I am *NOT* a switch!

[Netzach]

Around dominant women I get very odd tingly feelings in my private no-no place but I can't seem to wrap my head around having my face in any girl crotch, so I don't ever do anything about it.

As if most of the girls ever get that lucky. *chuckle*

 

[Ebonyfire]

Netzach, i agree that fronting is lame, whatever the reason. heck, i even have a problem with roleplay. any environment of falseness just makes me feel uncomfortable, it's a pet peeve. you're probably right in that not all of these submissives were being their true selves. and if that's the case, that's rather sad. however what i find more upsetting is this trend (which is not recent btw, i suppose i've just had my fill of it) of cutting down submissives who are naturally shy and meek, who are not the roaring, assertive, confident independent she-wolves that every woman is apparently supposed to be these days, submissive or not. comments like "who wants to dominate a dishrag" spring to mind.

She wolves? Where did that come from? Since when did being confident and independent equate with being a she wolf?

 

[rydia57]

I asked a guy I know to tell me which I was and he said I was a switch too. I had never heard that until he said it. I can't even see it... well this bears further investigation. Neat learning about it tho...

 

[satindesire]

I think she meant the kind of confident, independent she-wolf who also won't let men open car doors for them, pay for lunch or balk when they say "Ma'am". Sometimes women -can- take the whole "I-Don't-NEED-A-Man!" waaaay too far.

I'm supposing that was her thought when she said that.

 

[Netzach]

I think she meant the kind of confident, independent she-wolf who also won't let men open car doors for them, pay for lunch or balk when they say "Ma'am". Sometimes women -can- take the whole "I-Don't-NEED-A-Man!" waaaay too far.

I'm supposing that was her thought when she said that.

Then there are some women for whom what men want to do for them is totally irrelevant. I can't possibly think of my butch friend, R, as a "she wolf" of any sort, but I am certain the above bugs the crap out of her.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I think she meant the kind of confident, independent she-wolf who also won't let men open car doors for them, pay for lunch or balk when they say "Ma'am". Sometimes women -can- take the whole "I-Don't-NEED-A-Man!" waaaay too far.

I'm supposing that was her thought when she said that.

yes satindesire, that is the along the lines of what i meant although the above examples would apply more in the vanilla world. i'm not hating on the strong, independent submissives, truly. what irritates me is that this particular brand of submission is being touted as the only acceptable way and submissives who are dependent, who are "weak" in some ways, who aren't ball-busters and fighters in the world outside of their Dominants, are viewed as absolutely unacceptable and not what the lifestyle should be about. how many times have we all seen or heard how no good or true Dominant would want a "doormat" for a submissive?

 

[Netzach]

yes satindesire, that is the along the lines of what i meant although the above examples would apply more in the vanilla world. i'm not hating on the strong, independent submissives, truly. what irritates me is that this particular brand of submission is being touted as the only acceptable way and submissives who are dependent, who are "weak" in some ways, who aren't ball-busters and fighters in the world outside of their Dominants, are viewed as absolutely unacceptable and not what the lifestyle should be about. how many times have we all seen or heard how no good or true Dominant would want a "doormat" for a submissive?

I actually think you have a totally valid point. I think that submissivness and obedience are completely devalued in the larger world as personality traits in a way that they aren't in other cultures. (This is irrespective of gender, this is about placing other people or a collective good on similar ground or higher than your own)

We are way more about attention getting than we are about service to other people. This spills over into the SM community because it's part of this culture. In which choosing to follow is assumed to be a choice not to think.

 

[graceanne]

yes satindesire, that is the along the lines of what i meant although the above examples would apply more in the vanilla world. i'm not hating on the strong, independent submissives, truly. what irritates me is that this particular brand of submission is being touted as the only acceptable way and submissives who are dependent, who are "weak" in some ways, who aren't ball-busters and fighters in the world outside of their Dominants, are viewed as absolutely unacceptable and not what the lifestyle should be about. how many times have we all seen or heard how no good or true Dominant would want a "doormat" for a submissive?

I've heard that - I think it' sjust another form of the same old 'my kinky is better than your kink' argument.

 

[FurryFury]

I asked a guy I know to tell me which I was and he said I was a switch too. I had never heard that until he said it. I can't even see it... well this bears further investigation. Neat learning about it tho...

Just cause someone else sees you that way doesn't mean it's true or that you feel that you are deep down in your soul. Of course if you want to investigate that, it's cool to do so, I'm just sayin'.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For me, I think when people refer to 'dorrmats' as a role type of submissives, they not so much mean it is about being shy, quiet, respectful...sheesh, in my everyday life these have been qualities attributed to me since childhood...I do believe though that there are some who have or affect they have those same qualities in a way which comes across as hopeless. helpless, and basically not having a thought in their head unless told what it is. There is a difference between not having a thought and basically coming across as grovelling in someone who presents as submissive in way where they are quiet and respectful without giving the impression they are ready to run at the slightest look or grovel at the feet of anyone and everyone they see as appreciative or Dominant. I am shy, quiet, usually prefer to be in the background even in family settings, prefer to pretend I am invisible, but I do not apologise to everyone (that then makes me the focus of their attention and I hate that), appear helpless or unable to function alone..it just isn't me, and for some it just isn't them to be otherwise. We all differ, and we do not appeal to all people...that is a reality some cannot deal with and so seek to please everyone and take offence when it is not possible or appreciated by some.

Catalina