How to spot a non Dominant

[MissTaken]

The crux of the matter

is pretense.

Any relationship that is built on pretense is likely to have a far less chance at success than one built on truth.

You may refer to the Dom any way you wish, but the bottom line is that he sets himself and the sub up for hard times ahead when he enters into the relationship based on falsehood.

The reason for this thread was to give novice subs something to reflect on as they enter the world of on line or real life searches.

 

[Lancecastor]

Pretense indeed. This thread is highly pretentious.

Unless the ULC is branding Certified Doms, the parameters and suggested boundaries here are based on your experience, reading and that that of the others who have posted to this one thread.

Next?

How to Spot A Non Man
How to Spot A Non Woman
How to Spot a Non Homo
How to Spot a Non Player

What a steaming load of shit!

I find there's a lot of fake caste systemizationing in BDSM.

And I don't like it.

A good Dom is the Dom a particular Sub enjoys being with and feels fulfilled by/with.

It's almost all Opinion...in my opinion.

Lance

 

[MissTaken]

Pretense indeed. This thread is highly pretentious.

Unless the ULC is branding Certified Doms, the parameters and suggested boundaries here are based on your experience, reading and that that of the others who have posted to this one thread.

Next?

How to Spot A Non Man
How to Spot A Non Woman
How to Spot a Non Homo
How to Spot a Non Player

What a steaming load of shit!

I find there's a lot of fake caste systemizationing in BDSM.

And I don't like it.

A good Dom is the Dom a particular Sub enjoys being with and feels fulfilled by/with.

It's almost all Opinion...in my opinion.

Lance

A) Yes. This thread germinated from my experience, some reading I did at another site, observations made by me and other members of other (gasp) boards and chat groups.

Basically, as the issue comes up across the board in my travels, it seems that there might be something to be considered or learned.

B) How to spot a Man?
How to spot a Woman?

There are many people who would really like to know that the true gender of the person on the other end of the id.

How to spot a Gay? or a Player?
Same thing. Pretense and posing takes place all over the net adn when it comes to matters wherein people may allow themselves some tiny bit of emotional involvement, these may be good topics for research of discussion.

And yes, how to identify those quirks and isms that might separate a submissive from someone pretending to be submissive just because she has been told it is very easy to get laid if she says she is into kink. You have posted concerning the veracity of discussions between subs and Doms and the impact on Doms.

(I wont' be starting those threads though. This one has been plenty!


Yep! I am not much on the caste system and probably used a poor choice of words in the thread title.

I also agree that a good Dom is the Dom that is part of that particular subs life and is a good match in all arenas.

I also agree that this thread is based primarily on opinion.
However, it isn't just the opinion of one person, but again, it is based on opinions observed over and again.

Thanks for livening it up for me, though Lance.



Pretense has disastor written all over it.
Isnt' better to be able to spot a pretender before you move into something that has emotional strings attached to it?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Don't Understand

Well I just don't understand.
Am I the only one here who establishes a relationship /before/ getting into the BDSM? Am I the only one who's not being contantly propositioned by subs willing to take a chance with a Dom they don't know from Jack the Ripper? Are you people really so casual about choosing your partners that you don't know anything about your Dom before you put your physical and mental trust into his hands?

How many sessions does it take you before you realize that your Dom is a fake?

I know what MissTaken is talking about when you're cruising and checking out casual dates, but if that turns into any kind of relationship, then you're going to know what he is, aren't you? What's the problem here?

---dr.M.

 

[MissTaken]

Hmm

well, DR. M.

those are the points that I , as well as the other posters are trying to make, here.

It is important to know who it is you are with before engaging in BDSM or any sort of emotional involvment.

There are far too many subs who take everything at face value, and Doms as well, for that matter.

ONly to find themselves sorely disappointed or worse , in the long run.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Don't Understand

Well I just don't understand.
Am I the only one here who establishes a relationship /before/ getting into the BDSM? Am I the only one who's not being contantly propositioned by subs willing to take a chance with a Dom they don't know from Jack the Ripper? Are you people really so casual about choosing your partners that you don't know anything about your Dom before you put your physical and mental trust into his hands?

How many sessions does it take you before you realize that your Dom is a fake?

I know what MissTaken is talking about when you're cruising and checking out casual dates, but if that turns into any kind of relationship, then you're going to know what he is, aren't you? What's the problem here?

---dr.M.

Have you read through the previous threads? This subject has been discussed over and over again. Maybe there are subs who are that naive, but I doubt it. I believe that many who post here may be tired of discussing the same issues over and over again.



Ebony