Isolated BDSM Blurts: Facehugger Fetish

[MeekMe]

Thinking about toxic positivity. It’s something I knew deep down was wrong but couldn’t articulate. Like looking at something at a glance that seems okay, but there’s something just slightly off about it and you can’t tell just what. Like I just noticed the painting was hung an inch too low.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I’m just not doing well. Today I told the eye doctor receptionist that it was cool that I got to use the e-pen to sign the receipt. I also told the Lowe’s woman that it was cool that I was using the e-pen, and cool that I could take an optional survey.

That’s not quite right.

 

[gracie920101]

I’m just not doing well. Today I told the eye doctor receptionist that it was cool that I got to use the e-pen to sign the receipt. I also told the Lowe’s woman that it was cool that I was using the e-pen, and cool that I could take an optional survey.

That’s not quite right.

Um...everyone handles those e-pens and you never see them wiped down. Ugh!

Wait! Were you at Lowes buying those clearance plastic Adirondack chairs?

 

[IrisAlthea]

Wait! Were you at Lowes buying those clearance plastic Adirondack chairs?

If so, I think we have to look in to getting him under treatment.

 

[Primalex]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth...
but really...posting a twelve years old face picture?

 

[LallyH]

At the self service supermarket till earlier, I noticed that whoever had been in front of me had left a multipack of condoms in their basket, unpaid for.

Did they mean to buy them, then accidentally leave them behind, and are now frantically looking for them, kicking themselves for ruining some exciting plans? Or did something happen that changed the prospective buyer’s mind - a disappointing phone call, perhaps?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Um...everyone handles those e-pens and you never see them wiped down. Ugh!

Wait! Were you at Lowes buying those clearance plastic Adirondack chairs?

If so, I think we have to look in to getting him under treatment.

I was, OK? I WAS. The planet is bubbling, democracies are still on life-support, anti-vaxers are selling personalized hot Q-Anon content on their OnlyFans sites, Liz Phair has canceled her spot on Alanis Morissette’s tour and all that’s left is for me to buy those plastic wobbly fake-ass fuckers to keep them out of the hands of good people. But am I really only DRIVING DEMAND??? AM I??!!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

At the self service supermarket till earlier, I noticed that whoever had been in front of me had left a multipack of condoms in their basket, unpaid for.

Did they mean to buy them, then accidentally leave them behind, and are now frantically looking for them, kicking themselves for ruining some exciting plans? Or did something happen that changed the prospective buyer’s mind - a disappointing phone call, perhaps?

YOU??!!

 

[seela]

I found a place that translates as “sea monster” on google maps so I’m taking a slight detour to see what it is. If you never hear from me again, I’ve been eaten by a sea monster. Just so you know.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I was, OK? I WAS. The planet is bubbling, democracies are still on life-support, anti-vaxers are selling personalized hot Q-Anon content on their OnlyFans sites, Liz Phair has canceled her spot on Alanis Morissette’s tour and all that’s left is for me to buy those plastic wobbly fake-ass fuckers to keep them out of the hands of good people. But am I really only DRIVING DEMAND??? AM I??!!

I don’t think it matters. Isengard will just keep issuing more anyway.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Saruman is a fucker, innit he?

Yup, sure is.

 

[gracie920101]

 

[gracie920101]

yummy i'mma try it

I should know better than to show this to someone who's preggers! SMH

 

[seela]

I got a PM asking this, so I’m here to tell that I was, in fact, not eaten by a sea monster.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I got a PM asking this, so I’m here to tell that I was, in fact, not eaten by a sea monster.

But how do we know that you are the real Seela and not the sea monster in disguise?

 

[twister947]

I got a PM asking this, so I’m here to tell that I was, in fact, not eaten by a sea monster.

I know you were looking forward to that...maybe next time.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I don’t think it matters. Isengard will just keep issuing more anyway.

Saruman is a fucker, innit he?

“Do you know how flimsy plastic Adirondack chairs first came into being? They were proper chairs once, taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life. And now... perfected. My fighting Uruk-Hai.”

- Saruman

I got a PM asking this, so I’m here to tell that I was, in fact, not eaten by a sea monster.

‘Twas a seela monster, it was.

 

[seela]

‘Twas a seela monster, it was.

Psst. Seela doesn't sound "sea-la" but rather the e is pronounced like in Spanish, but longer. Like if you'd say "veeeeery interesting", like this little factoid no doubt was.


Blurt:

I found a recipe that I can't use, because of my OCD tendencies. Who cuts up a pie randomly like that? It's like they're trying to annoy me.

 

[y=mx+b]

I quit my job for uncertainty.
But hey. It's her dream.
And who am I to get in the way of that?

 

[seela]

One unexpected advantage of the current sneaker trend is that when I’m meeting someone IRL for the first time, I can just tell them I’m the one wearing heels and they’ll find me.

 

[twister947]

Summer is in the home stretch, and I don't have any bugs on my windshield...something is very, very wrong.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Psst. Seela doesn't sound "sea-la" but rather the e is pronounced like in Spanish, but longer. Like if you'd say "veeeeery interesting", like this little factoid no doubt was.

THANK YOU! This is most helpful to me and I wish I had known it many years of erroneous puns ago. Time to seelabrate.

 

[cookiecat]

Why is the dog barking at midnight?

 

[seela]

THANK YOU! This is most helpful to me and I wish I had known it many years of erroneous puns ago. Time to seelabrate.

It's a cup half full situation. Now you get to come up with completely new puns!

 

[gracie920101]

Psst. Seela doesn't sound "sea-la" but rather the e is pronounced like in Spanish, but longer. Like if you'd say "veeeeery interesting", like this little factoid no doubt was.


Blurt:

I found a recipe that I can't use, because of my OCD tendencies. Who cuts up a pie randomly like that? It's like they're trying to annoy me.

Oh no. Pies just don't cut like that!