I Trust My Magic 8-Ball!

[monster666]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Ya know....

He's been flashing between the soft porn channel and the PC guru shows on cable. He heard the terms "disk space" and "bandwidth" and just before switching back to the soft porn channel, SLG called to check on him at the same instant and his brain got all discombobulated. That's part of the reason he's at the farm to begin with.

Well,...I know whatcha mean THERE,...thanks for the warning,...but what REALLY scares me is that dick space and handwidth he has been referring to.

 

[monster666]

So you let the cat out of the bag? Well good; I wasn't in the mood for sweet and sour chicken anyways. Too much Hunan Wok type stuff gives me big trouble.

Thanks for the warm welcome back, Sierra!

monster, i'm SOOOOO glad that you decided to come back here, and give it another try.. you have been SO missed here (especially by me)!!!
by the way, i already let the proverbial cat out of the bag, and told everyone that i had a crush on you, and Blue.. so, no need to keep it secret anymore. hehe
if you need anything, i mean ANYTHING, you let me know, ok??
luv ya!!!
r.

 

[SierraMoon]

oohhhh monster, it does my heart so much good to see you here..
what a lucky lady i am to have crushes on 2 of the kindest, most gentle (not to mention hilarious) men in this forum!! you are awesome!!

 

[monster666]

Oh stop, you silly goose, lest the good doctor mistakes you for a turkey. He's a bit overzealous with that impact wrench. Besides, I'm getting all drippy and gooey. Girls... sheese.

oohhhh monster, it does my heart so much good to see you here..
what a lucky lady i am to have crushes on 2 of the kindest, most gentle (not to mention hilarious) men in this forum!! you are awesome!!

 

[DRxBlue]

i'm not on a WILD SILLY GOOSE Chase!

i'm not after them wild TURKEYS either.

i'm LOOKING for a 1.75 liter bottle of Wild Turkey WHISKEY i left out here someplace. Man, i worked up quite a thirst escaping from that Monster body with the Risia brain. And was that a MONSTER STIFFY!! Risia looked a little confused...

Yeah like she's never handled and erection before! Well... maybe not from that angle.

Wait a minnut! i left Risia in the Monster body with an erection, in the room with Monster in the Risia body...NAKED!

Oh my GOD! We have to get BACK there! Before something HAPPENS! Hurry! You run get the camera... the Arriflex...and a Sony video8 too...and some lights, film stock.

You! Get some sound equipment quick...the Sunnheiser mikes and a 12 foot boom.

Oh WOW!...i hope nothing terrible happens, until the cameras get there.

Blue

 

[WillowPuss]

It does my heart good to have the three of you posting together again!

Monster ... welcome back. PLEASE stay and play. (((hugs)))



{I just thank my lucky stars that Master doesn't actually post here - he has the samew ry sense of humour as you guys - and seeing the time differences in play - he would never get to bed!)

 

[CarolineOh]

It does my heart good to have the three of you posting together again!

Monster ... welcome back. PLEASE stay and play. (((hugs)))



{I just thank my lucky stars that Master doesn't actually post here - he has the samew ry sense of humour as you guys - and seeing the time differences in play - he would never get to bed!)

I hate to argue with you, sweetie,but I dispute the notion that you couldn't tempt him into bed.

 

[cellis]

Geez... I am tired last night and do come to lit and I miss all the fun!!!!!!

Welcome back Monster... you have truely been missed!

 

[cymbidia]

I'm getting all drippy and gooey.

monster's getting all drippy and gooey? Is there anyone here besides me who thinks that sounds, well, kinda exciting? Can we, ummm, uh, have a pic?




Welcome home, darlin'.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Welcome back, Monster.

With you and T both posting again, perhaps I will *finally* get to see what happens when I get my hands on three men.

It's like a They Might be Giants song: three men, three switches, four bodies, one brain-switching device. I just hope somebody brought the lube.

 

[SpectreT]

Lube?

Damnit, I knew I was on my way to do somthing when this hubcap whalloped me in the back of the head!

 

[monster666]

Thank you WillowPuss and cellis.

Cym, I haven't mastered the art of photographing a metaphor. As soon as I do, I'll proudly send ya a copy.

Risia, oh you are in so much trouble now! Not just 3, but the 3 of us - and who knows who else. But I hardly think you'll need any more lube than Dr. Blue's St. Bernard drool.

 

[DRxBlue]

i'm not DROOLING!!!

i was doing some experiments in conditioned reflexes and accidently "wired my brain" to salivate at the sound of a bell.

Classic Pavlov, y'know?

