How did you get into BDSM?

[nh23]

There have been several studies that I've read here lately that are showing that people who participate in BDSM activities on average have higher IQ's. Hmm..maybe we just know something the rest of the world hasn't figured out yet.

 

[hobbit.]

Well, I met so many forum trolls over the years that I finally decided that I will practice the use of ball gags and whips. But as your kind is rather cowardly, I had to take other people for the training. This is how it started.

well you are very tough and hard. keyboard, mouse, monitor, firewall.... scarry dude.

 

[hobbit.]

When he starts putting the people of this forum down, just because he doesn't understand us; then yeah i will take it serious. Because until he has lived in our shoes, he has no right to judge us.

And no, not taking it out on you, pink.

you're funny.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I'm just a godless heathen.

All hail and bow down to Syd!

Oh...

Wait...

You said "godless", I thought that was "goddess". My bad. Neeeeeeeevvvvvvvermind!

 

[EmpressFi]

Hrm.. maybe it was all those years of holding my mom's hand as I fell asleep. Ohhh I know.. it was when my brothers made me watch Star Trek while they babysat me.

Actually, I had a normal childhood, no abuse. A crappy first marriage.. and one of my lovers was into bondage and light D/s... and I loved it.. I still love it..

Hurt me, beat me, make me write bad checks...

 

[wsidersbaby]

How'd I Get Into Bd(sm)

Very Carefully...

Funny Question. How Does Anyone Get Into Anything???

But If You Must Know, I've Always Been Enamored Of Spanking... I Guess It Just Followed Naturally.

 

[DangerousCurvz]

I had a pretty normal childhood. No major traumas (a few concussions from falling off of office chairs, bikes, horses, etc.)

I started experimenting with my sexuality before I ever got to kindergarten. My first sexual experience was with the girl next door. After that, I was a virgin (technically) until just before my 21st birthday. I was never a loser or a promiscuous person, but I was always a deviant. I have no idea where this came from. I have decided it's just who I am.

Come on Hobbit-join us here on the dark side.

 

[desertslave]

I was never abused as a child, either. I'm adopted, but it was never a deep dark secret. My parents truly WANTED me, and I've been loved nearly to the point of spoiling. I grew up fortunate, well-educated, churchified and all that nice stuff.

But when I played with the kids in the neighborhood, my favorite outside games involved chasing, being captured, and tied to a tree. Then breaking loose only to be caught and tied up again. Got me "hot" as I later understood.

In college I tried to seduce my physics tutor. He turned the tables on me. He was an experienced dominant and taught me the ropes, literally.

I tried "reforming" to vanilla several years ago, and managed to make myself and everyone around me miserable in the process. I came back to the "dark side" and I'm much happier now.

Outwardly, we appear to be an old-fashioned, 'hubby in charge' couple. The fact that he swings a flogger and makes me cum and scream at the same time is nobody's bizness but ours.

 

[Guest]

There have been several studies that I've read here lately that are showing that people who participate in BDSM activities on average have higher IQ's. Hmm..maybe we just know something the rest of the world hasn't figured out yet.

I would tend to agree.

It's as much mind fucking as physical sex.

 

[unfoundiamond]

i thought i was the only one who knew that

 

[graceanne]

Come on Hobbit-join us here on the dark side.

We have chocolate.

Seriously, don't you feel that their's a bit 'protesting too much' going on here? He puts a lot of time and energy into putting us down and talking about bdsm for someone who isn't thinking about it, and if why's he spending so much thinking about it? Hm?

 

[dexwebster]

Actually, engaging in BDSM type activities requires great confidence, trust and strength of character. You don't see wimpy little nerds lining up for white water rafting.

Perhaps that's why you don't get it.

All troll-baiting and what not aside, I've gotta say that I don't really agree with this. It would be nice to think that the only people who do BDSM are confident, strong, ethical people, but in my experience that's simply not so. We can be just as fucked up and manipulative and self-destructive as anyone else. BDSM *can* be just an easy way out. I've looked at people in my local scene plenty of times and just been thinking, for whatever reason, "You really are not mentally capable of doing this safely."

 

[graceanne]

All troll-baiting and what not aside, I've gotta say that I don't really agree with this. It would be nice to think that the only people who do BDSM are confident, strong, ethical people, but in my experience that's simply not so. We can be just as fucked up and manipulative and self-destructive as anyone else. BDSM *can* be just an easy way out. I've looked at people in my local scene plenty of times and just been thinking, for whatever reason, "You really are not mentally capable of doing this safely."

