Johnny's Advice Corner

[Etoile]

Yes, little girl, you may worship me... (even if it is from afar)

What's this afar? You're obviously stalking me all over this thread!

 

[FungiUg]

What's this afar? You're obviously stalking me all over this thread!

Can I help it if you hang out in cool threads?

(Okay, you can all stop groaning now...)

 

[Krinaia]

<pouts>

Why isn't anyone stalking ME? Is my ass too big? Johnny?

<sniffles>

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Yes, little girl, you may worship me... (even if it is from afar)

Hey fucktard, why don't you keep your flirting to one of the other 100 threads you have sidetracked with your libido?


Stupid fuck...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

<pouts>

Why isn't anyone stalking ME? Is my ass too big? Johnny?

<sniffles>

No one stalks you because your online 'voice' isn't that of a 12 year old girl. If you can act like you giggle alot, and pretend your IQ is under 80, you'll get alot more attention.

Also, act like you will do ANYTHING for anyone who calls himself 'Master'...that seems to work too.

 

[Krinaia]

... so instead, i'll just stalk you for a little while...

why is the sky blue?

why do new appliances have that weird smell when you take them out of the box?

what would happen if i never emptied the lint catch in my dryer?

what would happen if i never cleaned the lint out of my belly button?

how come, i actually never get lint in my belly button?

how am i supposed to keep my mind off sex whilst working on drawings for a fire station at work?



oh and can i have something of yours? a real stalked should have an artilce of something... a picture, your underwear, your finger nail clippings, something... PUHLEASE

 

[Krinaia]

oh and nice use of the word fucktard! bravo.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

1)The sky is blue because the blue frequecies of light are scattered in the atmosphere, while the rest of the color frequencies pass straight through.

2) So that you know they are new?(chemicals left over from the manufacturing process, or from the shipping materials.)

3) The lint would catch on fire and burn you to death? CHANGE THAT LINT!!

4) You have exceptional hygiene, a really small belly button, or a alien lint-repulsor ray.

5) Think about sex really hard for 2 minutes, and then imagine a bucket of livers.Alternate until you don't feel sexy...


Hmmmm...we'll have to negotiate for an item of my belongings for your shrine to me....

 

[BrightFlower]

I am quite desperate for help, willing to do ANYTHING to solve this particular problem. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing anybody has suggested thus far has worked. How do you potty-train a 3 yr old boy????

 

[emme]

Johnny,

I 've always been curious. What does the drummer say at the begining of Def Leopard Rock of Ages??

Emme

 

[redelicious]

I am quite desperate for help, willing to do ANYTHING to solve this particular problem. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing anybody has suggested thus far has worked. How do you potty-train a 3 yr old boy????

I'd like the answer to that one myself.

 

[dragonlace]

I am quite desperate for help, willing to do ANYTHING to solve this particular problem. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing anybody has suggested thus far has worked. How do you potty-train a 3 yr old boy????

try painting a target inside the bowl or using something like cheerios that he can aim at....makes it fun and also helps to get their aim right from the start....lol....they even have things just for that that help.... also telling them you will get them like spiderman underwears if they can do it or buying them and saying if they can do it they get to wear them

OOops sorry forgot i wasn't the guru for a second...runs.....

 

[Limbhugger]

I'll try to think of a question right after I get done laughing my ass off at "fucktard."

 

[Netzach]

Help help!

Cat thinks it's a dog. What do I do?

 

[Krinaia]

Help help!

Cat thinks it's a dog. What do I do?

<snickers>

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I am quite desperate for help, willing to do ANYTHING to solve this particular problem. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing anybody has suggested thus far has worked. How do you potty-train a 3 yr old boy????

Hmmmm...make the kid sit on the potty until he goes, about 30 minutes after every meal? This is a toughy, you know? Have you asked Dr. Laura yet?



I'll get back to you in the morning....

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Johnny,

I 've always been curious. What does the drummer say at the begining of Def Leopard Rock of Ages??

Emme

That's Mr Shania Twain himself, producer Mutt Lange, with some goofy German-sounding gibberish he used to count the band into the song.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

OOops sorry forgot i wasn't the guru for a second...runs.....

Don't let it happen again!!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Help help!

Cat thinks it's a dog. What do I do?

Hey, if that cat is happy, I wouldn't mess with it, so long as it doesn't shit or piss in the house or hump your leg!

 

[Krinaia]

Hey, if that cat is happy, I wouldn't mess with it, so long as it doesn't shit or piss in the house or hump your leg!

What if I humped your leg?

 

[Netzach]

And what if I peed on your floor?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

What if I humped your leg?

*grins* I'd hump your leg back.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

And what if I peed on your floor?

I'd rub your nose in it.

 

[MasterNico]

So where in Florida are you moving to? Can't wait to meet you.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

So where in Florida are you moving to? Can't wait to meet you.

I'm moving somewhere between Jacks-On-Ville and the Gap Chasm, just east of dragon country.