I'm in the mood for a limerick...

[biggbear8]

Re: Re: oh sweet jesus...

There once were some limericks on Lit,
that made certain people think, "Shit,
it's not that they're bad,
but I'd really be glad,
to find me some limericks that fit!"


<g>

Remac looking for limericks on lit
but found it was pussy giving him a fit
screaming Oh Shit when he plunged deep
on his cock cum did seep
as he rubbed her tiny clit

 

[foehn]

thank you

Thank you, Remec, BlackShanglan...

*relaxed sigh*

 

[Guest]

Re: oh sweet jesus...

can anybody here get the meter right?

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html
(This has been posted many times, but this is how a limerick is supposed to be. I do believe in sticking to the counts when doing so. Hope this helps, y'all) <smiles>


Limerick

A Limerick is a rhymed humorous or nonsense poem of five lines which originated in Limerick, Ireland.
The Limerick has a set rhyme scheme of : a-a-b-b-a with a syllable structure of: 9-9-6-6-9.

The rhythm of the poem should go as follows:

Lines 1, 2, 5: weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak
Lines 3, 4: weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak

This is the most commonly heard first line of a limerick: "There once was a man from Nantucket."

Example:
I am a pretty little flower
I am endowed with lots of power
when you pick me in green
I'll bite you 'cause I'm mean
And live to see another hour.

Copyright © 2000 Christine Ann Kelley

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: thank you

Thank you, Remec, BlackShanglan...

*relaxed sigh*

Delighted to please.

(It was bugging me too )

 

[sack]

just for the record....

There are many published Limericks that do not follow the 99669 syllable scheme to the letter, but the beats seem to be more important. How is this for the last word on the subject?
(see you in a few hours!) Sack


LIMERICK DISCUSSION PAGE
Limerick Definition and Techniques


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PART ONE
BASIC RULES AND DEFINITIONS



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The following is a simplified descripition of what constitutes a limerick. Reference to "Lure" is Lure of the Limerick. See outlink page for reference.

Rhyme Scheme
Limerick must have five lines with aabba rhyme scheme. This much is well known.

Rhythm
The beat must be anapestic (weak, weak, strong) with three feet in lines 1, 2, and 5 and 2 feet in lines 3 and 4. This will be explained further below. However the following exceptions are allowed:

The first foot of an line may have only one weak beat in front of the strong beat.

Trailing weak beats that continue the rhyme are allowed at the end of the each line. Naturally these sounds must be identical over rhyming lines.

The following covers most cases, where S equals a strong beat, w indicates a weak beat, and the brackets indicate that the beat is optional. Note that on the same line, different strong beats are always separated by exactly two weak beats. The options apply only to the leading and trailing beats.

Lines 1,2,5: w [w] S w w S w w S [w] [w]

Lines 3,4: w [w] S w w S [w] [w]

Restriction on Rhyming Beats.
The last strong beats in the lines must rhyme (125 and 34) and the any weak beats at the end must match and must have the same sound over rhyming lines. Limericks with two weak beats at the end are less common than those with one or none. In poetry books, single beat rhymes are called masculine rhymes; two-beat rhymes are called feminine rhymes. A combination of wwS is called an anapest; a combination wS is called an iamb.

Beginning weak beats
Note that each line can start with either one or two weak beats. Various writers have proposed special restrictions (such as requiring just one weak beat at the start of lines one and two, or requiring matching the initial number of weak beats over certain lines), but all such restrictions fail the empirical test of describing what good anthologies and recognized masters have produced.

Even some apparent patterns such as one weak beat for the first foot of line one is caused mainly by the two formulas, "There was a . . . ," and "There once was a . . ." By the way, readers should note that the following formulation is wrong:

There once was a young lady . . .

The reason is that "once" takes a strong beat as does the first syllable of "lady" and there are three weak beats in between. This is taboo. So basically, your practice should be:

1. If you want an adjective, use something like, "There was a young lady . . ."

2. If you wish to omit the adjective, then use something like, "There once was a lady . . ."

Before using either form, readers should note the comment on style found below.

Examples:
Following are some well-known limericks with beat patterns laid out.


