If I were a "sub"

[~Dream~]

With Atrful's permission,

I totally agree with you killer,,and i'd like to publicly apologize to cym..i am VERY serious about this lifestyle tho and yes there ARE times when my Master pisses me the fuck off like today not letting me know he was leaving and left me there to talk to myself..i felt that was really rude..i am not ga ga and all over him as ii said i have had 4 marriages and i do know how relationships work and dont work..as far as embarrassing me?/ you are most welcome to try wont hurt or harm me any ..if that indeed is your goal..i'll just sit back and laugh lol i was hoping to get some intelligent feedback from this forum because i am a warm open honest person and a loyal friend but i have apologized and now either cym can accept it or not.***** will STILL go on..

 

[cymbidia]

I am very protective of the BDSM forum.
I honestly am light in the diplomacy arena, a thing i'd agree to even if there wasn't a clear-cut case of it right here in front of us all.

I've watched a couple really good BDSM places fall apart under the...well...i won't go there. I've made that point abundantly clear already, i think.

Thank you for acting sanely in this matter, Muff.

Dream, you post whatever you want - just think about including stuff beyond the surface subject of how wonderful and perfect your Master is, okay? It's hard to take you seriously and not get exasperated when you just say the same thing over and over and over.

I know! Try a post that doesn't have the word "Master" in it at all. Just something about *you* as a submissive, about your headspace, about something you wonder, about a direction you're growing in your own baseline understanding of your own individual nature with regard to BDSM sexuality. Remember - no using the word "Master"...

 

[KillerMuffin]

Thank you for acting sanely in this matter, Muff.

I've pretty much used up my sanity quota for the year.


You're a very special person, cym.
Thank you for listening, dream.

 

[willfulbrat]

.

 

[artful]

Damn,...I have to congratulate you ALL!

I tried and tried(unsuccessfully)to find a post to *QUOTE*,(put at top to respond to),but all of your posts are so *FROM THE HEART*, and therefore meaningful,...I was unable to choose JUST one. I sincerely hope ALL the readers of THIS post, read the entire thread before they get to this one,...for it is IMPERATIVE they understand the issues involved. NO,...I am not perfect,...I know of NONE that are! Yes,...dream has EXPRESSED her adoration of me, her desire to please me, over and over again. Does that make her posts invalid, or wrong? Is there anything in her posts that contributes to understanding the many different and unique lifestyles that ensconced in BDSM? If one looks at the totality of the posts on this thread, they will see where there are MANY opportunities to learn more of WHO we are, where we have been, where we are headed, AND where we would ASPIRE to be. Yes,...dream is infatuated with her DREAM, she desires for me to fulfill it, ...and yes,...I will do my best,(just that kinda guy), some Masters do not care,(that doesn't make them WRONG)some subs wish to have a sadistic uncaring Master,(that doesn't make them WRONG)it is their NEED. To infer that sappy romanticism is WRONG would justify "nilla's repetitive statements that BDSM is WRONG, and we ALL know that is untrue. I have stated plainly in other posts how I feel about this subject,...and as all other posts on this thread,...just stating MY beliefs.
There are those of US that have a particular BENT,(kink),as to WHAT kind of relationship we wish to have with one or MORE others, as concerns our particular wants/needs in order to be happy with our vision of the future. In no way will I EVER agree to lambasting ANYONES desire to pursue their happiness at the expense of others. Some people think that ALL things need be viewed through rose colored glasses, others think through a glass darkly, still yet others a mixture of hues which are indefinable even to themselves(they don't know). I personally, love to learn about SPECIFIC interests,...it is an unsatiable desire inherent in my character, my personality. Does that make me identifiable as a student or scholar? In some minds yes, in others no, in still yet others, they are unsure and withhold their opinion. Does that mean that any one group of beliefs is RIGHT or WRONG? When it is ALL said and done,...anyones caustic remarks of anothers BELIEF is closemindedness, and will ONLY inhibit learning and growth. To say "I love you ALL!" is a truth. It is a truth to ME because I believe it to be true. Again, there are those of you who will agree, those who will disbelieve, and still yet those who are not sure. I say,...let this thread carry on successfully,in the same manner as all previous postings to it up till this point. I for one, am learning, and as others have said before, and which a very VALUED friend repeated recently. "I do not KNOW how much I do not know!"

 

[Glaive37]

I leave for a couple of hours and Cym explodes. Remind me not to take her to a state dinner. 'Excuse me, Madam, but your left nipple shows through your blouse.' No, Cym, diplomacy is obviously not your strong suit. But we love you anyway.

Now, let me go back and read these posts completely.
Hugs,
Glaive37...

