Holy Sh*t They're NAKED in Here!

[unpredictablebijou]

I am not a pro dom. I don' tmake money off this

----

heh heh.
whoops, my mistake. I just meant 'expert'.

However, I for one suspect that you merit a great deal of energy exchange, monetary trade notwithstanding.

But I think you usually get that. Which leads me to that whole 'master' thing. See riff below, since y'all got me thinking and I'm now decompressing from a rather horrifying day at the shop. In that, y'know, 'Real Life'.

Goodness. I'm not a master of sex. I appreciate the compliment though

Well, now, let's just back up a minute. This is a good time to talk about what UYS says she has a hankerin' for, and to actually define what that means. At least in la langue bijou, for what it's worth.

These are merely suggestions, or descriptions of the way I think about the terms. I am in no way suggesting others adopt these definitions; quite the contrary, bijou-land may be a nice place to visit, but... well, you know.

We hanker for lots of different things, over phases or even in a particular moment. In this case, master could mean a few different things.

It could mean, 'I'm in the mood to get bossed around in an amusing way, and not have to make any more motherfucking Decisions About Things today.'

It could mean, 'I want to learn some stuff. I want someone to show me the ropes.'

It could mean, 'I'd like to imagine that somewhere in the world there's a person who could get me off beyond my wildest dreams, like I've never even imagined getting off.'

There are other things it might mean, to hanker for a 'sex master,' and okay, it's an odd phrase, but um... Homburg, may I point out that there are at least two people in the world who call you by a word that sounds just like that word. *evil, evil, EVIL grin:* The confusion would be understandable.

And when I define it like that, I bet you could say that at one point or another, you have in fact filled all three of those roles to some extent. It's possible that I have as well.

So. How does a woman find a master, when there's no physical Homburg around? Or if one actually lives in a Homburg-positive location, perhaps we've taken some sort of oath that we're not going to play that way with anyone other than That One person we're already with? What then?

I'm going to suggest that one answer lies in the dialogue that happens a lot in the BDSM community, which is: "who's really in charge of the Scene? Who is doing the 'work,' the Dom or the Sub? In what direction is energy flowing; who is giving and who is taking?"

And that's all I'm going to suggest for now, since it's Business Time.

Actually, it's just dinner time, but the video isn't as funny.

backson,

bj

 

[Homburg]

I reckon you know more about than most men I have encountered oh sure I have had my moments it's not all doom and gloom but right now well you know my story and I should be in my prime but I'm not I am hurting oh shit this is supposed to be amusing not make me cry

*hugs*

I'm sorry, doll.

*gropes*

 

[Tzara]

I am not a pro dom. I don't make money off this

Is there a Professional League? How does one get season tickets? Does Seattle have a franchise?

 

[Homburg]

There are many, many comments I could make here.

No, there is no league, nor are tickets available, but I do know that Seattle has quite a few very good players.

Bij, I'm with you. As to the lack of actual Homburg's in one's local area, well, that's a tough one. I'm sure if you looked you could probably find something similar. Same breed at least.

 

[Tzara]

No, there is no league, nor are tickets available, but I do know that Seattle has quite a few very good players.

I is just being envious and, therefore, jocular, Dr. H. You're fun to tease because you seem to be a very patient man.

Kind of the way that kids hang around MLB pitchers trying to learn the right way to throw a curveball.

 

[Homburg]

I is just being envious and, therefore, jocular, Dr. H. You're fun to tease because you seem to be a very patient man.

Kind of the way that kids hang around MLB pitchers trying to learn the right way to throw a curveball.

I have actually given lessons. I try to be patient. Sometimes I even succeed.

 

[Tzara]

I have actually given lessons. I try to be patient. Sometimes I even succeed.

Ha ha!

Well, I hope I am not being too irritating. A little irritating is OK. It's my modus operandi.

Your posts are always interesting, though, me being not only vanilla, but artificial extract at that.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Ha ha!

Well, I hope I am not being too irritating. A little irritating is OK. It's my modus operandi.

Your posts are always interesting, though, me being not only vanilla, but artificial extract at that.

