How to Critique A Friend's Poetry

[bflagsst]

Thanks again for the replies.

Hey, if you haven't already, go over to the other section of the board and post one of your favorite poems you've written, and write a few lines about it. It's GreenMountaineer's thread "Poet's Choice".

 

[UnderYourSpell]

that's awful.

if you can't find anything positive to say about it at all, maybe make some constructive remarks on how to improve without delving too harshly into why it's so shitty. Lying to someone about their writing is cheap. As a person, all you have is your word. Now how can anyone trust your opinions if you offer them, however genuinely?

Failure in his objective then on at least two counts I think then .....

 

[Palba_Noruda]

There's no reason to try and trick someone into sharing, no need for a master plan. Most folks who let you know they are depressed and suicidal do so because they want you to listen to them. I would just ask him to go into detail about why he thinks his life turned out so bad. Maybe he can do that in story form.

I agree with Epmd on this one. This person really needs somebody to hear him right now. I know that can be exhausting and difficult, but bflag, you are doing a really good thing being there for him.

The quality of his poetry is not a very big deal right now for anybody. Like you said, he's lonely and alienated, he's not despairing over his art. His life and well being are more important. You will not be doing him a cosmic disservice by holding back harsh criticism. I'm not saying you should lie to him, but I do think you should tread lightly. You might even want to pass when he asks you to critique, but I would encourage you to attempt to maintain a dialogue with him in some capacity.

Perhaps you could tell him that sometimes you feel very unsure about how to critique poems. That would be a true statement.

Perhaps you say that you feel a little tapped out on critique and need to recharge yourself by writing some poetry.

Perhaps you suggest that instead of critiquing him, the two of you exchange poems for awhile.

It seems like this person is important to you, and the fact that you care and read his emails and read his poetry shows that there is something worth exploring between you two.

If you do end up exchanging poems, I would try to resist the urge to just rewrite his. You might write on the same topic or themes, but I would try to avoid rewriting. Send him a rough draft, a second draft, something unfinished... Whatever you end up sending to him, it will be influenced by the words and experiences you have shared, no matter what the subject or themes or emotions involved...


I think it would be a good idea to exchange poems, but I must admit that I don't take my own advice. I have a very good friend who is a writer. In fact I first met him ten years ago, and he had these piles of paper on his kitchen table and it was and is such an inspiration to me. Him and his piles of writing. Beautiful.

Well, then it turns out that over the next ten years I have rarely "liked" a thing he wrote. I like that he writes it, but a lot of what he writes doesn't really "ring" for me in any special way. Really, it's nice poetry. Some of my misgivings I'm sure are due to the fact that we come from different places, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc, and due to the fact that I'm not an uber-sensitive reader of poetry...

I have given him very good critiques over the course of the years. Last year, I dug into a poem he had done and I spent over an hour writing this critique, and through writing the critique I very much began to see into some of his images, etc... It was a very very dense poem... why he insists on making that shit so opaque is beyond me... it seems very out of fashion to me LOL... but I still dug in there and gave him a good critique and some of my interpretation... I did find things to like through the process... Another thing is that I very much dislike certain aspects of the way he runs his life in general... some things that rub me the wrong way in a profound way... and i think that definitely colors how i read his poetry...

Another thing i find helpful is to try not to think of the work in terms of like/dislike or good/bad. To me, those are overly simplistic ways of considering another human being's creative expression. I find myself thinking in those terms and wonder if I've regressed to elementary school. I wonder if maybe just maybe i could rise to another level of understanding, i wonder if i can make room for a shade of gray. I wonder if i will ever be able to look at the world and see anything that i don't immediately categorize as good or bad. I wonder if i will ever be able to write a bittersweet ending to a story. I wonder if I will ever be able to think symbolically or if I will ever be able to shift my paradigms. I think: this habit of considering things in terms of like/dislike and good/bad has served me well to this point, why would i want to expose a weaker part of my spirit?

Edit: You might want to look up ways to deal with a suicidal long-distance friend.
Encourage him to get professional help: has he seen a medical doctor? There may be something going on physically that is contributing to his depression, that should be checked on by a doctor. Is he seeing a counselor or therapist? Is he in school? The school may have a free program. Or if he has a job he may have insurance and a low co-pay.