 

[cymbidia]

It's this deplorable northern CA Dom/me-free zone, Glaive.
It's making me twitchy.

Now about that barbeque we're both attending this afternoon...do you suppose they'll give me sharp hot things to hold when i'm in a mood like this?

 

[Glaive37]

Giggle... ummm only if I ask real nice. Doh! You're a sub, you would need guidance with what to do with them... or maybe you wouldn't.
Hugs,
Glaive37

 

[cymbidia]

My last important Dom, Glaive, was a total needle freak, and had a serious BDSM-style peircing fetish going. (I told you about this at the last munch!) Besides working on me, he also had this big ole maso side going and did a lot of self-piercings. He wanted me to watch. Eventually he got me to help with them, too, when they were going into places on him that weren't exactly easily reachable.

Oh yeh.
I know what to do with a needle.

Doesn't mean i'm gonna, though. Being on the other side of the sharp end makes me feel insecure and shaky. I did it for him, with him, as part of my submission to him, but i don't like doing it.

Hot things, now...i don't have a clue about branding. Wanna test our combined knoweledge out, Glaive? You know, something nicely tong shaped? Little rib sauce on the side for soothing ointment purposes?





edited to remove Glaive's real name and sub in his name for here. I'm soooooooooooo sorry. I guess it's harder than i thought to think of people who we know from our everyday lives in terms of the nicks they choose for here. Oh man. How embarassing. Sorry, uh, [being very careful now] Glaive.

 

[Glaive37]

Cym,

This is great. I used to do needles all the time. It is a wonderful experience. The lady that did them on me was great about it. But it seques into the original intent of this thread. 'If you were sub...'

A needle for me is very frightening, here comes this sharp object that is designed to leave a hole in you, and as it goes in it clears out all this flesh. Well, I think we have flesh for a particular reason. My Domme at the time did not believe as I did, that it was to keep out infection and such. No, she thought it was there for her personal pleasure, and my pain was her pleasure much of the time. Crocodile tears, I know.

As much as I loved the place that the application of needles took me, I was/am still very much afraid. But to conquer that fear for those sessions is to me part of what BDSM should be. It allowed me to trust someone enough to stick as many needles in me as she desired. And I can tell you for this one lady, twenty or thirty at a time was extremely fun. I have not gotten to the best part, at least for her. Once the needles were in and corked, she would spray alcohol on them and slide them back and forth inside me.

As I look back on it, part of being sub is trusting your Domme more than you trust anyone else, and it is allowing yourself to place everything in her hands. Once this trust occurs the world of BDSM is your oyster, and sometimes that trust fluctuates, from hour to hour and day to day. I suppose it just depends on where your headspace it. (Darn I keep getting interrupted, so if this makes no sense, sorry.)

Glaive37

 

[monster666]

I KNOW you weren't asking for a <ahem> grounding rod!

People say "BDSM releationship" like that's what the whole relationship is about. For the life of me, I can't figure out why BDSM is going to make any relationship any easier. Relationships are relationships. BDSM may be a component of it. So might bike riding, canoeing or mountain climbing. In the end, they all take a lot of maintanance to continue working. That's how relationships are.

Relationships almost always tend to be really gooey in the beginning. I have no doubt that online relationships can go much farther than cyberspace, but it's gonna take a hell of a lot longer for the rubber to meet the road in such cases. I have been online for a lot longer than AOL has been in existance. I have seen scores of thriving online relationship implode once real world contact was made. I have seen very few work. So I fully understand cym's concerns about the direction a lot of this online type of stuff might take the board. It would be a shame to see this board turn into some kinkier version of dungeons and dragons, which is where it could go if left unchecked.

You are right KM when you say we all act like idiots when first we fall in love, so I agree that somehow we need to balance some sensitivity with direction. But direction is paramount, and anyone who can't understand the importance of direction probably doesn't belong in this type of BDSM forum to begin with. It's important to stay focused on the matters and questions that arise in day to day relationships impacted by BDSM issues.

Um. Anyone know how to survive a lightning strike? I'm really nervous.

 

[~Dream~]

With Artful's permission,

Trust is most definately important in ANY relationship let alone a BDSM one..I thank -you for pointing out tho that it does fluctuate with circumstances and mood tho Glaive 37 I am happy to hear that i'm not going nutz thinking that lol..i am new at this but VERY VERY serious and devoted..
Monster: I have great direction in my life, thanks for your input also ..i gotta have direction i got babes to take care of,however I stay focused on everything that matters to me AND to the ones i love...which i would not call living in a fantasy at all..only hoping everyone at one time or another can experience this very REAL love i have ..have a great day peeps!!