There was a young lady from Niger. (w S w w S w w S w)
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger. (w S w w S w w S w)
They returned from the ride (w w S w w S)
With the lady inside, (w w S w w S)
And the smile on the face of the tiger. (w w S w w S w w S w)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


There was a young lady from Kent (w S w w S w w S)
Who said that she knew what it meant (w S w w S w w S)
When men asked her to dine, (w w S w w S)
Gave her cocktails and wine. (w w S w w S)
She knew what it meant but she went. (w S w w S w w S)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


There was a young man of Oporta (w S w w S w w S w)
Who daily got shorter and shorter. (w S w w S w w S w)
The reason, he said, (w S w w S)
Was the hod on his head, (w w S w w S)
Which was filled with the heaviest mortar. (w w S w w S w w S w)
(C.L. Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


As a beauty, I'm not a great star. (w w S w w S w w S)
There are others more handsome by far. (w w S w w S w w S)
But my face, I don't mind it, (w w S w w S w)
Because I'm behind it. (w S w w S w)
Tis the folks in the front that I jar. (w w S w w S w w S)
(Anthony Euwer)
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PART TWO
Fine Points and Judgment Issues


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Judgment on Beats
This is largely a matter of ear, emphasis, with consultation with a dictionary when in doubt. One good test is whether the sentence sounds natural with beats on the assumed accented syllables. A particular one syllable word may be weak or strong depending on the context. Since anapest has fewer strong beats than iambic, the criteria for strong beats tends to be more stringent. The preposition, "of" can be strong in iambic, e.g. "I am the leader of the street", but is nearly always weak in anapestic, e.g., "I'm the king of the road". [Note the superiority of the anapest phrasing.]

Following are some general indications of which beats are strong and which are weak.

One syllable words: May be strong or weak, but there are some strong tendancies. Most nouns (not pronouns) and action verbs are strong. Most other one syllable words are weak. Some exceptions are: (a) "was" is strong in expressions like, "There was a"; (b) "once" is strong in "There once was a"; (c) "not" is strong as in "I will not". In the four limericks cited above, the rule works with 105 out of 110 one-syllable words.

Two syllable words give two basic possibilities. Either, the whole word is weak or (more frequently) the accented syllable is strong with the other syllable weak. Two syllable nouns and action verbs nearly always have a beat syllable. Other words may be entirely weak, although many words other than action verbs and nouns will have a strong beat.

Three syllable words: Should usually be handled with the dictionary's accented syllable treated as strong and the other two beats treated as weak.

Four syllable words: This can be broken down into three cases.

If the main accent is on the second or third syllable, then treat that syllable as strong with the others as weak.

If the main accent is the first or last syllable, you can scan the word as SwwS, provided the other end syllable gets a secondary accent.

Otherwise, you should look for a new word.

Five syllables and beyond are left as exercises to the reader, since they rarely occur.

Note that in general, that if dictionaries give more than one pronunciation, you may use whichever will work. If you are using a regional pronunciation, it will help if you can locate the action in the region where the pronunciation is plausible.

Should a dictionary ever be over-ruled? Yes, but not often. Generally, the most frequent case is a two or three syllable word, where the last syllable gets a secondary emphasis. In such a case, you can usually get away with emphasizing the last syllable at the end of the line. Examples are the words, costume and coed, for which the dictionary indicates emphasis on the first syllable. Still, the spoken emphasis is very nearly the same on both syllables, so there is emphasizing the second syllable, especially when the word comes at the end of a line.

If the two syllable word is a spondee (equal emphasis on syllables) or even a near spondee (as above), you may place the beat on either syllable (but do not engage in wishful thinking here).

Amphimacers
Another important modification of the anapest rhythm is that one can get away with using amphimacers, which are feet of the form SwS, in place of the supposed wwS. The reader can pretend that it is a wwS form. I will give an example.

An amorous maiden antique (w S w w S w w S)
Locked a man in her house for a week. (w w S w w S w w S)
He entered her door (w S w w S w)
With a shout and a roar, (w w S w w S w)
But his exit was marked with a squeak. (w w S w w S w w S)
All this looks good except for the second line which looks like it should be (S w S) at the start. This is an amphimacer, which is acceptable in anapestic poetry. There are a number of reasons why one can get away with this. (1) Since readers know that there cannot be an accent on the first syllable they are willing to glide over it. (2) The word, "man" is obviously a beat word. (3) The limerick is rhythmically strong throughout, so there is no danger of losing the scansion.

