how to get my wife swinging more

[aljolson69]

Based on what you’ve said here, I’m amazed she hasn’t left you already.

and this is the whole point. you cannot know what my situation is merely armed with the limited info ive posted on here and i think it is highly disrespectful and big headed of you to offer your thoughts on that topic. either address the issue or button it please. how dare you cast aspersions on my integrity as a loving husband based on what is basically background info to a question im asking.

 

[NightL]

People are purely responding to the words you wrote. Which is basically “How do I make her do what I want, of which she does not want to do?”

Remember these are the words you wrote:
“she feels guilty and the next week she isn't fun to be with - often quite angry - coming out with - why do you put me through this”

“sometimes gets real anxious”

“if I didn't push her she wouldn't play at all
she would never bring it up”

“same with our sex life she can live without it”

But apparently she owes you because “i spent a fortune getting a silicon nipple”

“the problem is the guilt and the shame” Is she not allowed ownership of her own emotions?

“my wife does have a problem with sex” – yeah, you are the problem. You then go on to how you attempt to impose sex upon her when she clearly indicates it is unwanted. No wonder she does not consider you worthy of affection. You basically write that if she displays the slightest of affection you will immediately attempt to push the boundaries for your grand me me me plan.

Bringing your children into this discussion is pitiful, you recruit them into your arguments against their own mother – FFS! I would so love to see their response to this thread.

“if i go to hug her she invariably pushes me away in a temper” – well no surprise there at all.

“she wont go to see a counsillor but they will only point the finger at me” – well no surprise there at all – again

“she says she could spend the rest of her life without having sex ever again” – well no surprise there at all – yet again

“when we met she was very romantic…” then she got to know the real you

“tbh i dont care” well you certainly have no care for the emotions of your wife.

Sorry but you are not in a loving relationship, you are simply a controlling creep. Then you come up with all this nonsense on how it is her fault.

I have no issue of a swinging lifestyle or whatever you may do if it is genuinely of mutual consent and desire – “both on the same page”. I have been in the environment of swingers and I certainly have witnessed your type who are so self-absorbed they fail to blink an eye of acknowledgement or care toward the misery of their partner.

You are not listening to your partner – if she states she could go for the rest of her life without sex (probably meaning with you) she is not participating in a swinging life style for her own desires.

The couples who I have observed to be mutually happy and content in open relationships or swinging lifestyles are the ones who respect, listen and are totally honest with each other. They are foremost each other’s best friend and display loving open affection toward each other in public.

Your words display a total disaster and freak show cruelty on your behalf.

If I have interpreted your words in a way that upsets your grand me me me plan – ask your wife to participate in this thread. Show us the honesty and respect you have within your relationship. Let both of you indicate you are on the same page.