We'll let you know if Hommie's team ever plays in Seattle. That's a game worth watching.

The amateur leagues are way more interesting anyway. And no steroids.

bj

 

[Homburg]

Now go make a nice long call on the Pink Princess Phone while you think about being spanked by Homburg and whispered to simultaneously by me, as I gently but firmly hold your wrists immobile.

bj

That is some mighty fine imaginifyin'.

----

Ha ha!

Well, I hope I am not being too irritating. A little irritating is OK. It's my modus operandi.

Your posts are always interesting, though, me being not only vanilla, but artificial extract at that.

Not irritating at all. You are teh funnay.

I would hope my posts are occassionally interesting, otherwise you are all faking it, and that would really make me twitch.

----

We'll let you know if Hommie's team ever plays in Seattle. That's a game worth watching.

The amateur leagues are way more interesting anyway. And no steroids.

bj

And we never have an *'s by our records.

 

[myinnerslut]

I have actually given lessons. I try to be patient. Sometimes I even succeed.

he is a very good teacher. at least when it comes to rope he has been a great teacher.

 

[sassynyc]

I would hope my posts are occassionally interesting, otherwise you are all faking it, and that would really make me twitch.

Though that is a thoroughly entertaining thought, your posts are bonafide page turners. If any of this had been a part of sex ed, I'd have never cut class.

 

[Homburg]

he is a very good teacher. at least when it comes to rope he has been a great teacher.

Thank you, kitten. I need to figure out your next lesson. Luckily we'll have a subject for you to work on for the next class.

--

Though that is a thoroughly entertaining thought, your posts are bonafide page turners. If any of this had been a part of sex ed, I'd have never cut class.

Jeepers, it is "Compliment Homburg Day"

That's actually a really cool, and really sad, idea. Cool because you could imagine the sort of usefulness kids could get out of some frank talk about how to make sex enjoyable. Sad because you know it would never frikken fly.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Thank you, kitten. I need to figure out your next lesson. Luckily we'll have a subject for you to work on for the next class.

--



Jeepers, it is "Compliment Homburg Day"

That's actually a really cool, and really sad, idea. Cool because you could imagine the sort of usefulness kids could get out of some frank talk about how to make sex enjoyable. Sad because you know it would never frikken fly.

I can attest to the fact that it would never frikken fly. Still asked to spew the party line about sex being for procreation and something that should only be shared between a man and woman who are married.

 

[sassynyc]

Thank you, kitten. I need to figure out your next lesson. Luckily we'll have a subject for you to work on for the next class.

--



Jeepers, it is "Compliment Homburg Day"

That's actually a really cool, and really sad, idea. Cool because you could imagine the sort of usefulness kids could get out of some frank talk about how to make sex enjoyable. Sad because you know it would never frikken fly.

Just as well. I'd have been waaaay dangerous with this much carnal knowledge at that age.
It's best that it be tempered with some common damn sense. I think I've accrued a safe amount.

 

[Homburg]

I can attest to the fact that it would never frikken fly. Still asked to spew the party line about sex being for procreation and something that should only be shared between a man and woman who are married.

Just as well. I'd have been waaaay dangerous with this much carnal knowledge at that age.
It's best that it be tempered with some common damn sense. I think I've accrued a safe amount.

See, I'm not even talking going into BDSM or actual technique. It would be more like "Do you just want sex, or do you want good sex? And don't you think that giving your partner really seriously mind-blowing sex would be a good way to keep your partner around for more sex?" and "Fellas, listen to me. Yeah, I know, I'm som eold dude. Whatever. The key to pleasing a woman is patience. Sounds crazy, I know, but don't jump right in there. Take a slow hand. Find out what she wants, where she likes to be touched. Each woman's body is a little bit different from the next, and learning to work with what she wants will turn her from frigid to willing to try out those sexy things she's read about in Cosmo."

Stuff like that would not go against the procreation vibe, and could actually be easily spun to support LTR (how better to get good sex than learning your partner and yourself?).

Never happen though. Shame too. Good quality sex could alleviate some serious problems societally. And just think of all the teen hotties...


