Head in the pillows is divine. Especially when the head tries to rise and is smacked back down. So---"disrespectful" just doesn't convey the complete lack of dignity evoked.
The ass-molding line unfortunately brought up memories of "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty," which I found truly silly. One fanciful part had the girls running down a course in high heeled boots with a noble riding on horseback behind them and speeding them along with a paddle on/under the ass. Silly, as I said.
Netz, you said that your evil ways are met with curiosity if anything in "polite conversation"--could it be that the conversation is polite because of the fact that the people with whom you converse are the sort of people who WOULD respond well to talk of atrocity, were it brought up? I don't want to confuse the logic of the matter but I think it does apply.
Right, I didn't assume that you'd be so lucky as to have all the pervs in your part of the country. But for example, I have a new friend at work with whom I recently broached the B subject. I had run him through my litmus test and he turned up vanilla but I still felt like I could talk frankly without getting stoned to death. That intuition about a person's probable reaction is part of what makes them a certain level of friend to me and makes me say "kay, can discuss A, B, and C with this person." So not just "we've talked about this and they're cool," but "I predicted they would be cool so as a result we talked about it." Or even "I predicted they would be cool because they are the sort of person who would be cool, which is why they are my friend." Just another standard. Aahh, am I making any amount of sense?
Letting them open their mouths first is always a safe way to go about it, too. And involves less rambling on my part.