Kinky family members? Genetics, environment, or...

[neonflux]

Oh, I almost forgot to mention.

My uncle is a true-blue pervert with loads of dominant and sadistic tendencies, pretty much set me on my path.

Could this be what was meant by your family telling you that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" hmmmm... (P.S., your current AV is very, very HAWT! Couldn't help mentioning. )

the apple hasnt fallen far from the tree

i know both my parents dabbled in BDSM, but as far as i know they only did it as a bedroom game. i know for a fact that they have nipple clamps, a leather corset, the taiming of sleeping beuaty, and a slapper in thier room. this is the reason that while they are not thrilled that thier only daughter is very happily submissive... they really cant say much about it.

Another apple! I am impressed that you can be so open. I haven't, if only because I think my mother would worry too much.

 

[neonflux]

They all live in NZ, and I'm in Australia, and although I miss them lots I'm glad I have my space to finally be ME

(P.S., remember that TMI stage you're daughter's going through very well...)

 

[neonflux]

My mother insists that she's not really interested, has experimented a little etc.

Then it comes out in the wash that when she was married to my stepfather he had pretty much mandated that she should have stockings and garters on at all times. She had them on under her jeans from the time I was in third grade - high school. (!) He also had periods of hardcore Catholic guilt and would beg her to "punish" him till she did apparently.

This seems pretty intensive. I mean I like stockings as much as the next freak and M doesn't have them on every day...

I don't know, the idea of a man wearing stockings under his suit pants every day.... All I can say is whew! (Shankeeeeee! oh, wait, that's panties.) I have to say, both stories are very intense. Made me think a lot more about my mom. I've never brought any specifics up with her. She has confided in me having same-gender experiences with a roommate when she was a student at Antioch (this was in the late 40's) - she was a little tipsy, kept giggling... Neon

 

[neonflux]

Great topic!

I think genetics plays a big part for two reasons: 1) so many people, including myself, seem to have had the kinky gene since a young enough age that it seems unlikely a specific environment is required and 2) I have a family full of kinksters. Yes, would rather not have known about some of them (definitely TMI), but then again, my road looks damn easy compared to my uncle who announced the the family when he was 50 that he had always felt like a woman - he's now close to surgery to seal the deal.

I realize that my views may be driven by personal experience, so I may not be a purely objective observer here. I do think environment plays a huge part in whether we feel okay with *expressing* our kink - liberal parents who talk freely about sex seem to me more likely to produce kids willling to explore and express all kinds of sexualities, including kinky ones.

OV

OV, I tend to agree with you on the idea of environment playing a role in how comfortable we are expressing our kink - or at least being able to do so without guilt. Although, that doesn't explain how many of us have come from sexually "reticent" (I was going to say repressed but that sounded too judgmental when not talking about sex can be more a matter of propriety - as it is in japan - rather than shame). Perhaps there are other things in our environment that enable us to grab onto our desires? I am now thinking of Marquis' sexual revolution thread. Certainly, there have been people with same-gender sexual/affectional orientations throughout history, even when those desires were greatly repressed. Has to also be true for kink, even prior to de Sade, etc. Neon

 

[neonflux]

I'm pretty sure my parents dabbled, and I found a stash of dad's porn novels that included some REALLY kinky stuff (at least to a 16 yo), so he at least liked reading about it. My parents are both gone now, but they never knew about my proclivities. I think, from comments my brother's made, that he and my SIL are kinky on some level. They're been together 25 years, so it must work for them.

My husband and I think one of his sisters is kinky, but she'd cut out her tongue before discussing sex with her "baby brother".

Do you mind my asking your age? I ask because I am assuming from what you've said that you're a baby boomer or close to it? I am 51 and I've always assumed that some of this had to be generational with the sexual revolution, women's movement and LGBT pride movements all opening the door to greater comfort with sexual expression. Despite Betty Page and the nascient leather movement of the 1950s, it seems that kink was sooooooo underground during the period my mother was coming into her own sexually that most people would never have had access to it... Neon

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Hmmmmm, could it be a case of your sister protesting too much? I am looking forward to the fish post. *chuckles* Regarding your conversation with your brother, could I listen in on the other line, LOL? (No just kidding, please don't ask - am worried 'bout the response, considering. A teddy bear being perverse????)

Introducing my sister . This is not a disparaging portrayal either. I couldn't find the original that reminded me of her that day . It had fangs.

The real deal , her comments were leading to some correlation between BDSM and pedophilia as I understood her to imply . All this based on a two inch high teddy bear costumed as a leather-man . Obviously not someone 'protesting to much'. Her mouth dropped open just like that , incredulous of my purchase ....... yadda yadda yadda......

