Made a Domme

[ChainedEros]

...

As I child, I can remember my father saying that I was a "born leader". In my play groups and relationships with my friends, I was always in control. Always the leader. I was also a perfectionist. Everything had to be perfect - my school work, my clothes, my room, my speech ... everything. In control.

I believe that I've always been dominant. I've definitely always been kinky. I can remember feeling up grown women starting at 10 years old. Often with their husbands and children close by. Looking them in the eye, daring them to protest ...... lol I wasn't interested in girls my age. I liked to provoke sexually mature women.

I still like to push women's buttons ... see how far they will actually go. It started at a young age. Needless to say, I'm also thoroughly intrigued by Domination and submission. Not just any Domination and submission, "perfect" (total and complete) Domination and submission.

 

[AAkasha]

There was a thread posted here recently ( I believe sometime last month) on the topic of wheather (sp?) Doms and subs are made or born. Is it something that is a learned behavior or are we born that way. I was thinking about this today and realized in myself that maybe it is a learned behavior.
I am learning that I'm a bit of a sadist. I was mean, angry and cruel as a child and it felt good to be. But at the same time I was afraid of it and never connected to my peers because I was afraid of what I might do. My parent's always argued, and my hubby suggests maybe my anger was my way of dealing with the tension between them.
I was asked in a PM by someone if I have ever subbed to a strong Domly type male (he obviously thinks the only place for a woman is submitting to his every whim) Thinking on this, and looking back at growing up and a few past relationships I've had and I've realized that I have this inability to submit. I don't like the way it feels, I have to be the one in control and I feel I lose something when I submit. Looking at my mother, I believe if she weren't so dead set on societal/vanilla values she would be quite the amazing Domme. I think that's one of the reasons mom and dad never got along, they both tried to top eachother, neither of them willing to submit, and both of them having to have it their way neither willing to compromise. I was also in a relationship similar to that, which is when I discovered sleeping with other ladies. I liked how I could get them to give in to my every whim in bed. I could bite them and leave bruises, they just thought it was sexy.
Does anyone else have memories that lead them to think their allignment in this lovely lifestyle we call BDSM?

There is nothing in my childhood or upbringing that could have led to me being a femdom. No issues with men, no abuse, no single sexual-experience as a pre-teen that caused a fetish in me. I remember being interested in bondage long before I was sexual. I was interested in bondage even when boys still had cooties.

My first bondage fascination was around age 6 and was the cartoon "underdog" and how he got tied up all the time. Only recently I was jolted with a memory pre-underdog, from about age 4 I think, having to do with HR puff-n-stuff (did they put the boy in a birdcage or something? It is very fuzzy).

I tied up boys when I was 8 or so (non sexually) playing cops and robbers (who cares about barbies, give me the rope). I was tying up guys when I was 15 and 16, as soon as I could date, but not having sex with them. My bondage/S&M and roleplaying experience far outweighed my experience with sex until I was 20.

Additionally, my desire for bondage and S&m is not wholly linked to my sexual satisfaction, so it cannot be defined as a true fetish; in other words, I don't need bondage to make sex satisfying, and I don't need sex to make bondage satisfying. I enjoy both immensely, would not give either up, and can enjoy them together or separate.

I also identify as a femdom only, but do not need 24/7 control in my relationships and have no control issues -- not with people, or situations, or anything like that -- so my desire to control is segmented completely into consensual BDSM experiences.

As far as I can tell, I was born this way. The fact that it is not totally tied into my sexual satisfaction leads me to believe it's not triggered by a single sexual experience from my past that I could have forgotten. It's just something I really, really, really enjoy -- so much that I wouldn't give it up.

Akasha

 

[taolanes]

I can remember feeling up grown women starting at 10 years old.

really?

 

[Her sissy slave]

from childhood re: D/s?

i would have-to say..no.

i grew up strict paternal..thusly indicating i should have been a male Dom....

but no..i am a male sissy slave for my Goddess.


thanks

 

[Netzach]

I've posted something to this effect before, but I grew up in an extremely micromanaging, confidence-busting and closely monitoring matriarchal clan.

Female power and control feels right to me as a general archetype, but I also find that I am very uncomfortable being told what to do or how to be by anyone else. I'd say my upbringing hasn't made me a femdom or fetishist, per se (I remember getting turned on whenever a woman slapped a guy in an old movie, and I remember self-bondage experiments) but I will say that breaking free of the lack of self confidence and self determination to the point where I determine things for others...well it's a pretty sweet feeling.

 

[pandoravampire]

woops!

 

[Netzach]

I now have in my D/s relationship, the care love and nuturing that i missed as a child growing up.

From my childhood, i have a memory, of attending my own parents evening at 12 -alone.
Despite the teachers initial refusal to talk to me, rather than my parents. I stood before the headmaster, and told him, that he would do better telling me of my strengths/weaknesses, of what i needed to work on, than he ever would telling parents.


