markings... how do you explain?

[James G 5]

still, situations like mine and my Master's are not as rare as you seem to believe, it's just not a part of the popular (politically correct) D/s and bdsm worlds of today. so, people like us need to know how to handle ourselves in such situations just like everyone else, and the kinky sex or bdsm play explainations just wouldn't go over, and would be lies to boot.

You're a slave
That's a BDSM relationship
The marks were inflicted as part of it (as a condition of your slavery)
Therefore, it's not a lie...altho I can see your objections to the use of the word "play"
And your point is valid, but I was adressing the original posted question, and I still say that even in cases liek yours lying or standing mute is more likely to cause issues

 

[ownedsubgal]

You're a slave
That's a BDSM relationship
The marks were inflicted as part of it (as a condition of your slavery)
Therefore, it's not a lie...altho I can see your objections to the use of the word "play"
And your point is valid, but I was adressing the original posted question, and I still say that even in cases liek yours lying or standing mute is more likely to cause issues

actually James, our relationship is not a BDSM relationship. bdsm to me doesn't mean D/s, or M/s. bdsm encompasses a very minute part of our "extracurriculars" if you will, but is not by any means the basis of our lifestyle. so, both the "bdsm" and the "play" would be lies in our case. i agree with you that lying is likely to cause more issues, besides the fact that it's dishonorable. as for standing mute, i don't believe it's a good idea to be completely silent around authorities either when this sort of thing is brought to the forefront. but one can be quiet as far as explaining the marks/bruises/injuries on their body while still being open and honest about other things, which is not so suspcious to the vanilla coppers/docs.

 

[James G 5]

actually James, our relationship is not a BDSM relationship. bdsm to me doesn't mean D/s, or M/s. bdsm encompasses a very minute part of our "extracurriculars" if you will, but is not by any means the basis of our lifestyle. so, both the "bdsm" and the "play" would be lies in our case. i agree with you that lying is likely to cause more issues, besides the fact that it's dishonorable. as for standing mute, i don't believe it's a good idea to be completely silent around authorities either when this sort of thing is brought to the forefront. but one can be quiet as far as explaining the marks/bruises/injuries on their body while still being open and honest about other things, which is not so suspcious to the vanilla coppers/docs.

Well, I should clarify...given the plethora of definitions given for BDSM, it sometimes stands for slave/master
And altho you take it to the level of slavery, Dominant/submisive still applies according to the definitions of those words...you refer to yourself as a submissive person who met a Dominant man and is now his slave so...
I am curious as to why the use of that term seems so "wrong" to you, but that's another thread

 

[ownedsubgal]

Well, I should clarify...given the plethora of definitions given for BDSM, it sometimes stands for slave/master
And altho you take it to the level of slavery, Dominant/submisive still applies according to the definitions of those words...you refer to yourself as a submissive person who met a Dominant man and is now his slave so...
I am curious as to why the use of that term seems so "wrong" to you, but that's another thread

i think the d/s (note the lower case) in bdsm when used to stand for dominance and submission, applies to sexual dominance and submission, and not actual Dominant and submissive people living a lifestyle true to their natures, but more people playing a role/having fun (and there's not a thing wrong with that) in their sexual/erotic lives. therefore, bdsm wouldn't apply to our lifestyle (Daddy's and mine). i won't even get into the sometimey slave/master definition. but you are right, that is quite another thread.

 

[Etoile]

i think the d/s (note the lower case) in bdsm when used to stand for dominance and submission, applies to sexual dominance and submission, and not actual Dominant and submissive people living a lifestyle true to their natures, but more people playing a role/having fun (and there's not a thing wrong with that) in their sexual/erotic lives. therefore, bdsm wouldn't apply to our lifestyle (Daddy's and mine). i won't even get into the sometimey slave/master definition. but you are right, that is quite another thread.

I think it can refer to both sexual and "true nature" D/s. I think it's rather limiting to assume it's only one or the other. Just my opinion.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i am well aware that many who use the term BDSM are including D/s...true D/s, in that as well. but it is just personal pet peeve of mine, i cannot stand D/s and bdsm being discussed as if they were one and the same, or as if one were part of the other. to me they refer to two entirely different lifestyles, which may be joined, but often are not. my Master has the same issue with it...bdsm for us means erotica...S&M, or bondage with a sexual tinge...part of our lives for sure, but part of our erotic lives, and not the basis of our union. we aren't the "ds" in bdsm...we're D/s. just a different viewpoint, but i don't think it's limiting.

