If you are lurking
- Thread starter MissTaken
- Start date
Madame Manga
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2002
- Posts
- 482
I post on Author's Hangout and associated forums such as the SDC, and occasionally I hit How To when someone asks a question I believe I can answer.
I read this forum daily, but I don't post for several reasons. I am not a participant in the lifestyle and don't ever expect to be; I started my serious reading on the subject only this year; and I am here to listen, not make remarks. I've learned a lot and thrown off some assumptions. The reason I came here in the first place was to try to understand an online relationship a friend of mine had with a rotten apple of a self-proclaimed Dom. I had to deal with the fallout, and I don't like to operate from a position of ignorance. Reading the posts clarified many things for me and removed some worries and fears I had about BDSM. I'm sure that's a great relief to all of you. ;-)
MM
I read this forum daily, but I don't post for several reasons. I am not a participant in the lifestyle and don't ever expect to be; I started my serious reading on the subject only this year; and I am here to listen, not make remarks. I've learned a lot and thrown off some assumptions. The reason I came here in the first place was to try to understand an online relationship a friend of mine had with a rotten apple of a self-proclaimed Dom. I had to deal with the fallout, and I don't like to operate from a position of ignorance. Reading the posts clarified many things for me and removed some worries and fears I had about BDSM. I'm sure that's a great relief to all of you. ;-)
MM
incubus_dark
Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 25, 2003
- Posts
- 291
I lurked for about three hours, while I got the feel of the board, formed preconceptions, decided if I liked it's peeps and found something interesting to post to, then I stopped lurking. But then, I was told this board was good by someone I respect, so I expected it to be good before I got here and that probably makes a difference too.
Singularity
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2002
- Posts
- 284
Mostly A Reader...
I read far more than I post (I like the term 'reader' more than the somewhat pejorative term 'lurker').
And why do I read so much more than I post? I guess it is because I am much more engaged on the writing side of Lit. It seems as if the authors and the posters are two distinct groups, with some overlap to be sure, but not much interaction.
I guess I find that a bit odd. The forum never seems to even recognize that the story side of Lit even exists.
I do find things of interest in this forum, but I fnd I rarely have the time to compose a thoughtful reply or post. Perhaps I am simply too "composition-oriented" to simply let a fast, unstructured thought pop out and get published for the world to see.
My stories take a month or more to write and edit, and author-speed is not the same as poster-speed.
Singularity
I read far more than I post (I like the term 'reader' more than the somewhat pejorative term 'lurker').
And why do I read so much more than I post? I guess it is because I am much more engaged on the writing side of Lit. It seems as if the authors and the posters are two distinct groups, with some overlap to be sure, but not much interaction.
I guess I find that a bit odd. The forum never seems to even recognize that the story side of Lit even exists.
I do find things of interest in this forum, but I fnd I rarely have the time to compose a thoughtful reply or post. Perhaps I am simply too "composition-oriented" to simply let a fast, unstructured thought pop out and get published for the world to see.
My stories take a month or more to write and edit, and author-speed is not the same as poster-speed.
Singularity
Mastersprincess
Experienced
- Joined
- May 26, 2003
- Posts
- 90
Re: Mostly A Reader...
In my case, I beg to differ. The story side has caused me much enjoyment and much disdain. In fact, I have to restrain myself from spending too much time on the stories.
Write on!!
Singularity said:
In my case, I beg to differ. The story side has caused me much enjoyment and much disdain. In fact, I have to restrain myself from spending too much time on the stories.
Write on!!
redelicious
Bedroom Bottom
- Joined
- May 21, 2002
- Posts
- 12,939
Re: Mostly A Reader...
I for one thank you for taking such care with your stories. They are very, very good.
Slightly off topic, but how ironic is it that I consider myself a lurker here, yet this is my 9000th post?
Singularity said:
I for one thank you for taking such care with your stories. They are very, very good.
Slightly off topic, but how ironic is it that I consider myself a lurker here, yet this is my 9000th post?
P. B. Walker
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2001
- Posts
- 25,127
I used to post here... but now I lurk.
Mostly because I don't see many topics I feel comfortable commenting on. Plus, I guess I don't feel very "BDSM-y" lately.
Also, I tend to rile people up, so I figure it's best for the forum for me to post as little as possible.
It's still a great forum. And if I ever had a pressing question that needed answering, I would come out of hiding and post.
Mostly because I don't see many topics I feel comfortable commenting on. Plus, I guess I don't feel very "BDSM-y" lately.
Also, I tend to rile people up, so I figure it's best for the forum for me to post as little as possible.
