How much of an age difference are you comfortable with?

[Lusty Lil Vixen]

Age for me isn't something I typically think about I suppose. Though if I had to sit down and actually think about it I can say with almost certainty that I wouldn't want anyone younger than myself, but chances are those thoughts would change as I got older. Just seems to me that I can't imagine myself submitting to a guy or girl who is younger than me at the age of 23. I guess for some reason it's a turn off.

Other than that it all depends on the person. If chemistry is there and you're attracted to the individual I honestly don't know how much of an age difference I'd be willing to go with. Perhaps in my head I just figure the older the more experianced and patient an individual would be.

~Vixxy

 

[Richard49]

I prefer younger women

 

[Etoile]

I seem to prefer people who are older than myself. My one failed relationship was with a girl a couple of years younger than me, and that was a complete disaster. My girlfriend is 12 years older than I am, and my Daddy is 20 years older than I am. It wasn't something I set out to seek - I don't have a fetish for people older than myself - but it just seems to be how things work best for me.

 

[Raeth]

All of my sexual partners except for one have been at least 5 years older... most in their early thirties. Before I was married I really didn't have any limits as far as how old someone could be...

My wife is 29 and I am 21... which I think is perfect. Every relationship I have had with anyone my age or younger has always been a mess. They were too uncertain about too many things. It just made me feel silly all the time... always felt like we had completely different interests and priorities.

With the right person I think almost any age difference can be acceptable. Though some people seem to have issues with how much older my wife is... yet if I was the older one then nobody would really have a problem. Bastards.

 

[Betticus]

All of my sexual partners except for one have been at least 5 years older... most in their early thirties. Before I was married I really didn't have any limits as far as how old someone could be...

My wife is 29 and I am 21... which I think is perfect. Every relationship I have had with anyone my age or younger has always been a mess. They were too uncertain about too many things. It just made me feel silly all the time... always felt like we had completely different interests and priorities.

With the right person I think almost any age difference can be acceptable. Though some people seem to have issues with how much older my wife is... yet if I was the older one then nobody would really have a problem. Bastards.

Fuck 'em. You and your wife are happy and that's no one elses business.

 

[catalina_francisco]

All of my sexual partners except for one have been at least 5 years older... most in their early thirties. Before I was married I really didn't have any limits as far as how old someone could be...

My wife is 29 and I am 21... which I think is perfect. Every relationship I have had with anyone my age or younger has always been a mess. They were too uncertain about too many things. It just made me feel silly all the time... always felt like we had completely different interests and priorities.

With the right person I think almost any age difference can be acceptable. Though some people seem to have issues with how much older my wife is... yet if I was the older one then nobody would really have a problem. Bastards.

Wouldn't let it bother me if I were you. I am 9 years older than Master and it is working better than fantastic ...it is how it works for you that counts, not people with strange pre-defined tables and lists in their head of how the world must function to satisfy them.

Catalina

 

[Raeth]

I agree with the two of you. I think it's great... I wouldn't change a thing.

Nobody we actually care about has any issues with it. The inlaws don't even have any problems.

The only people who really seem to have problems are some of the people she works with in the Army. I think some of the guys in her unit think she "needs a real man"... but we can deal with a few ignorant assholes.

The Army isn't really a very progressive organization. Any penetration that isn't between a man and a woman, penis to vagina, is still considered illegal... I think up to five years in prison. Of course, the only times I have ever heard of them using that is when it's attached to something else, like sexual assualt, child molestation. Still, it's possible. Hypocrites, all of them.

Don't ask, don't tell....

Anyways, sorry for hijacking this off subject. I'll stop now!

 

[puppity]

age difference

hi, i just found this forum. this is my first post. i'm 49--my man is 23, and we've been together for 5-1/2 years. we're thinking of marriage, but we're in no rush.

i've always fantasized about male domination--never thought i would really experience any. but lately, he's discovered he likes it too. for a few weeks, he seemed to love ordering me sexually (dick hard as a rock), with slight discipline, asked me to have my nipples pierced as a symbol of his ownership (which i did).

very exciting, except i'm afraid i like it more than he does. he's backing off and seems to not understand, but i'm thinking it's more that he's uncomfortable.

i had accepted leaving it in the realm of fantasy, but now it's always on my mind.

any suggestions?

