Men seeking to write women better

[MillieDynamite]

Look, we aren't that different, you and I, outside the physical differences. Men see the sunshine, perhaps, they don't have feelings about the sunshine, but feel the warmth and bath in glorious glow of a sunrise. A man see's a baby, he must be moved at the miracle of life as much as women, right? Women don't feel deeper than men, they just have feelings for different things. The mystery of a woman, if such a mystery does exist, isn't how we process emotions, it's how we put up with men.

Yes, the last sentences is a joke. You know, a joke, don't you.

I process situations with both my brain and my heart. I see the world and see all the good and bad, and have emotions about those things. But decisions are most often done with my mind not my heart. Now there exceptions to that. I'll follow my heart in my relationships until it's painfully clear that the other person doesn't give a crap about me. I don't know how to tell a person to write a woman, we are all different in some unique way, or we aren't. We are just like men, we are all different from each other. Some of us like football, some of us hate it. Guess what, some men hate football.

Talk to women, get to know them, ask them questions. Watch movies, classic movies without a lot of action. Watch Casablanca, All About Eve, So Big, and you can you learn a lot about women. You can also learn a lot about men.

 

[onehitwanda]

I'm a person. I want to be held, to be cherished, to matter. I don't think I'm all that different from men, or at least those men I've spent any significant time around.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Well, you did write a nominally male space octopus who reminded me quite a lot of slacker flatmate I used to have.

That is fucking hilarious

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm a person. I want to be held, to be cherished, to matter. I don't think I'm all that different from men, or at least those men I've spent any significant time around.

This. But I do like shoes. Quite a lot actually.

Em

 

[MillieDynamite]

#Me too.

This. But I do like shoes. Quite a lot actually.

Em

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Speaking of football, I have to get the snacks ready for the big Game with the Jets. Go Broncos.

 

[onehitwanda]

This. But I do like shoes. Quite a lot actually.

Em

I have three pairs of shoes, I think. Maybe four if you count my winter walking boots.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I have three pairs of shoes, I think. Maybe four if you count my winter walking boots.

Oh dear. I’m not Imelda Marcos - not quite.

I do have some sensible ones, but a lot are designed to make me feel a little less dwarf-like.

Em

 

[Bamagan]

I have three pairs of shoes, I think. Maybe four if you count my winter walking boots.

Reminds me of a married couple I used to know. They liked to tease each other about their special purpose items. She had shoes that were worn perhaps twice a year that were paired only with specific outfits, which he found comically absurd. She, meanwhile, would mock him for needing 256 sizes of the same style of wrench because, as she claimed, 90% of engineers have been men and sometimes they demanded a 9/32" nut because 1/4" is just not clunky enough.

 

[onehitwanda]

Oh dear. I’m not Imelda Marcos - not quite.

I do have some sensible ones, but a lot are designed to make me feel a little less dwarf-like.

Em

I have a sudden mental image of you in a corset and six inch heels and nothing else.

I'll be in my bunk

 

[EmilyMiller]

I have a sudden mental image of you in a corset and six inch heels and nothing else.

I'll be in my bunk

Four inch maybe .

OK definitely

And I have a lovely corset my bf had made for me (they don’t normally come in my size) when we were dating.

Just sayin’

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

@onehitwanda - I think it’s so kind of us to offer this exemplar of typical female behavior to the OP. How selfless and public spirited we are.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

@onehitwanda - I think it’s so kind of us to offer this exemplar of typical female behavior to the OP. How selfless and public spirited we are.

Em

pubic spirited, surely?

(Are we the letches, Em?)

 

[Euphony]

Just write people/characters -- again, that's fine for main-stream fiction, but not for porn.

" I want to write real women and those who have had issue with my characterizations should help me but they can't be too real because that's not porn."

Most of us have zero issue with those who write tropey Little Annie Fannies but these "veneer of a real woman" ask posts grow exasperating.

If your definition of porn is incongruent with writing even standard characters, you aren't writing "real women" because real women are just real people which is what standard characterization seeks to represent.

Nothing wrong with owning you write stroke. If that's what keeps you writing, own it and do it.

Successful hybridizing is rare and for those who have mastered the forms they want to frankenstein.
(most hybrids feel more like low level characterization or plausibility stretching than an actual true hybrid)

 

[Euphony]

@onehitwanda - I think it’s so kind of us to offer this exemplar of typical female behavior to the OP. How selfless and public spirited we are.

Em

Too real. That's not "porn" Em.

Both of you need to be better if you want the menfolk to save erotic literature from itself.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Too real. That's not "porn" Em.

Both of you need to be better if you want the menfolk to save erotic literature from itself.

We will redouble our efforts .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

" I want to write real women and those who have had issue with my characterizations should help me but they can't be too real because that's not porn."

Most of us have zero issue with those who write tropey Little Annie Fannies but these "veneer of a real woman" ask posts grow exasperating.

If your definition of porn is incongruent with writing even standard characters, you aren't writing "real women" because real women are just real people which is what standard characterization seeks to represent.

Nothing wrong with owning you write stroke. If that's what keeps you writing, own it and do it.

Successful hybridizing is rare and for those who have mastered the forms they want to frankenstein.
(most hybrids feel more like low level characterization or plausibility stretching than an actual true hybrid)

That’s a lot of looooong words, hun.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

We will redouble our efforts .

Em

Asteroids do not concern me, Captain. I want that cleavage ship

 

[SimonDoom]

Speaking of football, I have to get the snacks ready for the big Game with the Jets. Go Broncos.

You just said two things that don't go together. "Big Game" and "Jets."

I know your team is a little desperate these days, but really. He's struggling of late, but your Wilson is better than theirs. Not that that's saying much.

My team takes on the Evil Empire this evening, and I'm looking forward to that. The snacks and drinks will be ready to go.

 

[Euphony]

We will redouble our efforts .

Em

Absolutely not.

Wanda is beyond rehabilitation.

I once read an entire chapter of her's where her female MC didn't think about sex or even a man AT ALL!

Caused me to start drinking again.

I plan to sue.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Asteroids do not concern me, Captain. I want that cleavage ship

It might take you some time to locate my cleavage, huh. It’s a bit like the Sasquatch.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

Wanda is beyond rehabilitation.

I get that a lot.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Absolutely not.

Wanda is beyond rehabilitation.

I once read an entire chapter of her's where her female MC didn't think about sex or even a man AT ALL!

Caused me to start drinking again.

I plan to sue.

Thing is - she can write super hot quasi-male sex (if female demons who can grow cocks counts), she just chooses not to.

And I love her for it .

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

It might take you some time to locate my cleavage, huh. It’s a bit like the Sasquatch.

Em

Five minutes with my compass. Seven if I have to account for magnetic deviation. Eight if it's sexual deviation. Ten if both.

Er... what was the question again?

 

[Omenainen]

I expect this has been discussed here many times, but a quick search of this forum didn't find any.
As a straight man trying to write erotic fiction (porn) involving women -- MF and FF scenarios -- my audience is primarily straight men. Yet I don't want to piss off any women readers. I know that it is common for men to write women poorly, and I am no exception. So I want to improve how I write women.

It just so happens that I’m hosting an event for this very purpose: Pink Orchid 2024

My point is that women need [clarification: should not refuse] to help men write women better -- particularly in erotic fiction -- at least when a man actually asks for help.
Dismissing male authors as unteachable doesn't help improve things. Some of us recognize our faults and want to improve.
"A man's gotta know his limitations." -- Harry Callahan

Maybe drop this attitude before attending though.