Isolated Blurts - The HT Cafe Way

[Lord Pmann]

I just ate a dozen donuts. *vom*

 

[talikat]

Cookies!!

 

[Lord Pmann]

One year for murder. That fucking stings. What a surprise.

 

[BeachMomma]

We have a winner!

Dude wants to be a nurse, but he has bigger issues than his inability to multitask and his crappy work ethic. I'm doing the world a favor.

Three other students in that class also aspire to our nursing program. Two of those students are functionally illiterate and read and write at a lower level than my nine-year-old; one of the two thinks that when she becomes a nurse and lands a job, her employer will pay for her to go to medical school.

Let me come talk to your students for about 10 minutes. I'll either convince them that: 1) they don't have a clue what nursing school is all about (or what being a nurse is all about for that matter), 2) They don't have what it takes to either get accepted into or finish nursing school, or 3) That they'd better get serious about school and their lives if nursing is what they really want.

One must learn to single-task before one can learn to multi-task. Unfortunately, nursing school doesn't consider texting to be one of the life skills necessary to safely practice as a nurse. Additionally, I've never once in my career put "Able to text message and run a code blue simultaneously" on a resume.

 

[Eilan]

Let me come talk to your students for about 10 minutes. I'll either convince them that: 1) they don't have a clue what nursing school is all about (or what being a nurse is all about for that matter), 2) They don't have what it takes to either get accepted into or finish nursing school, or 3) That they'd better get serious about school and their lives if nursing is what they really want.

One must learn to single-task before one can learn to multi-task. Unfortunately, nursing school doesn't consider texting to be one of the life skills necessary to safely practice as a nurse. Additionally, I've never once in my career put "Able to text message and run a code blue simultaneously" on a resume.

1 and 2 are the most likely scenarios.

Many of my lower-functioning students don't understand why they need to be able to read and write (!) to be a nurse. I'm thinking, "If you can't read basic test directions,** you will not be able to understand medical terminology."

One of my colleagues explains it pretty bluntly: "Look, if I publish an article, people may not agree with it, but they're not in danger. If you can't write coherently, people may die."

And if my classes don't dash their hopes, the Anatomy & Physiology classes will.



**This happened today. A student didn't know what the word "parentheses" meant when it appeared in the exam instructions.

 

[OTCurve]

Does anyone else wonder sometimes...

"What is the bloody point?"

 

[NippleMuncher]

**This happened today. A student didn't know what the word "parentheses" meant when it appeared in the exam instructions.

That's an easy one, it's the paper you have to write before being eligible to become a parent.

 

[talikat]

That's odd.

 

[BeachMomma]

1 and 2 are the most likely scenarios.

Many of my lower-functioning students don't understand why they need to be able to read and write (!) to be a nurse. I'm thinking, "If you can't read basic test directions,** you will not be able to understand medical terminology."

One of my colleagues explains it pretty bluntly: "Look, if I publish an article, people may not agree with it, but they're not in danger. If you can't write coherently, people may die."

And if my classes don't dash their hopes, the Anatomy & Physiology classes will.



**This happened today. A student didn't know what the word "parentheses" meant when it appeared in the exam instructions.

Doctors' handwriting isn't already illegible enough; I'd hate to think of the med errors that would occur if the nurse couldn't figure out what the doctor MEANS instead of what he WROTE.

In a single 12 hour day, I probably spend 4 hours on direct patient care. The other 8 is spent charting, reading what others have charted, ordering tests, treatments, or medications, coordinating care between different departments and practitioners, and basically just playing air traffic controller for the patient's care - all of which require higher than average communication skills. Communication (both written and oral) are so important in nursing that speech/communication is almost always a required gen ed.

Oh, but before they get far enough to coordinate patient care, they must first pass the NCLEX - which is a written, timed test. It isn't just multiple choice either. A very large majority of the questions are "multiple multiples" - select all that apply.

If they think A&P is bad, wait till they get to Microbiology and BioChem! And if that's not bad enough, Fundamentals of Nursing will kick their asses and make them go screaming to mommy.

 

[Eilan]

Doctors' handwriting isn't already illegible enough; I'd hate to think of the med errors that would occur if the nurse couldn't figure out what the doctor MEANS instead of what he WROTE.