Then yesterday one of the BOOBS bumped into me... (well that's what i hire the BOOBS for anyway... c'mon bump into me again)

Anyway, it was when i was adding the nitro to the glycerine... NEEDLESS to say there was a HUGE explosion, and i still have this ringing in my ears... which my brain keeps interpreting as the sound of a bell.

So i'm NOT DROOLING...i'm just salivating-- kind of a lot, but as soon as things calm down i'll take a nap and rewire me brain a bit.
Yeah...that's what i said last week. When things calm down.

i never get to sleep.

Igor!...PUT THAT DOWN!!

Blue

 

[lilfrk]

Re: i'm not DROOLING!!!

Igor!...PUT THAT DOWN!!

geez...sorry. I won't touch it again.

you need a nap Sir...you're cranky and drooling.

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: Re: i'm not DROOLING!!!

geez...sorry. I won't touch it again.

you need a nap Sir...you're cranky and drooling.

psssssssst .... lilfrk - he says its not drool, he is just salivating .... I know, I know, not a whole lot of difference from where we stand, but hey! maybe its a man thing?

 

[lilfrk]

Re: Re: Re: i'm not DROOLING!!!

psssssssst .... lilfrk - he says its not drool, he is just salivating .... I know, I know, not a whole lot of difference from where we stand, but hey! maybe its a man thing?

psssst ...WillowPuss...I think you're right. It's a man thing. Look at that monster dude...he's all gooey. That just aint right. MEN!

 

[SierraMoon]

<pout> Risia always gets the good men... how do you do it??

 

[DRxBlue]

And NOW!!!

Thanks to my amazing "BRRRRRRAIN Exchangulator" she can even BE all of the good men!

i once told her, "i want your body."

She started telling me about her husband and how she wasn't into that sort of arrangement, so i had to explain.

"NO! i want it LATER! When you're DONE with it! i can wait..."

Maybe she'll like the new Monster body well enough that she'll wanna keep it. Naw...her MasterMe probably wouldn't go for it.

Still! i got dibs!

Blue

 

[monster666]

Re: Re: Re: En garde!

Just as Dr. Blue drops trou, Risia-monster grabs him by the scruff of the neck and drags him back across the lab and through the entry, and tosses him up the cement staircase and through the door leading to the parking lot.

SpectreT greets Dr. Blue (who has finally stopped drooling - er - salivating) holding a very musty smelling hubcap, even as he is still rolling on the broken asphalt from Risia-Monster's toss, saying " I have come seeking the moron who whanged me in the back of the head with a 1971 Ford Pinto hubcap. 1971 was a good year; I was born in 1971, a lot of other good things came out of 1971, too. The Pinto wasn't one of them. For good American automotive engineering and craftsmanship, give me a Dodge Dart, any day of the week. For I am a Jedi, and a Jedi cannot possibly use the force at the helm of a vehicle destined to explode."

Dr. Blue, more than a little irritated by the rapid turn of his fortune, grows even more irritated by SpecteT's diatribe, and is somewhat disgusted by the stench coming from what looks like his hubcap. Once he gets over the dizziness from his painfull roll across the parking lot, he begins to process what SpectreT was saying and crossly declares "I've been in the lab all day. No one that I know of has been outside here, except for that damn monster, who doesn't listen for shit ever since Risia arrived. And as far as Dodge Darts go, they are just OMFG ugly. And sure, with proper modification, they'll do time travel even better than a DeLorean, but I have yet to find a better distributor cap than an OEM 1971 Ford Pinto cap with which to build a wiring harness for a brain switching machine. The damn things don't fry until exactly 25,000 transfers - the best a Dart cap could hope for is about 3,000. The trouble is, the OEM ones are rare. The pinto now runs with an aftermarket replacement, and my brain-swapper was built for the Pinto distributor cap and will not work with another design. I'll have my collectable hubcap back now, please, if you don't mind."

SpectreT, still aggravated, nurses a lump on the back of his skull and hands the pissy hubcap to Dr. Blue, inaudibly muttering "Fucking forceless piece of shit Pintos anyways. Dart's way better."

Yet even as Dr. Blue speaks, Sierramoon is watching him through the bushes. She is feeling a little lightheaded from sitting erect after laying down for so long looking though the basement window to see what was transpiring in Dr. Blue's lab. She is a little upset from being witness to the minor hostilities between Dr Blue and Monster, as she has fantasies of being tied and ravaged by the two of them. And, for a moment, it seemed that Risia was going to get Sierra's wish, that bitch.

Blue spots Sierra in the bushes, and calls "Sierra, please, how many times have I told you to get out of the bushes? What do you know about this hubcap?"

"It wasn't me, honest. Monster did it."