When I slip in amphimacers, I prefer that they lean to the right a little. In other words, even though the foot is of the form SwS when it should be wwS, I like the first syllable to be not quite as strong as the last, so that the wwS reading is more plausible. It is perhaps easiest to get a way with a left-leaning amphimacer at the end of a line. The reason is that there is often a natural lift at the end of a line (as well as the rhyme reinforcement), so one can cheat a little here and still hold the rhythm.

Invalid and Dubious Exceptions
Limerick books sometimes contain tricky things that are not really limericks or verses that have such a strong tradition that they are accepted despite some deficiency. The reader is not always forwarned. For example, the popular Amazon poem (Lure, p. 116) is not really a limerick at all because the beat is clearly iambic.

The rhymes are mandatory. I do not like joke forms where the last scandalous word is shunned, unless the substitute also rhymes as with my Clinton and Hubbell limerick, where the replacement for the shunned word also rhymes. See also my limericks for wimps page.

Finally, please note that on the web, one will often find supposed limericks that fail miserably because of the lack of the proper beat pattern. The beat pattern must be there or it is not a limerick. Going by "ear" is not enough unless you are experienced enough to recognize the beat pattern. The "ear" is of course helpful in deciding where the beats are in many cases, but if you can't fit the finished product into the framework, it is not really a limerick.

Another Unusual or Exceptional Case
A sometimes encountered legitimate exception is that all weak beats at the start of the fourth line can be omitted, but usually there has to be strong justification for this, such as two weak beats at the end of line 3. Examples: Lure, p. 121, Bates; Lure, p. 150, emporium; Lure, p. 164, Gleason. In the last two of these cases, there is a triple rhyme at the end of lines 3-4, so the rhythm is not lost.

In Bates, the argument is complex and some purists would argue that the scansion is wrong. My own view is that Bates as given in the Lure is proper, because of the following: (a) the feminine ending of line 3; (b) the gasp of anticipation reaching over to line 4; (c) a possible trill on the r in 'rendered', which can serve as a weak syllable; (d) the truly awesome verb, 'rendered' (which has two greatly different meanings, both of which fit). But this is an exceptional case. It is always acceptable to provide one weak syllable at the start of a line, and in 99+ at least one such beat cases is mandatory.

Another contention (advanced by a reader) is that triple rhymes in lines 3/4 should be followed by (at most) one weak beat in the start of lines 4 and 5. In the case of line four, this is usually done, but in the case of line 5, I have found exceptions.

Lest some of you find all this confusing, let me summarize in a way that will cover nearly all cases, and perhaps put your minds at ease.

For all cases, not involving a triple rhyme in lines 3-4, simply observe the basic rules given at the top of this discussion page under Rhythm.

In the case of a triple rhyme in lines 3-4, you should prefer one (rather than two) weak beats at the start of line 4, especially when line 3 flows into line 4.

In the case of a triple rhyme in lines 3-4, you may omit a weak beat at the start of line 4 (if the flow is strong), but this is not required.
Rhyming
Generally the rhymes should be precise or nearly so. Consonance is not allowed, nor are eye-rhymes. Rhymes based on mispronunciations are dubious unless the distortion is reasonable to the speaker. If, for example, the distortion is southern, Texan, Brooklyn, etc., the poem must indicate the the setting. Note also that ending "d" and ending "t" are pronounced so much a like that they can be rhymed. So for example, "list" and "missed" rhymes nicely [as Mikado fans know so well].

In a two syllable rhyme [feminine rhyme], the beat must be on the first of the two syllables and the last syllable must be the same. There are a few cases where one can get way with last syllables nearly the same. The most frequent such case is where the weak syllable has a leading "h" in some cases but not others. For example, "kissed her" and "sister" can be rhymed, as can "odd, he" and "body."

The consonant sound preceding the rhymed sound should be different, so e.g. "pain" should not be rhymed with "pane." With two syllable words this is more defensible. I would not strongly object to rhyming "airplane" with "explain," but this is still somewhat defective. [Also note that "Monica" and "harmonica" is another example of a rhyme that is defective for this reason.]

