Lands Challenge Thread

[Angeline]

For my fishy friend

I've taken up Rybka's challenge on her behalf (not that I was asked but what the hell)

The once was a poet named _Land
Who in bass voice challenges planned
Said this Angelfish how he carps on at Lit
Limericks for the halibut he'll demand!

 

[Guest]

Re: Fizzle Fish

Xtaabay, of course I read your poem. I have read ALL your poems, and your stories TPP! I have liked them all very much.
I just wish you would tell us how to pronounce your name and what it means.

Re links: Next time you make a post on the board, look just above the box you type in. There are a couple lines of buttons that let you do neat things to your text. The button command you want for making a "link" is labeled "http://". Just click on it and follow directions. You will need to know the name for the link, and the link's URL address (which appears in the "address box" at the top of your screen when you view the linked page. Just type or cut and paste. - Make sure that "http://" only appears one time.

Regards,                       Rybka

Regarding my name, see the post I made in the "new poems" section I'd give you the link, but it would probably take you to the wrong place actually, see the two posts I made in the new poems section. One is a reply to you, the other is a reply to Angeline.

Thankyou for the complements

I tried the exact method (for making a link) as what you describe above, but it links to the wrong place! I triple checked the address, so I don't know why it goes to someone else's page. Oh well, one of life's mysteries

--Xtaabay

 

[Rybka]

I Really Like Your Work!

I tried the exact method (for making a link) as what you describe above, but it links to the wrong place! I triple checked the address, so I don't know why it goes to someone else's page.

.
If you at least got a link, you must have everything correct except for the correct URL address.
Are you using a IBM compatible machine or an old Apple?

I will be willing to try and help you, but I am not an internet guru.

Rybka

 

[Guest]

Re: I Really Like Your Work!

.
If you at least got a link, you must have everything correct except for the correct URL address.
Are you using a IBM compatible machine or an old Apple?

I will be willing to try and help you, but I am not an internet guru.

Rybka

Yes, my computer's an IBM. And I used the same exact URL that was in the window at the top, you know, in the address bar. And I checked it 3 times, and even though I used exactly what was there, the link ended up leading to someone else's page. I think it's one of those mysteries that you just have live with.. sort of like knowing that you'll never discover the meaning of the universe, or understand how bumblebees can fly. One of those types of things
--Xtaabay

 

[_Land]

Re: Sorry _Land, just can't seem to do limericks

The attempt alone satisfies the challenge Rybka
And The double intendre is great LOL....
Pass a challenge on to a fellow poet when ya get a chance,
Im just thankfull im still working on the sonnet Judo challenged me too

Monkfish

"See the fishes jump with joy!"
said the monk to Jewish boy.
"You are not a fish," he cried.
"How do you know what's inside?"
Smiling gently, monk replied,
"How do you know, little goy
that inside my thoughts aren't Koi?"





I tried, but this is as close as I could come. - You also get only one double entendre, and little alliteration.
Does this satisfy? Should I post it?

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[_Land]

Re: For my fishy friend

My dearest Angeline seeing as you are so keent o take up challenges Maybee Rybka will have a good one for you If not I will rub my hands together and grin




\

I've taken up Rybka's challenge on her behalf (not that I was asked but what the hell)

The once was a poet named _Land
Who in bass voice challenges planned
Said this Angelfish how he carps on at Lit
Limericks for the halibut he'll demand!

 

[Angeline]

Giggling at __Land

I couldn't help it--that halibut line popped into my head and I just had to do it, lol! It's not often one gets to use the word "halibut" in a poem.

 

[HomerPindar]

It's a tough challenge, the limerick only has five lines, set number beats per line, and predetermined rhyme scheme... I missed the alliteration on my own attempt at it....

HomerPindar

 

[_Land]

HOMER, challenged

and no im not talking about being simpson fact challenged.....

Homer I challenge you to write a diamante on your Name.


Oh BTW, _Land is back.

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: HOMER, challenged

and no im not talking about being simpson fact challenged.....

Grin, that's good, cause my name is based on the Greek poets...

Homer I challenge you to write a diamante on your Name.


Oh BTW, _Land is back.