DISCLAIMER: The teen hotties thing was honestly a joke. Teenagers generally make me twitch in a bad way. MIS is a very obvious exception, but, well, she's different. And no longer a teenager, thank goodness.

 

[Sara Crewe]

See, I'm not even talking going into BDSM or actual technique. It would be more like "Do you just want sex, or do you want good sex? And don't you think that giving your partner really seriously mind-blowing sex would be a good way to keep your partner around for more sex?" and "Fellas, listen to me. Yeah, I know, I'm som eold dude. Whatever. The key to pleasing a woman is patience. Sounds crazy, I know, but don't jump right in there. Take a slow hand. Find out what she wants, where she likes to be touched. Each woman's body is a little bit different from the next, and learning to work with what she wants will turn her from frigid to willing to try out those sexy things she's read about in Cosmo."

Stuff like that would not go against the procreation vibe, and could actually be easily spun to support LTR (how better to get good sex than learning your partner and yourself?).

Never happen though. Shame too. Good quality sex could alleviate some serious problems societally. And just think of all the teen hotties...


DISCLAIMER: The teen hotties thing was honestly a joke. Teenagers generally make me twitch in a bad way. MIS is a very obvious exception, but, well, she's different. And no longer a teenager, thank goodness.

There was never anything good in Cosmo btw. I'd get all excited in my teens when I would see the 'hooks' on the cover, buy it and read it. Only to find out their big tip of the month would be something like, "light a candle or ask to be on top."

 

[sassynyc]

You make a most valid case. Someone really does need to have that talk with boys.....and frighteningly enough, some grown ass men as well. Some of 'em just missed that memo entirely.

The powers that be, wouldn't be trying to hear it, of course, but the guys in the class would listen....old dude or not. Anybody who could tell them how to keep a never ending supply of nookie on hand, would be God to them.
Much to your chagrin though, you'd have a class full of twitch-inducing teenage girls all aflutter. I was always more inclined to check out the staff, than the boy sitting next to me.

 

[Homburg]

There was never anything good in Cosmo btw. I'd get all excited in my teens when I would see the 'hooks' on the cover, buy it and read it. Only to find out their big tip of the month would be something like, "light a candle or ask to be on top."

Well, as you can tell, I've never read one. I just see the stupid blurbs on the cover while in line at the grocery store.

----

You make a most valid case. Someone really does need to have that talk with boys.....and frighteningly enough, some grown ass men as well. Some of 'em just missed that memo entirely.

Goodness, I know. All I can say is, embarrassment or not, both my boys will get a good solid talking to on sex. The girls will too, though it will be of different content. "Don't be satisfied with lame boyfriends. Demand more from them. You deserve to enjoy your experience, not just let them enjoy theirs." "Oh geeze, dad, do we have to discuss this?!?" "Yes, young lady. Now sit and let's talk rope."

The powers that be, wouldn't be trying to hear it, of course, but the guys in the class would listen....old dude or not. Anybody who could tell them how to keep a never ending supply of nookie on hand, would be God to them.
Much to your chagrin though, you'd have a class full of twitch-inducing teenage girls all aflutter. I was always more inclined to check out the staff, than the boy sitting next to me.

It would not be the first time that I've had teen hearts, and other areas, fluttering. Creeps me out usually. I mentioned that party at MIS' house a while back? Well, some friends of hers and her brother's were over, all in the 18-19 range pretty much. I got some warm looks. I'm sitting there thinking "You're a kid. Stop." Her jailbait cousin was all about me. *shudder*

I need to figure out whatever "it" is so's I can turn "it" off in situations like that.

 

[sassynyc]

"Oh geeze, dad, do we have to discuss this?!?" "Yes, young lady. Now sit and let's talk rope."

Were I not so old, I'd totally want you to adopt me.

It would not be the first time that I've had teen hearts, and other areas, fluttering. Creeps me out usually. I mentioned that party at MIS' house a while back? Well, some friends of hers and her brother's were over, all in the 18-19 range pretty much. I got some warm looks. I'm sitting there thinking "You're a kid. Stop." Her jailbait cousin was all about me. *shudder*

I need to figure out whatever "it" is so's I can turn "it" off in situations like that.

