Johnny's Advice Corner

[Johnny Mayberry]

Have you ever considered writing for the internet oracle?

I would...but frankly I have too many iron in the fire. I post here, I moderate somewhere else, I'm moving to Florida in a few weeks...I can't help everyone, you know?

 

[WriterDom]

How do we account for the historical Person of Jesus Christ? He has made such an impact upon history that we even measure our calendar by Him. 2000 years on and millions still follow Him.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

How do we account for the historical Person of Jesus Christ? He has made such an impact upon history that we even measure our calendar by Him. 2000 years on and millions still follow Him.

We don't. We lay the credit(or blame, depending on viewpoint) squarely at the feet of Paul, who not only is much more likely to have existed, but also codified the new cult, and inserted what is likely the most powerful idea in religion since monotheism: non-tribal based membership in the cult. Up until that point, your religion and your tribe were one and the same. Paul pretty much invented the conversion process.

Beyond that, the Jesus myth was initially so successful because it is an amalgam of dozens of other faiths, so felt comfortable to new converts. Same holy festivals, many of the same myths, Christianity was really the best of all worlds. Religion has always been a projection of man's deepest emotion, and the flexible myths of early Christianity was all things to all people.

Christianity today? Based on a thousand years of plunder and bloodshed. Convert half the world at the point of a sword and any cult would be successful, no?

 

[Etoile]

I would...but frankly I have too many iron in the fire. I post here, I moderate somewhere else, I'm moving to Florida in a few weeks...I can't help everyone, you know?

That's too bad, I do think you'd be good at it! Maybe someday.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

That's too bad, I do think you'd be good at it! Maybe someday.

Yeah, someday...in the meanwhile, I've got my corner, now ask me some questions, dammit!

 

[Etoile]

Johnny, can you hear me?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Johnny, can you hear me?

Ummm...no, although when I read your typed words I actually do "hear" the words. You "sound" like Naomi Watts, for some reason.

 

[Etoile]

Oh crap, I just realized the line is TOMMY can you hear me. No wonder that didn't make much sense! Bwahaha... I had it completely screwed up!

 

[ghosst_K&H]

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Oh crap, I just realized the line is TOMMY can you hear me. No wonder that didn't make much sense! Bwahaha... I had it completely screwed up!

LMAO!!

 

[Etoile]

I even had the "deaf dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball" line in my head and I still had the name wrong.

I'm going to go hide in a corner now

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I even had the "deaf dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball" line in my head and I still had the name wrong.

I'm going to go hide in a corner now

You silly chick.

 

[dragonlace]

Yeah, someday...in the meanwhile, I've got my corner, now ask me some questions, dammit!

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickles peppers, If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter piper pick?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickles peppers, If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter piper pick?

8 quarts, or about a quarter of a bushel...that's ALOT of peppers!!

 

[dragonlace]

8 quarts, or about a quarter of a bushel...that's ALOT of peppers!!

thanks i always wondered

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

thanks i always wondered

That's what I'm here for!

 

[Etoile]

I am totally loving this thread

Hey, Johnny, what's your sig a quote from?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I am totally loving this thread

Hey, Johnny, what's your sig a quote from?

Fight Club...even if you have seen the movie, the book by Chuck Palaniuk is still worth reading.

 

[watergirl]

hiya!

When someone asks how bad I've been... whatever should I say?

I'll think good thoughts for your move to go well & in good weather, JM!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: hiya!

When someone asks how bad I've been... whatever should I say?

I'll think good thoughts for your move to go well & in good weather, JM!

I can't think of anything that isn't outrageously rude, so I'll just say thanks for the good wishes...


..and good luck with that!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Silly question

What is the best thing to put on bruised skin so that the bruising fades quickly (besides ice...)

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Silly question

What is the best thing to put on bruised skin so that the bruising fades quickly (besides ice...)

Gunpowder...raw meat is a favorite, or a poultice of 2 parts ground mustard seed, one part set honey, and one part finely chopped onion. If you want to prevent quite so much visible bruising, take extra vitamin C.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: Re: Silly question

or a poultice of 2 parts ground mustard seed, one part set honey, and one part finely chopped onion.

ahh I will try this..though the bruising is from a nice healthy shiner...not from having any REAL fun...

*shakes head in disgust and leaves the thread*

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: Re: Silly question

ahh I will try this..though the bruising is from a nice healthy shiner...not from having any REAL fun...

*shakes head in disgust and leaves the thread*

Ohhhh....KAY!

Next question, and let's try to be a bit more upbeat, shall we?

 

[Krinaia]

Which came first the egg or that little dog in the Taco Bell commercials and whatever happened to the little bugger?