Meeting Potential Partners

[the captians wench]

That's good advice, and I do agree.

Lately, everyone that tries to contact me is like across the country though. I've done that once (he lived in michigan) and boy was that not fun! He did come visit me as often as possible and call every day, but I got horribly lonely!

I see what you mean about the religious stuff..if you're just going to deal with each other briefly, religion isn't an issue. Those who think it's unfair of me to not get involved with christians probably aren't pagan or never dated one.

Christians hear that you are pagan and start with the fire and brimstone lecture , 9 times out of 10. The ones who SAY they are ok with it still freak out at some of the pagan paraphernalia in my house or get uncomfortable when I talk about my beliefs. Partners should be able to share everything....not being able to discuss religion limits your ability to understand and comfort each other, especially when tragic things happen such as a death in the family.

while I agree that it does make it harder, I'd watch it with the quick judgements. I have seen some horrible things done to some very nice people, but that's universal, I've seen just as many pagan on christian acts as christian on pagan and so on.

No I was never comfortable with some of the more detailed artifacts of his religion, the pentagrams didn't bother me so much when he wore them, but i never tried to convert him. My family was always respectful to him and he me and my family.

But I do personally believe that when two people enter a romantic relationship that they should share simular beliefs, including spiritul matures.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

That's good advice, and I do agree.

Lately, everyone that tries to contact me is like across the country though. I've done that once (he lived in michigan) and boy was that not fun! He did come visit me as often as possible and call every day, but I got horribly lonely!

I see what you mean about the religious stuff..if you're just going to deal with each other briefly, religion isn't an issue. Those who think it's unfair of me to not get involved with christians probably aren't pagan or never dated one.

Christians hear that you are pagan and start with the fire and brimstone lecture , 9 times out of 10. The ones who SAY they are ok with it still freak out at some of the pagan paraphernalia in my house or get uncomfortable when I talk about my beliefs. Partners should be able to share everything....not being able to discuss religion limits your ability to understand and comfort each other, especially when tragic things happen such as a death in the family.

i am a christian, and though i've never dated a pagan, i would not object to it simply because they were pagan, and i know i am not the only one. you are speaking of the christians 'holier than thou' crowd and though it seems like it, it's not the 'norm' for christians. my best friend is a pagan, i've no problem with it, though we do not discuss religion simply because she is not open minded and calls my beliefs 'ridiculous'. as i stated earlier Master is Buddhist, i love that we come from different religions and are open to discussing our religions. as far as when i said you were making excuses , it just sure seemed that way, everytime someone would give you another option to meet people, you had a reason for why it wouldn't work......anyway, good luck to you

 

[GeekySub]

everytime someone would give you another option to meet people, you had a reason for why it wouldn't work......anyway, good luck to you

Exactly...a REASON. Not an excuse. I find it ridiculous that people felt things like "work" "helping aging parents" and "running family farm" were considered excuses and not valid reasons.

What kind of place did these people come from? A place where your love life is more important than family and you can call off from work "just because?"

 

[CutieMouse]

What kind of place did these people come from? A place where your love life is more important than family and you can call off from work "just because?"

And I am equally incredulous that there are people who say they really want a relationship, and are tired of being alone, but are unwilling to consider any advice that suggests they might need to think outside the box with regards to their schedules, obligations, responsibilities, or immediate vacinity, in order to free up time to find/create opportunities to develop said relationship.

 

[GeekySub]

I just find it unreasonable to reschedule one's whole life for romance. Romance has to fit into the bigger picture, not the other way around.

 

[CutieMouse]

I just find it unreasonable to reschedule one's whole life for romance. Romance has to fit into the bigger picture, not the other way around.

Life and relationships need to *compliment* one aother... which means sometimes Life needs to compromise for a Relationship, and sometimes a Relationship needs to compromise for Life.

If one isn't willing to make any compromises or changes to on'es Life, in order to accomidate a Relationship, odds are Relationships won't happen.

If one isn't willing to make any compromises or changes with regards to one's Relationship (and/or their partner refuses to do so), one will have companionship, but a very stressful Life.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Happy Birthday

Hands you a new lure to use fishing. Have a great birthday.

 

[GeekySub]

Thank you

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Thank you

Ok so bend over for them spankings. Don't worry I've done this before.

 

[Vessira]

Some advice from someone who's been there:

I've been in GeekySub's shoes. If you have a slew of LDR it just totally turns off the option for a while. You stop being able to remember the last time you were with someone you got to see at least a few times a week, and actually felt like they were an active part of your life. Of course you CAN have that with LDR, but it's often harder, and I've always found it's hard to share your life with someone if they're not really there.

Remember of course that simply finding someone in your geographic promixity doesn't make them an ideal candidate to date. After my last LDR, I swore them off again, and started looking for people in my area. I eventually found one, who broke my heart after a few months saying he wasn't ready for a relationship, and then proceeded to get involved with another girl. The one after that stopped seeing me to get involved in a LDR with his ex who lives 3000 miles away. In some ways, those hurt more because the person who was an active part of my life was suddenly gone.

Eventually I finally decided to move away from where I live to somewhere new once the lease on my apartment is up. Guess what happens? I found someone in my area who pretty much is everything I was looking for in the first place (on alt.com btw). Now we've been involved for close to 2 months, I adore him to pieces, yet I'm still planning to move away in June and I'm not sure what to do (I really don't want to stay in this city).

The best advice I can give you is this: figure out what your needs are. If you are someone who needs a relationship with someone you see every 2-3 days, that's fine. Make that a part of your personal ads. If you'd like every 2-3 days, but would be satisfied with once a week, keep that in mind as well. Now factor in the different variables you want in a Dom, as well as your relationship dealbreakers (i.e. someone must have their own car, no kids, whatever). Write it all out. Be specific. And don't settle. This may not help you actually find someone (you need to do some searching of profiles on your sites, just don't throw up a profile and wait for them to find you). But it will help you know what you're looking for, and weed out people who wouldn't be suitable quickly.

You might think there's a general lack of matches in your area, which is possible. But people move all the time, or end relationships, or decide they're ready for a partner all the time. Just keep plugging away.

Also, since you're a professed nerd/geek, you might wanna check out the Nerd Power thread in the Personals Section (Playground) on here. We're friendly folks, some with kinks, others not so much, but I think we have a few cute Nerdy Texans.

GL to you.

 

[GeekySub]

Thanks for the encouragement You hit it right on the head...I'm just SICK of long distance stuff. The good news is that I have started chatting with two guys who live relatively local (dallas) and hoping that one or the other will end up being someone I'd like to meet!