It's still a great forum. And if I ever had a pressing question that needed answering, I would come out of hiding and post.
Johnny Mayberry
Golden Boy
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2002
- Posts
- 6,460
Re: Re: If you are lurking
You could post on cycling, or 3-somes...we have alot to talk about on both topics, PM me if you like...
P. B. Walker said:I used to post here... but now I lurk.
Mostly because I don't see many topics I feel comfortable commenting on. Plus, I guess I don't feel very "BDSM-y" lately.
Also, I tend to rile people up, so I figure it's best for the forum for me to post as little as possible.
It's still a great forum. And if I ever had a pressing question that needed answering, I would come out of hiding and post.
You could post on cycling, or 3-somes...we have alot to talk about on both topics, PM me if you like...
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
- Posts
- 10,242
I never lurked. I joined up at the forums ages ago, but then didn't bother coming back for a year or so. At the time I joined, the BDSM forum didn't exist.
Anyway, out of the blue, I wandered in a couple of months back, spotted the BDSM forum, had a look, and just started posting.
What can I say? I'm an opionionated, loud, brash kiwi.
Anyway, out of the blue, I wandered in a couple of months back, spotted the BDSM forum, had a look, and just started posting.
What can I say? I'm an opionionated, loud, brash kiwi.
HzDomme
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2002
- Posts
- 109
I lurk. I've been lurking here since way before the Mother Thread.
In the past I sometimes posted as unregistered.
My first moniker here is somewhat unavailable to me because of a strange computer glitch which seldom lets me sign onto that name. I never even registered that name until I decided that the thread needed a push to become it's own forum. I pushed a bit in a post and in PM's and was shot down. So I was silent again for a time.
I reregistered with this moniker and have occasionally posted again but I find that what I have to say has usually already been posted.
I have a sarcastic way of saying things at times and it has gotten me some nasty PM's so I tend to just sit back and watch now.
Unlike some people here who like to cause controversy; I like a calm discussions.
I also have to say that I adore Cym for starting the original How To thread and for REALLY pushing Laurel to make this a separate forum. I am sorry to see that she was pushed away by some of those here who decided to personally attack her. Maybe she is a bit crazy now (sorry to see she went off on you Miss T, I love you) but who wouldn't be if they were targeted the way she was. She has a wealth of knowledge to share; I wish she'd taken my advice and put all of her knowledge into a book.
End of rambling.....
Time to go back to lurking....
So much to read and so little time to do so.....
Enjoy, Cyn
Edited to add: I miss the thread about P.B's ass; that was true entertainment
In the past I sometimes posted as unregistered.
My first moniker here is somewhat unavailable to me because of a strange computer glitch which seldom lets me sign onto that name. I never even registered that name until I decided that the thread needed a push to become it's own forum. I pushed a bit in a post and in PM's and was shot down. So I was silent again for a time.
I reregistered with this moniker and have occasionally posted again but I find that what I have to say has usually already been posted.
I have a sarcastic way of saying things at times and it has gotten me some nasty PM's so I tend to just sit back and watch now.
Unlike some people here who like to cause controversy; I like a calm discussions.
I also have to say that I adore Cym for starting the original How To thread and for REALLY pushing Laurel to make this a separate forum. I am sorry to see that she was pushed away by some of those here who decided to personally attack her. Maybe she is a bit crazy now (sorry to see she went off on you Miss T, I love you) but who wouldn't be if they were targeted the way she was. She has a wealth of knowledge to share; I wish she'd taken my advice and put all of her knowledge into a book.
End of rambling.....
Time to go back to lurking....
So much to read and so little time to do so.....
Enjoy, Cyn
Edited to add: I miss the thread about P.B's ass; that was true entertainment
Last edited:
SilkVelvet
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2002
- Posts
- 493
I have an efriend who like me is bisexual, and she writes stories and said she thought I would love lit, which I do
If it hadn't been for discovering BDSM stories I might not have discovered that the unidentified yearning I have always had was submission (how scary is that ??).
I had a question and received great advice and ppl here were very friendly, so unlike other boards I didn't feel scared about leaping in and asking questions questions questions !
I read more stories than I either lurk or post and when I have time to transfer stories I wrote longhand (pre PC) and edit them I intend to try and get them on the story side
If it hadn't been for discovering BDSM stories I might not have discovered that the unidentified yearning I have always had was submission (how scary is that ??).
I had a question and received great advice and ppl here were very friendly, so unlike other boards I didn't feel scared about leaping in and asking questions questions questions !