"It figures. I am gonna have to put a shock collar back on that beast until he learns to behave again. Shit. Everyone come on in, it's beginning to rain. I'll put on a pot of coffee and we'll get Monster back in his cage."

SpectreT is calmer by now and agrees, and Sierra is bristling with the thought of new possibilites.

Meanwhile, Risia, who had just ejected Dr. Blue from his lab, finds that she is still hornier than a three-balled moose. She see her own form laying on the table, thinking that this would be little more than a helluva twist on masturbation; after all it would be kind of like sex with herself.

Monster sees a gleam in Monster's eyes, not too dissimilar to the one he'd just seen in Dr. Blue, and can't look anymore. He returns to staring at his boobies.

Hearing a commotion outside, Risia knows time is limited before the lab would be invaded with people from outside and she has to hurry to get everything done. She quickly puts the brain transfer helmets on herself and on Monster. Instead of just flipping the switch, she sets the timer for 15 seconds, releases Monster from his bindings and mounts him, and begins penetration before just before the transfer starts, which was easy since Monster was anotomically more than ready from his incessant gaze upon his breasts, which was exciting him greatly. Risia was expecting to begin this tryst as a Monster and end it as herself, but was ill-prepared for the next turn of events.

Extremely aroused and completely unaccostomed to the sensation of having an erect penis in a very wet woman (and once again much like a horny moose) Risia thrusts twice quickly and it is over. Then the transfer starts and completes as both Risia and Monster try to figure out exactly happened.

Risia no sooner manages to cover herself when Dr. Blue re-enters with SpectreT and Sierra, somewhat worse for the wear from his encounter with the Risia-monster, but still oblivious to the fact that a brain transfer had ever taken place. Transfer number 24,999 - and it wasn't logged.

SpectreT wastes no time proclaiming "I have come seeking the moron who whanged me in the back of the head with a 1971 Ford Pinto hubcap. 1971 was a good year; I was born in 1971, a lot of other good things came out of 1971, too. The Pinto wasn't one of them. For good American automotive engineering and craftsmanship, give me a Dodge Dart, any day of the week. For I am a Jedi, and a Jedi cannot possibly use the force at the helm of a vehicle destined to explode."

Dr. Blue rolls his eyes as Sierra's eyes widen with newfound anticipation, Monster is oblivious to everything as he is in some inexplicable catatonic state, Risia is nursing a wicked Migrane and hoping it was better for Monster, just as Dr. Blue screams "lilfrk, I told you to put that down!"

lilfrk defiantly answers "Call me Igor! CALL ME IGOR!!"

"Okay, Igor!...PUT THAT DOWN!!"

"Geez...sorry. I won't touch it again. You need a nap Sir...you're cranky and drooling." she replies, noticing the drool all over his shirt. lilfrk puts down the atomic fucking machine and Dr. Blue asks her to put on a pot of coffee. lilfrk just flips him the bird.

All of a sudden, Risia decides that her headache (which is beginning to subside since she has far less interest in her boobs than Monster) is the least of her worries. She itches - no burns - all over as hundreds of little red blotches appear.

Within Risia a genetic wonder is occuring. Monster sperm finds it's way into her bloodstream and to her upper dermis, just below the Basal layer of her epidermis. How was she to know that a Monster reproduces like a wet Gremlin (the movie variety, not the automotive variety).

For the next four minutes Risia screams loudly, seeming to not even take a breath, such a loud, hair-raising, ear-piercing Monster scream that all anyone can do is crouch and hold their hands over their ears. Somewhere in the 5th minute, each red blotch erupts with an extremely thin 6'2" coiled up Monster. As the humid air hydrates them they begin to take form. This process lasts about 20 seconds, and as they will learn later after a count is taken, Risia has given birth to exactly 666 skinny little 6' monsters.

Dr. Blue understands what is happening and immediately tries to activate a dehumidifier, but Sierra grabs the hubcap he sets down on his cold-fusion powered bagel toaster in order to activate the dehumidifier, and she konks him on the head with it, and the doctor goes down with a thud as the little monsters begin to take some recognizable form.

SpectreT wastes no time introducing himself to the little monsters proclaiming "I have come seeking the moron who whanged me in the back of the head with a 1971 Ford Pinto hubcap. 1971 was a good year; I was born in 1971, a lot of other good things came out of 1971, too. The Pinto wasn't one of them. For good American automotive engineering and craftsmanship, give me a Dodge Dart, any day of the week. For I am a Jedi, and a Jedi cannot possibly use the force at the helm of a vehicle destined to explode."

