Married Woman Who Like To...

[LustyLeo22]

Leo - maybe you've already tried this approach, so please forgive me if this is redundant. But you just might have to tell him exactly what you are after. Tell him all the little things that would make you feel appreciated and wanted. This may seem counter-intuitive, especially when you've been together with someone for so long and it seem like they should just KNOW what you want. But from my own experience, it doesn't work like that - at least, not in my relationship. I don't know if your husband is the same way, but my husband basically said to me, "I'm a guy, not a mind reader. Just tell me what you want, what makes you feel special and I'll try to pay more attention to those things." And for the most part, he has. Sometimes he does better than others, but then - don't we all.

And thank you as well you're not redundant because I really haven't opened up a whole lot about this to anyone (although I've read a lot of similar). And yes, it's not only counter intuitive but also rather unromantic! But... If that's what it takes it's worth a try.

Of course, now I have to figure out what all those little things are! Lol

 

[bailadora]

And thank you as well you're not redundant because I really haven't opened up a whole lot about this to anyone (although I've read a lot of similar). And yes, it's not only counter intuitive but also rather unromantic! But... If that's what it takes it's worth a try.

Of course, now I have to figure out what all those little things are! Lol

If you've not heard of it, I'd suggest checking out The Five Love Languages.

The premise is that there are 5 basic ways most people demonstrate their love or affection for someone else. But miscommunication or misunderstanding can occur when two people don't speak the same love language. It might be that your husband is expressing his appreciation for you in a way that makes sense to him (ie words of affirmation - "you're beautiful"), but that really doesn't have as much meaning for you.

I found it to be a very interesting read and it's helped me not only in my relationship with my husband, but with my kids as well - as I learn to understand their love languages. Good luck!

 

[redwingsgirl]

I dont really confess much (referring to the start of this thread) and keep to myself mostly, but wow... Seems there are quite a few of us girls who get neglected at home. I never expected that to happen. But now, after a pretty distressing episode on my birthday, I've given up initiating anything with my husband. And guess what? He rarely initiates anything, which is what I'd suspected. I have a few other places to "get it," but it's still few and far between.

Anyway, not that I'm happy that other women have to go through this too, but it's a small comfort to know I'm not alone. I really was starting to think there's something wrong w me. Either sexually (overactive?) or just personally (why doesnt he want me?)

Sigh...

 

[FatBttmGrl]

If you've not heard of it, I'd suggest checking out The Five Love Languages.

The premise is that there are 5 basic ways most people demonstrate their love or affection for someone else. But miscommunication or misunderstanding can occur when two people don't speak the same love language. It might be that your husband is expressing his appreciation for you in a way that makes sense to him (ie words of affirmation - "you're beautiful"), but that really doesn't have as much meaning for you.

I found it to be a very interesting read and it's helped me not only in my relationship with my husband, but with my kids as well - as I learn to understand their love languages. Good luck!

My husband and I took this quiz. It was actually very interesting to find out that the way we both express love and the way we like to receive love were very different. When it comes to receiving love I prefer acts of service while he prefers physical touch. But what we found interesting was that the way we both showed our love fit well with the other. He shows his love by acts of service-- fixing things around the house, helping me with activities, etc... I show love with physical touch--- hugging, kissing, rubbing the back, etc...

It really helped us to see how our innate ways of showing love meshed with the other's way of receiving love and opened up a good discussion on why we behaved in certain ways.

BTW both of us scored a 0 on gift giving. lol

 

[NaturistLouise]

I think when you been married for along time you know your partner well and its very hard to keep things fresh and different and after a while you tend to get stuck in a rut,same things same days,

I agree that this can happen so easily and one must keep working at new ways to keep the sex alive. Hubby and I are happily married and we do not want to include others in our real sex lives.

However, we have found that exchanging sexy and personal pics / e-mails / messages with like minded people adds spice and excites both of us.

 

[junk_yard]

I dont really confess much (referring to the start of this thread) and keep to myself mostly, but wow... Seems there are quite a few of us girls who get neglected at home. I never expected that to happen. But now, after a pretty distressing episode on my birthday, I've given up initiating anything with my husband. And guess what? He rarely initiates anything, which is what I'd suspected. I have a few other places to "get it," but it's still few and far between.