I read more stories than I either lurk or post and when I have time to transfer stories I wrote longhand (pre PC) and edit them I intend to try and get them on the story side
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
So many replies!!!
Thank you everyone.
Recapping: Bullies? Ignore them. Also, there are times when we type something and our the "tone of voice" doesn't come across as intended. When I wonder, I pm the poster and asl, "What were you trying to say?"
Not feeling BDSMish? I think it is normal to fluctuate in your "discussion" interest concerning any topic. I do.
Stories! I started a Story Discussion thread a while back, which seemed to sink. If there is interest, you can search the old thread or start a new one.
Madame M? You aren't the only one who doesn't practice BDSM and has no interest in doing so. Any interest, for any reason is always welcome and I am happy you have found some of the information you need. Hat's off to you for finding info and understanding to help your friend.
Worried about ruffling feathers? That is when the edit button or a pm saying, "Hey! I didn't mean to offend !" works. Having been on both sides of that coin, it can be tricky saying what you think on such a highly charged topic in a one dimensional atmosphere such as this.... Lit's Kink Diner!
I think of my time at lit as though I am going to the local diner for coffee in the morning. You find people there you know and like and people you dont' care for. You chose the topic and the tone and have a cup of java, hang out and discuss.
Just like that diner, the first trip in, you may sit in the corner, reading the paper and eavesdropping until you think you know who or what you want to engage in.
Thanks everyone!
Thank you everyone.
Recapping: Bullies? Ignore them. Also, there are times when we type something and our the "tone of voice" doesn't come across as intended. When I wonder, I pm the poster and asl, "What were you trying to say?"
Not feeling BDSMish? I think it is normal to fluctuate in your "discussion" interest concerning any topic. I do.
Stories! I started a Story Discussion thread a while back, which seemed to sink. If there is interest, you can search the old thread or start a new one.
Madame M? You aren't the only one who doesn't practice BDSM and has no interest in doing so. Any interest, for any reason is always welcome and I am happy you have found some of the information you need. Hat's off to you for finding info and understanding to help your friend.
Worried about ruffling feathers? That is when the edit button or a pm saying, "Hey! I didn't mean to offend !" works. Having been on both sides of that coin, it can be tricky saying what you think on such a highly charged topic in a one dimensional atmosphere such as this.... Lit's Kink Diner!
I think of my time at lit as though I am going to the local diner for coffee in the morning. You find people there you know and like and people you dont' care for. You chose the topic and the tone and have a cup of java, hang out and discuss.
Just like that diner, the first trip in, you may sit in the corner, reading the paper and eavesdropping until you think you know who or what you want to engage in.
Thanks everyone!
Dumpling
Cheeky-Canadian
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2003
- Posts
- 80,610
if you are lurking
Iam not really on here to often ,just checking out some Boards
and then Iam out again so one cant really call it lurking.
I have tried to Post a few threads (or answered) but get very litlte responce from it.
Iam either not odd enough or they think who does she think she is anyway.
I might be wrong, but thats the way I feel about it.
Iam not really on here to often ,just checking out some Boards
and then Iam out again so one cant really call it lurking.
I have tried to Post a few threads (or answered) but get very litlte responce from it.
Iam either not odd enough or they think who does she think she is anyway.
I might be wrong, but thats the way I feel about it.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
Re: Re: If you are lurking
I don't think getting people riled up is necessarily a negative thing. Is good to have opposing views discussed in a thread...think that is the beauty of this particualr board. there seems to be a good mix of views and allows for discussion and a broadening of one's view so to speak. Gets too boring if everyone agrees and then the thread seems to die out from lack of life and participation.
Catalina
P. B. Walker said:I used to post here... but now I lurk.
Mostly because I don't see many topics I feel comfortable commenting on. Plus, I guess I don't feel very "BDSM-y" lately.
Also, I tend to rile people up, so I figure it's best for the forum for me to post as little as possible.
It's still a great forum. And if I ever had a pressing question that needed answering, I would come out of hiding and post.
I don't think getting people riled up is necessarily a negative thing. Is good to have opposing views discussed in a thread...think that is the beauty of this particualr board. there seems to be a good mix of views and allows for discussion and a broadening of one's view so to speak. Gets too boring if everyone agrees and then the thread seems to die out from lack of life and participation.
Catalina
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
I lurk for a lot of reasons. Mainly, I no longer have the time to spend posting or making sure my posts make sense. Also, although I do have a lot of things to say, I don't want to get into an involved discussion because then I will be forced to read even more than I already do, and I will have to defend my ideas. No time, no time.