 

[Richard49]

Re: age difference

any suggestions?

my suggestion is to go to the library of this board
you will find a number of threads that you might find useful
and post any question that each thread generates

good luck

 

[Etoile]

Re: age difference

hi, i just found this forum. this is my first post. i'm 49--my man is 23, and we've been together for 5-1/2 years. we're thinking of marriage, but we're in no rush.

i've always fantasized about male domination--never thought i would really experience any. but lately, he's discovered he likes it too. for a few weeks, he seemed to love ordering me sexually (dick hard as a rock), with slight discipline, asked me to have my nipples pierced as a symbol of his ownership (which i did).

very exciting, except i'm afraid i like it more than he does. he's backing off and seems to not understand, but i'm thinking it's more that he's uncomfortable.

i had accepted leaving it in the realm of fantasy, but now it's always on my mind.

any suggestions?

Welcome to the board, puppity!

It actually doesn't surprise me much that your partner has drifted in and out of interest in BDSM. He's 23! I'm 23 too. If you've been with him for 5.5yrs, then you've been with him since he was 18. It seems unlikely that he has had a lot of sexual experience, especially with kinky things. So he thought he'd give this new game a try, but maybe he doesn't really like it all that much.

As for getting your nipples pierced as a symbol of ownership, I'm surprised you took that step so early. Many couples in BDSM-based relationships wait until they are sure of the partnering (and especially sure of mutual interest in BDSM) before any sort of collaring or marking is undertaken. Mostly-vanilla relationships that are just casual in their approach to kink don't usually involve "ownership."

What can you do now? Well, I think Dan Savage of Savage Love would have better advice than I do, but I'll give it a try. I recommend talking to him about this. Read up first, as Richard49 suggested, and then approach him about it. Let him know how important your submission is to you, and how much you enjoyed your previous play. Maybe he's just bored, in which case you can find ways to spice things up!

 

[bytor2112]

Re: age difference

hi, i just found this forum. this is my first post. i'm 49--my man is 23, and we've been together for 5-1/2 years. we're thinking of marriage, but we're in no rush.

i've always fantasized about male domination--never thought i would really experience any. but lately, he's discovered he likes it too. for a few weeks, he seemed to love ordering me sexually (dick hard as a rock), with slight discipline, asked me to have my nipples pierced as a symbol of his ownership (which i did).

very exciting, except i'm afraid i like it more than he does. he's backing off and seems to not understand, but i'm thinking it's more that he's uncomfortable.

i had accepted leaving it in the realm of fantasy, but now it's always on my mind.

any suggestions?

why would a 23 year old want to marry a 49 year old????

he could be fucking and sucking with 20 year old hotties.....but maybe the fact that you have such low self esteem that he can virtually OWN you factors into the decision..

and don't listen to these disturbed people here...you need help for wanting to be dominated..it is not, i repeat NOT, normal behavior in psychologically sound individuals...

 

[Richard49]

remember folks
don't feed the trolls

they are nothing but cowards
who hide behind screen names

 

[bytor2112]

remember folks
don't feed the trolls

they are nothing but cowards
who hide behind screen names

yeah but at least i have the decency to tell these poor souls that they have serious psychological problems while you and others choose to ignore the abnormal behavior and the effect it has on lives...

you're a real hero Richard49...

 

[Richard49]

In addition to age difference or perhaps in place of are
1) cultural differences
2) maturity
3) shared language

Most of my lovers over the last 30 years have been younger
In many ways it has worked
someone i have a lot of interest in at the moment
is very intelligent and advid reader
we share that

Now the down side is these younger sweethearts
were not alive when I was in VN
when I retunred and was called a baby killer
they have no idea what kerry is doing to my insides
so that is one part of the shares language we do not have

So as was posted above commnications is important
but it takes two

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Grinnin' at the old bull walking down the hill

you go boy!

 

[Guest]

BRAVO

BRAVO!!!

Bravo for Richard!!

>>>yeah but at least i have the decency to tell these poor souls that they have serious psychological problems while you and others choose to ignore the abnormal behavior and the effect it has on lives...

you're a real hero Richard49...<<<

Yes...He is.

Actually - it has only recently been decided that age difference realtionships were a "problem".
For a great deal of human history - they were pretty normal.
And to the surprise and chagrin of some, a lot of them occur because of the younger partners ....dissapointment, with persons of their own age group.
Besides ..as "Serious psychological problems" (which I rather doubt this falls into the catagory of) go, preferring a lover with enough experience, skill, technique, and understanding, to get the job done, hardly seems that awful...now does it?