Welcome back!

um, having looked it up in both my dictionaries in the room, then in my poetry guide that I have I was stumped...so I went to the online dictionary and:

Main Entry: di·a·man·té
Pronunciation: "dE-&-"män-'tA
Function: noun
Etymology: French, adjective, like a diamond, from diamant diamond, from Middle French
Date: 1904
: a sparkling decoration (as of sequins) or material decorated with this <a gown trimmed with diamanté>

you want a sequin version of my name...?

Not that I look good in sequins mind you, but I figure I'd get this right.

HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

Sequins?

Homer, I'd loan you my old prom gown, but it doesn't have sequins. Can you wear a size 10?

_Land these challenges are getting entirely out of hand.

P.S. Karmadog didn't write his sonnet yet. (Snickers and runs from thread.)

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Sequins?

Homer, I'd loan you my old prom gown, but it doesn't have sequins. Can you wear a size 10?

_Land these challenges are getting entirely out of hand.

P.S. Karmadog didn't write his sonnet yet. (Snickers and runs from thread.)

HA! this'll teach ya...

Homer*Angeline*Pindar

See, dressed up my name just fine for you _Land

 

[Angeline]

Homer*Angeline*Pindar

Well lovely as you look, I somehow don't think it was _Land's intent......

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Rybka Challenged

I just wanted to see some more of your great poetry



This is the challenge! Seeing as your the funny bone at lit, i would like to see a Limmerick about Fish, it must have four double intendre in it. Please make good use of alliteration. No lenght limit

Okay. I read this challenge today (okay okay...I am new here and trying to catch up!), and whadda ya know? Doggerel began dripping from my fingers.

Here is the sad result (wrap in newspaper if you can't stand the smelt):

A lascivious fishy named Mike
spawned and spawned on whatever he liked.
In occasion he'd flounder
(though he preferred rounder),
but when he wants teeth, it's a pike.

A horny young mullet nemed Joe
tried to get a young blowfish to blow.
She said, with a pucker,
"What you need is a sucker
For your needs. A fish more appropos"

A charming young swordfish called Chad
had his eye on a young fin-nish lad
"A delectable morsel!
A fine piece of dorsal!"
He said, "that one's made to be shad!"

In wat'ry whorehouses they'd stray
For a perch or a tuna to lay.
A conservative eel
protested with zeal,
"Protect family social morays!"



I just know I'll be herring about this one. Sorry. Could not resist.

Cordelia

 

[Angeline]

Cordelia?

I'm uh reeling from those. You're no piker; you didn't flounder around for a minute! Cod ya do some more when you have the chance?

Angelefish

(reely. wasn't trying to bait you.)

 

[swagman]

Re: Cordelia?

I'm uh reeling from those. You're no piker; you didn't flounder around for a minute! Cod ya do some more when you have the chance?

Anglefish

(reely. wasn't trying to bait you.)

What a pearl of a comment....but please dont clam up........you oyster tell some more.......with a little more bass perhaps.......but I see that you (tailor)ed it to your audience.........(wtf do I work Barramundi and Sailfish into this conversation ???)

*chuckle* see ya soon Angeline my sexy fishy friend

ROFL

 

[Angeline]

Swag?

*chuckle* see ya soon Angeline my sexy fishy friend

ROFL

Now the reel piker has arrived--and no baiting, you know I'm hooked on you!

 

[HomerPindar]

I thought there was a general agreement here, NO WORM BAIT!


HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

Worm Baiting

Shhh, Homer--Swaggie's an Aussie who's a little (twirls finger by ear) y'know.....if I don't humor him, he'll sail over and make me drink one of those 9,000 oz cans of Foster's.

(Snickers and runs from thread before Swag returns.)

 

[Cordelia]

open challenge

This may have been addressed in another thread, but since I haven't seen it, and I have yet to find a poem done in this form (in English) that I really liked, I thought I'd pose it as a challenge.

The challenge is to write a paradelle. Any subject.

A paradelle is a French form that contains four six-line stanzas. The first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words. Similarly, the final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words.

I realized, during the last month's attempts at this form, that this is more of a puzzle than a poetic form. But somehow, the mathematician in me was intrigued and I am determined to write one. I will post it here as soon as I can finish one of these.