Of course, some popular old limericks repeat rhyming words, the most noted examples, being "tiger" in the "Niger" limerick, and the limericks of Edward Lear. The, "Niger" limerick gets by because it is otherwise good and partly because the context makes the repetition effective. Still, this formulation is considered obsolete, so it should usually be avoided. In my pages, I think I use it only once, in the "False Creek" limerick. (By the way, False Creek is a real place, and I do compensate with an internal rhyme on the last line.) As a general rule, repetition of rhyming words should be avoided.

The rhymes should appear to be unforced. This means that every rhyming word must appear to be natural in the context. Limerick writers are entitled to one arbitrary name, place or person, but anything more is suspect. The place or name need not have much to do with the rest (although it is nice if it does). Even the abitrary name should be real, not just made up for the limerick. Consider:

There was a young girl named Suzanne
Who came from the town of Spokane
This is a dubious beginning, unless there is some news story that links Suzanne with Spokane. My personal preference is to make all five lines count, but one arbitrary name in a neutral introductory line is perfectly acceptable.

Of course, some limericks succeed despite two names; I will give one such example:

A team playing baseball in Dallas.
Called the umpire bad names out of malice.

While that worthy had fits,
The team made eight hits

And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

In this case, one gets away with the arbitrary name at the end because of the clever zeugma (double meaning of the word "made" in the last two lines). Also note that 'Alice' is a very common name, which helps a little.

One frequent criterion that is invoked for rhymed poetry is that the rhymes should appear to be unforced. This does not mean that the poem cannot be rhyme-driven. Rather it means whether the the rhymes shuld not appear to be arbitrary in the finshed product. Let us note two examples. Consider the limerick by Lewis Carroll. Notice that there is nothing arbitrary once the first line is dispensed with. Hod-carriers did use their heads and mortar is a natural thing for them to carry.

In the limerick, antique (also given above), the first line phrase is so memorable in itself that it gains easy acceptance despite the adjective noun reversal. From then on, the phrasing and word order are all natural. The rhyming words appear to be totally unforced. A "week" is an ordinary length of time, the "door" is where invited guests usually enter. Further, "roar" and "squeak" are very obvious words denoting the extremes (lions roar and mice squeek), so that the words at the end of the last two lines do not appear to be rhyme-induced at all.

Also note that if you must use a somewhat forced rhyming word, it is better to get it in early, preferably the first line. This is the main reason why arbitrary names are usually placed in the first line.

Content
I recently talked to a person who admitted that for many years, he thought there was a rule that limericks had to be about sex. Well of course, this is not true, although it helps. My opinion is that noble sentiments, world peace, a nice image, small town nostalgia, sincere self-pity, or the like are unsuitable for a limericks. A good limerick must have some element of the absurd.

The most obvious path to absurdity is to be bawdy. Here one has access not only to the risque theme, but also the host of euphemisms, which become weapons in the limerick writer's arsenal. If not bawdy, limericks should still be rough in some way, such as through ludicrous use of language, ludicrous situation or ironic comment. Of course, if more than one of the following can be combined, the limerick may be better.

Basics on Style
Limericks should generally follow proper rules of grammar and usage, with word orders as natural as possible. Of course, speech can be substandard, pretentious, stilted, etc., when appropriate to the speaker.

Punctuation should be standard, except for the first words of lines being capitalized.

This genre can and does take more low usages than other forms of poetry.

This genre can and does take more ingenious rhymes than most other forms of poetry, but one should still strive to make the rhymes appear to be as natural as possible.

This genre can and does support the use of puns more than other forms of poetry. Even so, most limericks do not employ puns.

Bawdiness or salaciousness are not substitutes for cleverness.

Advanced Style Issues
Here I will address some points that are more controversial and perhaps inject even more of my own opinion that usual.

It is very important to avoid akward inversions. For this reason I usually stick to English word order, despite all the pain that this has caused me. One means of overcoming such problems is to use let sentences flow over lines.

Like many modern limerick writers, I tend to like to hit the ground running, with action or relevant description in the first line. This helps tell a more complex story and it often enables the later lines to be more natural, unforced, and effective. The formula start has worn thin over the years. So my preference is to make the first line substantive.

Dextrous use of fancy words enhances a limerick, but clumsy use of fancy words does not help.

I like the use of finesse, even when dealing with salacious topics, so my preference is to use vulger forms only when there is strong justification (contrast, needed for rhyme). Within these webpages I have used very few "bad words."