In a single 12 hour day, I probably spend 4 hours on direct patient care. The other 8 is spent charting, reading what others have charted, ordering tests, treatments, or medications, coordinating care between different departments and practitioners, and basically just playing air traffic controller for the patient's care - all of which require higher than average communication skills. Communication (both written and oral) are so important in nursing that speech/communication is almost always a required gen ed.

Oh, but before they get far enough to coordinate patient care, they must first pass the NCLEX - which is a written, timed test. It isn't just multiple choice either. A very large majority of the questions are "multiple multiples" - select all that apply.

If they think A&P is bad, wait till they get to Microbiology and BioChem! And if that's not bad enough, Fundamentals of Nursing will kick their asses and make them go screaming to mommy.

I'm confident that these three students will never have the grades to be able to apply to any nursing program, let alone worry about the NCLEX. Not on my watch.

Eilan, dashing hopes and dreams since 1998

 

[BeachMomma]

I'm confident that these three students will never have the grades to be able to apply to any nursing program, let alone worry about the NCLEX. Not on my watch.

Eilan, dashing hopes and dreams since 1998

And I thank you for that. That's the generation that will be taking care of us when we get old and sick. You aren't dashing dreams; you're protecting the public.

 

[MisterChaos]

Sometimes lying is a good thing

 

[silverwhisper]

eilan, that postscript really oughta be in your profile. :>

ed

 

[silverwhisper]

incidentally: can someone please inform EL james that there is a whole host of words that can be used as substitutes for "erection"?

OK, thanks!

ed

 

[unregistered]

 

[Eilan]

Just saw an obituary in which the deceased's first name was Felon. Oh, my.

 

[BeachMomma]

I know a hand surgeon named Dr Hand. I swear.

I know a gastroenterologist named Dr Colon.

I know a urologist named.....no, his boat is named "Priapism."

 

[Saucyminx]

I know a hand surgeon named Dr Hand. I swear.

I know a gastroenterologist named Dr Colon.

I know a urologist named.....no, his boat is named "Priapism."

I contracted a urologist who had wooden inlaid bladders with attached kidneys as a border the whole way around the check out counter. My poker face was sorely tested that day. I did eventually have to ask how much that had cost him. Uros are a strange bunch.

When I worked for the Department of Public Welfare, I had a provider "wall of name shame" in my cubicle. My fav was Dr. Dingcong until recently. Now I giggle over Dr. Kuznits. His first name is very close to the word saggy. Yep, he has saggy kuznits.

 

[NippleMuncher]

That took me a minute, and then I laughed out loud.

Thank you! At least somebody enjoyed that one.

 

[Emerson40]

Tequila, you dirty girl. You never disappoint.

Happy Cinqo!

 

[vibes]

How long does it fucking take?

 

[Andromeda_Blue]

incidentally: can someone please inform EL james that there is a whole host of words that can be used as substitutes for "erection"?

OK, thanks!

ed

Can someone please inform EL James that she has the writing capability of an illiterate monkey? That is the WORST thing I've ever read, and I cannot believe that I'm copping to having bought all three of them in one go. OMG. And it's made MILLIONS. I fear for the world if writing like that is what's going to sell at that magnitude.

 

[Andromeda_Blue]

My God, I feel so much better now!

 

[Saucyminx]

For those of you who remember the saga of the little cat I have been trying to catch

since October. . . .

I've been earning her trust since then and could finally get her close enough to pet her.

I finally caught her today, and took her to the vet. She was walking funny, and stank to high heaven. Poor little thing had a massive absess covering her entire back end under her tail, including internal infections, and every one's favorites, maggots. They did the best they could cleaning it all out, gave her antibiotics, and something to kill any remaining guests, and told me its touch and go in the next 48 hours. She may have too much scar tissue inside and if so, I will have to do the right thing and haver her put down.

She is currently residing in a big dog kennel with her brand new bed and water dish in my kitchen. We named her Hobbes. Any good energy anyone can spare in her direction would be greatly appreciated. She's a ferocious little thing, and pretty tough. Here's to hoping.

 

[Eilan]

You're good folks, Saucy. Sending kitty-healing vibes your way!

You know what I mean!