From having to take care of yourself, learning that you must be in control, coz no bugger else is going to do it, that i came to topping.
I guess i conduct myself and am percieved by others as a Domme. I am 6 foot tall, am an imposing woman, i just dont look submissive i guess? I look like a amazon for godsakes.
In another forum i belong to, i had a photo of myself as my avitar. The photo showed me, sat at dawn, with my feet up having danced all night on my feet with taken by my Domme of the time. I was dressed as a sub, i had a collar on, and yet, still the amount of mail i got asking for the Domme side of me to respond. I had thought id looked so submissive, yet had not been perceived like that at all by others!
For any really really tall woman can tell you, you dont get asked to dance by males, as they feel awkward looking up to a female when they are chatting, and you happen to be twice as physically strong as most women for some bloody reason?.
Some of this 'look' is created myself, a illusion that works. Some of the time, this role is pushed upon me. It is one i am capable of taking and doing well.
But it is not MY choice to do this.



My choice, is subbing.

It's funny, I have a really hot button for submissives taller than I am. I don't know what it is, but I just love it.

It's also self-selecting sometimes. I knew this one girl who was like "you could never top me because you're 5'4"" which I thought was totally asinine. Her loss.

 

[pandoravampire]

Personally, i dont think height should be a limit on anything BDSM or they'd have them, "You must be this height, to go on this ride" signs.

And tiny people are nifty little buggers and fast...................my they're fast. lol

And then again, as a amazon, kneeling and getting that view UP, well, thats just something rather special. And it is perhaps not insignificant, that He has chosen to address me as little one. A rather cunningly astute stunt eh?

 

[serijules]

It's funny, I have a really hot button for submissives taller than I am. I don't know what it is, but I just love it.

It's also self-selecting sometimes. I knew this one girl who was like "you could never top me because you're 5'4"" which I thought was totally asinine. Her loss.

D is quite a bit shorter than I am, and honestly, i find it more of an asset to her dominance than vice versa...all that power and control in that little package is really quite intimidating. All she has to do is look at me and she can have me on my knees...who needs height for that?

 

[ghosst_K&H]

My first attraction to BDSM and Femdom was Catwoman (Julie Newmar) tying up Batman and Robin, and the impending doom.

I grew up as the "leader" amongst my childhood friends, I was always the capitan of the team, and always went out of my way to make sides fair, and make sure everyone had fun.

Every job I've ever had I became the "go to guy", because of my leadership skills, and work ethic. I got things done, period.

Why I'm a male submissive, I don't know, but I'm not complaining.

btw I am the second of seven children, and my parents were married for 39 years until Mom and then Dad passed, Mom was in chare at home, until Dad got home, but my childhood was one of love and support, not abuse, or neglect.

Also I am 6' even, Karen is 5'7 and Holly is 5'4, so height is not an issue for us

 

[SweetDommes]

It's funny, I have a really hot button for submissives taller than I am. I don't know what it is, but I just love it.

I don't know what it is either, but I've got it too. I like looking up at ghosst ... until he gets on his knees.

 

[Seduce]

I wouldnt say I am really dominant, but I am quite autoritative person, naturally. I was never afraid of making decisions and dealing with consequences.

First, I am the only child and always had everything my way.
Second, my Father was a physician on a remote island when I was kid, and everyone there looked up at me like I was some sort of princess...... what made me quite bossy as well as lonely child, since no other children considered me equal to play with.

I could always do whatever I wanted to with my parents and I admit I turned into sort of dictator.

It didnt change when I got married for the first time at age of 20, for my ex was never mentally strong enough to tame me.
Although I am spoiled brat, I have lots of guts and I dont hesitate at anything to get things work the way I want them to.

At the end of my first marriage I literally beated up my husband, although I am a small woman when I get really pissed off I turn into demon...... he had to run for his life.

My second husband is very dominant by nature, and I sort of like it. What I would never tolerate any other man I let him go with.
I do provoke and tease him from time to time, and he admits I am very tough person to live with (he even said he feels really sorry for my first husband), but he never complies with my temper and he is far more stubborn than I am.

I dont care much about leading people or telling them what to do, but it seems that I very much atract weak people. They tend to relly on me all the time.

I started to work 6 months ago, and I already have people coming to me and asking me what to do when boss is not around....... and some of them work over 3-4 years there - I really snap at them sometimes, but they dont seem to mind me being rude. In fact they seem to respect me even more for that.
*shrugs*

What would all that make me?

 

[Her sissy slave]

lifestyle--made or born?

i say made.......because....in MY life...i have been a dominant male in vanilla.......but in this lifestyle,,,i am slave.

...and I shall put a leashed cock ring on him and he will be Mine.....
and about this?????/

ahhhhhh, the things dreams are made of.

a slave

 

[AvaAdore]

Additionally, my desire for bondage and S&m is not wholly linked to my sexual satisfaction, so it cannot be defined as a true fetish; in other words, I don't need bondage to make sex satisfying, and I don't need sex to make bondage satisfying. I enjoy both immensely, would not give either up, and can enjoy them together or separate.

Hmm, I feel the same way (though on the submissive side).

 

[Her sissy slave]

interesting. i am an only child, but my rawness comes from my abuse as a kid..i grew up mean and i stayed that way. it is now hard to undo all those years w/o anyone to talk to. the V.A. doesn't have this kind of help.

a slave