suggest that anyone who contributes to this thread who is alright with their work being used in some fashion just say so, and I'll begin a list on the first post to that effect.

I'm pretty inspired by a lot of this already, and while it's true that by the time I finish with something it would be unrecognizable anyway, I like to be cautious about these things.

Imagine a portrait series of the people you see portrayed, or the stories you imagine, based on all these amazing little vignettes and confessions.

Names changed to protect the pure, of course.

bj

I'm all right with everything. I'm easy that way.

 

[sassynyc]

I'm fine with the idea. Endless possibilities.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Thank you both! I shall update the list accordingly.

hi y'all! I deep wanting to get on here and say how mind-bogglingly cool I'm finding this thread but I'm afraid I'll break something.

*too much enthusiasm for my own good*

bj

 

[sassynyc]

Thank you both! I shall update the list accordingly.

hi y'all! I deep wanting to get on here and say how mind-bogglingly cool I'm finding this thread but I'm afraid I'll break something.

*too much enthusiasm for my own good*

bj

This seed fell into the right hands. Look what's sprouted.
Quite the green thumb. You'll have a full fledged jungle on your hands in no time.

 

[Liar]

Clara told me everything there is to know about sex. Not about the ins and outs, the peg A in slot B and the right twist on the right knob, not about blowjobs, baby oil, clothespins and aubergines. But about the nature of sex, that growl that connects your spine to your brain, that tingle in your fingertips, why your toes curl, why your breath trembles.

First lesson:
"Close your eyes and imagine us fucking," she said.
"Only imagine?" I asked.
"For now, yes."
"Ok. We're fucking."
"How does it feel?"
"Feels great, of course."
"Good. Keep that feeling. Hang on to it... now imagine us fully clothed and tree feet apart. Any difference?"
"Of course there's a difference."
"Yeah, but there's something still there, right?"
"There is."
"That's the part that's not just nerve ends having a good time. I call it sex."

For the rest of the lessons, get your own damn teacher.

 

[sassynyc]

Oh and since this is the sex thread, I want to state that fucking while The Andy Griffiths Show is on the tube makes me giggle uncontrollably. Take that, Aunt Bea!

LOLZ!

Blasphemer! Peril be unto you! Aunt Bea is turning over in her grave right about now.
(either that, or in a parallel universe, she's a member of Lit too)

BTW, aren't Barney and Gomer just the epitome of SEXY?

 

[Anschul]

LOLZ!

Blasphemer! Peril be unto you! Aunt Bea is turning over in her grave right about now.
(either that, or in a parallel universe, she's a member of Lit too)

BTW, aren't Barney and Gomer just the epitome of SEXY?

Apparently my rant a few weeks ago about the AGS fell on deaf ears. Will someone PLEASE try to help me to understand the attraction to what I think is the most gawdawful pictures set to words in the history of pictures set to words? As if the words weren't gawdawful enough on their own? And gawd help me if I ever, EVER hear that Barney's voice again in this lifetime, I may just actually take that single bullet out of my breast pocket and put it into my frontal lobe.

 

[normal jean]

...............

 

[sassynyc]

Apparently my rant a few weeks ago about the AGS fell on deaf ears. Will someone PLEASE try to help me to understand the attraction to what I think is the most gawdawful pictures set to words in the history of pictures set to words? As if the words weren't gawdawful enough on their own? And gawd help me if I ever, EVER hear that Barney's voice again in this lifetime, I may just actually take that single bullet out of my breast pocket and put it into my frontal lobe.

I beg of you....put the gun down! (My, you're dramatic)
The curse of the written word. Surely you missed the sarcasm dripping from that post. Actually, I saw the Andy Griffith Show for the first time ever last year. I watched purely out of curiosity. When I watched Happy Days re-runs as a kid, my father used to tell me about "Richie" playing some kid named "Opie" on the Andy Giffith Show. The good folks of Mayberry, yadda,yadda....

This was the Golden Age of television for him. The ultimate entertainment, to his sensibilities, were the likes of AGS, F-Troop, Green Acres, etc. So, I had to see what all the fuss was about. I just saw The Beverly Hillbillies for the first time a few months ago. Blame TV Land. They're a bottomless pit of nostalgia. Frankly, I don't get it. I love me some old school, but these don't do it for me. A smidge hokey for my taste. However, I do find it gut-busting funny to make fun of them....a la sex symbols Fife and Pile.

Come on Cheffy......don't tell me Aunt Bea never turned your head.

 

[Anschul]

I didnt know there was actually a term for loving Pink Floyd , but I lost my virginity to dark side of the moon, the lunatic song, how freaking appropriate

and, I have a nekkiid pic of me tree hugging...wanna see? lol

please dont take it as a threat, lol



sweet dreams you guys

A tree? Is that the best you can do? There actually is a man or two who would be more interesting than a tree...and more satisfying, too. Would you believe it's actually called "Brain Damage." Ironic?

