Is it bad to want attention?

[Chris_Michael]

Finally, as too marriage - always remember when it comes to statistics the danger of the ecological fallacy - An ecological fallacy (or ecological inference fallacy) is a logical fallacy in the interpretation of statistical data where inferences about the nature of individuals are deduced from inference for the group to which those individuals belong. It's one of the most common mistakes in reasoning.

The nature of the OP is in her post. She's not even married yet, and she's already expressing dissatisfaction with her relationship. How many times have I heard women on Lit say these same things after 10-20 or even more years of marriage?

 

[NOIRTRASH]

We spend half our lives obsessed about having better, and half our lives regretting what we threw away for better.

 

[UnderMyKilt]

I know it's every girl's dream to have a man who cares about my personality and all that, who isn't shallow. The last thing I want to do is to give that up just because I'm a little vain.

I really like attention, compliments, and feeling desired. My fiancé is trying, but he's shy so his tone is always hesitant and he sticks to the same few phrases/actions and it's very obvious that it's not really genuine.

Would it be wrong to make a photo thread without telling him? Would you be hurt if your S/O did this? Or is this kind of attention something I'm going to have to give up to stay with this guy?

I wonder if this was posted while the OP had her nose buried in a smartphone, while sitting in the same room and totally ignoring him as well?

Just sayin'

 

[Dribble]

I know it's every girl's dream to have a man who cares about my personality and all that, who isn't shallow. The last thing I want to do is to give that up just because I'm a little vain.

I really like attention, compliments, and feeling desired. My fiancé is trying, but he's shy so his tone is always hesitant and he sticks to the same few phrases/actions and it's very obvious that it's not really genuine.

Would it be wrong to make a photo thread without telling him? Would you be hurt if your S/O did this? Or is this kind of attention something I'm going to have to give up to stay with this guy?

Why dont you ask your therapist? You remember who that is?

In the mean time...break off the engagement. He deserves someone that loves him for who he is in spite of his flaws and maybe you will find someone who you feel you can be honest with.

 

[nayia]

My rule of thumb is, cheating is whatever your partner says it is. I would be fine if my partner asked about doing something like that but I'd be hurt if she did it behind my back.

I'm pretty cynical about self-help books but one that I have found useful is the "Five Love Languages" one. The gist of it is that there are several different ways people express love, and a lot of disharmony comes when people don't recognise the ways their partner favours. Might be worth your while to find a copy and discuss it with him.

We downloaded this book and have started reading it together, thanks to everyone for your advice

It seemed to me like a common problem and I guess I was looking for a more easy fix but it turns out that working up the nerve to bring this up in conversation was way harder than actually having it.

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Best of luck Nayia

 

[Conager]

We downloaded this book and have started reading it together, thanks to everyone for your advice

It seemed to me like a common problem and I guess I was looking for a more easy fix but it turns out that working up the nerve to bring this up in conversation was way harder than actually having it.

Thanks again, everyone.

What a very nice result from a thread bound for a flame war. The thing about advice in any situation is you should always pick and choose. Take what you can use and completely disregard the rest.

 

[thefishfryer]

We downloaded this book and have started reading it together, thanks to everyone for your advice

It seemed to me like a common problem and I guess I was looking for a more easy fix but it turns out that working up the nerve to bring this up in conversation was way harder than actually having it.

Thanks again, everyone.

Does this mean there won't be any tit pics?

Seriously though, hope things work out the way you want.

 

[Dribble]

What a very nice result from a thread bound for a flame war. The thing about advice in any situation is you should always pick and choose. Take what you can use and completely disregard the rest.

There was no flame war. Look. It is quite simple. If you are adult enough to ask here....you should be adult enough to accept the answers you get. I actually took the time to search her past posts. Either what she wrote previously was truth....or not. How would anyone know? One simply assumes it is and goes from there.

Should people have just said sure....go for it....your fiancés needs are less important than yours? She needed a slap in the face...got it....and made a choice that potentially benefits her relationship as a result.

Or we can sit here and sing kumbiya together.

 

[browneyedgirl1984]

This argy bargy is all well and good, but has she posted her naked boobs yet?

Typical man!

 

[may_I_please]

Typical man!

He's joking

And I found it funny

 

[thefishfryer]

He's joking

And I found it funny

Thanks.

I guess she not as open-minded as she thinks she is, or she was just having a bad day.