Caitlynne
Playful Muse
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2002
- Posts
- 1,324
Re: Re: If you are lurking
Funny thing about this, you're one of the people I used to read all the time, in this forum. We lurkers have people we read as a matter of course, even if we don't respond often.
Although I am a compete on-line stranger to you, I've missed your particular POV in this forum. I never thought you tended to rile people up...... just excite them a little!
~ Cait
P. B. Walker said:I used to post here... but now I lurk.
Mostly because I don't see many topics I feel comfortable commenting on. Plus, I guess I don't feel very "BDSM-y" lately.
Also, I tend to rile people up, so I figure it's best for the forum for me to post as little as possible.
It's still a great forum. And if I ever had a pressing question that needed answering, I would come out of hiding and post.
Funny thing about this, you're one of the people I used to read all the time, in this forum. We lurkers have people we read as a matter of course, even if we don't respond often.
Although I am a compete on-line stranger to you, I've missed your particular POV in this forum. I never thought you tended to rile people up...... just excite them a little!
~ Cait
Soron
The Evil One
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,040
Hiya, Miss T
As anybody who knows me can tell you, I'm not shy about posting. After all the tomfoolery on this board last summer I chose to go elsewhere with my thoughts. Thinking back on it now, I should have stayed and weathered the storm. But, I was going through a lot of personal turmoil and frankly, I didn't need all the bullshit.
But, the last few weeks I've read some here and thought it was time I got my feet wet again. With my experience I have plenty to offer. So, I read and if I have the time and something to contribute, I do.
As anybody who knows me can tell you, I'm not shy about posting. After all the tomfoolery on this board last summer I chose to go elsewhere with my thoughts. Thinking back on it now, I should have stayed and weathered the storm. But, I was going through a lot of personal turmoil and frankly, I didn't need all the bullshit.
But, the last few weeks I've read some here and thought it was time I got my feet wet again. With my experience I have plenty to offer. So, I read and if I have the time and something to contribute, I do.
Vulpesvulpes
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2002
- Posts
- 149
I'm mostly a lurker nowadays, when I'm here at all. I used to post once in a while but I seemed to have a talent for killing threads. It must be my uncanny knack for stating the obvious.
I only drop by occaisionally now and really haven't found anything I want to comment on. There also seems to be a negative vibe around here so I have stayed away.
-Vv
I only drop by occaisionally now and really haven't found anything I want to comment on. There also seems to be a negative vibe around here so I have stayed away.
-Vv
Arden
Un amor, Una verdad
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2002
- Posts
- 26,574
Glad to see you back, Soron
I lurk mostly, since I don't have nearly as much BDSM related experience as many do here. If there is something I feel comfortable with posting to, I will.
I will say that if you're not a regular here, your posts are often passed over by others. I see it all the time. Hanging out in the Fireside Lounge forever makes little sense. I'd like to see people reach out more to newcomers. We're here to learn, and feeling welcome makes a big difference.
I lurk mostly, since I don't have nearly as much BDSM related experience as many do here. If there is something I feel comfortable with posting to, I will.
I will say that if you're not a regular here, your posts are often passed over by others. I see it all the time. Hanging out in the Fireside Lounge forever makes little sense. I'd like to see people reach out more to newcomers. We're here to learn, and feeling welcome makes a big difference.
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
I lurk when I get bored. If the subject is a retread of something I have responded to in the past, I do not bother to repeat myself. If the person wants to know my opinion, they can use the search function.
I lurk more in the summer, cause I am sans teenager, and do most of my training and interviewing of new subs then. Also, I travel a lot in the summer, and I am not at the computer as much.
I lurk more in the summer, cause I am sans teenager, and do most of my training and interviewing of new subs then. Also, I travel a lot in the summer, and I am not at the computer as much.
AnonymousSlave
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2002
- Posts
- 128
i lurk.
i read. i post. i disappear for a while and come back.
i'm not uncomfortable here. Nope, y'all don't freak me out; variety is indeed the spice to life. (How boring this world would be if we were all the same!) Some of you are into pain more than i am; some of you are in online relationships; etc... sometimes i read threads and my first thought is ... 'are you out of your ever lovin' mind?'
i post when i have something to say or when i wish to contribute to the conversation.
i have no problem when others' opinions differ from mine. Afterall, conversation is part of the learning process. i don't claim to have all the answers... lol... i don't claim to have any answers; only my own opinions, thoughts and experiences.
i come here to listen, to learn and to offer my point of view for others who choose to listen.