 

[Anschul]

I beg of you....put the gun down! (My, you're dramatic)
The curse of the written word. Surely you missed the sarcasm dripping from that post. Actually, I saw the Andy Griffith Show for the first time ever last year. I watched purely out of curiosity. When I watched Happy Days re-runs as a kid, my father used to tell me about "Richie" playing some kid named "Opie" on the Andy Giffith Show. The good folks of Mayberry, yadda,yadda....

This was the Golden Age of television for him. The ultimate entertainment, to his sensibilities, were the likes of AGS, F-Troop, Green Acres, etc. So, I had to see what all the fuss was about. I just saw The Beverly Hillbillies for the first time a few months ago. Blame TV Land. They're a bottomless pit of nostalgia. Frankly, I don't get it. I love me some old school, but these don't do it for me. A smidge hokey for my taste. However, I do find it gut-busting funny to make fun of them....a la sex symbols Fife and Pile.

Come on Cheffy......don't tell me Aunt Bea never turned your head.

Yeah, in three complete circles, a la the Exorcist...

 

[normal jean]

.................

 

[normal jean]

there ya go sweetie

 

[Anschul]

there ya go sweetie

"Pitty-pat. Pitty-pat. Pitty-Pat

 

[champagne1982]

"Pitty-pat. Pitty-pat. Pitty-Pat

now see? there's a kink not often discussed on this forum. I, absolutely, get off on a stinging slap to my nether regions.. just one or two, but enough to add some heat to the region. Imagine, slipping through hot and swollen silk and steeping in the liquid of it all.. and I absolutely adore the whole pleasure/control thing for my partner... grrrrrrr.

was it good for you too?

 

[Homburg]

What's the shortest time you've known someone before getting sexual with them?

If we are loose on the definition of "getting sexual" (ie allowing it to include sex-related play sans actual genital contact), the answer is 15 minutes. If we are tight, and I like tight, the answer is somewhere around two months. Well, two months if we're considering long-distance communication as knowing someone.

It's complex.

List the inanimate objects you've used in sexual contexts.

On me? Tried one of those silicone vagina simulator things. I ripped it, as it was not of sufficient sturdiness to deal with me apparently.

Talk about your sexual orientation, how much you feel is nature vs. nurture.

I am heterosexual. I have, on rare occassion, found myself attracted to a man or two, but I assume it was a god that I don't believe in pressing the "Let's fuck with Homburg's head" button and laughing a lot.

The BDSM and poly sides of my sexuality appear to be hard-wired in. My wife asked me to top her ten years ago, and I agreed, so she initiated the move into actual BDSM, but I've done tying with scarves and belts and such for as long as I've been sexual, as well as spanking, and biting, and other pain and sensation play. It's just how I am. And I only recently realised that I've been poly all along, and that not recognising it has been something that has been fucking with me for a very long time.

Where did your kinks come from, if you have any? Can you trace any of them to an early source?

Nope. Can't say that I was influenced by BDSM porn or fantasy or anything, and the only examples of poly relationships that I had growing up were dysfunctional things (which is probably why I repressed those feelings in myself for so very long). I can trace my aesthetic love for thigh-high stockings or opera gloves, sure, but no clue where the need to bind, spank, flog, etc came from.

In my darker moments, I figure I inherited it. My paternal grandfather was an evil, sadistic, abusive bastard, and I take after him in so many ways. Somehow or another, I avoid the abusive part, and am doing my evil sadism the good/consensual way. *shrug* My dad broke the cycle of abuse. I give him all the credit in the world for why I am not the same sort of bastard that the old man was.

How do you feel about Hate Sex with an ex-relationship?

Done is done. Never sought the oppurtunity.

Name seven substances (not the obvious body fluids, but rather things like crème brulee or french dressing) which you would eat, drink or otherwise ingest off of the body of a naked person.

Messy Play widges me out. I hate being sticky. I'm a furry dude, so sticky is an issue for other reasons. As a result, I don't tend to do food play.

I also had an experience involving way too much whipped cream ingested off of a stripper (my bachelors party), and too much alcohol. I woke up the next morning with no hangover (as I don't get those things), but FUCK, I felt SO NASTY. Seriously, dried whipped cream, scotch ale, and cheap perfume in the goatee? Oh dear god, never again.

 

[Tzara]

What musical group would you let gang bang you, and why?

I thought about saying the cast of Poulenc's Dialogues des Carmélites, especially if somehow the amazingly hot Renee Fleming was singing one of the roles, but I don't think it's an opera she does and I decided that the nun-thing was maybe a little weird for me.

So, how about Katia and Marielle Labèque or Kate and Anna McGarrigle?

Yeah. Sister thing.​

What already-dead person will you be seeking out first to seduce when you get to the afterlife, and why?

Well, I certainly want to introduce myself to Jane Austen and Emily Brontë, but if I could dial her up at the right age, I might first go sniffing after Mary McCarthy, who, if you've ever read her autobiography, was one pretty wild chick.

Smart, too.​

Have you ever broken a sex toy?

Ha ha ha!

Uh, no.​

How many people have seen you naked?

Probably two or three hundred.