Anyway, not that I'm happy that other women have to go through this too, but it's a small comfort to know I'm not alone. I really was starting to think there's something wrong w me. Either sexually (overactive?) or just personally (why doesnt he want me?)

Sigh...

Upon reading your post, I can place myself in your situation... only it's my wife who doesn't respond to advances or want to do much any more. She has just gone through the "change"??? Although I'm a bit older, I still need and crave that sexual outlet... and it's not happening. At least not with a partner... I too have moved to the DARK side, and I think there are a hell of a lot more of us out there in this world than many will confess to.

I just want to chat with someone like you who is curious as to what others are experiencing and thinking.

 

[deskuser]

I really enjoy chatting with married and unmarried men on here doesn't really matter. I also chat with women too and quite flattered that one or two have shown quite an interest. I'm happily married and my husband knows I come on here to flirt and converse. Its really good fun and some of the people I meet are damn sexy.

 

[radar182]

..........

 

[Way2sexy4u]

I just found this thread for the first time. I didn't get a chance to go through all the responses. But I will mark it and come back to it.

FWIW, I'm married and my wife doesn't know I get on Lit to read, post, etc. She just hardly seems interested in sex at all anymore. It's sad really as we are both in our 30s and it shouldn't be like this, IMO. Sometime I do chat with other men or women just to get things out. But a lot of times, it is hard for men to even get a word into a lady they find interesting on Lit because of the guys that only want chat with women to get their rocks off. I've been on Lit for probably 8 years and I've seen it so many times.

But anyway, yes, I do like to chat with others about sex, and the frustrations of it in my life.

 

[ElizaCat22]

I'm married and have been for 11 yrs. I just recently began an online friendship with a man who is also married because we are unhappy in our current situations (we met on another site). He does not live too near for us to meet regularly but near enough that we could meet if we could arrange our schedules. We have discussed sexual topics, I introduced him to some really good stories on Lit but we have not done cybersex, phone sex, or sexting.
My husband doesn't know I visit this site as far as I know and he certainly doesn't know about my new friend.
I don't have friends outside my job that I can share my problems with so chatting with a stranger about my frustrations in my marriage helps me. Otherwise I'd keep it bottled up inside and probably cause myself harm.
I haven't really chatted with anyone from this site yet as I'm still fairly new and haven't been able to read many of the topics being discussed.
As an FYI: I'm not wanting something purely sexual either.

 

[livin1971]

I'm married and have been for 11 yrs. I just recently began an online friendship with a man who is also married because we are unhappy in our current situations (we met on another site). He does not live too near for us to meet regularly but near enough that we could meet if we could arrange our schedules. We have discussed sexual topics, I introduced him to some really good stories on Lit but we have not done cybersex, phone sex, or sexting.
My husband doesn't know I visit this site as far as I know and he certainly doesn't know about my new friend.
I don't have friends outside my job that I can share my problems with so chatting with a stranger about my frustrations in my marriage helps me. Otherwise I'd keep it bottled up inside and probably cause myself harm.
I haven't really chatted with anyone from this site yet as I'm still fairly new and haven't been able to read many of the topics being discussed.
As an FYI: I'm not wanting something purely sexual either.

You can chat with me I will listen and reply back.

 

[kyarmyguy]

I'm married. And nothing gets me going more than lurking on lit on my phone in bed while my husband sleeps.

I do the same thing.

Sometimes I have to sneak out of bed and go somewhere private to PM back and forth while stroking and playing.....

KYarmyguy

 

[ButtAnalMan]

Hi I am her

 

[earth7913]

Who knew?

So I came to this thread expecting one thing but found something else. Imagine that, women who dont get enough attention from thier respective husbands and come to the lit forum to try and fullfill that need. Now I know there are many men out there with this problem, I am one of them too, but the ladies.... who knew???

I would certainly be more than happy to PM with anyone in a similar boat. Misery does love company!!!

 

[Sistinas74]

Ironic...

