I have a major, serious, dire problem...

[NoJo]

I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff,
I'm a mean muthafuka, I don't take no guff,
My mother don't know I'm a big powder puff,
If you mess up my hairdo I'll leave in a huff.

 

[NorthwestRain]

I gots a gut full o' whiskey, anna mouth fulla muff,
I bin suckin' down trough lollies, n' Malboros n' such,
It's a night like no other, and ahm damned happy brother,
I got a gut full o' whiskey, and a mouth full o' muff!

All tog'ther now....

 

[MathGirl]

Gut fulla......

I come home last night, an' ma nerves went raw,
Ma wife was the middle of a menage a trois,
I sez, "Kin I join?" She sez, "Sho 'nuff,"
With her gut fulla whiskey an' her mouf' fulla muff.

Sometimes I thank she jist ain't gotta brain,
I come home an' ma wife was apullin' a train,
I gotta go find me some new female stuff,
With a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

They's times when life's a real ordeal,
But ah always gits home fer a nice hot meal,
What ah thank about when the road gits rough,
Is a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Now, late at night when the beer's all foam,
I raise up ma haid an' stagger on home,
What I need, when I'm feelin' that tough,
Is a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Yeeee Hawwwww........

 

[MathGirl]

Good grief

Good Grief! What have I started? I'm sitting here trying to write my doctoral dissertation, and half my mind is ...........

I'ma country boy and I ain't very smart,
But I know howta whistle an' I shore can fart,
Won't never be rich, but I got enough,
Got a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Maybe we should just all go to bed. We'll feel better in the morning.

I drink moonshine 'till my nose turns red,
Then I grab my woman an' haul her ta bed,
I know in the mornin' I'ma gonna feel rough,
Gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Oh, God, I've got to stop this!

 

[Dirt Man]

Damn Krackers never know'd how to eat pussy anyway...

No comment. LOL

 

[kiwiwolf]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!


*sobbing quietly into my mouth full of muff...*


Tittttttle.....

 

[NorthwestRain]

See, you asked for an attention grabbing title didn't you!
There ya have it Kiwi old mate! And a song to go with it, that's a fucking bonus!
(Please forward 10%of all royalties to the NorthwestRain fund, Australia. Okay, okay, you better see Mathsgirl and Sub Joe for a few percent also eh. Tis only fair.)
I'm goin' for a 'nother whiskey.

 

[MathGirl]

GFWAMFM

Sometimes at the bar I get inta fights,
Offen with guys wearin' crotchless tights,
I don't go fer that homo stuff,
Gimme a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Don't know what's wrong with my gol'durned woman,
Walks inta the room like a tornado acomin',
I sez "up yours" an' walks off in a huff,
I wanta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Well, I don't know much about computers,
But I shore like gals with great big hooters,
I also like ta smoke an' chew snuff,
Anna gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

 

[sirhugs]

I love the poetry, but back to the title...

" The MezzoSopranos"

"Divorce, Mafia Style"

"Love, Death and Everything"

as you can tell, titles trouble me as well.

 

[Guest]

being from chicago...

Kiwi-

Depending on the POV of the story (3rd or 1st) how about An Offer John Should Have Refused or An Offer I Should Have Refused?

Unless the student makes it through okay... then go with the more traditional An Offer John Couldn't Refuse or An Offer I Couldn't Refuse.

b

 

[Octavian]

another suggestion.

How about

'I went on a course to study English literature, already being more than cognisant in the English language, and this evil little mafia fucker’s tryin’ to kill me!'

This has an added benefit in that the story won’t seem so long, once one has read the title.

Octavian

 

[jfinn]

When I'm stuck on a title I'll take a trip through google looking for quotes. Sometimes that helps.

Jayne

 

[Octavian]

or!!!!

'The lit man, the tit man and the hit man.'

Or 'The lit man and the hit man'

Octavian

In slightly more serious mode

 

[MathGirl]

Re: or!!!!

'The lit man, the tit man and the hit man.'

Oh, that's a good one. Well done, O.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: or!!!!

Oh, that's a good one. Well done, O.

I agree, diane, but where did the third guy cum/come in?

b

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: or!!!!

I agree, diane, but where did the third guy cum/come in?

b

Hi, BKeeney,

Aww, who cares? It's still a good title.

Diane

 

[Octavian]

The third man?

Now that would be a good title!

But why should there be three men? The Lit man could also be a tit man!

Octavian

 

[sirhugs]

Re: Re: Re: or!!!!

I agree, diane, but where did the third guy cum/come in?

b

are you looking for volunteers?

 

[MathGirl]

Titles

Is a title all that important? I wrote a story about some goings on, and much of it took place in a whorehouse. After it was finished, I couldn't think of a title. I ended up calling it "Frieda the Cat" after the bordello's calico who was only mentioned once in the story. Seemed to work.

Maybe we're going about this backwards. Why not come up with a really great title, jack it up, and build a story under it?

 

[Dirt Man]

How about??

The Good, the Bad, the Well Versed

The English Teacher

I Loved the Mob's Wife

The Mob, the Teacher, and Me

My Teacher, My Lover, the Mob Boss's Ex

 

[sirhugs]

Re: Titles

Is a title all that important? I wrote a story about some goings on, and much of it took place in a whorehouse. After it was finished, I couldn't think of a title. I ended up calling it "Frieda the Cat" after the bordello's calico who was only mentioned once in the story. Seemed to work.

Maybe we're going about this backwards. Why not come up with a really great title, jack it up, and build a story under it?

some writers do write to fill below a great title.

For the rest of us, if we want readership, titles matter at Lit. A reader has 4 pieces of info when looking for a story: category; authour name; title and description. we each have a few ( very few?) loyal reades how wil view whatever we write. some readers will read anything in their fave category. The rest need their attention grabbed. " Freida the Cat" might have worked just on novelty. It beats the h#ll out of " Daddy's Delight" or " Birthday Surprise" or " My wife and the Football Team".

 

[batchman]

Just a few suggestions:

The Unwise Guy
The Mob Syllabus
The Bullet List
An Extracurricular Affair
Meeting The Family
The Family Wife
The Don's Lesson Plan

 

[jon.hayworth]

Adult Student and Tutor - Heard of the British Film starring Julie Walters and Michael Caine "Educating Rita".

Why not "Educating (insert name of your student)"

Ever ready to help a colonial with a frozen brain

jon

 

[NorthwestRain]

Kiwi, where the fuck for art thoust?

 

[MathGirl]

Kiwi, where the fuck for art thoust?

Maybe he's busy with a gut fulla whiskey and a mouth fulla you-know-what