 

[My Erotic Tale]

(lesser? I think not~ lmao)

You suck sack~
of course you know this <grin>
well I know my poem sucks but here's my limerick


this country boy don't have much money
for roses, cards or candy, honey
but here's what I'm a gonna do
to show you how much "I Love You"
on Valentines Day, Raining or sunny

We will hop in the truck
in the back hops OLE ' Buck!
that dog sure does love to ride
you'll be sittin' by my side
my hand on your knee, "shucks!"

Along the Texas Highways we'll drive
untill look out point I spy
we been there a many a night
your smile turns big and bright
and I see a gleam in your eye

We'll wind our way up the trail
when we get there I'll start to yell
at the top of my lungs, I spew
telling the world, "I Love You"
Repeatedly till I'm exausted or fell

I'm Proud to yell across Texas, "Your Mine"
and that being with you is sublime
I'll even add a truck horn blow
you, me , Buck, Texas and the radio
then I'll read this poem, to My Valentine


oh yea,
you didn't check out
....Handy man ....
poem <big grin>




have a nice night
it's been a hell of a day...

 

[sack]

I liked the Limerick.....

and the "lesser" comment was a joke obviously. I was less enamored with your Rainbow Poets comment, especially since Jim is such a sweet person....he doesn't deserve that!


Sack

 

[foehn]

limerick theory

I had no idea that such a lengthy treatise could be written on the limerick. I'm adequately compensated, though, for now I know what a zeu... zeu... what was it again? ... is.

 

[foehn]

zeugma.

yeah, got it.

rhymes with... magma. smegma...

 

[The Mutt]

"There once was a poetry teacher,

who was quite a fetching young creature,

the boys in her class,

argued whether her ass,

or her tits were the teacher's best feature."

from my story Headmistress Oatlash

 

[foehn]

A young girl in old Ojinaga
once said to me, “Meester, no paga –
estúpido tú,
if it wasn’t for you,
no sé yo que si yo sí lo haga.”

 

[foehn]

There was once a young lady in Dallas
who lived in an opulent palace;
but now she has died.
There’s a big mess inside,
where she used dynamite for a phallus.

 

[foehn]

The wheel was a peerless invention
but does nothing much for retention
of bodily gas
that won’t exit the ass
and causes a painful distention.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

I posted it on the where have you been published
thread, but this poem was read on the radio, the
valentine poem contest, not as a winner but as a
poem that caught their eye <grin>

well I know my poem sucks but here's my limerick


this country boy don't have much money
for roses, cards or candy, honey
but here's what I'm a gonna do
to show you how much "I Love You"
on Valentines Day, Raining or sunny

We will hop in the truck
in the back hops OLE ' Buck!
that dog sure does love to ride
you'll be sittin' by my side
my hand on your knee, "shucks!"

Along the Texas Highways we'll drive
untill look out point I spy
we been there a many a night
your smile turns big and bright
and I see a gleam in your eye

We'll wind our way up the trail
when we get there I'll start to yell
at the top of my lungs, I spew
telling the world, "I Love You"
Repeatedly till I'm exausted or fell

I'm Proud to yell across Texas, "Your Mine"
and that being with you is sublime
I'll even add a truck horn blow
you, me , Buck, Texas and Kuez radio
then I'll read this poem, to My Valentine

even as bad as it is they made it sound pretty good <grin>
thanks sack, if it wasn't for this thread
I wouldn't have written a limerick~

 

[impressive]

Not JUST a limmerick ... but a monosyllabic limmerick. (First posted on the Monosyllabic Thread in the AH.)

Originally Posted by impressive

There once was a hot chick from Lit
Who could get off with dick or with clit
She sat on Bel's lap
and gave Mat's ass a slap
and came 'tween the lick and the split

 

[Remec]

There once was a man from Bellue,
Who didn't know what he should do,
He was in a real pickle,
And had spent his last nickle,
Convincing his girlfriend to screw.

 

[average gina]

There once was a girl in a park
And a dog was near in the dark
Her ass spread to slit
A choice of ass and clit
All he could do was lick and bark

I was so impressed with impressed limerick, I had to try it myself. Harder than it looks, y'all!

 

[The Mutt]

For her housekeeper, old lady Biddo
hired a sexy and studly young kiddo,
She told him his duty
included her booty,
He said, "Sorry, I don't do widows."