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

Well this is my first post though I have been lurking in the shadows getting a feel for the forum for a while now. Personally I have no problem with any age difference as long as the age involved doesn't break any laws. How well people work together depends on the individuals and their chemistry, not when they were born. My current relationship is with someone 22 years my senior and, other than the occasional references that bring realization, we never think about the gap.

The only thing that frustrates me is the judgements made about us by people that do not know anything about our relationship. I find it very disrespectful that people think that I am little more than a puppet because I choose to date an older man. I date someone because I love them, not because I am incapable of making my own decisions or standing by myself.

Of course I also enjoy messing with the minds of those that try and make those judgements. The closed mind makes a good volleyball!

*goes back to her new mantra*
I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

 

[snowy ciara]

Welcome W Rose.. I sing that mantra too..

Agewise, it doesn't really matter to me except for two things. The average 18-19 year old male is still somewhat immature, (yes, I know there are some exceptions; several of them post around here ) and I don't feel like wasting my time on them. The other thing is, at my current age, even if a younger person is mature enough for me, we run into legality issues. I'm not much past "jail bait" status myself. Now girls my age, I like them lots.

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

Thank you Snowy Ciara, and btw I love your signature. I can understand the age issue from your perspective too, since you sound like you're in the same position I am. I have dated men my age but none of them really seemed that mature and they usually didn't know how to treat women correctly. Though I am finding some of the women close to my age quite appealing, it would only be as a third.

Over all though, I judge by the person, not by the number. I've known 50 year olds that weren't as mature as most 20 year olds, as well as 16 year olds that seemed like 40. Everyone is different and that is one of the beauties of humanity.

 

[bytor2112]

typical responses from people wqho have the same mental problems....sigh...

 

[Richard49]

*goes back to her new mantra*
I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

remember trolls are
1) 2 cell morans
but some 2 cell morans are not trolls
just morans
2) that they are cowards
they hide behind screen names and other shit

See that picture in my AV
that's me
see the location
that is where I live

I may be physically challenged and not able to keep a woman
but a coward I am not

 

[Jetta_Wales]

My Huaband is 10 1/2 years older than me. He is now 31 and I am still 20. I think that maturity does not go just by age but by life experiance. I have been through a hell of a lot for a 20 year old and my husband has had a relativly calm life and so our age gap isn't much of an issue.

However when we first got together I was only 17 (we live in the UK and the legal age of concent is 16 here) and I can now notice that I have still grown up a lot since then and also since my life setled and calmed down.

It does occationaly become noticable however mainly with unimportant things like music and TV (I find it amazing that he is old enough to have actualy seen Bambi in the cinema lol).

Now we have been married for a year and have a 4 month old daughter. He was ready for that because he was older and I was because being adelecent had brought me nothing but trouble and having had to grow up very fast I was now ready also when it would have taken most other people far longer.

Sorry to babble.

 

[Guest]

Nice

remember trolls are
1) 2 cell morans
but some 2 cell morans are not trolls
just morans
2) that they are cowards
they hide behind screen names and other shit

See that picture in my AV
that's me
see the location
that is where I live

I may be physically challenged and not able to keep a woman
but a coward I am not

*grin* Nice Digs.....Good taste...

Yah know, I keep meaning to change my AV - but (besides liking the one I have now) I can never find a pic of myself that I like ...I always seem to end up on the other side of the camera.

Oh, and as for age difference - *shrug* as long as it falls between the legal limits, it really is something one must take on a case by case basis.

As for trolly twit up there.....
*GRIN*
Remember ... he is a troll because his life is just not interesting enough to post here (or prob anywhere else) legitimately.
Otherwise he wouldn't be trolling here..now would he?

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

How much of an age difference am I comfortable with?

Quite a bit, actually. I'm just shy of 42, and he's 30. There are lots of reasons we are together, his age being one of the very minor reasons. I like some of the qualities that I feel his age brings to the table.

It's been my experience that those "older, wiser, more stately doms take themselves just a bit toooooo seriously for my taste.

Anyone who's read any of JMs posts here know's that taking himself seriously is not one of his downfalls. *smirk*

I've had relationships with men my own age, and those are *shrugs*, ok. I just have no interest in the older gentlemen. No daddy doms for me, thanks. Not my gig, at ALL. No elder statesmen here, thanks.

I'll stay firmly planted in the....what did you call it?

Oh....the Demi camp.

LOL.

~anelize

 

[fille]

Definitely 10 years in either direction. Probably up to fifteen or so years older than me. Don't think I would go fifteen years younger. For a relationship, that is. Just sex? I'd go twenty.