Am I the only one here whose school had communal showers for PE class?​

If you had to chose between coming and making someone else come, which would it be?

I'd agree with Anschul on this one. Especially if one emphasizes the word "making." ​

What's the shortest time you've known someone before getting sexual with them?

I don't know, really. At least a couple months. Looks by themselves don't do it for me.​

List the inanimate objects you've used in sexual contexts.

The obvious kinds of things: bed, chair, couch, beach towel, WaterPik.​

Talk about your sexual orientation, how much you feel is nature vs. nurture.

I'm your basic heterosexual. While I can conceptualize some kind of sexual relationship with another man, I've never had any desire for one.

I think your orientation is probably mostly nature, but environment has an effect. If I'd been born in ancient Athens, I probably would have rather different notions of what was arousing and what wasn't.​

Where did your kinks come from, if you have any? Can you trace any of them to an early source?

I am so straight I make a laser beam look bent.​

How do you feel about Hate Sex with an ex-relationship?

I don't hate any of my ex-partners, so I can't really say. I do find the concept of being sexually attracted to someone you hate really odd, though. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.​

Name seven substances (not the obvious body fluids, but rather things like crème brulee or french dressing) which you would eat, drink or otherwise ingest off of the body of a naked person.

I prefer my wine in a glass, frankly. The shape is designed to keep the bouquet in.

On the other hand, if was important to my partner, I'd be, um, up for anything she wanted, provided it wasn't something like Brussels Sprouts that I simply can't eat.​

Compare and contrast some aspect of sex to one of the following things:

Baseball: The object in both cases is to get around all the bases and score.​

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I suppose that in this case it would be alright to answer a few of my own questions...



What musical group would you let gang bang you, and why?

Oh so many. Adam and the Ants. The entirety of Prince's band circa "Sign O' The Times," particularly the horn section. Floyd, of course. Queen, if they'd have me. The Pogues, duh. And the Plasmatics.


What already-dead person will you be seeking out first to seduce when you get to the afterlife, and why?

The absolute first on the list would be Hypatia. Right after that, the Marx Brothers. All at once. Including Zeppo.


Have you ever broken a sex toy?

Not as such, unless you count falling asleep and letting the batteries run down. On the other hand, I am the great Houdini of bondage. I can sabotage, wriggle out of, or otherwise thwart most attempts to tie me up. I don't really try to do this; it just sort of happens to me. I guess I'm slippery.


How many people have seen you naked?

Oh, thousands. I go to those festivals, y'know.

If you had to chose between coming and making someone else come, which would it be?

Honestly, if I were being selfish I'd choose to make someone come, 'cause I friggin' love that, but if I were being generous I would let them take me there. I know how lovely it is to do that, and I'd see it as a gift.

I think that's plenty for now.

Man I am loving this thread.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

What musical group would you let gang bang you, and why?
Band of the Royal Marines ...... I like their oompah pah

 

[normal jean]

......................

 

[loststar]

What musical group would you let gang bang you, and why?
The smashing pumpkins, why? There are some teenage fantasies that you never grow out of...
How many people have seen you naked? Completely naked...a dozen or so, seen more than the publics fair share... hundreds

If you had to chose between coming and making someone else come, which would it be?
Making someone come

What's the shortest time you've known someone before getting sexual with them? a few hours

List the inanimate objects you've used in sexual contexts. Furniture, some chairs are better than some people

Talk about your sexual orientation, how much you feel is nature vs. nurture.
I am bi sexual, and I believe that my preferences are completely by nature, but how I react to them is a result of my culture and where I sit in it, thus how much of my nature is revealed is influenced by what is nurturing me.

 

[loststar]

knitting prose

so I have been tempted to create some mediocore at best poetry, but it is fun none the less so I present it here to you

Naked knitting
is best when you are sitting
for itf you stand
you will drag your strand
and if you lay
your yarn might fray



knit purl knit purl
these are the seeds we do stich
laying one on top of another
an atractive pattern do they make
though some effort and time they do take
and when one is finshed
all shall adore
what was just yarn before



Bring your yarn over
and I'll set an extra place
we will knot out our fustrations
and drink away our limitations
I'll play with the smooth silk
you can rub the rough wool
old romantics can simmer in the background
and I'll be sure to make you one too many to drink
and the road will miss you tonight
as will the boyfriend I am sure
but we will both delight
in the pleasures of our weekly knitting night

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I thought I might bump this thread since it has such a hot new soundtrack going on. Here's the new question for discussion and, ideally, some other sorts of writing as well:

Sex: The Long and Short of It

We've mentioned here and there the fact that music is of varying lengths, which brings up questions of quickies versus long operatic fucking sessions that involve breaks and snacking and possibly trips to the convenience store.

So talk to me about that. The hottest, most ridiculous quickie and what you like about that vibe. And the long, slow, start-before-you-even-leave-the-restaurant and go-all-night sessions when you get to take your time and explore and experiment.

It's not a simple question of which one you like. Both are valuable in their place. So write something about the value, the advantages, and your memories of either or both.

bj