It's all sex, sex, sex

[shereads]

Sub Joe, if your new AV is what I think it is, I may have to give up sex. Can we have your face back?

 

[pop_54]

Hi guy

Welcome back Joe

Nice to hear you packed in smoking mate, oh and wanking by the sound of it.

Please don't preach though I'm not packing in either.

 

[NoJo]

If you tried to pack either of them in, I wouldn't give you a week to live. For God's sake man, never give up.

 

[NoJo]

Sub Joe, if your new AV is what I think it is, I may have to give up sex. Can we have your face back?

Okay.

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

Welcome back Joe.

When I first started posting here, you were one of the regulars. Funny how empty the place has seemed without ya.

ax

 

[Boxlicker101]

Perdita, surely you know that they're just staring at the nipple.

That's not entirely true, although there is a lot of truth to it. The AV also has a pretty face.

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmmm

Perdita, surely you know that they're just staring at the nipple.

I love Purdy's nipples I also love her pretty face of course, and her little friend

Hey Joe you're looking heathy and tanned in the Av, been on a sex cruise somewhere?

 

[Black Tulip]

Hi Joe,

When you were away, I sneaked in.

After I quit smoking.

Not that I am counting or anything, but it's 16 months now.

 

[NoJo]

Re: Hmmmmmmmm

Hey Joe you're looking heathy and tanned in the Av, been on a sex cruise somewhere?

The only sex cruise I could afford to go on is the one at King's Cross, by the gasworks.

No, that was me in August here in London. Right now my nose and eyes are streaming and I'm in bed with a Beecham's powders. I don't look my best, my dear.

Summer seems so, so long ago.

 

[English Lady]

*grins at Sub Joe* thank you...I think *L* I like to show my best side in my AV's!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Awwww, the nostalgia... Remember the time when we all used to say, when faced with a problem: "I wonder what Sub Joe would have done?"

 

[NoJo]

Hi Joe,

Not that I am counting or anything, but it's 16 months now.

When do you feel the urge most? I get a big urge after a meal, a massive one when I'm sitting in my car in traffic, and a small to moderate sized one most of the time.

 

[wildsweetone]

Gidday SJ sweet heart, welcome back!

I hope your trip away was worth the withdrawal symptoms from Litland.

Geez I remember giving up smoking and the urge to have that smokey taste on my tongue. Darn, if I had a packet here right now, I'd light up.

Popcorn helps.

 

[shereads]

Okay.

Thank you, honey. I had tried and tried to pretend I was looking at a strange rock formation with some tree roots wrapped around it, but it wasn't working. I feel better now.

 

[shereads]

When do you feel the urge most? I get a big urge after a meal, a massive one when I'm sitting in my car in traffic, and a small to moderate sized one most of the time.

Never ever. It's been 13 years after 3 packs a day. I used to think if I were ever diagnosed with a terminal illness, I'd smoke again. Now I think, no, then I'd have a terminal illness and smelly clothes.

You'll get over it, subjoe. It's essential to develop the smug, condescending nature of the Ex-Smoker. It feels good to look down on people who were once your peers, if only for this one tiny superior thing.

 

[shereads]

Re: Where you going with that shotgun?

Hey Joe.

A couple of introductions necessary here I think.

Shereads doesn't actually write, she reads, and is therefore an interloper, but she is amusing and the biggest thread starter here at the moment (If you don't count Mab and Svenska), so we tolerate her un-authorliness.

Oh my God. You're right. I am one of the biggest thread starters.

How mortifying.

Note to self: Remember what a life is? Get one.

 

[Parklife]

sex? isn't this a place to trade recipies??? must of took the wrong turn at albequerqie....

 

[damppanties]

If you do want to read something of mine, my favorite are the two Cindy Heller stories I wrote a couple of years back. They're lurking somewhere in the top ten or so of the "Humor And Satire" top list.

Yep, read 'em.

Cindy Heller Ch. 1
Cindy Heller Ch. 2

And Mayfair Lady too.

Welcome back Joe.

 

[whispering_surrender]

sex? isn't this a place to trade recipies??? must of took the wrong turn at albequerqie....

Am I the only one who read that and could hear Bugs Bunny's voice saying it???

Whisp

 

[Black Tulip]

When do you feel the urge most? I get a big urge after a meal, a massive one when I'm sitting in my car in traffic, and a small to moderate sized one most of the time.

I will not state the very obvious.

After a good meal is difficult, sometimes. Truly bad is only in high stress situations. But I even have days going by without thinking about smoking.

I swear, scout's honor.

 

[NoJo]

Shame you didn't state the obvious.
I'm finding it's getting harder and harder every day. Sometimes I think I'm about to explode.

 

[Black Tulip]

Deep breaths and glasses of water.

And never forget how proud you can be if you stick to your decision.

How's that for a peptalk?

 

[NoJo]

I feel pepped. But also slightly ashamed.

When I think that you've managed to survive 16 months without it, I feel I'm making a big fuss about what is after all a disgusting, antisocial habit, even if you don't do it in a pubic place. At work, I used to have to go out into the street or the nearby Churchyard to do it, and fell a terrible pang of guilt when one of my work colleagues would catch me at it.

It's when people in the office said they could smell it on me that I realized things were going too far.

 

[shereads]

Am I the only one who read that and could hear Bugs Bunny's voice saying it???

Yes. Bugs would have said, "I knew I should have turned left at Al-bu-quer-kay."
With the accent on the last syllable.

 

[shereads]

I feel I'm making a big fuss about what is after all a disgusting, antisocial habit,

That's the spirit. You're born to the breed. Destined to be a smug, lecturing anti-smoking ex-smoker of the first order. Yes! Our ranks swell.

(Again with the sex; sorry.)