Lands Challenge Thread

[TheDR4KE]

most excellent!

Originally posted by perky_baby
Lord Have Mercy

Remembering how he touched me there
insistent fingers, white underwear.
Virtue gone faster than holy wind
Forgive me father for I have sinned

Writhing against his insistent finger
sighing as his tongue did linger.
On hallowed ground he had me pinned
Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Arching upward in supplication
thighs spread wide for penetration.
Knees rubbed raw and slightly skinned
Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I cried out Oh lord my God
spare your child, but not thy rod.
And although I know thou art chagrined
Forgive me father for I have sinned.


Excellent work perky! This was fantastic.

Love,

Drake

PS Now you get to challenge someone. D.

 

[beths-virtue]

Judo, beautifull,
did i miss the final recalling of characters in your poem ???

 

[Senna Jawa]

[...]what's the plural of haiku?

haiku.

And no reason to worry about the number of syllables. Haiku should be a minimal poem, which means that it should be impossible to carve out a smaller poem out of it. In other words, it should have no extras, and only one point (but suggestive, giving a wide scope for interpretation, or admitting more than one interpretation).

Regards,

 

[JUDO]

Judo, beautifull,
did i miss the final recalling of characters in your poem ???

Oh, you were there, Sister Bette. (I see that your AV reflects your true avocation now.)

The characters were largely correctly guessed by Lauren and others. Look back up the thread.


- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

haiku.

And no reason to worry about the number of syllables. Haiku should be a minimal poem, which means that it should be impossible to carve out a smaller poem out of it. In other words, it should have no extras, and only one point (but suggestive, giving a wide scope for interpretation, or admitting more than one interpretation).

Regards,

Thank you, Senna. That's what I thought (both about the plural and the syllables). I've thoroughly enjoyed this form for some time, even had the chance to read a few in the original Japanese. It's not for me, though: it requires profound knowledge of the language and a precision which I can only very rarely reach in a language that's not my own.

So, no haiku challenges for me, please!

 

[beths-virtue]

OOOOOPS, Log out first Land

 

[_Land]

_Lands Fetish challenged ermmmm ummm

Beth dear, please write me a hyper sonnet

 

[perks]

TheDR4KE

Sugahduck,

I want a palindrome, please.<you'll have to click on the palindrome to get the definition, when you reach the site through my hyperlink>

Subject, your search for Shakti.

much luck. It's a beast, my revenge for that villanelle you wrote <grinning>.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: TheDR4KE

Sugahduck,

I want a palindrome, please.<you'll have to click on the palindrome to get the definition, when you reach the site through my hyperlink>

Subject, your search for Shakti.

much luck. It's a beast, my revenge for that villanelle you wrote <grinning>.

Beast doesn't even come close to covering what this is. You are cruel.

From the site you pointed me to:

A palindrome, by definition, is a word, phrase, verse, sentence, or even poem that reads the same forward or backward.

and I'm going to chose to do a word-unit palindrome, rather than letter (harder) or sentence (easier) unit.

Here's a first go at it. I'll look at it again tomorrow, when I'm more awake. (when I will probably throw this version out completely, but who knows )

Quack

the D



Searching for Shakti

Meditations soar,
smack but of peace.
Cede man's four directions.

Course chaste. Pray.
Made insight: Shakti's complement!
Too, Yang wants Yin.

Yin wants Yang
to compliment
Shakti's insight.

Maid/prey chased, coarse.
Directions for man's seed:
Piece of butt.

Smack!
Sore meditations.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: TheDR4KE

Inspiration struck me before I could hit the bed.

Quack

the D




Opening to Shakti

Open.
Sitting silently, until change.
Energy from calm.
Self-discovery triggers exploration:
Truth is duality!
Yang and Yin, balanced, becomes Yang.
Shiva awakens, needs Shakti.
Souls touch.
Lovers
touch souls.
Shakti needs, awakens Shiva.
Yang becomes balanced: Yin and Yang.
Duality is Truth!
Exploration triggers self-discovery.
Calm from energy.
Change, until silently sitting.
Open.