Yeah...good luck with that. Here's the thing; you're only half of the equation. You could try turning "it" off, but that does nothing about shutting off their hormones. I'm sure you've encountered some of that age range who were unphased, but some gals are just wired for the older guy, for whatever reason.
They see something specific in you, that appeals to something very specific in them. So you'll probably always appeal to that demographic.
*le sigh*

 

[Homburg]

Were I not so old, I'd totally want you to adopt me.

That would lead to some potentially kinky things. I'm not into incest erotica.

Usually.

----

Yeah...good luck with that. Here's the thing; you're only half of the equation. You could try turning "it" off, but that does nothing about shutting off their hormones. I'm sure you've encountered some of that age range who were unphased, but some gals are just wired for the older guy, for whatever reason.
They see something specific in you, that appeals to something very specific in them. So you'll probably always appeal to that demographic.
*le sigh*

viv, MIS, "w", etc have all said that I "reek of dominance". Might also have something to do with it. It's interesting how kinks work. Older guys, dominance, older women, stockings, etc. Makes me wonder where they originate.

And I am sure there will be some point where I'll wish I could still interest the young womens. My buddy Ken has hit the point where ceased to be relevant for his favourite targets. It was a crushing day for him.

I just wish I could get an ego boost off of it. Usually, when I realise that a given women is having trouble concentrating because I'm nearby, I get all kinds of mojo. When it's a teenager, I just get widged out. All I am asking for is mojo. Is that so horrible?

 

[sassynyc]

That would lead to some potentially kinky things. I'm not into incest erotica.

Usually.

Eeew! I'm all for kinky....but I didn't mean it like that.
Ain't exactly my bag.

viv, MIS, "w", etc have all said that I "reek of dominance". Might also have something to do with it. It's interesting how kinks work. Older guys, dominance, older women, stockings, etc. Makes me wonder where they originate.

And I am sure there will be some point where I'll wish I could still interest the young womens. My buddy Ken has hit the point where ceased to be relevant for his favourite targets. It was a crushing day for him.

I just wish I could get an ego boost off of it. Usually, when I realise that a given women is having trouble concentrating because I'm nearby, I get all kinds of mojo. When it's a teenager, I just get widged out. All I am asking for is mojo. Is that so horrible?

Mojo is cool. I love knowing that my presence in a room gets a guy all out of focus....even if I'm not interested. That's purely human ego. Nowhere is it written that you're supposed to get off on the attention of young girls. You like it or you don't. Just doesn't happen to be the way your wiring works.

Let's get analytical for a minute. You're dominant, but generally have no interest in the very young. If I'm correct, you like someone who is self-aware and mature enough to know they enjoy dominance, without the possibility of feeling they've been manipulated into it. Basicly, the lines are not smudged. They're giving you control, you're not taking it. Could it be, you associate being with someone much younger, with being predatory, and therefore can't get anything out of it?

Just wondering. Yours is an interesting brain to pick.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

.............................

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Never say never.

Honestly, I try not to forget that I don't know you or your situation well enough to assert anything, regardless of how intimate we are in here. We're still very far away from one another, geographically as well as in 'reality'. But I do know that hunger and desire, when driven by love and compassion, cannot help but create positive change.

If you create a space in your deepest heart and move happiness and good, healthy ecstasy into it, it will be a little bell that rings and attracts more of the same.

Now go make a nice long call on the Pink Princess Phone while you think about being spanked by Homburg and whispered to simultaneously by me, as I gently but firmly hold your wrists immobile.

Then come back and write some poetry about it.

*okay, fine, standing over you with a whip*

bj

I tremble prisoner of my own making,
yet held with no escape,
a light caress sweeps across
buttocks raised expectant.
Whimpering fearing this exposure,
first crack of open palm,
mind skids collides with pain
burns deep within my soul.
At each fall the screaming
need combines, flood gates open,
no longer coherent,
no longer is there me,
just you and ecstasy.