Yeah, where's that sign? You know, the one that bill engval talks about? Their are definitely some bdsm people who should have that tattooed to their HEADS.

 

[EmpressFi]

All troll-baiting and what not aside, I've gotta say that I don't really agree with this. It would be nice to think that the only people who do BDSM are confident, strong, ethical people, but in my experience that's simply not so. We can be just as fucked up and manipulative and self-destructive as anyone else. BDSM *can* be just an easy way out. I've looked at people in my local scene plenty of times and just been thinking, for whatever reason, "You really are not mentally capable of doing this safely."

But that's true with just about everything, even 'nilla relationships. There are people who stay with abusive people because.. well while yeah, the person is bad for them, cheats on them, beats them up, takes their money, makes them feel lower than shit..but "I love them". There are people all over who should have signs that say, "I'm not healthy enough to make my own decisions"

 

[VelvetDarkness]

All troll-baiting and what not aside, I've gotta say that I don't really agree with this. It would be nice to think that the only people who do BDSM are confident, strong, ethical people, but in my experience that's simply not so. We can be just as fucked up and manipulative and self-destructive as anyone else. BDSM *can* be just an easy way out. I've looked at people in my local scene plenty of times and just been thinking, for whatever reason, "You really are not mentally capable of doing this safely."

Assuming that this is not true of all relationship dynamics is naive. BDSM just ups the stakes and potential for physical/psychological damage.

I agree with your post but if you're going into it responsibly and for the right reasons it does require strength of character.

But that's true with just about everything, even 'nilla relationships.

Indeedy. People do all manner of things they're not capable of doing safely or well, they make bad choices for themselves.

 

[enpassant18]

I experienced the pleasure of being served by a sub at the age of 15. I used to babysit for a woman who's husband was in the military. She seemed ancient to me; I later learned she was only about 10 years older than I. We used to play a game called Princess or Pet which she would lose on purpose so that i would use her as my pet.
Besides associating the lifestyle with my youth and how I lost my virginity, there is another aspect to it that beats vanilla relationships. For me, 'nilla sex is often just two people rubbing against each other, each one trying to get off. There is no intimacy in it. I've never had someone focus on me like a sub and I've never been so involved with someone else than when I am domming. For me, it's about intimacy and close connection, and invading completely the sub's internal conversation.
I've probably exhibited my own pathologies in this clumsy post but it captures what the experience is for me- complete psychic intimacy.

 

[unfoundiamond]

did respond to this one allready??

I don't know why I am participating in this thread but...

I met a man who had the capability to command me to do whatever he wanted without even raising his voice above a whisper... barely touched my wrist and I gravititated to him like a magnet...

He had a silent calm power about him, I was dying to be under him and so I told him how he made me feel, he began to give me books to read but never pushed me to be any one role, insted asked what I liked, where I saw myself...

This allowed me to be myself without being put in a role,

I decided for myself, he showed me books and sites, didn't even tell me what he liked or was,
So to this day I don't know if he's just a dom... I think he's a switch tho...

Maybe service bottom... or service top... not sure.

 

[Sir_Julian]

well.....

.....

 

[mangosteen]

Quite naturally, some partner along the way introduced me to it. I'm mostly just a bondage girl, but I'm not against a bit of a spanking now and again.

 

[IcePrincessA87]

i remember being 13 and online and reading about BDSM. talking with different people in adult chat rooms i wasn't supposed to be into. it interested me so much. and ive always loved it, even before i started having sex i knew i liked it.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I'm Game

I find it bizzare, if not more than a bit wierd, so how does a person go from 'normal' into BDSM? is it parental abuse for example, or lack of confidence?

First define "normal"? And next define "BDSM"?

I've had a penchant during my 153-story writing career having bondage in many cases being a focus of some of those stories. In the latest incest yarn "Dreams of my Brother" it began with a bondage scenario where the bondage was actually a symbolic dream indicative of a sister's inability to vocalize the growing desire for her brother.

Well, apparently I crossed some line and received much hate-mail saying I was writing BDSM. So I decided to try my hand at BDSM. I wrote a story, Gideon's Gate, originally intended for three chapters and submitted a partial sample to the forum. I was kindly informed by TX RAD and others that what I'd written was a non-con story, which I've since tweaked.

So last night I "submitted" to Laurel (LOL) and I hope it will be accepted into the BDSM cat. I will shamelessly say that it is well-written and self-edited, but I may have missed a few things. I submitted the entire story so it'll be 5 Lit pages, hopefully enjoyable. Breaking it up into smaller segments would have "farmed" it out to other cats.