Is he giving things away? Is he saying last good byes? Has he told you he has a plan on how he's going to do it?

From what I understand, having a plan is a very major warning sign. Do you know anybody near where he lives? If you do, you may want to touch base with that person.

Dealing with a friend or family member who suffers from a serious emotional problem can be daunting ... you are a good friend, bflag.

 

[bflagsst]

Thanks for the reply. It's still a tense issue, as I can't get anyone else to write him or call him because they don't think it's necessary. But I read his poems and I think I know the difference between poetic license and absolute misery.

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Thanks for the reply. It's still a tense issue, as I can't get anyone else to write him or call him because they don't think it's necessary. But I read his poems and I think I know the difference between poetic license and absolute misery.

That's too bad that his other friends aren't there.

I'm not sure I follow the part about poetic license and absolute misery...

 

[annaswirls]

. Unless it's a female poet, I'll always just tell them it's great because I want every female on the planet to like me.

Glorious. I love to see honesty presented like a wild fowl on a tree trunk, you know what is coming to your plate.

 

[annaswirls]

You have gotten some really good suggestions on how to relate to a person who may be suicidal. I think that a good way to approach it is to just ask him-- are you planning on suicide? It might sound harsh, but if he is serious about it, he will probably have a plan. Sometimes verbalizing it to someone can shatter the illusion that it is a good idea.

I had a close friend who was suicidal and the feeling of responsibility for him nearly killed me. I had to go to a therapist to learn how to deal with the pressure, to get permission to go on with my life and not be held hostage. Again, sounds rough, but remember to take care of yourself.

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks for the reply. It's still a tense issue, as I can't get anyone else to write him or call him because they don't think it's necessary. But I read his poems and I think I know the difference between poetic license and absolute misery.

by me...©

suicide?

go your own way little seed
and take a spark of hope

extinguish memory in a flash
of bright light

Smoke at the end of a barrel
Off the blade of a knife
Seen behind bulging eyes

as your fingers tear at the rope
as you press towels to your wrists
as your fingers push the buttons

summon them in drops of red
splashes of red
flickers of red
call for help now

don't you see that
a life not loved
is a love not lived?

 

[bflagsst]

by me...©

suicide?

go your own way little seed
and take a spark of hope

extinguish memory in a flash
of bright light

Smoke at the end of a barrel
Off the blade of a knife
Seen behind bulging eyes

as your fingers tear at the rope
as you press towels to your wrists
as your fingers push the buttons

summon them in drops of red
splashes of red
flickers of red
call for help now

don't you see that
a life not loved
is a love not lived?

Résumé by. D. Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.


I wanna get in a time machine and go back and have a torrid love affair with Dorothy. This poem sorta makes things clear on the issue for me. If there are no real reasons for living there are probably no real reasons for dying either. Oh yeah, I'd have to know the person to know the difference between misery and license.

 

[bflagsst]

Glorious. I love to see honesty presented like a wild fowl on a tree trunk, you know what is coming to your plate.

lol. I don't know what this means but it sounds poetic.

 

[annaswirls]

lol. I don't know what this means but it sounds poetic.

Can I use that on the back of my first book of poetry?

of course, that will never happen, but if it does, I would like to use this quote as a review

 

[The_Fool]

Can I use that on the back of my first book of poetry?

of course, that will never happen, but if it does, I would like to use this quote as a review

If I can put a book of poetry out, anybody can. And that is an excellent line. I like it a lot.

 

[annaswirls]

If I can put a book of poetry out, anybody can. And that is an excellent line. I like it a lot.

Hey, where is the link to your book?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hey, where is the link to your book?

Does Amazon have it? I've got a voucher burning a hole in my inbox

 

[The_Fool]

Hey, where is the link to your book?

Does Amazon have it? I've got a voucher burning a hole in my inbox

Link


For the what its worth category:

epic award finalists

 

[The_Fool]

Link


For the what its worth category:

epic award finalists

Too bad they misspelled my name. How foolish of them....

 

[butters]

Too bad they misspelled my name. How foolish of them....

Many congratulations!

 

[vrosej10]

Go your bad self Fool!!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Link


For the what its worth category:

epic award finalists

Doesn't seem to be available over here