 

[Daedalus77]

Well it's official. Impish has marks. And she loves them almost as much as the spanking itself. Her delima? I get waxed monthly. To further complicate things, my dominant has implied that he will enjoy marking me before my next trip. How do I explain?

How do you deal with explaining your bdsm marks? What about when you go to the doctor, a girls weekend away and changing in the same room?

It depends on the situation. If it is someone you are worried about reporting you to authorities you might tell them it was kinky sex and they will probably not want to go further. If they press the issue just let them know it turned you on and liked it. For locker room passer bye's or waxers just tell them you had a rough game of paint ball, rugby or football.

 

[Rantalith]

How does one find a kink-friendly Doctor? Sorry just curious not trying to hijack

Talk to others in the BDSM group in your area. I am sure that a few doctors are in the group.

 

[Impish]

Thank you!

Well thank you ALL for the really thoughtful responses. At the waxers, I ended up smiling big and saying nothing (altho my marks were minor when it was all said and done). I think it ended up being about my willingness to be marked, even in an uncomfortable situation. Ah the learning in practice - sometimes it takes a min for it to connect.

And for the record, I would never lie or make up a story. So grinning (thanks James) certainly worked. And I appreciate the education/advice on what not to do when it's a medical trip.

Be well... oh and I still love the marks.

 

[AvaAdore]

"what's that mark?"
"it's a bite."
"oh my! what kind of bite?"
"a dom/me bite."

 

[hurtme]

always late, but anyway...can't remember who said it, but the marital arts excuse works for women as well, I have used it a couple times...only in a few cases, like going out for dinner with my grandmother...and it works well (until they ask you to do "a move"...I don't believe in the saying nothing, if you ask, i am going to tell you what those marks are from...and mine aren't always easy to hide, like the burns on my wrists form the bite of a rope...or the bruising on my neck (I REALLY like to be choked)...lol, but I am happy they are there....

 

[Etoile]

always late, but anyway...can't remember who said it, but the marital arts excuse works for women as well, I have used it a couple times...only in a few cases, like going out for dinner with my grandmother...and it works well (until they ask you to do "a move"...I don't believe in the saying nothing, if you ask, i am going to tell you what those marks are from...and mine aren't always easy to hide, like the burns on my wrists form the bite of a rope...or the bruising on my neck (I REALLY like to be choked)...lol, but I am happy they are there....

"Marital" arts indeed!

 

[AvaAdore]

heh, martial arts would work for me because i do actually do martial arts!

 

[James G 5]

Re: Thank you!

And for the record, I would never lie or make up a story. So grinning (thanks James) certainly worked. And I appreciate the education/advice on what not to do when it's a medical trip.

Be well... oh and I still love the marks.

glad I could help
That's what I'm here for, after all

Well, that and to mebbe occasionaly get me some ass

 

[AvaAdore]

heh, martial arts would work for me because i do actually do martial arts!

actually, in my experience of taekwon do you never really get beat up...the most common marks i've received are scratches (that bleed!) from people who have neglected to cut their toenails...

 

[James G 5]

actually, in my experience of taekwon do you never really get beat up...the most common marks i've received are scratches (that bleed!) from people who have neglected to cut their toenails...

See, I do Judo, Ju-Jitsu, Brazilian jujitsu, and other grappling arts
all that rolling around on the floor, throwing each other, and grabbing at one another tends to lead to all SORTS of odd/awkward marks

 

[catalina_francisco]

I was on the table, he carefully washed the site (lower leg), then stopped, looked me in the eye & said "I could tell you this won't hurt,.... but you know I'd lie". He then teased/ tormented me with full descriptions of the many sutures, how long it would take, how painful it may be etc whilst he completed the procedure. He was never inappropriate in any way, he just acknowledged my submission by revealing his dominance to me. Fascinating. I learned that "we" are everywhere, in all walks of life.

I think you may have mistaken professional responsibility for dominance i_c. Being Australian myself, and having had several surgeries, most before entering this lifestyle, I have had this same treatment from every surgeon on the return visit. I once jokingly explained I really did not need the description and was told it was part of the procedure that doctors followed to ensure their patients were aware of what was happening, minimise chance of shock, and also protect themselves from legal steps from patients who wanted to claim they were not warned of what to expect.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

Thanks for bumping this thread, Catalina. I'd enjoyed it in the first go-round and I look forward to further discussion.