My brother will be cool with the conversation. We can talk about most anything. Well except the topic of my sister." Such a downer dude." I'll show him the picture above when we get together this evening and get a second opinion on that as well . Bend a rule just this once and get back to you. Bet he tells me to post something worse : laughs :

 

[Ebonyfire]

This comes under the heading of there is a first time for everything!

My daughter and I are being taken to dinner by one of my submissives. She is all for it, and I thought she never would be. Although we both are dominants we seldom "talk shop" because that goes under TMI.

This is going to be some dinner party!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I don't know, the idea of a man wearing stockings under his suit pants every day.... All I can say is whew! (Shankeeeeee! oh, wait, that's panties.) I have to say, both stories are very intense. Made me think a lot more about my mom. I've never brought any specifics up with her. She has confided in me having same-gender experiences with a roommate when she was a student at Antioch (this was in the late 40's) - she was a little tipsy, kept giggling... Neon

I like the idea of panties. I think that getting rid of the tighty whities is a priority except for keeping a few pair for emergencies like doctor's appointments and the health club.

 

[neonflux]

I like the idea of panties. I think that getting rid of the tighty whities is a priority except for keeping a few pair for emergencies like doctor's appointments and the health club.

ROFL! Although I'd trade the tidy whities for a pair of boxers any day.

 

[neonflux]

This comes under the heading of there is a first time for everything!

My daughter and I are being taken to dinner by one of my submissives. She is all for it, and I thought she never would be. Although we both are dominants we seldom "talk shop" because that goes under TMI.

This is going to be some dinner party!

If you're in the mood for sharing, how did it go? Sign me curious and STILL a little envious

 

[Ebonyfire]

ROFL! Although I'd trade the tidy whities for a pair of boxers any day.

I think my sub just likes the way his nuts are tightly held in briefs. Just a guess cause the tighter the panties, the happier he is.

 

[Ebonyfire]

If you're in the mood for sharing, how did it go? Sign me curious and STILL a little envious

We haven't gone yet, cause all of our schedules suck, and we have to find a babysitter for the spawn.

 

[Xelebes]

My parents have handcuffs.

Plastic.


Uhhhhhhhh.... I don't want to even know why....

 

[Hummingbyrd]

This is the best thread ever!

 

[neonflux]

We haven't gone yet, cause all of our schedules suck, and we have to find a babysitter for the spawn.

The spawn... *chuckles*

I think my sub just likes the way his nuts are tightly held in briefs. Just a guess cause the tighter the panties, the happier he is.

Well, this certainly guarantees a lack of "spawn."

 

[neonflux]

My parents have handcuffs.

Plastic.


Uhhhhhhhh.... I don't want to even know why....

ROFL!

 

[daringdarling]

We had "the talk"

This topic caught my eye since I just had "the talk" with my mother a few days ago. Not the birds and bees one but more along the lines of "I think I have been kind of into BDSM in my head since my late teens, mom".

Contrary to some I would not have minded at all if she had replied something like "oh, don't worry, hon. Blame it on your father, he does it all the time too." My dad sometimes makes some jokes about S/M in a "that is just sick and perverted" kind of way. I hope it doesn't show but that usually hurts.

The discussion with my mom went well all in all. She is easy to talk to about any and everything, including intimacy. She basically told me not to worry and that time and everyday life speeding up around me, working, raising a family and all that would cure me and make those desires fade away. If only ...

I am not entirely sure why but having had at least the possibility in my family that there might be a genetic predisposition for perversion would have been a conforting thought. At least for me. My offspring might start to argue with the idea one day though, so it is probably good that they shall have normal grandparents as role models besides a sexually deviant mother.

I think part of me still feels guilty for those needs and desires. Genetics you can blame others for, behavior on the other hand ...

 

[Ebonyfire]

ROFL! Although I'd trade the tidy whities for a pair of boxers any day.

I don't know why some men love tighty whiteys so much. They are butt ugly.

 

[Ebonyfire]

The spawn... *chuckles*

Well, this certainly guarantees a lack of "spawn."

Hey I am wayyy past the breeding stage! I am strictly playmate material!

 

[Linyari]

I realized awhile ago that in my case at least, kink might be hereditary. I know my dad is kinky. Supposedly my mom was while she was married to my dad. Now I think she might be "too Christian". I have no idea and don't really want to find out.

But I know many of the people on my father's side of the family are definitely kinky.

Though as far as I am aware, I'm the only one that has ever come out as queer in any form. (I'm bi.) But I'm assuming that there has to be one of us that is. In this big of a family there would have to be SOME leanings.

 

[Marquis]

I've just decided my dad is clearly the kinkiest man alive.

The degree to which he enjoys torturing me is obviously indicative of homoerotic, incestuous sadistic fantasy.