I admit I found a few decent ones online in some of the poetry sites, but nothing captured my attention except one in spanish that was breathtaking. Maybe it lends itself to the Romance languages...

In the meantime, I challenge you fine poets to give this a try.

If this has been done in another thread, please point it out to me and I will slink away in shame...

Cordelia

 

[Angeline]

Holy Moly!

I'm going to try this Cordelia, though I fully expect to fail miserably!

 

[Angeline]

Paradelle

Ok, I know I screwed this up and Im tired because I woke up at 3 and unable to sleep attempted a Paradelle. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Lovers’ Paradelle

Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
As twilight fades to night
As twilight fades to night
She unfurls in him as twilight fades
Falling to silk into swaths of night

Lips this close before touching are drawn
Lips this close before touching are drawn
As fragile birds born by gravity
As fragile birds born by gravity
Lips are born this fragile as birds drawn
Close by touching before gravity

Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
thus unknowing do they yield
thus unknowing do they yield
Their heedless eyes do shining thus
Belie the unknowing hearts they yield

Touching lips their hearts are born before
They unfurl shining silk to heedless twilight
Drawn unknowing Into this black gravity
They fade they close their eyes
Thus fragile as a falling bird she yields to him
Born as swaths of gravity falling into night

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: open challenge

This may have been addressed in another thread, but since I haven't seen it, and I have yet to find a poem done in this form (in English) that I really liked, I thought I'd pose it as a challenge.

The challenge is to write a paradelle. Any subject.

A paradelle is a French form that contains four six-line stanzas. The first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words. Similarly, the final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words.

Cordelia

Holy smokes! CORDIE...! I have a paper to write, I can't afford to get sidetracked by an interesting challenge

This is the sorta thing that combines the aesthetic and structural poetic forms too... I coulda used this in my english report

HomerPindar

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Paradelle

Ok, I know I screwed this up and Im tired because I woke up at 3 and unable to sleep attempted a Paradelle. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Lovers’ Paradelle

Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
As twilight fades to night
As twilight fades to night
She unfurls in him as twilight fades
Falling to silk into swaths of night

Lips this close before touching are drawn
Lips this close before touching are drawn
As fragile birds born by gravity
As fragile birds born by gravity
Lips are born this fragile as birds drawn
Close by touching before gravity

Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
thus unknowing do they yield
thus unknowing do they yield
Their heedless eyes do shining thus
Belie the unknowing hearts they yield

Touching lips their hearts are born before
They unfurl shining silk to heedless twilight
Drawn unknowing Into this black gravity
They fade they close their eyes
Thus fragile as a falling bird she yields to him
Born as swaths of gravity falling into night

Whoa. Well done, Ang... The only place I see a rough patch at is in the second stanza, the last two lines. It works so far as the structure is concerned, but the lines themselves don't read smoothly (as opposed to the rest of the poem/puzzle). Oh, maybe a coma or two in the last stanza would set that one smooth, but thats not as noticible as the second stanza. One suggestion is to move the word "this" from the fifth line to the sixth line, right before "gravity". anything else and it's a total rewrite

HomerPindar

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Paradelle

Ok, I know I screwed this up and Im tired because I woke up at 3 and unable to sleep attempted a Paradelle. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Lovers’ Paradelle

Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
As twilight fades to night
As twilight fades to night
She unfurls in him as twilight fades
Falling to silk into swaths of night

Lips this close before touching are drawn
Lips this close before touching are drawn
As fragile birds born by gravity
As fragile birds born by gravity
Lips are born this fragile as birds drawn
Close by touching before gravity

Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
thus unknowing do they yield
thus unknowing do they yield
Their heedless eyes do shining thus
Belie the unknowing hearts they yield

Touching lips their hearts are born before
They unfurl shining silk to heedless twilight
Drawn unknowing Into this black gravity
They fade they close their eyes
Thus fragile as a falling bird she yields to him
Born as swaths of gravity falling into night

WOW! (she said, ever so eloquently....)

I hate it that I've been trying this for months and Angeline gets one as lovely as this in one night.

I agree with Homer on the second stanza, but such a wonderful poem!

A question: Did you come up with the last stanza first? Tthe final lines in the other 3 stanzas before the repeated lines? How did you go about putting this together?

You are my new idol, Angeline.

Cordelia