Of course, having no language skills whatsoever yet, they just stare at him blankly, as if to say "Where did you say this Pinto was? Bring it on, we're hungry."

“RisiaSkye…!”

Still unable to make the connection between his headache and his constant gaze at his newfound boobs, Monster's eyes retreat steeply back down to his cleavage even as Dr. Blue, salivating like an extremely well hydrated St. Bernard, approaches.

Meanwhile, Risia's escape progresses as far as the parking lot when she realizes she has a Monster-sized full bladder. She recognizes Dr. Blue’s pink 1971 Ford Pinto (the original exploding model) right up front in the handicapped parking, and decides that since she can now pee standing up, it would be a gas to pee in his window. However, as she fondles her new monster dick, she quickly becomes erect and unable to urinate anywhere near where she is aiming, and fortunately for Dr. Blue, only manages to spray a bit on the door before blasting a few layers of bird poo off a fender and then the windshield. The bad news is that one of the irreplacable special order limited edition Pinto hubcaps is blasted off and sent to the next zip code along with some of the errant spray. With an empty bladder, it dawns on her that she is now very aroused and fully erect, and much more powerful than Dr. Blue, so why is she running? She has plans for Dr. Blue!

Risia arrives back to the lab just as Dr. Blue’s plucks off the g-string the beautiful amazon form before him had been wearing, having already exposed those ample breasts. Monster’s head is ready to explode from the contortions he has imposed on his neck during Dr. Blue’s deliberate, slow process. Dr. Blue has long since removed the ball gag to be sure Risia would not protest, but Monster was so dumbfounded - no - boobdumb, that he neglected to utter anything intelligible. Risia is now furious, and she quickly forgets the plans she had only moments before for Dr. Blue.

 

[WillowPuss]

Ok - so now I am confused ...

I know I am a woman and all that and not really expected to undersstand all this car stuff ... but I thought GoodYear made tyres.
Do they make hubcaps too?

 

[monster666]

Evidently, SpectreTs, too.

Ok - so now I am confused ...

I know I am a woman and all that and not really expected to undersstand all this car stuff ... but I thought GoodYear made tyres.
Do they make hubcaps too?

 

[SpectreT]

<bzzrrrbbtbeebzzt>.....

Damn holorecorder was stuck in playback mode.

Contrary to popular belief, my name is not Indigo Montoya.

What I was trying to say, is that while the Dart is one of the uglier automobiles, it's nowhere near as ugly as that automotive embarrassment called the Pontiac Aztec, or just about anything put out by Buick since the beginning of time. Of course it's not an AMC Matador, but it'll do...

And Doc, all you need to do is make a couple of minor changes in this thingy here.... <pointing at a portion of the schematic> and you won't need an OEM anymore. You can get 25K easy out of any old replacement distributor. Now about this self-experimentation........ It is slightly unhealthy.

I sense..... Something I've not felt in a long time.

(Doc Blue helpfully points out that it's a human female, going by the name of Risia that he's feeling, and she could conceivably be upset at the liberties he's taking with her....)

 

[monster666]

Re: i'm not on a WILD SILLY GOOSE Chase!

Well, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Come to think of it, it could be a duck.

Your foul fowl intentions are clear enough, whether your saddism-dujour is duck, goose or turkey. The bloody feathers on the inside of the ratchet head give you dead away.

The nearly empty 1.75 liter bottle of Wild Turkey still in your other hand may well contribute a large part to your inspiration. It's a bit like looking all over for your glasses while they are sitting atop your forehead.

i'm not after them wild TURKEYS either.

i'm LOOKING for a 1.75 liter bottle of Wild Turkey WHISKEY i left out here someplace. Man, i worked up quite a thirst escaping from that Monster body with the Risia brain. And was that a MONSTER STIFFY!! Risia looked a little confused...

Yeah like she's never handled and erection before! Well... maybe not from that angle.

Wait a minnut! i left Risia in the Monster body with an erection, in the room with Monster in the Risia body...NAKED!

Oh my GOD! We have to get BACK there! Before something HAPPENS! Hurry! You run get the camera... the Arriflex...and a Sony video8 too...and some lights, film stock.

You! Get some sound equipment quick...the Sunnheiser mikes and a 12 foot boom.

Oh WOW!...i hope nothing terrible happens, until the cameras get there.

Blue

 

[RisiaSkye]

<pout> Risia always gets the good men... how do you do it??

I let them beat me at chess. It tricks them into letting their guard down.

 

[WillowPuss]

I let them beat me at chess. It tricks them into letting their guard down.

Allowing them to skunk you occasionally also works
as does losing by a gammon.

(The trick is ... not looking as if you are playing to lose!)