 

[perks]

that last one, gorgeous. You're brilliant. Simply amazing. I would have cried if given that challenge. *laughing*

you're the kickassingest, sugahduck.

 

[beths-virtue]

Re: _Lands Fetish challenged ermmmm ummm

Beth dear, please write me a hyper sonnet

you're a vile evil man , but, as soon as i can remember how to write a hypersonnet, i will...... have to hunt up some archives......
B

 

[Lauren Hynde]

ABBA CDDC CDE CDE ABBA EE, iambic pentameter prefered but not required.

 

[beths-virtue]

darn it all....
he would have to challenge me to something i have never even attempted, imp-ossible man .... i should interrupt him watching his hunting videos and thump him aside the head....., thanks lauren , ill see what i can do....

ppbbbtttt rhyme and meter... neither are my forte`

 

[WickedEve]

Beth look on page 4 of this thread. 5th post up from the bottom is an example of a hyper sonnet without iambic pentameter.
If you can get the rhyme scheme and 10 syllables per line it's not that difficult. I didn't even attempt i.p.

 

[TheDR4KE]

that last one, gorgeous. You're brilliant. Simply amazing. I would have cried if given that challenge. *laughing*

you're the kickassingest, sugahduck.

You have no idea ... that would be the one type of poem that I had tried to write in the past and failed miserably and given up on. I still remember the frustration at the time. A friend of mine had knocked one out, and not even as the main focus but just as the vehicle for a post to a mailing list. (Hey, let me write this message as a palindrom!)

And at that time I was only trying a sentence-unit...


Thanks for giving me that challenge. It also reminded me of the yin/yang nature of our relationship. We fit.



D

 

[TheDR4KE]

Open challenge: grow a haiku

First one to take it, gets it. (Or you can have a go even if you're not first )


1. Plant a seed

I want you to look out the window until you see something natural move, like a branch in the wind or a bird or cat, or your own reflection shifting. Write a few lines to describe the stillness and then the movement.


2. Water it with words

Write a 5/7/5 haiku around that image. That's way too many syllables, so you should have no problems describing the earlier lines. Don't worry about any other haiku rules.


3. Graft it onto a season

The four seasons are metaphors for transitions in life. What sort of transition did you see? Cut a part of your haiku off and graft it onto a season. Replace the part that a season word would describe instead.


4. Prune it back

Now look at every single word in that piece and cut it back to only the barest necessity of syllables. Make it a veryshort/short/veryshort haiku. And I want you to be able to justify why every syllable is there.



Enjoy,

the Drake

 

[Rybka]

Re: Open challenge: grow a haiku

First one to take it, gets it. (Or you can have a go even if you're not first )


1. Plant a seed

I want you to look out the window until you see something natural move, like a branch in the wind or a bird or cat, or your own reflection shifting. Write a few lines to describe the stillness and then the movement.


2. Water it with words

Write a 5/7/5 haiku around that image. That's way too many syllables, so you should have no problems describing the earlier lines. Don't worry about any other haiku rules.


3. Graft it onto a season

The four seasons are metaphors for transitions in life. What sort of transition did you see? Cut a part of your haiku off and graft it onto a season. Replace the part that a season word would describe instead.


4. Prune it back

Now look at every single word in that piece and cut it back to only the barest necessity of syllables. Make it a veryshort/short/veryshort haiku. And I want you to be able to justify why every syllable is there.

Chickadee-dee
hiding from winter sleet
singing in sun

for the original see:
Black Capped Chickadee

Feedback on the original would be welcome.


Regards,                       Rybka

 

[_Land]

Re: Re: Open challenge: grow a haiku

Mr Rybka, please pass a challenge on when you get a chance

I like this one

Chickadee-dee
hiding from winter sleet
singing in sun

for the original see:
Black Capped Chickadee

Feedback on the original would be welcome.


