Isolated Blurts - The HT Cafe Way

[NippleMuncher]

Overheard in my entry and garage as I am using my arse to lever the old fridge into place.

Him: Don't do that, it's too heavy!
Me: I have a big arse you know.
Him: No shit, but you also have a bad back!
Me: YOU JUST SAID I HAVE A BIG ARSE!

*crickets*
*I look up from said position levering fridge with arse...

Him: *Trying not to laugh*
Me: YOU DID, Fucker! *laughing*

The common quote around here is, "does this <enter object here> make my ass look big?"

It all started on a family trip, there were four of us and we were getting onto an elevator with another unknown couple. It was a small elevator, and everyone had to kind of shuffle for me to step in. Sis commented on the elevator size, to which I retorted, "what, does this elevator make your ass look big?" The guy of the other couple was choking back laughter, his girlfriend/wife didn't find the humor of the comment. Everyone else was laughing their asses off. Ever since, it's been a family favorite.

 

[Emerson40]

Oh, and there's been at least one complaint.

Your not referring to that drunk loser who lashed out at you are you? That guy was just pissed because any ass, regardless of proportion or ability to jostle appliances, is a million times better that his life will ever amount to. You were just a convenient and susceptible target for his rage and self-loathing. Piss on him.

Anyone else offering up complaints best go have their eyes, or sexual orientation checked.

 

[NippleMuncher]

That's greatness.

I'm still laughing about last night, so so funny.

So you're admitting, Rainshine has a big puddle!

 

[imemkay]

Two weeks. Two whole weeks!!!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Two weeks. Two whole weeks!!!!

FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you have for two whole weeks?

 

[imemkay]

FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you have for two whole weeks?

Someone's undivided attention!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Someone's undivided attention!!

You already live with Picasso, that doesn't count!

 

[imemkay]

You already live with Picasso, that doesn't count!

Not Picasso, silly! Or even Wednesday. Someone else!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Not Picasso, silly! Or even Wednesday. Someone else!!

It's Pmann, isn't it! Please tell me it isn't Pmann! It's Pmann! SHIT!!! FUCKER!!!

 

[imemkay]

It's Pmann, isn't it! Please tell me it isn't Pmann! It's Pmann! SHIT!!! FUCKER!!!

Jesus! What are you trying to do, make the recipient of one of Rainshine's squints?? No, it's not Pmann.

 

[imemkay]

Oh time zones....how I despise you!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Pmann can, and will, do whatever he pleases.

I choose to do you.

 

[Eilan]

Finally heard back about the job. I'm interviewing next Tuesday.

 

[imemkay]

Finally heard back about the job. I'm interviewing next Tuesday.

Good news! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

 

[Eilan]

Good news! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

Thanks! They're only holding interviews for two afternoons next week, so I guess there won't be a ton of candidates.

I'm fairly friendly with the head of the search committee and will actually be seeing her socially at a friend's house later this week. I'm not going to bring up the job unless she mentions it first, though.

 

[silverwhisper]

hey eilan, let us know when it's gonna be so we can all point dancing bananas at you.

ed

 

[NippleMuncher]

Good news! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

Ditto!!!

I got my finger crossed just for you Eilan. Just for good measure, I've got my arms, legs, eyes and toes crossed too.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I hate certain Internet providers. Well, just one really.

 

[LikeASnowflake]

I had no idea this song was by Robin Thicke!!! I'm on the floor hahah

 

[Lord Pmann]

The privilege is mine.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Fuck.

 

[haha_on_me]

Has haha gone off the grid again? Haha?

Almost, I'm standing on a precipice looking down.

 

[haha_on_me]

*sits you down and sits with you*

*pats your hand* Thank you, all is well.

 

[talikat]

Crap!!! I'm such a fool.

 

[talikat]

*hugs* Hope you're ok.

Thank you. I'm fine, a little naive at times, but fine.