How to get a guy when you are shy

[TarnishedPenny]

He feels good by being able to help

Find a hobby, something you REALLY enjoy. Find a local club for that hobby or even start off slower with like an online forum that enjoys said hobby. Slowly get to know people that way. To a guy, nothing is hotter than finding a woman that enjoys the same HOBBY as he does...

Take it further. Every guy is programmed to enjoy being praised by gals for helping. "Jamie, "I can't figure out how to rewire/program/rearrange/fix this/start my lawnmower/saddle my horse. Can you help me, please?" Big eyes, inside normal personal space, gentle touch on forearm add to request efficiency. He helps, you learn more about each other. Then offer to buy him dinner as a reward.

 

[blackstallion21]

love this thread...

you wouldn't think that I am the social introvert that I am but I am as well and I appreciate some of the advice that you all have written, I am going to apply this to my life as well and see where it gets me!


Thanks So Much Guys

 

[oxfordsea]

Theatre - In The Air

Like for real, i have been single for 3 or 4 years like no kissing no anything! Problem is, i am shy, and not so confident with my self. Dont tell me to get over it i wont! But seriously to compound this issue i dont go out to clubs because i dont like them nor do i dance. And online dating is not my cup of tea.... I really cannot figure out this dating or even hooking up thing.... Help!

Go to your local professional repertory theatre company. For years one of the most popular mid-week nights for a theatre company is singles night. There is usually a talk with the director or a cast member after the show, along with wine and food. I won't speak for other cities, but here in Seattle this is still a hit. A 90 - 120 minute show, a short talk, laughter, and two glasses of white wine, and pretty much everyone is ready to ask and answer. It makes for a safe set up. Exchange numbers there. Then from home you can call and plan the date. Lets you feel safe, in control, and keeps the stress low. Plus you come to the first date with a few things to talk about that came up in the play you saw. Not to mention a couple items of what makes them laugh.

Singles night at the theatre . . .

 

[ready2obey]

JUst smile

If you want a guy to notice you, just smile.
Men are no different than woman. They want to meet the opposite sex,... unless of course you're gay or a lebian.
If they smile back, just walk up and say hi, and introduce yourself.
Trust me he's hoping you'll do that.
I wish someone would have given me this advice years ago.

 

[Athalia]

Go to your local professional repertory theatre company. .

Or to your local amateur theater company, and try out for roles. This will give you some impetus to get out of your usual personality and try another on. The advice a good director gives you on playing a role can open you up to different ways to approach a situation. And remember that the job of any actor is to be able to step outside themselves and be different people. And the more successful they are at helping you be that different person, the more successful they'll be at becoming those different people themselves. So they've got a stake in helping you out of your shell as well.


Try it! you may surprise yourself!

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Or to your local amateur theater company, and try out for roles. This will give you some impetus to get out of your usual personality and try another on. The advice a good director gives you on playing a role can open you up to different ways to approach a situation. And remember that the job of any actor is to be able to step outside themselves and be different people. And the more successful they are at helping you be that different person, the more successful they'll be at becoming those different people themselves. So they've got a stake in helping you out of your shell as well.

Good point. It also gets you comfortable with presenting yourself in front of strangers - exactly the opposite of shyness.

 

[Snowbunnie12]

Just ask lol! Guys are easy! It’s girls that are hard to get

 

[loveroflove]

Just ask lol! Guys are easy! It’s girls that are hard to get

I jabe slowly gotten a little more confident and have found out i am apparently attracted to married or soon to be married men! Sadness! Add to that i attract submossive polyamorous men! The latter i am ok with but.... 2 subs do not make for a good time

 

[Sheana_V]

Many of the cutest guys seem to be oblivious to subtle gestures of attraction. It's easiest when you're shy to bat you eyelashes and hope they are getting the message. However for many of them, at some point you'll have to say "Hey, can I ask you a personal question?", and then ask if they find you attractive.

 

[A_Hockey_Guy]

Many of the cutest guys seem to be oblivious to subtle gestures of attraction. It's easiest when you're shy to bat you eyelashes and hope they are getting the message. However for many of them, at some point you'll have to say "Hey, can I ask you a personal question?", and then ask if they find you attractive.

This.

On behalf of men, we are oblivious.

We want to know what you are thinking, but we suck at it something awful.

Throw us a bone. Give us a hint.