Regards,                       Rybka

 

[_Land]

Smith Peter Challenged

SP, I challenge you to write a free vers about three people in your life, it should be a 6 stanza minimum, some tid bit of how they influence you......They can not be Family......supporting pictures would be great, but not neccesary

 

[JUDO]

I challenge _Land!

(* smiles devilishly with hands behind back *) Hiya, _Land. How's it goin'? Been having fun lately? Know how I'm goin' to challenge you? (Don't you wish you did?)

I figured since you were the one who dragged my sorry ass into this challenge business that there would be some symmetrical balance achieved if you were the one I challenged in return. Hmmm... Whaddya think?

(* whips out envelope from behind back - thought it was a knife, didn't you? *)
Now, compared to what you did to me, my challenge for you is a relative walk-in-the-park. Now, now, no whimpering. If you need assistance, just ask.

Here's the scenario upon which your resulting work will be created. Ready? (* snickers *)

(* opening the envelope *)
Scenario: You are naked, sitting in a white room on a large comfortable bed. In fact, it is the most comfortable bed you've ever been on. It fits you to a "t." The room is filled with warmth and sunshine, birds are singing outside and you are filled with a peaceful sensation. At one with the world, as it were.

You are not alone. Sitting across from you is your perfect companion, bathed in sunlight on an equally large comfortable bed. She is radiant, happy and also naked. She is watching you, expectant with what you may say to her.

The challenge: Carefully choosing the perfect things to communicate to her with the perfect words, entice the beauty sitting across from you to fall in love with you. Write these powerful phrases in the form of an English Sonnet, dedicated to that perfect companion.

Get lost in the scenario first, write down what you see and feel, then take your time to write and rewrite.

I think you have a unique gift for this which will result in something quite wonderful.

No pressure.


- Judo

 

[_Land]

Re: I challenge _Land!

) No pressure hahahah Im about to pop LMAO
I accept this challenge, and am thankful you didnt give a time limit on it

(* smiles devilishly with hands behind back *) Hiya, _Land. How's it goin'? Been having fun lately? Know how I'm goin' to challenge you? (Don't you wish you did?)

I figured since you were the one who dragged my sorry ass into this challenge business that there would be some symmetrical balance achieved if you were the one I challenged in return. Hmmm... Whaddya think?

(* whips out envelope from behind back - thought it was a knife, didn't you? *)
Now, compared to what you did to me, my challenge for you is a relative walk-in-the-park. Now, now, no whimpering. If you need assistance, just ask.

Here's the scenario upon which your resulting work will be created. Ready? (* snickers *)

(* opening the envelope *)
Scenario: You are naked, sitting in a white room on a large comfortable bed. In fact, it is the most comfortable bed you've ever been on. It fits you to a "t." The room is filled with warmth and sunshine, birds are singing outside and you are filled with a peaceful sensation. At one with the world, as it were.

You are not alone. Sitting across from you is your perfect companion, bathed in sunlight on an equally large comfortable bed. She is radiant, happy and also naked. She is watching you, expectant with what you may say to her.

The challenge: Carefully choosing the perfect things to communicate to her with the perfect words, entice the beauty sitting across from you to fall in love with you. Write these powerful phrases in the form of an English Sonnet, dedicated to that perfect companion.

Get lost in the scenario first, write down what you see and feel, then take your time to write and rewrite.

I think you have a unique gift for this which will result in something quite wonderful.

No pressure.


- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oh yeah, remind everyone about time limits why don't you...

 

[WickedEve]

Hynde! Where's that thing you're suppose to write? What in the heck did I tell you to write? Well, whatever it is, write it!

 

[REDWAVE]

Eve, honey . . .

Now I remember-- Eve did challenge me way back when, didn't she? I guess that means I should challenge her.

Eve, honey, you can use any form or poetic techniques you like, but I challenge you to write a poem from the point of view of a black person living in a ghetto, or in poverty in the rural South.

That should be interesting.