 

[Homburg]

Eeew! I'm all for kinky....but I didn't mean it like that.
Ain't exactly my bag.

Yeah, me neither. I was just pushing to push

I do know people for whom that is a huge turn-on.

Mojo is cool. I love knowing that my presence in a room gets a guy all out of focus....even if I'm not interested. That's purely human ego. Nowhere is it written that you're supposed to get off on the attention of young girls. You like it or you don't. Just doesn't happen to be the way your wiring works.

I love my mojo. I live and breathe it. when it is low, I don't function well. When it is high, it better than any drug I've tried (not a long list, admittedly). It ticks me off that there is a demographic from whom I could mine mojo, and I just don't like the flavour.

Let's get analytical for a minute. You're dominant, but generally have no interest in the very young. If I'm correct, you like someone who is self-aware and mature enough to know they enjoy dominance, without the possibility of feeling they've been manipulated into it. Basicly, the lines are not smudged. They're giving you control, you're not taking it. Could it be, you associate being with someone much younger, with being predatory, and therefore can't get anything out of it?

Just wondering. Yours is an interesting brain to pick.

Essentially, yes. The age difference produces an unequal power dynamic by pure virtue of life difference. While an average 18yr old high school student might be legal, she would be unethical to pursue in my worldview. Simply put, she would not have the life exerience to handle such a decision rationally, nor would she have the emotional, mental, or monetary werewithal to be anything but dependent.

While she is legally capable of granting consent, I would not generally consider it informed consent.

MIS winds up being different for various reasons. In that situation, I am not the predator, and I judged her fully capable of informed consent.

----

 

[Homburg]

I had to go to bed and leave you to it I was dead on my feet. One rather odd thing now Homb you are younger than me which is really not my bat at all which is probably how I got into this predicament. Actually there is a younger man from my past that still pursues by text on a regular basis although I haven't seen him for years but I'm just not that interested not enough anyway to be adulterous. He's a great guy but in my mind it burnt out long ago and I can't see why he still wants me that bad! He's way younger than me and though I am fighting hard now to lose those extra pounds I'm still rather cuddly! So getting back to what I was saying oh yes well I have a vivid imagination and is this just tittilation and if it came to the crunch would I back off? Because although my unmet needs are starting to get me down what do you chose ...someone who taught you what love is or what your body cries out for?

That's a tough choice, Annie. Honestly, you need both. While love is desperately, incredibl important, your body's needs will drive you to frustrated distraction, which it sounds like you're near now. You may well get to a point where you snap, and simply give in to temptation. Personally, this is a bad thing.

In my life, I would simply have a discussion with your husband. It's rough, and horrible to contemplate, but if he is physically incapable of handling your needs, and can't get the usual treatments, perhaps it is time to discuss a secondary relationship. It probably sounds odd, but, in my eyes, it is better than simply cheating on him. Give him the chance to make an informed, rational decision. Better to let him consent, than to let him wonder, let distrust build, and take the chance of discovery.

I am against cheating in an emotionally functional relationship. Sure, if you are both estranged, whatever. You're two people that live together, walk your own path. But in a relationship where both parties love each other, communicate your needs and desires. If your partner is flat incapable of providing a given need, talk about obtaining it outside the relationship.

To move the topic away from emotionally heavy pursuits, let's say you were bisexual and gave that up to be with him. After many years of marriage, you are truly desperate for the touch of a woman. He can't provide that. Would it be better to discuss it with him, or just cheat on him?

I say discuss. Better to be honest, even though you know it will hurt him emotionally. Trust me when I say that being caught cheating will destroy him emotionally.

The alternative is to keep pressing it down and pressing it down til eventually you break and fuck the plumber, or you start to resent the man you love. Give him the chance to prevent those scenarios.

And, as always, my advice is based on what works for me. I'm in a polyfidelitous triad. By default I'm cool with the concept of additional lovers.

as an aside, poly is fucking rough. Don't expect it to be easy even if you are just planning on adding a NSA sex monkey. Complexity is a given when hearts or pink bits are involved.