The original post brought quite a wide variety of situations from a lot of different ppl on here! It is ironic that it is my husband who introduced me to this site. I have only recently really started to explore all the forums and they have become quite interesting...and a bit frightful at times!! Just when you thought YOU have seen it all in life you find out you don't have a clue! I think for women we desire much more of an emotional connection in order to be satisfied sexually than men do, and that men work much harder in pursuing women in order to get them in bed...so after marriage sets in there usually ends up in being ZERO effort to keep the emotional aspect of a relationship stimulated. At that point the sex is still there and "robotic mode" sets in. Now it can also mean the wife gets turned off and just doesn't give it up anymore then at that point hubby starts looking for other sexual outlets and fires up pursuing another woman. Def think women end up looking elsewhere for that emotional piece that makes them feel they are desired for being who they are

 

[Nicekswife]

.....

 

[JonnyD1]

'deleted'

 

[Kat1971]

I joined Lit recently as I've started writing erotic lit as found it was the best way to satisfy my own desires. Realised I was using it as substitute for inactive sex life with my wife. So glad I found this thread as found out I'm not alone in lurking (great term by the way) in the dead of night while the wife sleeps. And surprised to hear of so many women who do the same. Hope we all get what we crave soon enough.

 

[ButtAnalMan]

My favorite fantasy changes depending on how horny i get, but has same basic theme. I imagine 5-10 guys with me. Usually it starts with them at my house, in my living room carressing my body all over. They strip me slowly, continuing to carress my body. As they get me completely exposed, they get a little more aggressive, caresses turn to rubbing and groping, pinching my nipples, biting my neck gently, and then licking me and nibbling at me like a pack of wolves.
They lay me down on the floor or on the kitchen table, two of them spread my legs exposing how wet i am. Holding my legs apart, one or two take my arms and hold my hands against their crotch, letting me grope them. Another removes his clothes, showin me his hard cock, he moves between my legs and starts slowly thrusting in me, as i start orgasming he goes faster and harder. He finishes cumming in me, then moves around to my head for me to clean him off as another strips and moves to take his turn. They all take their turns, cumming in me or on me and then having me clean them off.

When i get more horny i imagine more guys, or at a hotel for a weekend marathon, the worst is when i imagine my husband being there and only being able to watch.

What about DP?

 

[ButtAnalMan]

I have been lurking around reading these forums for a while, and just joined today.

I'm married, and have in the past enjoyed talking with others, male and female, about sex if I get to know them and the conversation just ends up going there.

I have never been into "cybering" so to speak, but I find just talking about sex and intimacy is a better kick anyway.

Ready to talk?

 

[JonnyD1]

'deleted'

 

[goesallnight]

My favorite fantasy changes depending on how horny i get, but has same basic theme. I imagine 5-10 guys with me. Usually it starts with them at my house, in my living room carressing my body all over. They strip me slowly, continuing to carress my body. As they get me completely exposed, they get a little more aggressive, caresses turn to rubbing and groping, pinching my nipples, biting my neck gently, and then licking me and nibbling at me like a pack of wolves.
They lay me down on the floor or on the kitchen table, two of them spread my legs exposing how wet i am. Holding my legs apart, one or two take my arms and hold my hands against their crotch, letting me grope them. Another removes his clothes, showin me his hard cock, he moves between my legs and starts slowly thrusting in me, as i start orgasming he goes faster and harder. He finishes cumming in me, then moves around to my head for me to clean him off as another strips and moves to take his turn. They all take their turns, cumming in me or on me and then having me clean them off.

When i get more horny i imagine more guys, or at a hotel for a weekend marathon, the worst is when i imagine my husband being there and only being able to watch.

You should read "Sex at Dawn" I think that this is how we were as a society long ago. It was much better then for both parties. Lots of fucking and lots of happiness.

 

[Byron999]

Thanks JonnyD1, I'll see how it goes.

Welcome to Lit. Rainshine. Nice to see another "downunder/Australasian" here ... there's quite a few of us. I am "in touch" with several of the Aussies although a Kiwi myself (I guess they humour me ).

Don't be afraid to ask if you have any questions. in most of the forums and threads people are very friendly, helpful and welcoming.

B

 

[dirtycarol]

Yes, I do like to chat, e-mail, and write fantasy stories with and for married men. I think it enhances both our sex lives. I've recently exchanged some e-mails with younger unmarried men, but it's not as stimulating for me. I'm 51 and have been married for thirty three years, (yes, I was young when I married.

BTW, I just discovered this little sub forum the other day after being on lit some years now. Seems it's been hidden away from mainstream traffic.

 

[harry johnson]

This is an interesting thread. Funny, honest, and real.