How far do you go before you're considered gay?

[Gods_Favorite]

I think is when you give up pussy and just want cock

That’s where I am.

 

[mattmayjor56]

Question is, how far do you go before you're gay?

So about labels:
As humans, labels are what we do. We're constantly looking at the world and putting names to things. We walk into a room and look at a person's race, age, clothing, make-up, hair cut, demeanor...and without even trying or meaning to, we immediately put a label on them. Criminal, terrorist, grandma, punk, rich, poor, slut, model, fat, beautiful, mean, angry, kind, gentle...
All that labeling happens in a fraction of a second after we meet someone, and as soon as we put a label on someone we bring all of the baggage we associate with that label and plop it down over that person. We stop seeing them, we imagine that we "know" who they are, and we start seeing the label.
I'm not saying that's always a bad thing. Labeling is built in. It's part of our operating system. Seeing a twitch of brown in the bush and labeling it "lion" saved our ancestors butts enough times that it was passed down in our DNA.
But there is a zen proverb that talks about a "finger pointing at the moon." It seems like it should be really obvious, but as humans we have a really strong tendency to mistake the finger for the moon. The labels we put on each other, and the labels we put on ourselves are like fingers: little shortcuts we use that in reality tell us little or nothing about the complex, unique, multi-faceted, flawed and beautiful person right in front of us.
When I was growing up, calling someone gay, or queer or a faggot was about the worst insult you could utter (possibly unless the target of your insult was Black). All that negative baggage about being some flavor of LGBTQ was laid on us by our culture long before we ourselves even went through puberty. And when we did finally arrive at puberty, those of us who now identify as anything less than 100% straight had very few positive role models to teach us what we could be. Instead we were faced with shame and isolation and fear.
They say that behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining, and I think the tragedy of the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 80's and 90's had the paradoxical effect of forcing gay's out of the closet. We went from seeing gays as evil, dirty, perverts: we were forced to started seeing gays as sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents...and right before our eyes the world changed.
So back to your question, "How far do you go before you're gay?" You are not a label! Your experiences may shape you, but they do not define you. Spend a little less time today labeling yourself and others...it's liberating. It really is.

 

[jbm02]

Labeling can be good to a point as it can help us identify ourselves. You just need to keep in mind what mattmayjor said about the negative aspects and realize everyone is more that that.
Labeling also isn't something that should be rushed. I'm gay, but it took me a while to "label" myself as gay. I just went out with who I went out with, kissed, had sex with and so forth with who I wanted. After doing this for a while I realized that I like men and am not attracted to women.

Also, gay is about who you love more than it is about sex. Many times they go hand in hand, but you can also have one without the other.

 

[Mqoi]

I'm more into the person than what sex they are. That said, I think and fantasize more about men than women these days. When it comes to porn, if it's straight porn, I'm more interested in the guy than the girl. And if it's gay porn, I'm really interested.

 

[londonmrhappy]

If you're exclusively attracted to other men and only other men, then you're gay. It's as simple as that.

If you experience other kinds of attraction as well, there are a million and one microlabels that might fit your particular life experience; bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, etc. Point is, whatever you feel like you are, you are. Full stop.

Totally this.

 

[mwmdallas]

Labels

I thought you were gay only if you swallowed, anything else was just "experimenting". <- Thats a joke just in case someone wants to get upset with my definition.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Labels but I would say when you first feel his kiss and like it. Then You need it